I’m day drinking, I’m so pissed off right now!

I honestly don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people but I’m so over it.

I’m spitting nails and perhaps I’m over reacting. But FUCK!

Way back when Jerry & I moved into the house after the fire. We’d had the fence replaced so the pups could run around in their yard. The fence was bright and shiny, it looked sterile as all galvanized fences look when they’re new. This was the second fence we’d paid for and installed on our property.

By on our property, I mean we’d made sure that the fence was well within our property lines because we didn’t want to have any issues down the road. We literally had the property surveyed twice! Once, when the house was being rebuilt, and the second time, just before the fencing guys came in and reinstalled the fucking fence.

We had a neighbor that didn’t do or like fences at the time, but she understood and agreed that the pups needed a place to run and play where they couldn’t get hurt.

She died. There there was the meth head rental lady. Then there was the cute couple who during the pregnancy with their second child installed a monstrosity of a badly constructed wooden fence. (She kinda went nuts because at the time, the county was widening the wash, in the name of flood control and that forced anyone walking to be close to their property line. She was in momma bear protective mode and was super fearful of someone coming up and taking one of the kids. Likelihood of that was somewhere around .0001% but she would not be dissuaded and eventually her husband capitulated, even though he hated the wooden fence she made him install.) Shortly after they had their second child they sold the place and moved. Leaving behind the poorly built wooden monstrosity. Another couple moved in, they stayed a few years then he was transferred to New Mexico and they moved.

That brings us to the guy currently next door. Honestly, I’ve tolerated him. I’ve always thought he was a bit too arrogant and he always loves to correct anyone. In fact he corrected me during a fire evacuation when I’d taken the time from the road to inform everyone on the neighbor group chat that the primary evacuation route had been closed and that everyone was being turned around to the alternate route. At the time I was literally sitting in traffic on the alternate route and said so in the chat.

But Jerry who I was talking to on the phone at the time because we always remained in communication during an evacuation saw the text and immediately said, “Be nice. Everyone is stressed.” I should have let this guy have it right then and there, but in deference to Jerry I kept my mouth shut.

Anyway, In all the time not one person said a damn thing about the grape vines that Jerry liked and had me plant along the inside of our fence. We tended the vines and every once in a while we’d get a bunch of grapes.

Truth to tell, we spent more in water than the vines ever produced. But Jerry liked the vines and as they spread out along the fence, they softened the fence line and made for a cool shady spot for the pups to relax in.

At the time we planted the grapes, we also planted an overly ambitious apple tree. By overly ambitious, I mean that tree produced apples from the first year. In fact we had to remove some of the apples long before they were ripe because the tree had bent over from the weight.

The past 3 years the grape vine has spread a little bit along the fence and in all 3 years it’s produced some small but very tasty grapes.

There’s a narrow walkway between the fence and my neighbor’s house. He has a gate through the wooden monstrosity of a fence and while he rarely uses that gate, occasionally one of the grape vines will send a tendril out towards the gate. When I’ve seen that happening I’ve trimmed the tendril, or threaded it back through my fence allowing it to grow and in time soften more of the fence line.

Typically, I’ll do this once or twice in a summer, but due to the possibility of snakes taking up residence in the space between the fence and this guy’s house, I’ve also weed whacked the zone. It’s not a big deal for me, it helps him out, and I don’t have to worry about the dog getting bitten by a snake.

A couple of weeks ago he mentioned that he wanted to trim the grape vine on his side of the fence and I thought nothing of it. I figured he’d use his fucking brain and just trim it like a hedge. That wouldn’t hurt the plant so I said, “sure whatever”

This week I noticed that the vines were dying off running the length of my fence. At first I thought, “Well it’s fall and that’s pretty normal.” I went ahead and started giving the vine more water so that It could go to sleep for the winter.

The die off continued. Today I was outside and noticed only the vines extending along the fence were dying off. The central plant was still green and vibrant. “That’s odd,” I thought. Then I examined more closely.

