OMG! It’s the end of the world!!!

Annular EclipseDOOM! DOOM is upon us! The Sun is being eaten!!!! 

The eclipse is starting. I can see the changing of the light and am debating about making a pinhole observation device.

On the other hand, maybe I’ll just wait for the pictures later today.

I wonder how many religious cults are gleefully drinking Cyanide laced kool aid? Yeah, apparently several years ago there were a number of fundamentalist cults who believed the time of The Rapture was nigh and had to be talked off the ledge over some special eclipse.

I’m to the point in my life where I think no-one should talk idiots off the proverbial ledge. Evolution demands that only useful genes get passed on and those genes which are not useful are recycled as food. Stupid brutish humans are good for protection. (Ogg, you stand here. Don’t let anyone come through this gate. Yes Ogg, you can hit…) Generally stupid humans who are neither pretty, or strong, can probably be excised from the gene pool without causing a ripple. 

I think it was Dr Who, that said it best. “Life is just natures way of keeping the meat fresh

“What about the smart people?” You ask. 

Hey they’re the ones who know it’s an eclipse, a natural phenomena, and can maybe make a few bucks off the stupid by selling reflective mylar sheets for $200 a pop to morons as radiation shields. (Hey, Light is radiation… I never said which kind of radiation the sheet shielded against!)

It’s probably a really good thing that I don’t work at a Suicide Hot line. I’d have the worst “save” record because I’d be doing exactly what it said on the tin…

Happy Holidays, Suicide hot line how can I help? So how far along are you in your suicide? Oh, you’re up on the top of the building? Uh huh, and the building is at least 4 stories tall? Oh? Only two stories… Are there any wrought iron fences with spikes nearby? You’re just barely going to reach terminal velocity with a two story jump. I’d suggest finding a taller building or throwing yourself onto something that could impale you. Oh you’re welcome sir… have a wonderful death!

Yeah I’m a sick fuck!

Damn! The sun is recovering… I guess the Rapture isn’t happening today!

There’s always tomorrow!!!!

Have a nice day! 😉

Dog Farts!

IMG 2879

Okay. In light of the Israeli Hamas war we need something lighter.

I’m totally on board with Israel carpet bombing Gaza and the West Bank. I don’t care how many Palestinians are killed. For almost my entire life, Palestinians have been doing this shit and I’ve had enough. No fucking mercy, No Prisoners.

In honor of Hamas trying to declare a global day of jihad let’s talk about dog farts. After all Dog farts are way more important than Hamas or Palestine.

This is a picture of the fart machine that I live with. When I snapped this photo he was sound asleep and farting continuously.

We’re talking farts that peel paint, they make your eyes water, and burn the hairs right the hell out of your nose. Insects flying through the cloud of gas immediately fall to the ground dead.

He isn’t bothered an all by the stench. A benefit of the way his nose is built.

I on the other hand have no such biological adaptations, and am wondering if he’s a Jihad dog. Saddam’s nerve gas couldn’t be much worse than the stench my sweet puppy emits!

You’ll notice he’s wearing a bandana. That’s because he was groomed the other day. I’ve noticed a pattern.

For a few days after he’s been groomed, he has the foulest farts. I think it’s probably because he manages to work the groomer(s) out of an excessive number of treats. 

The campfire blazing saddlesI don’t know if this is actual fact and the pup sure as hell isn’t going to tell. He’s a treat / cookie monster and people want to give him treats.

I’m looking for something that I can eat to balance the scales. Since the dog sleeps on the bed with me I want to produce farts that drive him out of the bedroom at 3 am! 

Fair is fair!

Maybe I need to find some baked beans an recreate the “Beans” scene from Blazing Saddles.

Hmm, That’s interesting!

I updated my IOS and Apple Watch OS to the latest due to some security concerns.  Sigh!General iOS 17 Feature Orange Purple

Suddenly the weather functionality on my watch is all wonky. It’s obviously a bug. The weather info complications will work for a bit, then begin displaying “—“. They’ll still link to the actual weather application and that seems to be working just fine. 

Although in troubleshooting the issue I wiped all my saved locations. Not a big deal…

I thought it was a communication fault between my phone and watch, because I noticed the problem typically when I was outside and my phone was inside. Initially it looked like something not working when the watch was disconnecting from bluetooth. 

I was just about to flush the watch and start over. 

Then I thought, “Wait, I wonder if this is documented?”

It was, apparently Apple has introduced a bug as part of their updates to Weather. I’m glad I didn’t just wipe and restore my watch. The effort would have been pointless.

Busted software is busted software!

I’m wondering if Carrot Weather works, but then I’m not sure that I want to pay for another weather application. I really liked Dark Sky then Apple purchased the company. They did a pretty good job of merging the features of Dark Sky into the Apple weather app. But I’m now hesitant to spend on a subscription.

I have to say Carrot might be amusing because it apparently has a smart ass mode. That might be fun for a while.

Yes I can look outside and see the weather… But I like seeing a mini forecast like the expected high and low and what the probability of rain or snow is for a day or week. The complications on my watch face provide this information at a glance and while you wouldn’t think it would be missed, once you get used to it… you miss it a lot.

I miss it even in Southern California where the weather is boring in its sameness. If I lived in the Midwest or South I’d be losing my mind!

I also noticed another Bug in Apple Music on my phone. If you press the big, obvious, centrally located “Play” button it doesn’t change. There’s no indication that the album or playlist is actually playing. If the selection has a long quiet lead in you might find yourself pressing the play button repeatedly wondering what’s going on. What you’re doing, is restarting the playing selection over and over again.

User interface issues?

Come on Apple! You wrote the book on user interfaces. At least change the color of the button, change the symbol to the || symbol. Do something that tells the user their command has been accepted and is being executed.

Ive told you again and again… I’m happy to test your software. I keep applying for your open positions, I’m experienced, speak, read, and write English. I’m low maintenance! Just give me software and what specifications you have… I like testing software! I don’t need a special glitter covered desk or specialized bathroom designations. A simple workspace and the normal male symbol Malesym

Will do just fine. 

I’m being a little snarky because no matter how many applications I fill out with Apple, the deafening silence coming back from their HR department is a universal constant. Like Gravity.

Anyhow, off to fiddle with something else that needs fiddling with.

Have a good day