Sick & tired of the News…

I’ve been enjoying the sound of the recent rain on the roof and haven’t paid attention to the news, or turned on much of anything that makes noise.

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I’m suspecting that I may have had a light touch of the flu but I’m not sure. This morning I’m feeling better.

I did however, make the mistake of switching on the news. 

Nothing is different!

I swear it’s like the world paused the bullshit just so that I could be offended by it when I decided to pay attention again.

I wish that was the case… I know in reality that the bullshit keeps coming at a more or less constant pace. The news is like a soap opera… You can miss years and still know exactly what’s going on, because human nature is a constant as hydrogen fusion in stars.

Have you ever noticed that riots pretty much look the same? Really, check it out, tell Google you want to see only images then type riots.

Regardless of time or place, they all look the same, even the drawings of riots look the same.

The news is always the same… In broad strokes I think the news template is something like this;

Somewhere people are rioting and burning buildings because they’re unhappy about something.

Somewhere else someones military is shooting rebels, insurgents, dissidents, students, or another army.

A disaster or two have happened someplace else, hundreds or thousands of people are displaced, famine and disease looms in the not too distant future.

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Politicians from group A are condemning politicians from group B for failing to act or disagreeing with their position.

Somewhere somebody’s children were in danger, are in danger, have been saved from danger.

There’s been another car chase that ended, with a crash, or with an arrest, or with a shooting, or with a tasering. Or jackpot… all of the above…

And now the weather…

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Being a fan of TrueBlood, the scene where the vampire Russell Edgington rips a newscasters spine out, then tells the public that he’s the real face of vampires and describes in gruesome detail what vampires are going to do to humans is one of my favorite scenes for a number of reasons.

When he turns to another camera and in a lovely Southern accent and with a happy smile, says “Now time for the weather… Tiffany…”

I howl every time I see it. The whole scene is priceless and some damn good writing.

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It’s also a very sad comment on our news cycle.

That scene lasts a minute or so, but it’s exactly what watching the news is like.

Think about it, the news is 30 to 60 minutes of real blood, violence, hatred, and despair, followed by the weather presented by some airhead blond with perfect tits and a million dollar smile telling you it’s going to be sunny and warm tomorrow. And somehow knowing it’s going to be sunny and warm makes the preceding horror just fine.

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We all know that the weather is always at the end of a news segment. Did you ever wonder why? 

I’ve come to the conclusion that weather is all we really care about.  

It’s the most immediate thing that we have to deal with.

If the weather was first in any newscast I’d tune in for that, and turn the TV off once I knew if I was going to need my umbrella.

I can’t do shit about riots in another country. Nor can I control the earthquake, volcano, hurricane, or monsoonal flooding in another country. I’m sorry folks there are having problems but there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

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As far as car chases… I’m reminded of the old Keystone cops shorts.

Do I need to see 6 hours of live aerial coverage where 4 police cars are following one piece of shit 30 year old Toyota that can’t get above 50MPH? Or god forbid a white Bronco?

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I swear on more than one occasion I’ve thought about Mad Maxing my truck and just T-Boning the hell out of the dumbass running from the cops.

I imagine that afterward, I’d drive home and get back to watching the football game that was interrupted for the car chase.

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Or watch Tiffany’s perfect tits jiggle across my local weather map.

Maybe I need to go back to bed… I think I’m a little grumpier than I should be.

On the other hand… 

A few episodes of TrueBlood might just make me a happy camper.

Really? This is an issue?

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Over the past several days, I’ve noticed the press slowly picking up and more breathlessly repeating the story that Prince Harry said that he has killed Taliban in Afghanistan.

Let me see,

He’s serving in his nations military — Check!

He’s in a gunship — Check!

He’s in a war zone — Check!

He’s being shot at — Check!

In my book…

It goes without saying that he’s killed some Taliban. The question shouldn’t have even been asked. It was probably asked by some asinine reporter looking for something sensationalist. Problem is this isn’t sensational it’s a grim reality of war.

People die. 

Prince Harry is doing his job, which is to take orders from his commanding officers, and to protect his crew if that means opening up with a 30mm chain gun on a pissant Taliban fuck so be it.

What answer would you expect?

Do you suppose the troops in war zones have been planting posies? That somehow RPG and AK-47 fire magically turns into rainbows and happy fairy sprinkles?

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Prince Harry answered the question. Now he’s being criticized for answering the question.

Had he evaded answering the question he’d have been criticized for evasion.

The man was damned either way and like most men backed into a corner by slimy scum bags (in this case liberal reporters) he decided to answer 100% truthfully. After all with the truth, you don’t have to remember what lie you told which person.

