Category: Humor

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One Disaster at a time please!

Scnet beetlejuice 5408As of today, all disasters must take a number!

I’ll get to them in the order they occur and in my own damn time.

On the other hand, perhaps just ignoring them might be an option. In the case of sick relatives… Well, that will probably resolve itself on its own.

I know CostCo sells coffins, but do they have a family pack?

The past weeks have been eventful, and while I’m not complaining I sure could use a break.

The problem with aging and having aged parents is that with each passing day it’s ever more likely that something is going to happen where someone you care about someplace winds up in a hospital or the morgue.

In the last month I’ve learned that while I like tiled floors, cleaning blood out of grout is virtually impossible. So that scene in Scarface while memorable, is impractical with advanced forensics and DNA evidence. If you do a chainsaw murder make sure the area has nothing porous anywhere within the splatter zone. 

Not that I’m advocating bloody murders in anyway, it’s just that you’re going to get caught if you use a tile enclosure. Call that my criminal PSA for the year.

About a week after learning the lesson of grout. I was faced with the worst nightmare of anyone living a great distance from family. Death and hospitalization, not in that order… It wouldn’t make any sense to put someone who died in a hospital. What’s the point, right?

Most of my parents generation is in their 80s, many of them are single handedly keeping their local pharmacy open. With advancing age and infirmity comes the likelihood that someone is going to wake up one sunny morning dead. That’s happened in my family. Two days later another member was hospitalized. I’m waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop and taking care of the other half who’s been “off” for the better part of two months. Remember the grout? 

So the horns of dilemma are poking my bottom mercilessly. Do I stay on one coast to look after the other half, or do I head to the other coast to attend one funeral, visit another hospitalized family member and perhaps get back home only to go back to the opposite coast a month of two later.

Numerically speaking two events on the East Coast outweigh one event on the West. Excluding the deceased family member though, the numbers stack up even 1 to 1. Logic says take care of living people because the dead ones are beyond caring.

Over the last year I’ve seen way too much of hospitals, rehab clinics, and Emergency rooms. I hate them all.

So family, you’ve got a choice. Either all go to the same hospital / funeral home at the same time, OR schedule getting sick! In other words take a number and wait your turn!

Yes, yes, I realize that waking up dead is inconvenient and you’ll lose your Tee Time. But think about the rest of us having to clean up the mess. The squabbling, and infighting are awful. Outliers of the family skulking about trying to see if they can score a car or silverware. It is simply annoying and messy. The stress on the other old members of the family takes its toll too. The last thing anyone needs is one of them, already with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, getting a shove into the grave stressing out about your funeral.

So to my family members… Just stick around spend the children’s inheritance on hookers if you want.

Be polite. Be immortal, and make that 6AM Tee Time, maybe you’ll finally break 80. Given that your vision is failing, you’re all old, and no-one is going to say a word if you play someone else’s ball on the green. Just don’t wander off with another group of golfers while the rest of us are looking for the ball that you sliced into the water trap on an adjacent fairway. If it comes to it, I’d be willing to “mulligan” you right to the green if you’d just stick around.

Give it some thought.

Love you all.

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This is one definition of irony!

According to the Associated Press:

Mexico is using images and video of a Philadelphia Street to warn children in Mexico about the ills of drug abuse.

The actual article is linked below:

Mexico depicts Philadelphia street scenes in anti-drug ads

I’d laugh but this is so fucking sad, I almost can’t believe it. At first I thought it was a satire article from The Babylon Bee.

Unfortunately as is the often the case these days, much of what should be satire is entirely true.

The real kicker for me personally is that the folks from Philadelphia are more concerned that the videos and images of homeless drug addicts shambling around the city, may have been used without permission of the people appearing in them.

Uhh… Maybe you should be more concerned with the drug problem, crime, and violence in your city than whether the addicts gave their permission to be filmed. Odds are good that even if they’d given permission in exchange for their next fix, they wouldn’t remember it. 

Good God almighty! Where the hell are our priorities?

Here is the article for your convenience.

From The Associated Press

Mexico depicts Philadelphia street scenes in anti-drug ads

By MARK STEVENSON and MARYCLAIRE DALE
November 11, 2022

MEXICO CITY (AP) — The Mexican government is using video of homeless people and open-air drug users in Philadelphia’s embattled Kensington neighborhood in a national ad campaign to try to scare young people away from drugs.

The spots never identify the city or neighborhood shown. But just how or why the Mexican government decided to use street scenes from the U.S. to scare Mexicans — who have their own drug problems — is not clear. Critics say the ads recycle scare tactics about drugs rather than offer help or treatment.

