See, I have this personality flaw. I expect shit to work consistently and reliably.
I’ve got 3 pairs of HomePod speakers in this house. 4 HomePod Mini’s and 2 of the standard HomePods. I’ve got an iPad, and iPhone, a watch, 2 Apple TVs, AirPod Pros, Oh and my MacBook Pro.
On the matter of the MacBook Pro, this is my old computer because my new one was stolen while I was trying to return it to you because it was defective right out of the box.
Of Course, YOU Apple, can’t be bothered to help me out. And because your guy in sales had me flush everything and reset the computer to factory conditions, I can’t even track the machine to whoever stole it. I could have, had you not told me the procedure was to make sure the computer was wiped and disconnected from my account… So Thanks a TON!
FedEx screwed me, and Dollar General (The FedEx drop-off point) screwed me so now I’m paying for a computer that I don’t have and I’m sure the fucker that stole it is just happy as hell to have a dumb white fuck paying for their fly computer. Given that they’re probably listening to nothing but RAP I doubt they’ll notice that the sound quality is shit until the audio shuts down completely or the computer shorts out completely and burns their home down. (Hopefully with them trapped inside.)
The police say they have no evidence that the computer was stolen they’re just listing it as a missing package so I can’t even file a proper police report.
Okay, I get it nobody is at fault. Except of course the fucker that stole the damn package. Oh and by the way I’m pretty sure I know exactly who the person is. It was the person who “Scanned” the package but somehow that scan didn’t actually get recorded by FedEx. But without proof I can’t make allegations.
So I’ll suck it up, pay for the damn computer, and continue to use my old machine. You know, the one that almost immediately went from 6 hours of battery life down to 3 hours of battery life after your wonderful OS upgrade called Monterey… Yeah, Thanks for that.
Before you go into the bullshit about batteries having a limited lifespan. Yeah, I know that. So why does the battery still say it’s got 94% of its charge capacity, and is in good health? Why did the battery drain begin literally the day after the Monterey upgrade?
The thing is, I’d probably be able to let it go except you Apple keep getting in my face. HomePods randomly report they’re not available. Then after considerable screwing around with them they magically come back. The Big HomePods reported yesterday that they weren’t on the same network as my iPhone. Wrong! The Router said the iPhone and HomePods had ip addresses and were pingable on the network.
Turns out… only one of the HomePods had a problem but since they’re a paired set well, the only way to sort it out was to ungroup them, then reset the one that was complaining and then regroup them.
This after the same set of HomePods asking me 3 days running for the passwords to my apple accounts and both of them working just fine as the sound system for the AppleTV while I was watching movies. Oh and just as a point, these HomePods had been set up from the phone they said wasn’t on the same network. Oddly, the other HomePod minis on the same network where fully functional.
Today, I thought I’d put a TV show on my computer while I was doing some other stuff. You’d think this wouldn’t be a problem except that the Apple library doesn’t show the second season of the TV show but Apple TV+ does.
My Archer collection is horribly screwed up, apparently because I had the temerity to purchase a multi season bundle. Not ONE of the episodes in that bundle has ever indicated that it’s been played, so if I wanted to watch I had to search through and remember what I’d already seen.
It gets better! I’m watching the show that I wanted to watch after finding it in AppleTV+ “up next”. I’m using my office HomePod Mini’s for sound and for no apparent reason, the right speaker simply shuts off.
The speaker is on the network, the router shows it talking to someone. But all the audio is coming through the left speaker. It was working just fine, nothing changed in the configuration other than time passing.
Restart the computer, power down the HomePods power up again, and things worked for 5 minutes, then boom, the right speaker is off again. What’s really cool is that if I touch the right speaker’s interface it starts playing music. While the left speaker is still playing the audio from the TV show. So much for them being a stereo pair!
Just FYI Apple this kind of shit is exactly why I dumped Windows and PCs.
Either be broken, don’t work at all, or work as advertised. I swear to God I unplug or reset at least one HomePod once a week because it suddenly says it can’t connect to the internet, or it’s taking too long to contact a device on the network, or it’s forgotten a password, or, or, or, or.
The point is, all of this crap just happens randomly. I’m not changing network settings. I’m not changing passwords. I’m just walking into the house or the room and shit mysteriously isn’t working.
The Homekit application on the phone is next to useless. The HomeKit on the computer is worse and that’s frankly inexcusable. You’ve got all the competing power of the MacBook at your disposal for diagnostic capabilities and you send the user to their iPhone or iPad for help that is nothing more than mental masturbation that literally has never solved a HomeKit or HomePod problem.
Instead you leave the user guessing about what could possibly be the trouble. Additionally, your support pages are next to useless because they provide no answers, and often not even decent steps to troubleshoot.
So Apple it’s not you. It’s the phase of the moon, sunspots, the router, the internet connection, or anything that doesn’t point to you having put out shitty software.
Just once it would be fucking nice to hear you admit you have a problem.
Here’s a thought… Stop dicking around with gender confused narcissists, and filling diversity quotas, and do us all a favor.
Hire people that can do the job. You know, good software engineers, and testing people.
By the way I’m probably not going to be buying another Apple Watch. I’ve discovered that I prefer a watch that works without recharging and at $1000 for one of your ruggedized watches. I’d rather wait a few years and spend $6000 on a nice Omega.
I’m probably not going to upgrade my iPad and I’m not likely to be buying a new iPhone in the near future.
As to buying a new Apple MacBook Pro… Well, I’ve already purchased one of those, even though apparently I donated it to some thieving motherfucker at your direction. I’ve reported that serial number to you Apple as stolen and had some expectation that when that SN popped up on the network you’d maybe report it to the Police.
That hope is fading fast.
So if Apple won’t report stolen equipment to the Police and is no longer interested in producing equipment “That Just Works” I am really having a hard time seeing why I should pay a premium price for Apple products.
In this world, perhaps it make more sense to just buy the same shit that everyone else has and replace it when it’s a year old, stolen, broken, or comes in a new color.
(Like Apple did with the HomePod minis last year… Nothing new except a color change, really Apple? Is that all you’ve got left?)
How’s that going to work for your Green Agenda? Apple can recycle their stuff all day long but if fewer folks are buying their products it’s not going to matter much is it?
I can buy a new android phone for $99 at Walmart and throw it away next year. I could do that for 10 years and just start to come up on the price of an iPhone.
$300 for a Windows Laptop and it’s the same equation.
$69 for an Alexa, or whatever and I still have the same shitty performance, connectivity to my smart house, and a speaker.
That’s going to do a lot of landfills good across the country isn’t it?
So no Apple it’s not you. I’m just tired of paying a premium price for mediocrity.
Believe me Apple you’ve become mediocre.
Now where did I put those speakers that I can plug directly into my USB Hub?
Maybe I’ll put one of these HomePod minis in the kitchen and another one in the garage. No point in expecting them to work as stereo speakers is there?