I say good for Prince Harry. I’m glad he’s doing his job and not getting much in the way of “Special” treatment. In future, he may be more connected with the common man and will be in a position to suggest or represent the common mans interests back home.

Aside from his mother not being terribly happy about him being in the military, (name a Mom who is happy about her children being in harms way) I personally think that the young prince is a good man.

His mother shows through in all the best ways. In general, I imagine she’d be proud of both her boys.

I guess the article pissed me off because of the fucked up connections that the writer and then the Afghan and Taliban leaders made.

I suppose I can perhaps excuse Hamid Karzai and the Taliban leader Zabihullah Mujahid for not knowing what a PlayStation or Xbox is.

After all they still think fire is the magic of the gods.

You need to have electricity to use a PlayStation. Most of Afghanistan is barely into the stone-age just slightly above flinging their excrement at each other…

Prince Harry making the comparison to his childhood game controls is completely logical.

After all if you make a sophisticated high tech weapon system similar to a familiar game interface then you don’t have to waste a lot of time training your soldiers how to use the weapon. It save time, money, and minimizes practice time.

But that doesn’t mean that the Prince was referring to the war as “Fun”. Unfortunately that’s the spin Harry’s comment is being given.

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Hamid Karzai is concerned about troop withdrawals. Others are concerned about the erosion of relations between the troops and locals…

Correct me if I’m wrong here, but isn’t this a problem in Afghanistan already?

Don’t we have the locals and our troops stationed in separate areas because of friendly fire incidents?

Isn’t this the place where “Friendlies”  walk in to cafeterias and blow themselves up or shoot men they’ve spent months or years training with, working with, and living with? 

I’d say that the relations are already well and truly fucked up. I’m all for getting our people the hell out of the place and letting the locals cannibalize each other if they wish.

We have the asshole Taliban guy Zabihullah Mujahid calling the Prince a NewImagecoward for “speaking when he was out of harms way… “

Uh yeah, dumbass. The interview was done while Harry was on duty in your shit hole country. Oh by the way, when was the last time you poked your head out of a cave?

Why the fuck do we even know what you think? I’d suspect that most of us couldn’t give a crap less.

Then there’s the Peacenik Lindsey German of the “Stop the war coalition” asking how the Prince knows the people he killed were Taliban.

Well Lindsey… the Prince probably had a fairly good idea when the people on the ground were shooting at his helicopter.

In my reality someone shooting at me is an enemy… I’m not going to take the time before I shoot back to ask for confirmation of their political or religious affiliation. You Lindsey are perfectly welcome to go talk to the people shooting at you if you’d like. 

Hey before you go… let me put this pretty vest on you. Uh no, Lindsey it’s not body armor It’s 30 lbs of C-4 explosive. Here, hold this button down while you’re talking to those very angry people waving the guns at you…

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So that Lindsey, has some ability to sleep at night… Let me offer this logic to you.

You’re in a helicopter

You’re flying over Taliban occupied territory

People on the ground are shooting at you (Or flinging poo)

ergo

They are in all likelihood Taliban… in deed if not in actual political/religious affiliation.

Which means… It’s perfectly acceptable to squeeze the trigger on that shiny 30mm chain gun until the people on the ground stop shooting! 

It’s completely ridiculous to ask or publish a question asking how the Prince knew they were Taliban.


I’m all for leaving the Afghans and for that matter the whole stinking shithole known as the Middle East squarely in the middle of the stone-age.

Their belief structures are a threat. They are a prime example of religion retarding human development and their civilizations (such as they are) are examples of retrograde development.

Yeah, I have no pity, sympathy, or concern for those people. I’m for complete isolation of the area.

Quarantine it, let the infection of their religion of hate burn itself out.

Call the Middle East the Spanish Influenza of thought processes.

Quarantine the area and wait a 100 years or so for them to quit twitching. Maybe then you nuke ’em from orbit just to make sure…

We don’t have to be nice to our enemies.

Let’s stop deluding ourselves, no matter what we do in the Middle East we will never be liked.

The best we can hope for is that the people there understand death comes on swift wings if you screw with the west.

Sales People!

Recently I was looking at extending my education as a means to enhance my NewImageemployment odds.

I ran across a number of online colleges and almost all of them feel like sleazy internet salesmen.

Why should I have to give you my email address, name, phone number etc JUST to look at your course offerings?

One college in particular has been blanketing the local airwaves here as a Technological college designed for people just like me…

You know, folks that have been in the game for a very long time and who might be considering a change in their career. 

