Category: Rants

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And Once again Verizon demonstrates…

Why so very many people hate them!

Internet goes down. 

Modem says problem Bad & at their end.

Call Verizon.

35 minutes of screwing around with their stinking voice obfuscation system which is all the while telling me that I can resolve my problems by visiting them on the web at www.verizon.com. 

To which I say If I could visit you at www.verizon.com I’d sign up FOR THE CARRIER providing me with the ability TO visit www.verizon.com.

Then I finally get to some female in god knows where but based on the static and her accent I’d bet she was in India somewhere. I ask her a simple question. “Is there a service problem in my area?” All I needed was a simple “Yes / No / I don’t know let me check”.

Instead we went down the rabbit hole which is all too common these days.

“What is your operating system?” – I’ve gotten in the habit of simply telling them UNIX. It’s true and then we don’t have to deal with the bullshit Windows questions.

“What is the Model of the modem you’re using?” – It’s a Netgear ADSL2+ DM111PSPv2

“Do you have a Verizon Modem?” – Nope, the one you sent me died and I didn’t feel like waiting 2 weeks for you to get ’round to sending me a new one so I bought this one a year & a half ago and it’s been working just fine since I installed it.

“Can you connect your computer directly to the modem?” – Uh NOPE, I’m not going to tear all my wiring out just so you can say I did.

“Is the modem connected directly to the wall?” – UH YEAH… the Modem reported to me that at 12:53 PST it lost contact with your DNS Servers and was no longer able to obtain a DSL address.

“What are the lights on your modem indicating?” – FUCK!!!!! Power Green, Ethernet Green, DSL Signal Green, WWW/WAN RED

“Do you have a wireless router?” – Yes

“What is the make of the wireless Router” – It’s an Apple not that it’s of any importance to this situation

“Is the modem connected to the Router” – GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! Everything was working and has been working just fine. Can you please just run a damn line test?

“Can you directly connect you computer to the modem?” – Look lady, I’ve got 10 computers of various types, and operating systems all running and communicating to a bunch of hard drives just fine via the router that you’re obviously trying to blame for your companies failure to provide internet service.

SO NO I’m not going to rewire my shit unless you can give me a seriously fucking compelling reason to do so.

What is the result of the line test?

“Oh the line test has indicated a problem, can you turn you modem off and back on?” – Yes… climbs back up on the ladder to push the button.

Ok modem restarted…

Static ~ Static ~ Static ~ Long Long Long wait…

“I’m so sorry that you have been inconvenienced you will be receiving a phone call within 24 to 48 hours explaining when you can expect your internet service to resume.“

So the line test failed… “Yes, the line test failed, We have received reports that DSL service has been disrupted in your area.“

So had you received those reports Before or After we began this little conversation?

“We knew there was a service outage in your area“

Great! Thanks for wasting my time.

I Hang up.

Why the hell is it so damn hard for people to just answer the question? Better yet why the hell didn’t Verizon route me to a recorded message based on my phone number that simply said

“DSL Service is Temporarily Down in your area. We are working to resolve the problem.“

That would have saved me the annoyance, and the “Technical Support Monkey” in India a lot of frustration.

This blog will not have any pictures…. I may add some when the internet comes back up.

How did I post this you ask????

I’m using the hotspot in my cell phone. It’s only a 2G connection but it’s working.

Sigh…

Saturday Update:

They’re at it again.  This morning Verizon was giving my modem an ip address… every 20 seconds. However the data rate was 2000 BITs per second.

Rough math says that’s about 250 Characters per second which means that if you were just reading text based information you’d be able to easily keep up as the text scrolled across the screen. That is assuming that you can actually read… I guess if you’re here reading this blog you do know how to read… Good for you!

However with todays content rich websites… the reality is that you’ll see nothing but a blank page.

After restarting every single system in my network (Modem, Routers, Computers, WiFI extenders), I realized with horror that I’d need to report the problem to Verizon. 

After Irishing my coffee… I was once again on the phone working my way through the insanity that is Verizons menu system.

It’s all voice activated and apparently tuned for non English speaking people because even when I’m speaking to it calmly (Before it pisses me off) it doesn’t understand me. 

