And we move step by step toward the Orwellian Nightmare…

IMG 0882As I’ve mentioned again and again Job searches are difficult especially if you’re an older worker.

Now as if to increase the difficulty, it’s become commonplace for recruiters to use your social media profile to determine your fitness for a particular position. 

If the recruiter finds something questionable in your social media, you’re not going to get the job. This apparently includes something as simple as a picture.

A news piece out of Texas where a job applicant was shamed over a photo in her instagram and didn’t get the job she was applying for demonstrates just how bad it’s gotten.

Those of us that don’t do a lot on social media or those of us who have no social media accounts are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. 

I found one line in the article particularly telling. 

“Go on with your bad self and do whatever in private. But this is not doing you any favors in finding a professional job.”

Uhh, you social media account is your social media account and it’s not the business of any employer to shame you especially for something as innocuous as a bikini photo.

This isn’t the first instance of social media being used to cause harm. This is simply the latest in a long line of egregious actions on the part of employers, or media.

I personally don’t want to live my life under a microscope. Yet it appears according to Linkedin that I must. 

I ask again where does it stop?

Will we end up with corporate “Social Purity Standards”, How about a GATTACA type society where genetic purity is required to work at all.

These articles about social media accounts all say you must be careful what you post, that makes sense, after all as my grandmother used to say, “You don’t air your dirty laundry in public.” 

But social media is something that you share between you and your friends. It should be something that allows you to keep in touch with a select group of people. That is, if you engage in it at all. My few friends and I typically communicate via text messages, or phone calls not because we have anything to hide but because that’s the way that is most comfortable.

We’re guys, sometimes we say off color things and honestly some comments if taken out of context could be blown way out of proportion.

Back in the stone age when I was in school we used to have object lessons taught to us by our teachers. One of those object lessons was on the nature of gossip. The lesson started by whispering something into the ear of the person sitting next to you. They whispered the same thing to the person next to them, and so on.

By the time the message got to the 15th person it was completely different and 100% wrong.

For example if a buddy of mine were to say, “I’m living in a tent in the back yard for the duration of October,” because he couldn’t stand his wife and daughter’s love of Pumkin Spice EVERYTHING as a joke. He may even have said it in front of his wife on a phone call which all involved would have laughed about.

If that was in a social media post and taken out of context, that same friend would be inundated with questions about how his separation was going and was he okay and what a bitch his wife was. Likewise on his wife’s social media her friends would be rallying around her and talking about what a son of a bitch he was and that she was better off without him.

It could easily be taken out of context.

3nd friend asks 2nd friend about him and short reply is “Well he’s out in the tent in the back yard with the dog”

3rd friend knows based on time of year that it’s a joke about pumpkin spice.

But an acquaintance of #1 and friend of number 3 sees the post and reads into it, “trouble in the marriage with divorce imminent,” before long the whole thing spins out of control and a lot more energy is spent correcting the misunderstanding than was spent creating the original post.

This is why so many older folks just aren’t that interested in social media. It’s not that they don’t know how to use it, they know how wrong things can go, and how quickly. It’s a lesson we all learned back in the early days of telephones when we all had “Party Lines”.

Party Lines were the single greatest source of neighborhood gossip in the ‘50s, ‘60s, and early ‘70s.

If you were filing for divorce, you went to the attorney’s office, you sure didn’t talk about it on the phone. Rumors often got started just because you made an appointment with a doctor, lawyer, or accountant on a party line.

Social media is the “Party Line” of this age. The irony is, back in the day, we all paid handsomely to have private lines as they became available in our neighborhoods.

Now, people flock to social media to post details about their lives that should be private and yet they’re sharing it all with whole world.

