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Normally I like Fall.

This time of year is usually one of my favorites.

It’s a time of changing leaves, cool temperatures, and relative peace.

Not this year.

This year, it’s me against nature. It also signals that soon I’ll be trapped into being here another 5 months. Even though I have no immediate plans to get the hell out of California, it’s a psychological barrier. One simply doesn’t change homes in the snow. I did it once a long time ago and learned my lesson.

We’re having a cold snap that is impairing my ability to finish painting the trim of the house. I started this project and then injured my knee. I’d started the project in the narrow window between the completion of the repairs from the water damage and now.

I thought at the time, “it will be tight but I’ll have time to finish before Winter.” Then I hurt my knee and spent 3 weeks hobbling around like an old man barely able to stand up.

You know that you’re hurt bad when the dog keeps licking your foot and leg, and doesn’t even react when you head to the door. It’s like the dog is saying, “Dude, you can walk yourself, you sure as hell can’t walk me!”

The licking can be bothersome but it’s sweet in its way. The pup is just trying to make you feel better as he would another dog. I take it as a sign that he’s decided we’re a pack.

The knee is getting better daily. I’ve been able to do much of the project by chipping away at it. I’ll work until my knee says, “That’s enough,” I’ve made good progress but I’m worried that I won’t be able to complete the project before it’s too cold to finish painting. Did you know that paint wont set up correctly below certain temperatures? I didn’t, until I moved here.

The other winterizing project that I have yet to do, is cleaning out the gutters. That, like painting requires that I be on a ladder. The more time I spend on a ladder, the less time I have to actually do the project before the knee starts “Bidening” (Calling a lid on the day). That’s a project that has got to get done, because otherwise water backs up in the gutters and then freezes, causing problems throughout the entire Winter.

The last project for Winter, is annoying but can be done regardless of the temperature. Unfortunately, it also means that I have to be on a ladder and climbing around in the attic. (There’s that ladder thing again!)

I’ve got to get in the attic crawlspace and retape the ductwork. We had some work done last year up in the attic and I think one or more of the ducts got pushed around, perhaps creating leaks between the ductwork and the registers. It happens, I didn’t notice the problem until months after the workmen had left because their work was done in the time between needing to run either the A/C or the heat.

You can do ductwork stuff in the Summer with the roof broiling in the sun and the attic is 120°F or you can do it in the fall when attic temps are more reasonable. I’ve chosen the latter.

Thinking about it, I should also clean out the dryer vent. That may be a “today” kind of project because it’s 35°F outside and windy. (So, no painting today!) As a bonus, there’s no ladder required.

All of this is to say,

Welcome to Fall!

It also serves as an explanation of why I’ve not been blogging as much as usual.

I’ve scanned the news recently. Nothing much has changed.

I could sum up the news like this, “We’re all gonna die, the government is out of money, one group or another is pissed off about something, and everything is going to hell in a hand basket.”

There, now you don’t have to watch the evening news. Instead, turn off the TV, shut down the computer, put the phone aside, and go read a good book.

Until next time… I hope you’re having a nice Fall season.

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OH Fauci… Shut the Fuck up!

In a recent trailer for a National Geographic documentary, St Fauci of the Mask said that he had PTSD from the AIDS crisis.

OH REALLY!?!?!

I was blindsided on some website by this trailer. After I finished throwing up, I thought, “What the fuck do you think people like me have, you bastard son of a bitch?”

St. Fauci of the Mask

With one exception, EVERYONE I knew or cared about died, horribly.

I didn’t have time to even grieve. Between funerals and having to be in the closet at work, (yes children, there was a time when being out at work was a fireable offense,) how deep do you think my personal PTSD goes?

How deep do you think the PTSD of other people in my age group is?

We lived in terror that we were next, for YEARS. While you Fauci, and your ilk, had people afraid to use the toilet, or touch door knobs. You had people wearing masks then too, for all the good it did.

You’re one of the sons of bitches that blocked various treatments to those suffering.

You’re one of the motherfuckers that made sure so many thousands of gay men died alone, isolated, in fear. You’re one of the bastards that profited on their misery and as an aside, made damn sure that if they had insurance, it didn’t pay for treatments so thousands died destitute because “experimental” drugs were so expensive.

You and people like you have no concept of what it’s like to find friends and former lovers time and again with their brains spattered across a wall of their home.

I shouldn’t know how to clean blood & brain off walls.

The first thing I thought then shouldn’t have been, “Oh he kept his porn stash there, there, and there.“I should have been thinking, “God please make this stop, I can’ loose anyone else,” I should have been able to be young, vulnerable, and human.

I wasn’t able to be, because it was my task or the task of his friends to “sanitize” the home prior to the upstanding Religious family showing up.