Jesús Ramírez, the spokesman for President Andrés Manuel López Obrador, proudly presented the ad series Tuesday. But Ramírez did not respond to repeated requests for comment as to where the government got the Philadelphia videos or why they used them.

The use of the videos, apart from sparking concern over Philadelphia’s image, or whether those filmed had given their consent, raised questions, in part because Mexico is the source of most of the fentanyl being sold in the United States.

In one spot presented Tuesday entitled “Crystal” (meth), a Spanish-speaking narrator says, in a voice-over above scenes of drug users shaking or contorting along trash-strewn Kensington Avenue, “Crystal (meth) finishes you off quickly, it takes away hunger and tiredness and causes hallucinations and psychosis. It damages the body and mind.”

The Philadelphia Mayor’s Office acknowledged the drug problem but said it is not limited to one city or neighborhood, and noted that all people are capable of “hope, healing, and resilience.”

“The opioid and overdose crisis in Philadelphia is part of a national and even international epidemic, and we agree it is important for everyone to understand, as this video notes, that all street drugs now present an elevated risk of overdose because of fentanyl’s extreme prevalence,” a spokesperson for Mayor Jim Kenney said.

“Having said that, it is always hard to see our city’s people and neighborhoods portrayed in a limited and negative light. No neighborhood, and no person, should be defined by this tragic and widespread crisis,” they said.

Philadelphia is debating solutions to the overdose crisis — Kenney supports proposals for supervised injection sites — while the number of overdose deaths continues to climb, reaching 1,276 deaths last year.

Another Mexican spot depicts scenes of drug users or homeless people slumped or standing unsteadily in Kensington, which can be identified by transit signs in the videos.

“Now the narcos are adding fentanyl to hook you from the first time you use. Fentanyl kills,” the narrator says in Spanish. “It is 50 times more potent than heroin. Two hundred people die every day from using it. Don’t risk it!”

However fentanyl use remains relatively low in Mexico — almost all is exported to the United States — while there are plenty of meth and crack users.

Only one of the government anti-drug ads — one focusing on glue-sniffing — used recognizably Mexican street footage. Other scenes show people wearing sweatshirts that say “California” and “Barcelona.”

“These are terrible ads; they’re truly terrible,” said Mexico security analyst Alejandro Hope. “They are badly thought out, badly produced, and they are the result of bad public policy. There is no public health message there.”

Instead of offering help, hotlines, advice or treatment options — which in the public sector are almost non-existent in Mexico — Hope said they repeated the most aggressive U.S. drug-scare tactics of the 1980s.

“I don’t think these ads are aimed at users, at youths at risk,” said Hope. “I think these are aimed at a wider and much more conservative audience that viscerally rejects any kind of drug use and whose moral buttons you want to push, to generate a moral terror.”

López Obrador, while he projects himself as a leftist, has actually been “deeply conservative” on issues like drugs, abortion, the family and women’s rights, Hope said.

Quetcy Lozada, elected Tuesday to represent the Philadelphia City Council district that includes Kensington, said the area includes many hard-working families who want to stay and make things better. But the ads and frequent media attention only draw more users and curiosity-seekers to the streets — and more problems, she said.

“Philadelphia has so many amazing places and so many amazing people, it embarrasses me that this is the type of footage that is being used,” Lozada said. “(It’s) just not acceptable.”

In a TV ad entitled “Crack,” the narrator says, in a voice-over with street scenes in Kensington. “Taking crack cocaine damages your brain and heart and causes anxiety and paranoia.” The ad quickly segues into scenes of homeless people, apparently filmed at a nearby park.

Kelly Garant, a peer care coordinator in Philadelphia for a nonprofit organization, helps people struggling with addiction, as she once did, get medical and other services.

“They are actually in a state of crisis, and to be exploited when they’re that vulnerable, it’s just not acceptable,” Garant said. “You don’t know whose mother or father or brother that is.”

Years from now, she said, they may have their lives back on track, but the images could still be out there — for their children, friends and work colleagues to see.

Addiction, she said, “doesn’t discriminate.” It’s just less visible in other neighborhoods.

“In other parts of the city, people overdose in their homes,” she noted. “If they’re talking about anti-drug campaigns, there are people doing drugs inside their homes and we can’t get to them.”

___

Dale reported from Philadelphia

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Disadvantage of being out of a city

Well, there are actually remarkably few. The trouble is, when something happens it’s “big” and a royal pain in the butt.

It’s a disadvantage to be so far from shopping centers if you need or want something. Even the nearest Home Depot is 30 minutes away. The Lowes is 45 minutes away.