This makes me wonder if facebook still lists me as a user, or for that matter myspace. Those accounts have been closed for years, (According to facebook or myspace,) but I have no proof that another facebook or myspace user isn’t able to see what I posted before I decided social media wasn’t for me.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time for legislation to prevent corporate entities using social media to spy on their employees. God knows the last thing we need is more legislation, but perhaps it’s time to have a very clear division between corporate social media and personal social media and a “Never the twain shall meet” set of laws.

In the case of the young lady who was shamed by a potential employer, because there was a picture of her in a bikini on her instagram…

I hope she sues the shit out of them.

Chicken Wars

Chick-Fil-A.jpgChick-fil-A may close it’s first and only shop in the UK because the shopping center it resides in will not renew their lease. This is due to a horribly belated LGBT xyzmhdfslmnop protest over the comments of one man and his pursuit of his beliefs. By the way, his beliefs are no more or less important than anyone else’s.

It remains to be seen if Chick-fil-A will relocate. The article says they’re going to close, but perhaps the franchise can find a less PC shopping center in which to do business. If not, well…

UK don’t want no chicken, UK don’t get no chicken.

It goes deeper than a chicken stand. It sets a precedent and proves that the Empire is completely, irrefutably dead.

I ask you UK, what will you do when rage culture and protest devolves further into tribalism?

What will you do when certain factions protesting on behalf of the planet demand that cars be abolished for the good of the planet? Will you go back to horse and buggy?

What about cows and sheep? Surely their flatulence is an immediate threat to the wellbeing of your nation. Will you force your nation to veganism, walking, and taking sailing ships across the channel so that your citizens are totally green and must therefore go to Paris to fly to other destinations?

Will your butcher shops be closed due to the Vegan movement? Will you allow your people to be subjugated by vocal minorities, espousing the myriad beliefs fueled by two minute internet searches? How about the Church, surely they are guilty of participating in the horrific patriarchy that has so doomed the world.

Demonstrably, Religion is responsible for the destruction of indigenous people, incredibly biased actions against LGBT people, the crusades… I could go on.

Will you outlaw all religion for its past global sins? Will you demand the razing  of St Peters?

The CEO of Chick-fil-A was opposed to Gay Marriage in the United States. HE LOST. Marriage is now legal. He said his piece, supported his beliefs with his money in 2012, and lost.

The company is family operated and continues to donate to fundamentalist Christian organizations, that is their right and regardless of your agreement or disagreement they are acting in good faith to their stated charter.

How about directing your rage at the Middle East where LGBT people are commonly being thrown from buildings. How about boycotting gasoline from OPEC and demonstrating in front of middle eastern embassies? Yes, LGBT folks, using petrol is supporting the torture and subjugation of your LGBT brothers and sisters. 

LGBT people in the US go to Chick-fil-A today. Hey, It’s pretty good chicken at an okay price.

We have a saying in the US, “People vote with their wallets”

Perhaps you should do the same. No-one is forcing you to eat the damn chicken. There are people in your country that might enjoy it or it’s entirely possible that the chicken isn’t going to please the UK palate.

The LGBT community in the UK must have better things to do with their time and energy. Oh that’s right, you’ve allowed your country to be strangled by political correctness. You cannot say anything about the real problems you have, because those problems might offend small groups. And your government has systematically abridged your right of free expression. 

I’m fully aware that here in the US, we too are allowing erosion of those same rights. It’s not lost on me that the finger I’m pointing at you, has three fingers pointing right back at me. 

My point is, you’re wasting your time and energy. You’re only hurting yourselves, and looking pretty silly in the process. Choose something more relevant.

I’d suggest that the LGBT community in the US do the same thing. 

At this point the LGBT community is whining about so much and so often that they risk becoming nothing more than background noise. When viewed against the much larger concerns of the entire planet, is a chicken stand closure anything but a Roman Circus, or Pyrrhic victory?

Meeting (Dating, Hookup, Whatever) apps…

Ghosting v 1024x538We all know what they are. 

Many of us use them. 

They’re an outgrowth of social media and honestly, in my opinion our lack of ability to have a conversation with each other in person and perhaps fear.