You know, the same family that was all too willing to take anything and everything of value, years after they’d disowned the deceased. The good righteous family that would instantly throw the deceased’s sick partner out onto the street so the house could be sold. Yeah THOSE wonderful people! At least Westboro Baptist Church was upfront about being bastards.

At the time St. Fauci of the Mask, you were a Roman Catholic and it was obvious that you hated both the “sin” and the “sinner”.

Don’t talk to me about PTSD!

Sick fucks like you don’t have any concept of being “The guy‘ people come to for advice about killing themselves. It wasn’t that I was qualified to provide advice, it was that I would speak of death honestly and openly, without platitudes or falsehoods.

I was often the last person someone dying of AIDS talked to. Because simply put, when folks reached the end, they needed a sounding board who wasn’t going to judge them.

At the time, psychoanalysts of various stripes either wouldn’t or couldn’t speak of these matters. They were bound by law to report that someone was a danger to themselves. Those reports would lead to hospitalization and a long drawn out agonizing death.

At 23, I felt like the Angel of Death. I shouldn’t have been that familiar with death unless I was in an active war zone. I wasn’t… I was in sunny California.

Not that I was taking lives, but it was as if somehow I was the Angel’s harbinger.

Believe me fucker… that leaves a mark on your soul.

I was the last being on Earth many of these people had a cup of tea, a conversation, a cocktail, or watched a movie with. Then they were gone, and I was standing graveside at another closed casket ceremony. Tears streaming down my face under the baleful eyes of the deceased’s relatives. Feeling guilty because somewhere deep in the back of my mind I was asking, “when am I gonna be the guy in the box?”

I and my rapidly dwindling friends became the object of those families hatred not for what we’d done, or how we lived, but because they couldn’t face their own shame and guilt over not being there for their sons, brothers, uncles, or nephews, at the time when Family would have meant everything.

Fuck you Anthony Fauci, and fuck your claim of PTSD too!

Guess what fucker? You need to Man up and stop your whining. Just like all of us had to do.

You’ll get no sympathy from me. You could be coughing up your lungs, flesh falling off your carcass screaming in agony, bleeding from every orifice, but not dying, and I’d call it long overdue justice. In fact, I’d be asking the Angel of Death to let you linger just a while more.

How DARE you try to play the PTSD card?

It’s not yours to play, I claim it.

I claim It for all those who, like me, survived. It’s our card, our history, our scars. We own it and we ain’t sharing.

I claim it in the names of all those who didn’t survive.

The only thing you can lay claim to Fauci, is the blood of thousands on your greedy, inept, hands.

Oh and by the way, you’ve learned nothing in 40 years. You’ve handled COVID exactly the same way you handled AIDS, you’ve just done it on a grander scale.

I’m sure Hell has a special place for you.

You know why this pissed me off so much?

It’s because now I have a hard time remembering all my friends faces as they were.

In the latter stages of AIDS, as they withered away, they all looked the same, like animated skeletons with eyes full of pain.

That St. Fauci of the Mask is why I dislike you so very much, and resent you whining about PTSD over the AIDS Crisis.

You always had your professional distance, you didn’t have to know anything about the sick and dying. They were just another faggot who was going to die, and they all looked alike to you. You didn’t give a shit about them.

I on the other hand knew them, and now feel like somehow I’ve betrayed them because I can’t clearly remember their faces anymore. There are simply too many.

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I’m just not that into it…

There was a time in the recent past when I, like many other Apple users waited on pins & needles for the next iOS, iPhone, iPad, MacOS or MacBook computer.

This last iPhone event left me feeling sort of meh.

iOS 15 is somewhat interesting but I’m in no great hurry to update. This is very unlike previous years.

The iPhone 13 Pro is nice, but not dazzling. I sorta like the pale ice blue color but since I use a case that isn’t really all that compelling. My iPhone 12 Pro is still quite serviceable and does what I want it to do.

I’ve currently got an Apple Watch series 5.

I thought that I’d upgrade to the watch 7. I originally got an Apple Watch Series 3, then upgraded to the 5 and thought a 2 year upgrade cycle would probably be reasonable. Looking at the Series 7, I see no compelling reason to upgrade. Okay, it’s got a bigger screen and what else does it get me?

Apple’s presentation was even Ho Hum, it was almost like Apple themselves was “phoning it in“. Every Apple event they’re gushing about how impressed they are with their own technology. How each product, “…is the most advanced Technology Apple has created…”

Every time they say that now, I fight not to say, “Duh” out loud.

I’m always way more interested when they compare their technology to the competition.

I find myself wondering why I wasn’t excited, or even disappointed with Apple this year. I’d have expected to feel something one way or the other, I just don’t.

Early iOS adoption statistics might be indicating that I may not be alone. I caught an article last week, (which I can’t find now,) that said the one week adoption rate for iOS 15 was substantially lower than for iOS 14 in the same period last year.