That moronic son of a bitch had cut the vines wrapped through the fucking fence! Then to make matters worse in typical liberal democrat fashion had just left them there to die.

I say typical liberal democrat because A) He is a Hollywood liberal democrat leftist (he’s a voice actor) and B) because that’s so leftist, “Make a mess and expect someone else to clean it up

I spent the next 45 minutes removing all the formerly productive (grape bearing,) now dying parts of the vine that I’d been training through my fence for literally years.

I don’t know if the plant will survive. It’s going into its winter sleep and without the leaves and additional energy it might not survive the winter because now it’s trying to heal itself and go into winter sleep.

This jackass destroyed a decade of growth and I’m doubting that I’ll get any grapes next year. He did this to a plant growing on my fucking fence. Typically once the plant has gone to sleep, I’ll trim and prune the older dead branches so that when the plant wakes up I’ll get new growth.

I was talking to my brother on the phone when I discovered this while I was cleaning up the mess I’d been left with. My brother who’s not a plant person but had seen the vines was understanding that I’d be pissed off.

He was blown away that someone would do something like that in the first place then leave it like it was nothing.

His response was the usual for him. “Well that’s fucking Californians for you.” Then he asked if I lived in an HOA community, which I don’t. When I told him that, he said just wait for it, that neighbor is probably going to try to start one.

He sold his place in Florida because the HOA wouldn’t let him plant a couple of trees in his fenced in back yard. The HOA made him get rid of potted tomato plants he was growing on his upstairs front deck. They didn’t like the aesthetics of the plants being on the upper deck and then kept hounding him about the plants after he moved them downstairs to his back deck inside a fenced yard. The HOA went so far as to forbid any “food plants” from the community.

His revenge was to find a field of dandelions and collect their seeds plus a ton of crabgrass then liberally distribute both throughout the community, 5 days before the sale of his house closed in springtime. With spring rains in northern Florida I’m betting they’ll have to tear out and re – sod the whole community.

That’s the kind of fuckers we are.

As I said he’s not a plant guy, but he likes tomatoes.

(As an aside, he’s laughing his ass off that DeSantis is likely to sign a law that makes HOAs illegal in Florida.)

I’m furious about what this neighbor did to my grape vine. There are a lot of layers to it.

  1. It’s a plant on my property
  2. it was growing on a fence on my property
  3. It was a plant Jerry liked
  4. It provided a cool shady spot for Jesse
  5. It represented 10 years of work and nurturing
  6. The plant had just consistently begun to provide grapes
  7. I’d actually offered to share the grapes with the fucking neighbor. (It’s not my fault he didn’t get his ass out there to harvest grapes before the birds & squirrels got to them. I had plenty.)
  8. That vine gave me some green along the fence that brought me a sense of peace because in the midst of a mostly grey landscape, (Unless you looked at or walked through the forest above us,) there was a deep green that I enjoyed whenever I was out there.

I guess I feel violated.

This guy has literally removed all of the natural plants from his yard. While overgrown he could simply have trimmed them back. He’s also pretty much destroyed the beautiful Japanese maple that was growing for years in his back yard. That tree was green and watching it change with the seasons was amazing.

He stopped watering it, then pruned the shit out of it, (badly) and is essentially letting it die.

I’ve included pictures of what he left me with. The vine used to extend all the way to the fence post you can see at the left.

Oh and don’t forget, he just cut the vine near the main plant. He left all of the vine threaded through the fence to wither and die making it much more difficult to remove because as it dries out, it’s no longer flexible. The stuff growing up his wall is a bit of Virginia creeper. Why he decided to fuck up my grape vine and leave the creeper is a complete mystery.

I’m tempted to tell him, “If you want to kill a plant, cut it off at the root.”

Now when I go outside I get to look at the side of his house, his shitty gate, and the exhaust ports for his tankless water heater. If you visualize the plant growing up the fence extending all the way to the left you’ll get a sense of the green wall that afforded me some privacy If I was sitting on my lower deck enjoying the sunshine.