It’s tough to find people to do work on the house, especially people that know what they’re doing in this particular climate. For their additional knowledge, they’re more expensive. Meh, that’s how capitalism is supposed to work.

The biggest issue, is the septic tank. Sigh, it looks like that’s going to be the Thanksgiving and Christmas expense this year. 

(As an aside, I admire this picture of a septic tank and the model doing her level best to make it look at least a little sexy. Good Job! To the model and the company, thanks for making me smile about it.)

44510 750 Side Image 1024x768 2885845250

My septic tank is old. Really old. When the house was rebuilt in 2008, the builder didn’t think about replacing the tank at that time. I guess there was no real need, so why would the lazy jackass do something proactive?

The house was originally built in 1992 presumably that’s when the septic system was installed. At the time the house burned and was rebuilt, the septic system was 16 years old. The system wasn’t in use for a year while the house was rebuilt, but the tank itself is iron and rust never sleeps.

So here we are with a septic system that is 30 years old, and it’s failing. The tank was pumped out about a year and a half ago and at the time the guys said it should be replaced. I decided to wait because I was unemployed and didn’t have 7K to toss at that bill. That decision was at the time against my better judgement because I like to stay out ahead of maintaining things if possible. However given the circumstances it was a viable decision, even if it wasn’t the preferred one.

I suppose this is why the solar panels have been a thorn in my side. They represent an investment that will likely pay off over the next few years or at least break even. (Even though they still haven’t produced one usable KW of energy yet, Thanks Edison!) Even as the other half was wanting to move forward with the panels, I was asking, “What about the septic system?” Warm summer days would have been an opportune time to have that taken care of, in preparation for the Winter.

To be fair, installation of the solar panels had a defined expiration date. If we’d waited any longer, we wouldn’t have be eligible to lock Edison into paying us a fair price for the excess power we generated. The septic system was a ticking time bomb with no precise date of expiration. 

Hey, you put your money on the table and roll the dice! Sometimes you roll a winner, and sometimes you crap out.

(Yes I used that analogy with intent.)

Well, the septic system has, (oh hell I can’t resist,) crapped out. Fortunately, the weather is fairly mild and we have no winter storms in the forecast for at least a week or two. That means that the replacement can go ahead without fighting a foot of snow. Unfortunately, It’s not known due to the supply chain issues and all of that when we can get a new tank put in.

Additionally, with the insanity of gas prices and the cost of diesel, it’s gonna cost more. Yeah, the excessively high diesel prices will affect the cost. Figure it’s gonna cost more for the pump truck to come up the mountain, and the truck to bring a new tank up, the backhoe to dig out the old tank, the long distance transport of the tank from where ever it’s manufactured etc, etc.

This is one of those few times when I wish I lived in a city. If I did, I’d be connected to s sewer system and wouldn’t have to worry about much other than the cost of a plumber to occasionally snake the main pipes that lead to the sewer.

Ah well, we’ll be paying for this for a long assed time. Especially when you consider the interest rates on credit cards. 

These are all the things I was thinking while outside digging a cat hole to bury some waste that had been expelled from the pressure relief pipe at the front of the house. At least the plants next to the hole will be well fertilized come Springtime.

A plumber is coming up today he’s going to see if there’s some blockage. (it’s possible, not likely, but possible). I’ve also got calls in to a couple of different septic tank folks. I’m hoping we can have the existing one pumped out, maybe Wednesday. That should get us through Thanksgiving. Today I’m taking the water softener offline, which will reduce the amount of waste water going into the system. My hope is that we will not have to decamp to a hotel waiting for the tank to be replaced. The dog is the issue there. He freaks out in closed rooms.

Once I get a schedule for the tank being replaced, I’m going to be digging up the sprinkler system. Me & my trenching tool got some work to do. Yes, the sprinkler line crosses the yard in such a way that when the backhoe gets here it’s gonna tear up that line, if I don’t expose it, and remove it. I’m figuring that I’ll cut that section out, set it aside then temporarily cap the loose end. Come Springtime, I’ll finish the repair and reset the line and sprinkler heads.

Nothing living in the mountains is ever easy or straight forward. On the plus side, at least my knees may be completely up to the challenge by then. In a strange way I kinda look forward to being a shirtless redneck with a shovel sweating my ass off in the sun. I do not look forward to being a freezing redneck bundled up in 30° weather digging up the sprinkler line in the coming weeks, but you play the hand left deals ya.

I suppose I could have a portapotty delivered. Now that’s super redneck! Bundling up in the middle of the night to go take a leak really takes me back to my roots. Showers would be a problem in that case, but I suppose I could go out to the truck stop nearby and rent a shower there.