This college is one of the worst. in terms of their web site. You navigate to their site using a standard computer and browser, you really can’t get any useful information about the classes offered without requesting that they contact you to discuss your future college career. (Unless you make alterations to your browser)

Accessing the site via an iPad however gives you access to all the information about the classes offered, tuition, and you can even download the course catalog. 

Since this college is trying to position itself as an online presence aimed at serving business people who wish to polish their skills or change careers, I’d recommend that the web site be a little less cagey.

Business people in general have little patience for games when they’re trying to NewImagedecide how they want to spend their money.

That’s why I buy cars from fleet managers. I’m really a simple guy when it comes to buying… well ANYTHING.

Tell me how much… I’ll decide if it’s worth it and if I can afford it… If the answer is yes, I’ll write the check. If it’s not then we’re done and I’m not going to waste your time.

Now if your sales force is really wanting to jack me off or suck my dick I’m down for that but it’s not going to change my mind about buying your product. Hell, I’ll even provide the tissue if needed.

You should know, I prefer swallowers…

What a racket!!!!

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Ok this is a rant. It’s probably not very coherent but I’m madder than hell!

I live in a recently rebuilt house. That means that I now meet the Kalifornia standards for new construction. You’d think that would be a good thing wouldn’t you?

Well it’s not!

Because of California code, I had to add more overhead lights to save energy…

Don’t ask… someone seemed to think that if you had nasty assed fluorescent lighting in the ceiling you’d be less likely to have actual lamps in your house, BOY WERE THEY WRONG!

The builder fought me about putting skylights in the bathrooms because the building inspector “Might” not like them. GO Figure!

I still don’t get that.. I was trying to be energy efficient and they fought me tooth and nail even when I asked why there had to be x number of fluorescent light fixtures in the house, when fewer fixtures obviously translated to lower building and lower overall energy costs. the answer as it turns out was… It’s the law. (Re: those nasty assed fluorescent lights… If I keep this house I’m ripping those things out and replacing them with LEDs.)

Add to this,  I also by law have to have a fire suppression system, and basically the hands of our Komrad Kalifornians are well and truly up my ass with no lubrication.

The previous house had a fire suppression system too.

Every year I dutifully had the system inspected and certified pursuant to the law referenced here .

It is completely arguable that the fire suppression systems FAILURE was entirely due to these annual inspections.

See a few years back, when my house had burned, I came under suspicion because the fire inspector found the fire suppression was actually turned off.

Yep, I’d paid for inspections and maintenance which left my home with a NON-Working suppression system. Fanfuckingtastic!

The water company sends out these notices yearly about having your system inspected.

I’m frankly at odds about the whole thing. Given my personal experience… I wish I didn’t have a sprinkler system. After all it’s just another useless yearly expense and maintenance hassle because I own a home.

Truth to tell, I’d rather have a house without a fire suppression system. It’s like living under a loaded gun.

I can’t tell you how many homes up here have suffered water damage because the fire suppression system malfunctioned or the pipes froze. Well, I can tell you about my next door neighbor…

But when you don’t have your shit inspected exactly on time the water company sneaks up on your doorstep and hangs a little bullshit tag on your door. They threaten to turn your water off if you don’t have the inspection.

Say what????

Ok so lets get this straight, you’re going to turn my fucking water off, to force me to have a fire suppression system inspected, a system that REQUIRES WATER to operate?

These MORONS are essentially going to disable a fire suppression system to force me to have an inspection???

Where the hell is the sense in that? I pay my fucking water bill every month, I’m never late, I don’t even raise my voice when I get bills from them that say (1) I’m late, and (2) I’m 6 months behind! When I call them, they call up the account and say, “Isn’t that strange, your bill is paid and has been for the past year. This is a billing error I’ll notify accounting.

And yet the California Department of Forestry and Fire protection forces new homes to have these systems, then they force the homeowners to pay every year to inspect and maintain them.  There’re penalties for disabling the system too. Prison time for example.

Humm, I wonder if I could have the asshole arrested who turns my water off?

By definition that person is disabling a fire suppression system. Now there’s a thought!!!

And the insults go on.

Recently, the State sent out a notice that they were going to start billing those of us who lived in rural settings an additional $150 to $200 per year to pay for the additional fire support. Excuse ME??? What about my taxes? What about the fact that my Fire department is paid for BY the County?

Oh and there is no-one more attuned to the issues of Fire safety than the people in the mountain communities. WHY? Because in the past we’ve seen these communities burn to the ground.