As the plant goes to sleep, I’m sure I’ll find more vines he cut through but for the moment I’ve removed all the obviously damaged parts of the plant.

If by some miracle I’m able to stay in the house, come springtime I’m thinking I’ll move the grape to my back fence where it won’t inconvenience the neighbor and I’ll plant something really invasive and fast growing like Virginia creeper along my fence next to his house. He can cut that all he likes, he won’t make a dent in it. I’m thinking I’ll toss some Mexican Sage into the area between the fence and his house and I’m not going to bother cutting down the weeds between his house and the fence. Once the Mexican sage takes hold He’ll have a jungle and a hefty fine every spring from the county for fire abatement.

I think there’s a kind of prickly fence edging I can lay down that snakes aren’t supposed to like crossing. I’ll let him deal with the rattlesnakes that may take up residence on his property.

Thinking about it, he might have heard me talking to my brother. I was using my new AirPods during the conversation while I was cleaning up the mess he left me. I think I recall seeing him wandering around the moonscape his yard is now.

I hope he did hear me talking to my Brother. I hope he heard exactly what I think of him.

Were it not so close to my bedroom, I’d start dumping all of Jesse’s poop on that side of the house too.

I feel like I’ve been too nice. I’ve not said word one about his incessant music, (Oh I’ve thought some bad things, I’ve even played my music loud enough that his was being drowned out,) I’ve not complained about him using a leaf blower on dirt kicking up dust clouds, I’ve not said shit about him running a chain saw in the early morning or in the evening when I sit down to dinner and watch a movie.

I’ve been the ”nice guy” a.k.a. The doormat everyone shits on. The guy that just minds his own business and tries really hard to not make waves.

I’ve got enough on my plate without fighting with the neighbors too. I’ve been too quiet, too forgiving, and in doing so people think they can ignore me or walk all over me. Until they need something… Because, “Hey he’s a nice guy… it’s okay for us to fuck him over.”

Jerry taught me to be nice. What I need to relearn is how to be a raging asshole. That appears to be the only way to survive the liberal fuckers these days.

I Tried.

So yesterday afternoon, I decided I really needed to get the heck out of the house.

I thought to myself it’s not going to be too cold, so I packed my tent, some water, my little JetBoil so I could have coffee in the morning, Really BAD coffee, the instant was very past it’s expiration date. I packed a small container of leftover chicken & rice for dinner and a bagel for breakfast. Tossed the sleeping bag in the pack, assorted dog treats, a little food for the dog and his collapsable bowls.

A simple overnight camping trip. No fire. It would have been nice to have a campfire but that’s out of the question in Southern California mountains this time of year.

I had my battery powered lantern, my headlamp, a few other items, and my old faithful handheld HAM Radio. It was in case of emergency, and allowed me to check the weather forecast if I saw clouds rolling in.

I purposely left my damn cellphone, sitting on its charger. I forgot to take my actual “Big Boy” camera! D’OH! Oh well…

Hiked about an hour up the mountain didn’t get as far as I wanted to because a certain someone had to stop every 4 feet to sniff every blade of grass. (Looking at you, dog!)

Got the tent set up near a nice rock outcropping that was almost perfect chair height. I had dinner, drank a little bourbon, and watched the sun go down.

It was blissful, silent, and except for the dog wondering what the hell we were doing, restful. Eventually he just accepted that we were fine, he had food and water, knew where I was, and settled down.

The evening was beautiful, just what I needed. Not quite idyllic, I’d have preferred a babbling brook too, but one makes do.

Around 8 or so, with a very confused dog, I zipped the door of the tent shut and  crawled into the sleeping bag. I don’t think the dog got much sleep.

He was on guard watching the view through the screen of the tent door and I’m not sure he liked the mesh of the tent roof. Next time perhaps I’ll set up with the rain fly so he doesn’t feel so exposed. I was just about asleep. 

My watch buzzed. A text message… “Please call me when you get a chance.” Okay whatever. I rolled over and went to sleep.