All I can say is Happy Thanksgiving.

Update: Well, it looks like the problem was some kind of blockage going from the house to the septic system. The plumber who is a godsend cleared it in about 10 minutes. There’s a reason we’ve been using this particular plumber for years. He’s on time, (calls with an updated ETA, if he gets stuck on a job,) has fair prices and does great work.

The ticking time bomb of the septic system ticks on, but at least we can plan for that expense instead of having to do it as an emergency.

So that’s what I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving. 

Whew, dodged a bullet for now, here’s hoping that things hold together until Spring. It will just be a lot more convenient to deal with this when it’s warmer.

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The moment I saw the word, I knew this would happen

The word is PureBlood.

This is a term that some unvaccinated people are using to identify themselves. These folks are specifically referring to the COVID vaccine and while they’re probably vaccinated against other common childhood illnesses they’re drawing the line at the mRNA vaccines.

In a way it makes sense. Unvaccinated people were demonized as pariahs. Many of them lost their jobs, some of their children are being denied the opportunity to attend school (in person or via remote learning), our military is still dismissing trained soldiers who have requested and been denied religious exemption. Latest reports I’ve read, put the number of unvaccinated at a little north of 30% of the population.

The story of the COVID vaccine has shifted over the past 2 years. First it was, “you won’t get sick,” then the storyline morphed into, “you won’t get as sick”. The story in the beginning was that if you got vaccinated you’d not spread COVID, now data is suggesting that you can still spread it and that may be worse because you might be asymptomatic. Therefore spreading it unknowingly, although this is no different from unvaccinated people who are asymptomatic so that’s probably a wash.

The shifting winds of the efficacy and repeated boosters have not lent a lot of credence to the narrative presented by the powers that be.

President Biden said COVID was a pandemic of the unvaccinated. Then went off and got COVID after being quadruple vaccinated. It’s interesting to note that President Biden’s entire Presidency seems to have been about identifying and then demonizing “The Other”. First it was the unvaccinated, now it’s MAGA.

Fauci suffered the same embarrassment over vaccinations, He still got COVID, and later suffered a Paxlovid rebound.

Through it all there were people that chose not to get the vaccine. For some, it was a matter of religion, for others it was a matter of their particular biology which resulted in the vaccine being contraindicated. Still others had COVID early on and saw no need to be vaccinated against something they’d already had and survived. Others just didn’t trust the government and their mistrust only grew as the government brought force and shame to bear.

But one aspect has been fairly constant. Demonization. The unvaccinated were “Dirty”, “Unpatriotic”, “Selfish”, and “AntiSocial”. There were media pundits that suggested putting the unvaccinated into camps.

None of this would engender compliance for people who made their own decisions and were willing to live with the consequences.

Some of the unvaccinated believe that the mRNA vaccines will cause long term health issues and reproductive harm. Fauci himself admitted in an interview that abnormal bleeding and irregular menstruation, post vaccine, needed further study.

It seems that a lot of the unvaccinated also believe that the vaccines alter the DNA of the person. I’ve seen interesting justifications both pro and con in this stance. I don’t have sufficient information about genetics or the interaction of RNA / DNA to comment nor is there any need for the purposes of this post.

The point is, PureBlood is being used to describe in a broad sense unvaccinated folks. The unvaxed are owning it instead of covering it up. Now they’re making dating and mating choices based on their status.

There are PureBlood dating sites. 

In a way it makes sense. If you’re a PureBlood and you believe that reproductive harm is caused by COVID Vaccines, then you’d want to date and perhaps marry another PureBlood in order to insure that your children had the best shot at a healthy life without genetic abnormalities.

The added benefit is that you’re more likely to share similar political or religious beliefs.

Lots of people on the internet are sneering and making nasty comments about these sites. Why they’d bother? I have no idea. The unvaccinated are probably not going to be interested in them, and they’re not going to be interested in the unvaccinated. But the internet at large seems to NEED to find fault.

For the unvaccinated, it’s just more of the same.

Some of the younger unvaccinated males have made interesting responses. The best was a guy responding to a particularly nasty thread saying, “Don’t worry ladies, my sperm will only cost you 10K a vial when your man finds out he’s sterile and you want a kid. You have no worries that I’d ever put my dick in your diseased cooch!”

I read that, and blew water out my nose. (I should learn not to drink when I’m scanning comment threads.)

