Category: Rants

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Sales People!

Recently I was looking at extending my education as a means to enhance my NewImageemployment odds.

I ran across a number of online colleges and almost all of them feel like sleazy internet salesmen.

Why should I have to give you my email address, name, phone number etc JUST to look at your course offerings?

One college in particular has been blanketing the local airwaves here as a Technological college designed for people just like me…

You know, folks that have been in the game for a very long time and who might be considering a change in their career. 

This college is one of the worst. in terms of their web site. You navigate to their site using a standard computer and browser, you really can’t get any useful information about the classes offered without requesting that they contact you to discuss your future college career. (Unless you make alterations to your browser)

Accessing the site via an iPad however gives you access to all the information about the classes offered, tuition, and you can even download the course catalog. 

Since this college is trying to position itself as an online presence aimed at serving business people who wish to polish their skills or change careers, I’d recommend that the web site be a little less cagey.

Business people in general have little patience for games when they’re trying to NewImagedecide how they want to spend their money.

That’s why I buy cars from fleet managers. I’m really a simple guy when it comes to buying… well ANYTHING.

Tell me how much… I’ll decide if it’s worth it and if I can afford it… If the answer is yes, I’ll write the check. If it’s not then we’re done and I’m not going to waste your time.

Now if your sales force is really wanting to jack me off or suck my dick I’m down for that but it’s not going to change my mind about buying your product. Hell, I’ll even provide the tissue if needed.

You should know, I prefer swallowers…

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What a racket!!!!

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Ok this is a rant. It’s probably not very coherent but I’m madder than hell!

I live in a recently rebuilt house. That means that I now meet the Kalifornia standards for new construction. You’d think that would be a good thing wouldn’t you?

Well it’s not!

Because of California code, I had to add more overhead lights to save energy…

Don’t ask… someone seemed to think that if you had nasty assed fluorescent lighting in the ceiling you’d be less likely to have actual lamps in your house, BOY WERE THEY WRONG!

The builder fought me about putting skylights in the bathrooms because the building inspector “Might” not like them. GO Figure!

I still don’t get that.. I was trying to be energy efficient and they fought me tooth and nail even when I asked why there had to be x number of fluorescent light fixtures in the house, when fewer fixtures obviously translated to lower building and lower overall energy costs. the answer as it turns out was… It’s the law. (Re: those nasty assed fluorescent lights… If I keep this house I’m ripping those things out and replacing them with LEDs.)

Add to this,  I also by law have to have a fire suppression system, and basically the hands of our Komrad Kalifornians are well and truly up my ass with no lubrication.

The previous house had a fire suppression system too.

Every year I dutifully had the system inspected and certified pursuant to the law referenced here .

It is completely arguable that the fire suppression systems FAILURE was entirely due to these annual inspections.

See a few years back, when my house had burned, I came under suspicion because the fire inspector found the fire suppression was actually turned off.

Yep, I’d paid for inspections and maintenance which left my home with a NON-Working suppression system. Fanfuckingtastic!

The water company sends out these notices yearly about having your system inspected.

I’m frankly at odds about the whole thing. Given my personal experience… I wish I didn’t have a sprinkler system. After all it’s just another useless yearly expense and maintenance hassle because I own a home.

Truth to tell, I’d rather have a house without a fire suppression system. It’s like living under a loaded gun.

I can’t tell you how many homes up here have suffered water damage because the fire suppression system malfunctioned or the pipes froze. Well, I can tell you about my next door neighbor…

But when you don’t have your shit inspected exactly on time the water company sneaks up on your doorstep and hangs a little bullshit tag on your door. They threaten to turn your water off if you don’t have the inspection.

Say what????

Ok so lets get this straight, you’re going to turn my fucking water off, to force me to have a fire suppression system inspected, a system that REQUIRES WATER to operate?

These MORONS are essentially going to disable a fire suppression system to force me to have an inspection???

Where the hell is the sense in that? I pay my fucking water bill every month, I’m never late, I don’t even raise my voice when I get bills from them that say (1) I’m late, and (2) I’m 6 months behind! When I call them, they call up the account and say, “Isn’t that strange, your bill is paid and has been for the past year. This is a billing error I’ll notify accounting.“

And yet the California Department of Forestry and Fire protection forces new homes to have these systems, then they force the homeowners to pay every year to inspect and maintain them.  There’re penalties for disabling the system too. Prison time for example.

Humm, I wonder if I could have the asshole arrested who turns my water off?