My mistake was not putting the damn watch in airplane mode right then and there.

Another message buzzed. This one from a person connected to the person who sent the first message. “I gave X your contact information. Nothing important, we haven’t talked in a very long time. How are you? Touch base when you have a chance.”

“Okay… I’ll get right on that, when I get around to it.”

As I was falling asleep again, I thought to myself, “I haven’t heard from either of these people in well over a year. They do know it’s Labor Day weekend don’t they? What the actual fuck is going on?” I drifted off deciding I’d handle it on Tuesday.

I had enough food, water, and dog treats to last well into Monday if I wanted.

It was a nice spot, a very small valley cutout in the “V” between two mountain peaks. This was not a proper campsite if rain was in the forecast but aside from the “Chair” rock outcropping it was pretty smooth and mostly level.

I could see the sky and stars, crickets were chirping, and I could hear a pair of owls talking to each other from trees on either side of the valley. I told my watch I was going to sleep. It went dark and would be silent until I told it I was awake. Aside from the dog shifting around and giving a nervous bark once during the night, I slept pretty soundly.

Dawn was glorious and I felt at peace. I made coffee, walking around my little campsite in my boxers and boots. No-one was around so who’d care? The dog has seen much worse!

He and I played “Fetch the Treat” in the cool morning air. I had my bagel with a bit of peanut butter and jelly, and thought about camping one more night.

My mistake was taking my watch out of “sleep”. I was considering hiking further up the valley and spending another night nearer the Pacific Crest Trail. That would mean a strenuous climb if I went straight up, or perhaps there was a way around that was less of a sheer climb. 

The watch has topographical mapping and I thought I’d take a look for another path.

More text messages, emails, and a phone call transcription from the person that texted me last night. The call was at 8:23am. The transcription was typical soft pedaling when someone is going to ask you for something but they don’t want to just come out with it.

I rolled my eyes and again thought, “Tuesday. I’ll deal with whatever this is, on Tuesday.”

I strike camp. There’s a path that looks like it changes elevation more gradually. The dog and I were walking happily in a rocky gully at the east end of the valley. There were some of the biggest pieces of actinolite I’ve ever seen, and large pieces of maybe calcite strewn around among the big chunks of granite.

We’d covered maybe another mile and the climb was getting steeper. The gully was narrowing, getting more rugged, I was looking at the Topo map searching for a possible path that could get us out of the gully without having to climb up 30 foot mostly smooth rock faces.

I didn’t have any rope or climbing gear and being alone, didn’t want to risk a fall. Even the dog was looking at me like, “Well, what do we do now?” He’s a very good climber and for him to look back at me probably means I’m not going to free climb a rock face.

Another voicemail transcript from the same person. The time stamp is 9:21. This one is more insistent.

“For FUCKS SAKE!” I muttered, making a mental note to shut down this kind of shit being forwarded to my watch. 

Another text message timestamped 9:23. It too is more insistent.

Maybe my real mental note should be, “Bring a fucking map, or the old Garmin GPS instead of wearing a smart watch while camping. Maybe I’ll just drop the hammer, and spend money I don’t have, on a decent Timex or that sweet Omega I’ve been jonesing for.”

Although, if I’ve got the Garmin I’ll know what time it is, if I’m curious. For that matter the HAM rig has a clock in it too.

The dog & I backtrack a bit, then find another path that veers off away from the gully and keeps moving up. I’ve got my eye on this sweet smooth spot that might afford a spectacular view toward the West. I doubt I’ll be able to see the ocean but the view itself should be commanding.

We hike a while longer, then stop to rest under one of the few trees. The pup is thirsty, I fill his little water dish and check our bearing while he’s resting in the shade. The hike is steeper than the Topo on the watch screen led me to believe it would be.

It’s a nice challenge and in all this has been a cheap adventure. I’m enjoying myself, I’m even thinking of stripping and doing part of the hike nude. Again, no-one around and the dog wouldn’t care.

