Oh WOW! I’ll never do that again!

What you might ask???

Yesterday, I dished out the last of some cottage cheese onto my plate for lunch. There were a few curds and milk still in the container.

I enjoy watching Jesse’s problem solving tactics, so I gave him the container knowing full well that I might end up cleaning a mess from the kitchen floor. I didn’t, Jesse almost immediately turned the container on its side then held it still with one paw while he licked the sides and bottom of the container.

I was amused but somewhat disappointed that he figured the puzzle out so quickly. I guess his time on the streets taught him a few tricks.

The problem came after lunch. One hour after lunch to be exact.

Jesse got the nastiest paint pealing farts ever! OMG! He was lying on the floor in front of me then let loose with a silent but deadly…

He had the audacity to look at me as if I was responsible. I told him, “No that wasn’t me.” He sniffed his butt and the heartbreak of the truth was written all over his face. He gathered what dignity he had left and walked out onto the deck.

The farts followed him and really harshed his buzz.

On his afternoon walk 4 hours later he was still laying eye watering gas attacks. At this point we could fly to Israel and volunteer to clear tunnels.

Honestly, I could feed him a tub of cottage cheese and just let him stand at the entrance to Hamas tunnels. They’d clear out in minutes.

I suppose that would be against the Geneva convention. Isn’t there some prohibition against gas and / or biological attacks?

Thank goodness we don’t have wallpaper in the house. It would have been pealing.

He was okay, but no dairy for him, other than occasional yogurt licks.

On the one hand I felt a bit sorry for him. His poos were solid so his stomach wasn’t upset or anything. He’s just had really nasty gas.

I discovered that It’s hard for me to tell him I love him when I’m gagging from another silent but deadly attack.

I hope your day was better than ours.