Why have I not updated? That’s simple, I dealt with bugs that messed my phone up on both iOS 13 & iOS 14. I decided that this time around I’d wait. But when you add the whole issue of the CSAM scanning and privacy issues that honestly feel like an about face for Apple…

Well, I guess it feels a bit like betrayal.

It’s akin to that feeling you have finding out your spouse is sleeping with someone else. When you find something like that out, you tend to get angry, then when you calm down, you start evaluating the choices available to you.

Divorce is messy and ends up hurting you as much as your spouse. That’s kind of the nuclear option.

Ignoring it and hoping it doesn’t happen again, is another option. Sometimes that works, but can you ever really trust them again? Do you find yourself questioning everything they say or do for the rest of your life?

Couples counseling is another option. But that only works if both parties are willing to realize that a) they’re in trouble, b) the relationship still means something, c) are willing to give it a go and mend fences.

To some extent, Apple has behaved like the spouse that was caught screwing around. They’ve quietly admitted that CSAM requires more work. Their decision to hold off on rolling it out feels like, “I’m sorry I got caught. I promise I won’t do that again.“

No spouse, ever totally believes that. The one saying it, knows that there will be an opportunity in the future that simply can’t be ignored. The one hearing it, knows this too.

(I’m specifically being gender neutral above, because I’ve seen women cheating on their husbands and men cheating on their wives. Interestingly, I’ve been the third wheel in both equations. Not really proud of that, it’s life, it just happens sometimes.)

I think right now, I’m personally at the “Ignoring it phase,” with Apple. I would consider the “Couples counseling,” phase. But I’m wondering if divorce from Apple is in the cards.

I have to wonder if this is the way a lot of Apple users are feeling. The article I mentioned, was trying to cover the lower adoption numbers by highlighting that unlike previous years Apple is going to be supporting iOS 14 and iOS 15 bug fixes concurrently. In the past when Apple released a new iOS they stopped development on the previous version.

This meant that there were no security patches or bug fixes for the older version and if you wanted to close those security holes, you had no choice but to upgrade the OS. This year is different. Apple has said they’ll continue the security patches indefinitely.

I’m sure that some of the upgrade hesitancy is due to this, but I seriously doubt that all of it can be explained away. This feels more like “coming home from somewhere you never should have been,” (Thank you Garth Brooks) and finding your pillow and some ratty blanket on the couch.

I’ll admit that pillow on the couch is way better than a confrontation in the driveway and a gun shot under cover of thunder in the distance. But it’s just as much a statement. (Yeah, I’ve gotten the pillow once or twice too.)

Right now, I’m giving Apple the pillow. We’ll have to see just how contrite they are, and how willing they are to keep my business going forward.

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Well now, Time for another week of Biden Follies

Please note, ‘biden’ is hereinafter defined as a “fuck-up of epic proportions.”

The beauty of this is “Biden” and “biden” are completely interchangeable.

Therefore, I can write this blog well in advance. (sort of like the media did for Trump’s mean tweets.) The President and his Democratic cronies will, without any doubt provide fodder for me to make fun of, over the weekend.

That’s the saddest thing about the people controlling the levers of power.

I can count on any or all of them to ‘biden’ it reliably.

It’s a pity they cannot be relied upon to actually do their jobs or be constructive in any way.

Last week we had all the noise about photos of border patrol riding horses and the way the photos appeared, made it look like the split reins were being used to “whip” illegals coming across the border.

Maxine Waters said, “It looked like slavery” (As if she would know…) Looks are not necessarily truth and the ignorance demonstrated by the politicians in Washington DC is astounding.

With very few exceptions, the members of Congress have never been within 1000 feet of a horse.

(This image is one that’s been peddled as horrific evidence that the border patrol was whipping an illegal. But if you really take a look at the image, the border patrol agent’s right hand is grabbing the illegals shirt. The rein is simply blowing in the wind, because that agent dropped the rein to grab the illegal.)

The shrill men & women claiming that the illegals were being whipped, are the same people who’d not have the sense to avoid horse shit with their Jimmy Chu’s or Ferragamo’s.

Cowgirl Barrel Racing At A Small Rodeo Arena

But once again, truth, or reality, mean nothing. So the biden administration is doing what it does best.

(Looking at the photos from the border, I was reminded of barrel racing. Here’s a photo of a woman getting ready to maliciously beat a barrel with her reins.

Ahem!)

Horse mounted border patrol agents are apparently going to be forbidden.

I’m sure that in the coming weeks there will be injuries to border patrol who have to walk the crowd, and there are sure to be more drownings of the illegals.

I say this because horses are flexible animals. A rider on a horse can, with relative safety walk the horse into a river and assist someone who is being swept downriver. ATVs can do some of this work, but not in 3 or 4 feet of water. From a horse, the rider can concentrate on helping someone, from an ATV not so much.