BUZZZ! Another fucking voicemail transcript from the same person. The text of the voicemail appears more insistent than the previous two. Now it’s commanding instead of “call when you get a chance.”

BUZZZ! Another text message asking me to call, from the person who gave little Miss Insistent my number.

FUUUUUUCCCKKKK!

Can’t a man have some peace and quiet?

These are people Jerry used to work with. Little Miss Insistent is a business owner and like all female business owners, or female bosses, for that matter will not say what they fucking mean.

Instead they say something indirect and then get pissed when a man doesn’t read between the lines and JUMP to do whatever the fuck they are demanding without actually using demanding words.

After all if they used demanding words, they’d be rude. Instead they prefer to annoy the shit out of you.

Standing there, an unknown number of miles from where I want to be, I realize that I’m not going to have any peace until I call these women back. My phone is at least 3 hours hike down this fucking mountain and they’ve managed to piss me off.

So much for having some mental break time on a holiday weekend!

I decide, “Fuck IT! I’m heading back home, back to the noise of weekend projects, chainsaws, and cars blaring rap music as they drive to the meth dealers house up the block.”

The peaceful mood I was working on is gone.

I’m thankful that I had most of one night. I guess that’s all I fucking deserve or can expect.

On the way back down the mountain it occurs to me that this right here is one of the reasons I hate working for women. I don’t even work for these people but fuck if they’re not behaving like I owe them something.

Maybe I’m just easily triggered after years of this kind of shit when I was working. This is the behavior of bosses all over America that fail to plan then tell you at 5:00 on a Friday they need you to work the weekend. They’re not asking… They’re ordering you to flush your plans because they couldn’t plan. 

The capper is always that they’re never going to be in the office over the weekend. They’re going to be out with their friends on their boats, or at Disneyland, or the beach.

They thoughtlessly condemn their employees to a weekend in a cubical farm and come Monday morning they’ll ask how your weekend was. They tend to get pissed when you point out your weekend was spent in the office after you cancelled your plans to be with your friends at Havasu.

After all, the truth is rude. It’s equally rude to point out their hypocrisy. Then women will try to make it better by saying something like, “Well you’re the only one I trust to do this…” 

Which is also bullshit. What they really mean is, “You’re the only one dumb enough, or You’re the only one without family obligations, or You’re the only male in the department  & the mom’s need to be home with their children.” In any of the cases it boils down to since you’re a male, you’re the only one they can fuck over with impunity.

It’s a fucking holiday weekend! I don’t work for you & damn even though I’m retired is it so impossible to believe that I might have plans?

1874043 03400 1280c-1073273447.I swear, I’d love to find a S&M orgy to call them back from.

The slap of leather, groans, and “Ohhhh Daddy Fuck me harder!” Would make a perfect background for me to return the phone call. 

Hello, how are you?

I’m good… ‘OH YEAH! Take my load you whore!’ “

As I’m pumping a load into someone would be perfect!

I can hear that conversation;

Where on earth are you?

Oh, I’m at the annual Labor Day orgy. They’ve got Viagra and Cialis in candy dishes everywhere. I’ve been fucking for 48 hours straight. ‘Yeah man on your knees, suck my cock.’ Uhh, What did you need?” 

I wonder if I should play a porn really loud in the background when I call back? Do you think they’d get the picture? Probably not, no-one has introspection, respect, or common sense, anymore.

Cell phones have absolutely ruined us.

There was a time when you left a message and that was it. No one had expectations of immediate responses. These days, it’s what? An hour before someone is hammering on your phone again?

Who the fuck calls someone on a Sunday, holiday weekend or not, at 8 or 9 am? There are people who might be in a church pew at that exact time. You’re going to interrupt their prayers & worship time?

This whole thing reminds me of a client I dropped. This daffy queen would wait till the day before every damn holiday then call to demand I rework his company website so they’d have new holiday pricing in effect at opening of business the day after the holiday.