It’s a lot easier to go down in flames on an application than to go down in a bar in front of your friends.

So part of the fear is the fear of rejection. I assume there’s a lot of fear in general too. I mean in a society where someone is more likely to film you being mugged than to stop the mugging, an application provides a safety margin and the ability to keep someone at arms length until you decide if they’re someone that you’d actually like to meet.

The downside is that instead of someone seeing you as you really are, and you them. Both of you have the opportunity to create completely fictitious personas. If these personas decide to meet then there’s the very real possibility that as the personas meet and dissolve, the two people are left with a critical choice.

ghosting101.pngTry to pick up the pieces of the fractured personas or call each other assholes. In many cases, meeting never happens. One party or the other “Ghosts”. Technically it’s a no harm, no foul, but one person is always left not knowing what they did, or didn’t do.

At least in a bar, you know from the other person’ body language that your advances are a no go. With the online world, the conversation just stops mid thought.

Another problem with online dating apps is that some people just engage in conversations that lead nowhere and then get pissy when you call them on it. Then there are those people that are trying to have affairs and who are so dishonest with even themselves that they can’t believe that someone might actually be just a simple honest person. 

You know, that unicorn of unicorns… Someone that’s honest in their profile and honest in their intentions.

The thing that really blows me away is the folks that “MEGA-Ghost”

These are the folks that not only stop communicating but also delete their profiles on whatever app and then completely disappear. I’ve personally run into a couple of these folks. What’s weird is when they do this and their stated intentions were just to find friends. 

2a11eb0547a0d8b0eea9670390bbc5f3It’s always gone something like this;

Them: “Wow you’re really nice, I’d like to meet sometime.”

Me: “Yes, that would be nice what are you thinking about? Coffee? Drink? Light lunch?”

Them: “Sure, that sounds nice.”

Me: “Okay, when and where?”

….

I honestly don’t understand why suddenly asking when and where causes silence and ghosting.

All you have to say is, “We’ll have to schedule it”. OR “You know I’m not ready to go there yet, can we just chat a while longer?” OR “I’m sorry, this is too scary; too fast; or I’m not ready to meet”

I’m a big boy, I can take it and we could go on chatting as before.

But damn! There’s no need to completely disappear. 

I recently ran into this kind of situation with a man who said they were looking for men in the local area with similar interests for friendship. Their profile said he wanted to go hiking and that he was looking for someone to talk with have an occasional drink and do outdoors stuff.

I don’t know what his true motive was, but we’d been chatting some, and even had made jokes about people not being clear about their wants. We live within 2 miles of each other and both of us could use a friend to go do stuff when we’re not up for the obligations of our respective relationships. You know… Having some guy time where you can say what you want and not worry about offending anyone.

If you’re hiking on a trail, you can say what you want without being accused of some heinous thought crime.

It was a Friday night, and just five minutes before he went silent, He’d said that he was alone for the next week as his wife was out of town and that he was bored.

I told him hey, “Let’s meet down at the bar. We can have a drink and get to know each other in person. From there we can see if we want to plan a hike or something.”

Ghost! 👻

What the hell?

It’s gotta be me. I must be too direct or something.

I figure anyone with a set of balls should be able to meet for a drink and see if the entertaining conversation is as much fun in person.

But apparently, that’s not the way we do things anymore.

I guess I should take it as the final test.

If I ask someone to have a drink, coffee, lunch, or whatever and they freak out. I should count my blessings and be thankful that I’m not going to get caught up in their drama.

I tend to take people at face value, If you tell me you’d like to get together I assume that you’re not lying and the next logical step is to arrange to meet. After all we don’t need to get carpal tunnel in front of our computer keyboards when we can actually chat in person.

Humm, maybe I’ll put that in my “Profile” and see if that changes the behaviors.

GOD, I miss the good ‘ol days of bars and real conversation.