By definition that person is disabling a fire suppression system. Now there’s a thought!!!

And the insults go on.

Recently, the State sent out a notice that they were going to start billing those of us who lived in rural settings an additional $150 to $200 per year to pay for the additional fire support. Excuse ME??? What about my taxes? What about the fact that my Fire department is paid for BY the County?

Oh and there is no-one more attuned to the issues of Fire safety than the people in the mountain communities. WHY? Because in the past we’ve seen these communities burn to the ground.

Sadly those fires were entirely preventable but the “Smart guys” at the State level refused to listen when these communities suggested that the fire threat could be mitigated simply and efficiently. The solution was start clearing the sick, dying, & dead trees out of the forests. 

Well the smart guys in Sacramento told everyone they were stupid for making such a suggestion.

Then there was the Arrowhead fire. Nature cleared the sick, dying, and dead trees for us. 

The communities that fared better were those where the people had paid out of their own pockets or their community coffers to remove the hazard. Sacramento got all up & arms because these communities had cut trees that were in some cases inside a national forest. Cuttng dead and dying trees in a national forest is bad… even if the State or federal government won’t allocate the funds to take the preventative steps themselves. But they’ll pay a fortune in fire fighters and risk lives and property when the fire breaks out.

It was all about Sacramento having the last word and refusing to admit that the locals actually knew what they were doing.

It’s statist crap. The government always claims it knows better than YOU do.

I’m sick and of Nanny governing!

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I’m also sick and tired of the Golden State Water Company. There is the particular person who delivers these notices. He likes to sneak up on your porch and hang the notice in hopes that he can escape without having to deal with an angry person.

I’ve been trying for at least 2 months to get this inspection done mainly because I don’t want to have to deal with the hassle and bullshit. It’s just really difficult to find a certified inspector that will haul their asses up here. 

In my opinion the fucking water company should be doing it FREE! After all they claim that they’re protecting the water supply from the antifreeze in the system. You’d think it would be in their best interests to deal with it. But no… 

It’s an opportunity to have the plumbers with the right certifications come out to your house, charge you $150 for the house call and potentially leave your system off. I come from a place that says “If it ain’t broke… don’t fix it”

I’m really starting to believe it’s time to leave.

More and more lately I find myself thinking about just putting this place on the market and leaving this town, this state, and I swear… Even this country.

Hell, I seriously doubt that there much difference between living in California and oh say any EU country in terms of the regulations and controls the average citizen has to deal with.

I want to be free! I thought I lived in a free country… I suppose the only places that are truly not under the government thumb are the “Flyover States”. Of course that’s only because the snooty fuckers that like to impose their will on everyone else know better than to get too far from the city.

Well 20 years ago when I moved to this town… I was far enough away from the city that we lived pretty much according to our own thoughts and as long as we didn’t hurt anybody everyone pretty much minded their own business.

Now, I guess it’s time to move on… It’s a real pain to say ahead of people who are “smarter and know” more about my life than I do.

Now wheres’ that map of the “Fly Over” states?

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Riddle me This?

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A recent report from Bloomberg reports that Oil Prices (Meaning Crude Trading) is currently at a Two month low, and that as the US output has risen, the Demand has eased.

So Why are we still seeing gas prices that are 4.99 for a gallon of regular?

Really?

The oil futures and price per barrel jumps if there’s the slightest change in the breeze, or a Congressman farts. Driving the cost of a gallon of gas up…

So why isn’t the converse true? More supply means that the cost of gas shouldn’t be as high, isn’t that economics 101?

This leads me to think, contrary to what the Oil Companies have reported for years… Gas prices are directly tied to the cost of crude and the anticipated supply that there’s really a far more insidious conspiracy of artificial controls actually keeping the gas prices up.

Lets see…

Obviously, Obscene Profits are a huge motivator.

Keeping fuel prices artificially high would play out nicely for Corporate America in an election year, since fuel / transportation prices directly affect every aspect of the economy.

Think about it, If a cabal of American or International businesses were to decide that they didn’t want a particular President in office, one way to get that president out of office would be to strangle an already weak economy.

When the preferred candidate was elected, then fuel prices drop and the economy spins up again. People go back to work, new jobs are suddenly created and voila… The new President has turned things around!

I don’t know if this line of reasoning is anything but a trip down conspiracy lane… but I do think that EVERY American should remember that regardless of what the press tells us, and regardless of what the Oil companies tell us…

There is no direct causal link between the cost of a barrel of crude, and the cost of gasoline at the pump… At least not anymore.