It’s obvious why too. The horse has a brain. The horse will move to better footing and maintain a position all by itself. Leaving the rider to throw a rope to someone if necessary.

Horses also have a bit of sense. When the rider tells a horse to move out of a river, or across rough terrain, the horse will pick a path that most often works. (Horses don’t like falling down any more than we do.) Which is probably why the border patrol agents chose horses over ATVs in the first place. It’s simple common sense, (a.k.a. Horse sense,) they chose the best method for the environment they operate in.

Once the horses are removed from the equation, and the injuries to both border patrol and illegals increase I’m sure we’re going to hear from Congress about how unacceptable it is that illegals are not being treated well. They’ll be remarkably silent about the border patrol officers that are laid up with injuries.

In that environment and rough terrain, I’d choose a horse.

As an aside, it’s been 50 years since I was on a horse. Horses and I don’t generally get along with each other.

I’d add one more reason for using a horse. If I got hurt, provided I could get on my horse, I know that even if I was unconscious the horse could take me back to the barn.

ATV’s aren’t nearly that smart.

We all know this political monster we’ve allowed to be created will remain silent and do nothing to help the border patrol. The evidence supports this assessment.

The current administration and our politicians will do anything to destroy our country.

In that task, they are devastatingly efficient.

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I rewatched Elysium the other night…

I’d seen the movie a while ago. It’s from 2013.

Matt Damon, Jodie Foster.

The first time I saw it, It was pure science fiction.

Now, well, it was unsettling to rewatch.

The premise is that the elites of the world live in a marvelous space station. They have the highest technology and medical devices that can instantly fix whatever ailment someone might have. The elites living on the space station live in opulent luxury and ease.

The folks left on Earth, not so much. That’s the set up.

It’s a typical underdog makes good despite the odds, scenario. Complete with an abusive supervisor and shitty worker safety. The movie depicts abusive police and parole officer robots and a criminal element that is generally criminal out of desperation, not any particular desire to commit crime.

The folks left on Earth are treated as if they’re unclean and generally left to squalor and hopelessness.

At the time the movie was made, It was probably a commentary on wealthy countries ignoring the poor.

Eight years later, with our current political situation, the movie has a somewhat different tone.

I’ve noticed that a lot of the older movies in my collection are changing. It’s not that the movie is being re-edited, it’s that my perspective is changing.

What was once escapist fantasy and easy to dismiss as unthinkable is becoming more thinkable, perhaps even possible.

GATTACA from 1997 springs to mind.

That movie was pure fantasy when it came out. Entry to workplaces and venues was restricted based on DNA “purity” testing. But watch it now with vaccine passports needed to enter certain venues or travel, and it’s suddenly not so fantastic.

There’ve been a number of references to Orwell’s 1984 but there are a lot of other science fiction stories & movies that are equally unsettling against the backdrop of events we’re living through.

The weird thing is that a lot of my personal collection deals with these themes. Okay, so perhaps I’m a sick puppy. Whatever!

I suppose it’s proof that whatever we as humans can imagine, we will be able to achieve.

Jules Verne in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea imagined a submarine that was powered by some mysterious power source.

We named the first nuclear submarine after Captain Nemo’s Nautilus. Verne had no knowledge nuclear power but he imagined a dangerous and unending power source.

Later, Forbidden Planet from 1956, explored the price of hubris.

The Krell, learned everything and then turned inward. They destroyed themselves in a single night accidentally, because they forgot about the darkness within their own souls.

Arthur C. Clark explored the human condition in many of his stories, I like his books, but I like his short stories more.

All these stories have at their core, kernels of much older stories. Human stories, from cultures across the planet.

Stories that at one time were teaching stories designed to instill values into whatever culture they existed in.

These stories explored right and wrong, good and evil, and I think we should listen to those ancient voices as much today.

We can and have modernized many of those stories but somehow the lessons contained in them don’t have the same impact in today’s society.

The notion that greed is a trap is explored in the story of King Midas and also in a Native American story of the eagle who became imprisoned by man because the eagle would not let go of a fish.

Two entirely different cultures separated by thousands of miles and years, and yet the message is the same. Greed leads to ruin.

We, Humanity, can no longer afford to allow hubris to blind us.

Our technology is marvelous and magical. A thousand years ago steel was the metal of the gods. Technology at any point in time is always the most advanced.

Human drives though, remain just as primitive as they were before we ventured out of the Olduvai Gorge in Africa.

I think it’s time for us to rediscover the stories our ancestors left us. There are lessons to be had, and enjoyment in learning those lessons.

Go grab a copy of Greek Tragedies. Look to Shakespeare, read Verne, or Clark, or Orwell, or rewatch any of the old movies in your library. Enjoy the entertainment and take a moment to consider the meaning behind the story.

Be warned, your pride might be bruised when you find that you’re different from your ancestors only due to your iPhone.