The responses from some of the nastier women were very unladylike. Most were generally along the lines of, “In your dreams you racist, misogynist, transphobic, homophobic, piece of shit, better the species die out than have to carry your seed in my belly”

His response was, “Yeah remember that when you’re begging to jerk me off.”

Funny thing to me, (aside from his responses,) is that so many really nasty women put in the time to search for the site, and then took the time to raise a vitriolic stink by writing comments. They could have done what a lot of “Normal” people do, not bothered!

As I was reading about these sites, and there are a growing number, I wondered how long it would be before small enclaves started. This could be the seeds for the next Waco or Ruby Ridge type commune. 

A lot of the unvaccinated seem to think that the vaccinated will die off. I’m not sure where that belief comes from. There are statistics from other countries that suggest a higher than usual mortality due to all causes over the past two years. The numbers seem to be increasing.

I think that this is probably due to people not getting in to their doctors for routine checkups. By the time folks did get to the doctor, things had progressed too far to be stopped. In other words, I think the unvaccinated folks belief may be due to coincidence instead of provable fact.

Again, I’m not a doctor, biochemist, virologist, or anything in the medical field so this is just my opinion.

It struck me that this is how religions and / or cults get started.

Viktor

I wonder if the President’s next speech will attempt to demonize white supremacist PureBloods.

I have to admit, hearing something like, “The PureBloods are dangerous to us all, they’re evil!” has a lot sexier ring to it.

With a little PR I’ll bet you could make PureBloods out to be practitioners of blood rituals and satanic rites aimed at the destruction of democracy.

I probably shouldn’t give the spin doctors any ideas…

After all, I too am a PureBlood.

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So I’ve been looking at Fascist Clothing…

Hey, those SS uniforms really looked sharp.

NAZI Fashion

Why not? As a white, CIS, conservative leaning, male, I’m already suspect.

According to the media and to some extent The President I’m already a bad guy.

I’m white – OH NO!!!!
 – I don’t have my requisite KKK uniform. Designer sheets just don’t cut it. The Brothers in the Klan don’t think pretty little flowers are appropriate. I also have not had myself pilloried in the public square so that I may renounce my whiteness, and have no intention to do so.

I’m CIS – Oh My God! 
– I’ve never felt the need to be other than a male and I’m pretty happy with my tackle. In this day that too, is apparently some sign of deep psychosis.

I’m conservative learning – Oh SHIT! 
– Just because I want smaller government, a balanced budget, responsible spending, lower taxes, and our leaders to do their jobs for all of the nation, I’m likely to be on some list somewhere.

I’m a male with no need to declare my pronouns – DAMN! God must really hate me.
– I’ve really tried to contain my toxicity, but there’s nothing to be done. By definition I must be a misogynist and therefore a threat to every single woman anywhere within a 50 mile radius.

Now I’m a fascist too.

Damn, I just can’t catch a break.

There may be a silver lining. Since I’m already guilty of all these terrible things, with no hope of redemption, I’m free.

I’m free to step on toes, free to speak my mind, free of walking on egg shells around people.

Because it just doesn’t matter anymore. I no longer have any need to “BE GOOD”. Now for the first time since I can remember I can just fucking relax.

The only way to win this game we’ve been sucked into… Is not to play.

I can go out without a mask, I can purchase guns, and ammunition. I can drive my gas car and maybe I’ll buy myself a gas powered truck too. Heck, I might load my car up with trash and drive down the freeway tossing it out the window. Forget about me separating recycle from household trash!

I’m free to catcall a woman or man, I’m free to use the “N” word or any other racist epithet as much as I want to. I can smoke, drink, fuck, eat red meat, or whatever the hell else I want to do because nothing I do trying to be a good guy matters.

If someone drops on the street due to a heart attack, I can ask what their political affiliation is. If they’re not my party… Sorry dude, you’re gonna die. I’ll skip away happily, after all I don’t want to trouble someone from the other party’s conscience. Imagine the everlasting horror they’d have to carry were I to save their life.

Given all this, I thought, “Hey those Nazi uniforms made the guys wearing them look really sharp.”

So I’m looking for a supplier.

Why bother looking like everyone else? Anyone seeing me on the street will know to avoid me for any or all of the aforementioned irrevocable personality defects. 

Oh… Look there’s a good price on “wife beater” undershirts!

Yes, I’m being sarcastic but there is a kernel of truth here.

When you continuously demonize a select group of people, they’re left with only one choice. Become exactly what they’re expected to be. They’ve already PAID the price over and over again. Why bother trying to change people’s perception?

Wasn’t this the justification put forth by liberals in the 70’s & 80’s to explain the higher crime rates, and justify spending more money in inner city black neighborhoods?

Just asking…