Sadly those fires were entirely preventable but the “Smart guys” at the State level refused to listen when these communities suggested that the fire threat could be mitigated simply and efficiently. The solution was start clearing the sick, dying, & dead trees out of the forests. 

Well the smart guys in Sacramento told everyone they were stupid for making such a suggestion.

Then there was the Arrowhead fire. Nature cleared the sick, dying, and dead trees for us. 

The communities that fared better were those where the people had paid out of their own pockets or their community coffers to remove the hazard. Sacramento got all up & arms because these communities had cut trees that were in some cases inside a national forest. Cuttng dead and dying trees in a national forest is bad… even if the State or federal government won’t allocate the funds to take the preventative steps themselves. But they’ll pay a fortune in fire fighters and risk lives and property when the fire breaks out.

It was all about Sacramento having the last word and refusing to admit that the locals actually knew what they were doing.

It’s statist crap. The government always claims it knows better than YOU do.

I’m sick and of Nanny governing!

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I’m also sick and tired of the Golden State Water Company. There is the particular person who delivers these notices. He likes to sneak up on your porch and hang the notice in hopes that he can escape without having to deal with an angry person.

I’ve been trying for at least 2 months to get this inspection done mainly because I don’t want to have to deal with the hassle and bullshit. It’s just really difficult to find a certified inspector that will haul their asses up here. 

In my opinion the fucking water company should be doing it FREE! After all they claim that they’re protecting the water supply from the antifreeze in the system. You’d think it would be in their best interests to deal with it. But no… 

It’s an opportunity to have the plumbers with the right certifications come out to your house, charge you $150 for the house call and potentially leave your system off. I come from a place that says “If it ain’t broke… don’t fix it”

I’m really starting to believe it’s time to leave.

More and more lately I find myself thinking about just putting this place on the market and leaving this town, this state, and I swear… Even this country.

Hell, I seriously doubt that there much difference between living in California and oh say any EU country in terms of the regulations and controls the average citizen has to deal with.

I want to be free! I thought I lived in a free country… I suppose the only places that are truly not under the government thumb are the “Flyover States”. Of course that’s only because the snooty fuckers that like to impose their will on everyone else know better than to get too far from the city.

Well 20 years ago when I moved to this town… I was far enough away from the city that we lived pretty much according to our own thoughts and as long as we didn’t hurt anybody everyone pretty much minded their own business.

Now, I guess it’s time to move on… It’s a real pain to say ahead of people who are “smarter and know” more about my life than I do.

Now wheres’ that map of the “Fly Over” states?

Riddle me This?

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A recent report from Bloomberg reports that Oil Prices (Meaning Crude Trading) is currently at a Two month low, and that as the US output has risen, the Demand has eased.

So Why are we still seeing gas prices that are 4.99 for a gallon of regular?

Really?

The oil futures and price per barrel jumps if there’s the slightest change in the breeze, or a Congressman farts. Driving the cost of a gallon of gas up…

So why isn’t the converse true? More supply means that the cost of gas shouldn’t be as high, isn’t that economics 101?

This leads me to think, contrary to what the Oil Companies have reported for years… Gas prices are directly tied to the cost of crude and the anticipated supply that there’s really a far more insidious conspiracy of artificial controls actually keeping the gas prices up.

Lets see…

Obviously, Obscene Profits are a huge motivator.

Keeping fuel prices artificially high would play out nicely for Corporate America in an election year, since fuel / transportation prices directly affect every aspect of the economy.

Think about it, If a cabal of American or International businesses were to decide that they didn’t want a particular President in office, one way to get that president out of office would be to strangle an already weak economy.

When the preferred candidate was elected, then fuel prices drop and the economy spins up again. People go back to work, new jobs are suddenly created and voila… The new President has turned things around!

I don’t know if this line of reasoning is anything but a trip down conspiracy lane… but I do think that EVERY American should remember that regardless of what the press tells us, and regardless of what the Oil companies tell us…

There is no direct causal link between the cost of a barrel of crude, and the cost of gasoline at the pump… At least not anymore.

When the Oil Barons are testifying before congress and poor mouthing that they have no control over the prices of fuel, I pray to GOD that at least one congressional committee member has the balls to stand up and call BULLSHIT right to the Oil Executives faces on CSPAN!

What would be even better would be if the Oil Executives were clapped in Irons and dragged out of the hearing chambers for lying to congress.

Hell I’d PAY to see that!

Occupy Wall Street should be Occupy EXXON, British Petroleum, Atlantic Richfield, ConocoPhillips, and all the other bastard Oil companies as well as Wall Street futures traders…