We may have a mostly White Christmas

The jury is still out on that.

It’s snowing lightly now. Yesterday all we got was a slushy wet mix that’s turned to mostly ice overnight.

For me, what we got yesterday is the most hated of Winter weather. It’s heavy, and difficult to clear. You’re tempted to just leave it and hope that it goes away. But you only do that once. If you leave it, you’ll need a pickax and wonder if it would be legal to use dynamite.  The slush freezes to the road and driveway and then everything is a skating ring. That stuff takes forever to melt on its own and it typically doesn’t melt until you’ve get many days of sunshine and temps above 40° F.

So I was outside in the rain/sleet/snow for about 2, maybe 3 hours doing the shovel work to clear as much as I could. In a way, doing the work was therapeutic. When I came in I was soaked through but not really cold. I think I was working out frustrations and anger against an intractable force. 

I wasn’t angry or frustrated at the weather or anything, I was just being physical and doing something constructive. 

It turns out that even moderately strenuous physical activity does more to get my head on straight than just about anything else. Sure I can be physical anytime, the difference is, that I always feel like I should be doing something else if I’m walking or working out. Crazy as it sounds, taking that time for me seems selfish and undeserved. Fighting to keep the street and driveway clear is one of the few times when I’m really in the moment. 

I guess it’s a matter of the snow keeps falling, the ice keeps forming and there’s nothing personal about it. It just is.

Over the past two years or so, banging my head against the job market has taken on a personal feeling. “Why do these people not like me? Why can’t I get traction? What is wrong with me?” Those questions eat at you. After a while it becomes personal, frustrating, and super depressing. In part it’s because you have no human interaction and therefore can’t figure out what your’e doing wrong. There’s no body language to pick up clues from. 

I think that’s why so many people may have stopped even trying to find a “real job”. It’s easy to sink into depression wondering what the point is. Sure, you’ll maybe get a job but you’ll have to deal with a large group of people. Many of those people are looking to be offended about something all the time, and some of those are looking to cash in on a nice lawsuit retirement plan. For someone like me, walking on eggshells all the time is exhausting. The vagaries of human interaction just complicate getting the job before me completed. I prefer to do what we’re paid to do and go home at the end of the day.

Snow and ice are pure. You can see what you need to do, and what you need to do better. For me it allows the opportunity to direct any frustration and anger in a constructive direction and if I call the snow a name there’s only the whispering hiss of ice meeting ice. Mother Nature isn’t going to be offended, no one’s feelings will be hurt, and the snow keeps falling.

I actually prefer to be outside alone when I’m clearing snow. I don’t have to speak, or interact with anyone. There’s a purity about it and when I come in, there’s satisfaction in a job well done.

Because the neighborhood is calm and quiet right now, I can see rabbits and squirrels wandering around fearlessly untroubled by humans. The scene is serene and peaceful. One of the neighborhood dogs just ran by, she’s a shorthair and bundled up in a nifty yellow sweater. She’s more interested in catching snowflakes than chasing the bunnies or squirrels. Her exuberance makes me smile. I wish I could always live in the moment like dogs do.

The local forecast says the snow should stop in an hour or so. After that the likelihood of snow drops to 30% for the rest of the day. I’ll have another cup of coffee and some breakfast. My dog is still being sleeping beauty in the middle of the bed. When I start working in the kitchen he’ll be up trying to mooch something, then he’ll notice the new snowfall and be a 2 year old running in and out all day long.

My day is going to be busy, I’m sure there’s going to be at least one game of “Chase the snowball” in the yard. Then I’ll head out to shovel snow and close my exercise and activity rings.

Maybe the snow will hang around to add to the holiday cheer