As in Curly, Larry, and Moe.
I was skimming the news and ran across a case of a 13 year old boy and two of his friends being brought up on sexual harassment charges.
First, 13 year old boys inadvertently sexually harass everyone. They’re riding the testosterone horse through no fault of their own, other than biology. They’re thinking about sex at least 40 seconds out of every minute.
That’s not to excuse it, but 13 year old boys are trying to learn how to be in control and honestly they’re going to slip up.
As I read the article, I was expecting them to have made some inappropriate comments about a particularly hot teacher.
(I know I had some seriously inappropriate thoughts about a particular teacher when I was their age. Oh Ms. Ivy, you were every boys dream!)
Picture Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science The line she leads off with after the boys have called her into existence is priceless, “So what would you little monsters like to do first?”
Reading further, it turns out the boys were being accused of sexual harassment because they’d failed to use the preferred pronouns of one of their classmates.
The classmate in question was a female… a girl… who identified as non-binary and her preferred pronouns are They/Them.
You know, it’s hard enough for kids to learn English! Then when you start throwing improper use of plural pronouns into the mix for special cases it’s going to make it far worse.
Further into the story, it comes out that the non-binary girl had for the entire school year gone off on these three boys in profane inappropriate language since November. The girl had only come out as non-binary in March.
It was apparently during one of these profane tirades that one of the boys rightly pointed out that his constitutional right to free speech didn’t mean he had to call anybody by incorrect pronouns. She was a She/Her not a They/Them.
Bravo! Young man! You were obviously paying attention in Civics and English!
Later on the boys side of the story gets more interesting. This girl was always accusing them of talking about her. Anytime she heard one of them say the word “She,” the girl automatically assumed they were talking about her. It sounds a lot like the girl has issues.
This is a possibility the boys were talking about her, if she was hot. The other possibility is that the boys were talking about her simply because she was such a pain in their collective asses. If she wasn’t hot, and hadn’t pissed the boys off during the day it’s more likely they were talking about their sisters, mothers, or a video game character.
Mothers and 13 year old boys often find themselves locked in conflict.
Clean your room!
Put your clothes in the hamper!
Stop leaving bowls and plates of mostly eaten food under your bed! Rinse the damn plate and stick it in the dishwasher when you’re done with it.
Why does your room always smell like a feral animal lives in there? (Technically Moms, a feral animal does live there.)
You’re not going out with your friends until your homework is complete and I’ve checked it!
All of the above common comments from Moms will generate griping and whinging one 13 year old boy to another.
It’s called puberty and adolescence. Generally everyone survives.
Little sisters have an annoying propensity to go into their big brother’s rooms.
At 13, your little sister finding your wadded up Kleenex and hand lotion could be devastating. Especially since your little sister is duty bound by her pact with Satan to bring these items to the attention of your mother..
Usually at the dinner table, in front of everyone, including your father. Some little sister’s hold onto that information until a large family gathering with Grandma and Grandpa and all the Aunts, Uncles, and cousins.
I can assure you that it’s not nearly as funny as the scene in Parenthood where Steve Martin goes searching for a flashlight during a blackout at his sister’s house and comes back asking how to turn the flashlight on.
In the darkness you hear a buzzing and then the lights come on.
It’s a little sister’s job to stir up as much shit as she can… Trust me, they usually get over it and turn into really nice people. Before they turn into nice people, they’re the topic of a lot of discussion between their brother and his friends. Those discussions are not usually nice.
The really screwed up part of this is that this allegation is going to be on the boys record. It could cause them problems in the future, say in college admissions?
At the end of the article, it was pointed out that currently the charges are in an investigation stage. But the accused boys families have all lawyered up.
I’m hoping to find a followup to the article. I’d like to see how the investigation comes out.
I also have to say, as an adult I’m going to be hard pressed to remember all the improper usage of pronouns when I’m out and about. I honestly cringe at the thought of having to return to an office and deal with crazy people freaking out about some bullshit weird pronouns.
Obviously I’m going to have to have some kind of scorecard just to function.
And the people I’d like to do the Moe Slap on…
Every member of the school board in these kids town. For that matter, I’d love to smack every single one of these “Woke MORONS” who have, and are still, bastardizing our language.