As an aside… I really hate voice recognition/prompts that have Genuine People Personalities I find them annoying and condescending. 

This time I tried to work with the damn machine.

I was able to get it to run a line test. It determined that something was wrong and told me that it was going to transfer me to a human being. 

“Cool” I thought. 

Then for my protection, it wanted me to enter the last 8 or 10 digits of my account number. As If I had that handy!!!! Failing that… They wanted me to enter the amount I’d last paid them. UHHH Yeah! RIGHT! If I don’t have the account number handy, I’m sure as hell not going to have the last amount I paid handy.

I mean I could look it up ON THE INTERNET except that I can’t get to the Verizon web pages.

You know… The web pages where we’re all asked to “Go Green” and Save paper by signing up for automatic payments? Yeah… THAT page.

Which takes me into the loop where the Genuine People Personality tries to get me to pull this information out of my ass.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”

At this point I’m heating up for a full on explosion.

Then I remember being told once swearing foully at these systems can get you to a human being. So I channel the spirits of some of my favorite Marines!

It did break me out of the loop… and I felt better too!

Then I’m in a hold queue where a very nice voice complete with Indian accent is telling me they’ll get to me in less than 15 minutes and that she’s sorry for the inconvenience.

I’m calmer. I go back to my desk. I’m watching the modem performance statistics.  

The indian accent lady is telling me they’ll get to me in less than 15 minutes and that she’s sorry for the inconvenience. AGAIN

When all the sudden the stats jump way up Bits… Kilobits… Megabits… per second. the throughput stabilizes at 2.96Mbps (normal)  for my DSL service.

Still, the indian accent lady is telling me they’ll get to me in less than 15 minutes and that she’s sorry for the inconvenience.

I hang up. 

Whatever the hell the problem was… they must have gotten thousands of calls about it.

I’m guessing that was enough to light a fire under them. 

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Good! 

Remember these Utilities WORK for YOU!

They need to be reminded of that on a regular basis. 

Yeah… I’m all Nebari today. So what?

I’d decided that I was going to refer to whoever I spoke with at Verizon in the Nebari way.

“Servicer… I will give commands, you will execute commands“

I probably wouldn’t have made and friends… but I sure as hell would have felt better!

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I hate Memorial Day weekend

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I hate Memorial Day weekend because of the damn garage sale hunters.

I live on a street that first of all is private, second it’s a dead end street. Which means that these people come barreling up the street and then they hit the brakes like maniacs. It’s tough enough on the street.

But… And this is what pisses me off, when these inconsiderate morons do the same thing in my driveway I just go off.

There is no one on my street selling anything…

There’s no reason for these people to be in my driveway. When they damage the drive I get really hacked off about it.

They’re gone in a flash but the leave me cleaning up their mess and damage.

I understand why so many people have their driveways chained off.

I hate living like a prisoner, just trying to keep my shit from being damaged.

The same thing happens with my vehicles. Most of the damage done to them isn’t done by me. It’s done by other inconsiderate pricks. Either in parking lots or by assholes dropping shit on the roads and just driving on.

I hate fighting to keep my stuff nice just so someone else can screw it up.

What ever happened to people doing the right thing?

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Oh for the love of god! The insanity continues!!!

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As a side note this was originally going to publish on Tuesday. Given the events of Monday in Boston and Wednesday in TX I held it up. I’ve thought about it and decided that this still needed to be said.

We as a country cannot and should not get into the habit of “Banning or interfering” as this Senator attempted to do. 

Banning an event or book one group dislikes, places us on the slippery slope to censorship. 

I personally disliked Jesse Jacksons rallies in FL against Zimmerman. However I am duty bound as a citizen under the constitution to protect Rev. Jackson right to free speech.

This is a philosophy that is deeply ingrained in me. As it should be in all American citizens, most especially our politicians.

I understand that the Senator was likely just seeking some publicity, but this method sets a bad precedent. 

All right people I’m going to say some things here that are likely to piss some of you off.

TOUGH!