When the Oil Barons are testifying before congress and poor mouthing that they have no control over the prices of fuel, I pray to GOD that at least one congressional committee member has the balls to stand up and call BULLSHIT right to the Oil Executives faces on CSPAN!

What would be even better would be if the Oil Executives were clapped in Irons and dragged out of the hearing chambers for lying to congress.

Hell I’d PAY to see that!

Occupy Wall Street should be Occupy EXXON, British Petroleum, Atlantic Richfield, ConocoPhillips, and all the other bastard Oil companies as well as Wall Street futures traders…

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I call Bullshit on Oil Companies

An article in the Christian Science Monitor talking about the gas prices in California has really convinced me of a couple of things. Read the article here

Gas prices california e1349449021752

First, I’ve come to believe that the oil companies USE California as a test bed to see how the public will respond to ever increasing gas prices. They raise the prices till the bitching gets really loud and the people of California start demanding hearings in congress.

Then the oil companies back the prices down after apologizing and giving some lame ass excuse.

At the same time they’ve modeled how fast the gas prices can go up before people start really bitching. Then they halve that rate of increase and apply it to the rest of the country. But… and this is the interesting thing… The cost of gas never returns to it’s “Pre-Crises” value.

If the crises is over why doesn’t the cost return to the previous level?

Second, California environmental regulations play directly into the hands of the oil companies. Fully .50 of every gallon of gas is nothing but state taxes. Which means that even those people in California trying to pay attention to the actual price of a gallon of gas have to separate out the state, county, and city taxes on the price per gallon and since those rates are all over the map depending on where you fill up in your 4 hour commute per day you may have all or only one or two of those additional fees.

Southern California is particularly vulnerable to this kind of manipulation. Because the mass transit system SUCKS!

Yes… the politicians would have you believe that mass transit in Southern California is wonderful…

But the reality is; If you happen to live in the Inland Empire (Pomona, Glendora, San Dimas, Riverside, Ontario, Corona, San Bernardino, or Fontana) and you work by necessity in Orange County or Los Angeles you’re kinda screwed. If you live in Orange County and work in LA you’re just as screwed.

 Taking a train to Orange County is pretty much pointless because after you’ve gotten there the transit system is unreliable as hell and you’re talking busses or calling a taxi… there’s nothing else. If you’re trying to get from OC to LA that’s an expensive and painful trip via train, provided you don’t get a message like this;

Trip Options

TripMaster found NO trip(s) leaving from ORANGE COUNTY AIRPORT to LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. You are traveling on Saturday and Leaving at 12:12PM . Fare class: Regular. Max walk: 1/3 Mile. Mode: ANY. Try changing walking DISTANCE or travel TIME or MODE or FILTERING. Make sure the locations are correct.

Getting to LA from the Inland Empire via train isn’t that bad then you can grab a metro rail (like the “L” in Chicago but not elevated) the problem is that using the train/metro rail system/bus can literally add hours to your commute and god help you if you have to work late, or you have a swing shift you might get to work but you can’t get home.

Essentially, the people of Southern California are faced with spending 5 or 6 hours commuting via train versus 4 hours commuting via their cars. Which would you choose, given that you do want to spend some time with your loved ones. You’d like to see your children and perhaps have an opportunity to have sex. Then there’s the issue of maybe trying to work out and get some exercise.

I know… I’ve done that madness for years! Give me my car not because I like sitting on the freeway but because I like getting home before 10PM.

The point is the Oil companies have a mostly captive audience.

Los Angeles, Orange County, The Inland Empire are these wonderful petri dishes where Big Oil can float higher gas prices and see just what kind of lame assed excuses the moronic public will accept.

The article I referenced above says that three factors are driving the cost of gas up in California.

1) State refineries have lowered production as they get ready to switch to “winter blend” (This is all about California regulations and pollutions controls. It also causes excessive wear & tear on our engines and a commensurate drop in our MPG. So we’re at the gas stations more often buying more shitty gas.) This is a yearly event and yet… The Oil companies always shut the refineries down at the same time. How about this MORONS? Try scheduling one refinery at a time being shut down then when it’s switched to winter blend, and running again take the next one offline to make the switch and so on. You can do the same damn thing when you switch to Summer Blend so you don’t screw the hell out of the public as they’re trying to get set for their paltry 2 week vacations. (Don’t forget it’s not just Gas. It’s also Airline fuel, and diesel that are suddenly in short supply twice a year.)