A Connecticut Senator by the name of Murphy asked that the NRA 500 NASCAR race be Not Aired or cancelled because of the fact that it was sponsored by the NRA.

I don’t even follow or watch NASCAR and this pisses me off.

I see this as nothing more than a spotlight grabbing publicity seeking asshole Senator standing on the Newtown Tragedy in an effort to look, yes look like he’s doing something.

I’m sick of hearing about Newtown. I’m sick of hearing every fucking controversial issue being tied back to Newtown. 

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I’m so fucking over it I can’t see straight and I am equally sick of hearing talking heads and dumbass members of congress blabbing on and on about the pros and cons of various asinine gun control bills.

I’m sick of hearing moronic state representatives blabbing on about things that they have no idea about.

Then trying to make laws that are supposed to be about the safety of the public. When in reality the new laws will not do one fucking thing to make us safer.

If Senator Murphy had been successful in stopping the broadcast or even the race, I’d have been calling for his immediate removal from office for violating his oath of office.

You know… that little bit about upholding the constitution? I might even have been screaming for him to be hauled up on charges of improper use of power and influence peddling.

Why?

Because had he managed to stop the broadcast or the race itself, I believe that would have violated the First Amendment.

Folks… Events like this race are planned at least a year if not two years in advance.

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The NRA PAID their sponsorship money.

The fans paid their money for the tickets.

The advertisers paid for their commercials to run during the broadcast.

The cars and team uniforms were logoed, and purchased.

Thousands of people fed their families because they had jobs associated with the NRA 500.

That doesn’t necessarily mean those people agreed with the NRA on any point.

However, unlike our politicians, those thousands of people did their jobs and were paid for their labor.

No-body could have predicted that a CRAZY person would kill his mother, take guns from his home and kill a bunch of school children.

That this Senator, seemed to think that all that money, and all those jobs should… What?

Give everybody a refund? Take a 400 million or MORE (I’m guessing) dollar loss?

Simply because he disagrees with the sponsor, demonstrates to me personally that Senator Murphy is unfit to be in the Senate.

Clearly he has no clue about how economies work and is more than willing to disrupt the finances of thousands if not hundreds of thousand of people for nothing!

Based on that alone he should be removed from office, he’s unfit to lead in any way.

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I hate Games in Business Transactions

I Hate playing games with vendors or suppliers of services.

All too often these days people seem to want to play games with your paycheck, they want to play games with your bills, games with your mail, your email, your online accounts. They want to play games with you returning things.

DirecTV after two and half weeks finally got around to sending me a “recovery kit”

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Do you know what’s in the recovery kit? Take a guess it’s not what you would think…

I was expecting a large box with a couple of return labels.  I was going to put both of the DirecTV receivers in the big box and then take the big box to the post office.

What I got was a package full of labels… No box, no packing material, nothing that I could put the DirecTV receivers in to make sure that they got back to DirecTV.

The first passing thought was slap the stickers directly on the receivers themselves and send that to DirecTV however I knew the post office wouldn’t take them that way.

So I found a couple boxes down in the garage.

The receivers are in the boxes covered in ghost poop, I’m not at all sure that they’ll survive the rough handling that I know the postal service will subject them to. At this point I don’t really care… much.  I do, the machines didn’t do anything wrong they’re in good working order and they shouldn’t be damaged because no-one cares.

I did pack them tightly and with what packaging materials I had available. I just wish that the idiots at DirecTV had sent me the proper boxes with appropriate packing.

Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how the post office wants the labels on the boxes.

Clearly DirecTV was trying to do nothing more than make it difficult for me to return their product

We came to an end of our relationship after eight years because of exactly this kind of game playing.

If I want to cancel my service I should be able to cancel my service, it should be no harm no foul.

I should be able to put the receivers in the box and I should be able to send the box back to DirecTV.

Instead I had to make three requests for the recovery kit

After the third request what I get is a package full of labels not shipping boxes.

I know what the game is about and how it’s played.

It’s all about them figuring “Maybe if we make it to hard for this person to get rid of the receivers,  if we make it so that he’s going to be charged a ton of money if he keeps the receivers for any length of time after the contract is up maybe he’ll sign up with us again, maybe we can continue to get the $120 or $130 a month.”

All I can say is they don’t know me very well.

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With me, the harder you make something, the more annoyed I get, the more likely I will go to the ends of the Earth to accomplish my goal.

In this case I’m going to make sure that I can put DirecTVs equipment straight up their collective ass.

So DirecTV not only did you lose a customer because I couldn’t make changes to my plan without having to go to some kind of unbelievable game with plan switches, and 2 year contracts all of which was designed to make absolutely sure that I ended up spending more money than I was originally, you’ve also lost a customer forever.

I cannot imagine myself doing any business at all with DirecTV from here on out I’m not going to say never.  But it is sure as hell going to require a lot of thought before I sign my name on any dotted line with these people.

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N.Y. mayor ‘shocked’ by soda law ruling

I saw the following headline this morning. This link should take you to the whole article.

N.Y. mayor ‘shocked’ by soda law ruling, takes shot at Mississippi law

I couldn’t help myself…

 

 

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Dear Mayor Bloomberg.

First… REALLY???

You really don’t understand why Mississippi has passed an anti Bloomberg law?

You really were shocked that  the Judge ruled against your soda law? Obviously you must have forgotten about a little thing called freedom.

You can’t be that clueless, therefore you have to be working at being purposefully obtuse.

Let me explain this to you in a way that perhaps your sycophant aides won’t.

Mississippi, isn’t legislating in favor of obesity they’re legislating against government interference in their lives, a phenomenon all too present these days.

I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand this concept, you’re so sure that you know whats best for everyone.

In your arrogant conceit you assume that no-one is capable of thinking for themselves or making their own choices. Further, you seek to remove any choice that could have deleterious effect.

Where Mr. Mayor would you stop?

Would Steak and all red meat be outlawed in the city of New York? Would you further legislate that only a vegan diet is acceptable? A healthier lifestyle requires less in medical costs doesn’t it?

Would you ban all alcoholic beverages from your city? That should put a stop to drunk driving. It would also reduce employee absenteeism thereby making your city more industrious and productive.

To protect society and New Yorkers Would you criminalize sex out of wedlock? Or Would you simply pass legislation to enforce reversible sterilization? This would prevent the poor from overly burdening themselves with children that could require assistance from the state, or who might become criminals.

How about requiring registration and licensing for use all cooking knives over 5” long?Those too can be used as deadly weapons.

Would you decide that fashion envy is a threat to the stability of your city and require uniforms to be worn by everyone?

Would you try to engage in eugenics, assigning men and women to each other for the purposes of reproduction. After all, in just a few generations you could erase or significantly blur the color lines in your city. Homogenous is good isn’t it?

Would you outlaw religion? Or will you simply define a State religion, thereby removing any potential conflict over beliefs?

When your ideas were rejected and the people engaged in protests and other forms of civil disobedience would you give the police a shoot to kill order? Would you bring in the national guard to enforce your will? I suppose you wouldn’t need the national guard, NYPD does seem to shoot and kill innocent people with frightening efficiency. 

Mr Mayor…

As insane as these ideas sound. To some extent throughout history been tried in various times and places, thankfully for the most part they’ve failed or at least been mercifully short lived.

Despots, and Dictators seem to start out by enacting laws “For the safety and Security of their people”. Historically, it doesn’t end well.

Thankfully you’re not in a position of national power. You pose little threat to the rest of us. 

The people of Mississippi and indeed other states are using you as a means to voice their opinion by saying no to the Nannyism which leads to a dark path, a path that is anathema to the core beliefs of America and her citizens.

That Mr Mayor is why you’ve become a laughing stock in so many places.

That’s why a Judge has ruled against your silly law. That is why other states are etching your name in the annals of their books of law as someone who is on the wrong side of common sense and freedom.

That’s why you’re becoming largely irrelevant.

Mr. Mayor, you do serve one purpose, You’re an example to our politicians about what can happen when you go too far.

I hope they get the message.

I look forward to the phrase “He’s a / Thats a Bloomberg” entering the national conversation as a euphemism for someone or something which is largely irrelevant.