2) A power outrage at a Torrance Refinery, and partial shutdown at a Richmond refinery. Really? Just how long was the refinery without power? Months? I think not… And why is the Richmond refinery partially offline?

3) Several refineries in the Central Valley have been shutdown for weeks because of “High Organic Chloride Levels in the Crude”.  SAY WHAT??? So what exactly does that mean? Are they shipping the High Organic Chloride crude to another refinery? Are they throwing it away? What EXACTLY does that mean?

 SO I call BULLSHIT on Big Oil and think that everyone else should too.

Time to BITCH LOUD LONG and HARD

Write your representatives and demand the oil companies stop fucking with us. 

Off to write a letter to politicians

Because I’m not going to pay 4.99 a gallon for gas. Oh and don’t even try to make me say “Oh goodie” about 4.99 a gallon by pointing out that Europe is over $8 per gallon.

Big Deal! So What? 52% of their oil isn’t coming from under their feet.

Don’t even mention a Prius, or accuse me of driving a gas guzzler. I’ll give you an earful that will feel like an ice pick through your brain.

 

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Legalese!!!! Everywhere you look…

I understand that we live in a litigious world. 

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I get that people and companies want to protect and preserve their rights.

But FUCK!!!!

Ever tried to wade through a Microsoft agreement? You have to BE a lawyer to understand what the Lawyers wrote.

Worse yet, are the Apple Agreements that are in your face all the time. If you use iTunes, have an iPod, use an iPad or god help you have an Apple Computer every time you bring up a piece of software it seems, you’re confronted with YET Another licensing agreement from Apple.

Enough already!

These agreements are so ubiquitous to have become irrelevant. I have no idea what I’ve agreed to anymore!

I used to diligently read them start to finish but they became longer, more complex, filled with more legalese and longer still. Now I don’t even try. Invariably I’m confronted with a document that is as long as War & Peace which might as well be written in Aramaic when I’m just trying to do something simple…

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You know, something like sync my iPod before I head out for the day. More than once I’ve said screw it! just leaving the iPod sitting on the desk.

This morning was a classic example. I fired up iTunes to listen to some music, My iPad started syncing. I noticed that there were a bunch of application updates. Oh, I thought, I’ll start those downloads while I’m eating breakfast.

I come back to the computer 30 minutes later to discover that NOT One of the updates have downloaded. Why? Because Apple made some changes  to the terms of use, or the licensing  agreement or they changed the toilet paper in Cupertino or something!

What ever it was that they changed, required that I accept a document as cryptic as the writing on access hatch to the Alien ship that crashed in Roswell. This document is  longer than the recorded history of mankind. I’d be better off, and have several Phd’s to my credit if I read half as much.

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The practical upshot is that I scrolled & scrolled & scrolled & scrolled to the bottom of this overly complex tome, found the little checkbox next to agree, clicked it and then the aptly named “submit” button.

I have no clue what I agreed to. Did I just give Apple my left testicle?

These agreements aren’t fair!

I, like most consumers just want my damn computer to work. I want my software to work.

I honestly don’t give a crap about the companies that are oh so intent on protecting themselves.

If they make good shit I’ll buy it, and use it. If they don’t… or their shit stops being good, or they update it and I don’t’ like the update I’ll find something else. In fact I’ve done exactly that.

We all know that Quicken Products have become something to be replaced as quickly as possible. It’s interesting that Quickbooks (Which BTW I paid $300 for 10 years ago, and then $149 for 7 years thereafter) is discounted on the Intuit site to $199. I know a lot of people that are searching for less expensive alternatives, and they’re finding them.

Those of us that helped the Omni Group build the popularity of their products aren’t updating their products anymore unless we absolutely have to. Mainly because the Omni Group is greedy, charging WAY TOO MUCH for upgrades. 

Several years ago I had enough, I no longer have any Omni Group programs on my computer.  I was a serious fan. At one point I owned the professional editions of all their core applications. Now, I use Powerpoint, or Adobe Illustrator instead.  

The cost of upgrades aside, I absolutely can’t stand being held hostage to an agreement from Apple so that I can update applications I purchased from 3rd parties. The agreement Apple threw in my face this morning was exactly that. Had I not agreed to it, I wouldn’t have been able to update the applications that I’d purchased.

And people talk about Google being “Evil“… 

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Apple really needs to understand, they’re the ones that created the app store / update mechanism.

They probably shouldn’t remind all us Sheeple that we’re hostages. Otherwise we’re likely to see what alternatives are available.

Wha… I see an update server… Baah Baaaaahh.