It wouldn’t have been quite as annoying if he paid his fucking bill or at least gave me a discount on his services. Hell, I’d have swapped services.

When I finally dropped him, I realized that he didn’t value my service and he didn’t value me as a person. I haven’t missed the annoyance.

The last time I looked at his site, it was a mess. I’m sure he was paying someone a shit ton of money for it too.

Time for me to do something constructive. I’m going to go burn some aggression off with yard work.

Fuck technology and our hyper connected world! I’ve turned off the message forwarding to my damn watch. So If I don’t have my damn phone with me, leave a message! 

I sincerely hope everyone else has a peaceful remainder of their Labor Day.

[For those of you wondering, the photos are from previous walks/hikes, (except the orgy scene,) since I forgot my big boy camera. I thought this post could use some color.]

That could have been a problem

I really want to get a new GoPro Camera.

I’ve been meaning to do it but keep putting it off due to the expense and / or waiting for the new model.

I’d like to get one for a couple of reasons. They’re not bad dive cameras with the right water tight enclosures. They’re good hiking and trail riding cameras and their still photos are really good too.

Ds 070 02_1 3204930131.All of this came to light again this morning as Jesse and I were on our walk. 

We often see wildlife on our walks and I’m never able to get him under control and be able to get my phone out and deployed one handed in time. I’d really prefer to have something simple that I could mount my iPhone to and be able to use the remote shutter function in my watch to control the phone.

That would be a simple single point solution for the hiking. The GoPro would then be mostly about diving.

Ef454549 3b78 470d b7cd b303863b0f5c.67efa08eb720b9154f279d0541857b17.I own an older GoPro but the batteries are tired and honestly, it’s always been a pain in the but to get photos or videos off the damn thing. I don’t like having to pay a subscription so that my photos and videos can be uploaded to the GoPro cloud, then back down to my computer. Or that directly connecting the USB C connector from the GoPro to my computer won’t allow direct transfer to my computer where I”m going to be editing the movie in the first place, but it works for recharging the camera. The only way to do anything directly is to remove the super small SD card from the camera, then download the files from that (using an adapter for the SD card and a dongle for the SD card adapter to the USB C port) to my computer.)

It literally was such a frustrating pain in the ass I stopped using the GoPro and canceled the $59 a year subscription. 

I suppose, I’m a minimalist. I have device A and device B in my hands (or on a table) both have comparable connections based on an IEEE standard so Silly me, I expect the connection to work.

I suppose that’s another reason that I’ve been holding off on buying another GoPro. I want to be able to return the fucker if contrary to their specifications getting data off the camera is a cluster fuck.

Anyhoo. I suppose I’m still a bit frustrated by GoPro’s design failures in the past.

All of this was underscored on my walk with Jesse today.

Jesse suddenly stopped, but was at full attention. He was looking at something very intently and at first I couldn’t see what had his attention. Often he’ll do this if there’s a very large lizard. Then I noticed the short dry grass moving in an unnatural way. Meaning, the breeze was going one way, and the grass was moving against the breeze. 

Then I saw a dark line, and realized it was a snake of some kind.

Jesse was curious, but cautious. He was, however moving slowly toward the snake as it was moving toward the path we were walking on. The snake had a dark grayish color, it wasn’t until it got closer that I caught a bit of a greenish undertone and saw the tail.

The 3 little knobs told the tale. I was looking at a young rattlesnake, based on the colors it was probably a Mojave green rattlesnake.

The photo shown is a professional shot. Looking at it, I think the snake we encountered might also have been nearing time to shed its skin. The nice triangular markings in this photo were not as obvious. I don’t know off hand if juveniles have different colors/patterns. 

Jesse remained fairly calm as we watched the snake pass us. But it was one of those times when I wished again for a POV camera strapped to my head, chest, or perched on my shoulder.

This snake paid us absolutely no mind at all. It passed behind us moving straight across the path we’d been walking on.

In other words, all was naturally harmonious. The snake couldn’t have eaten us and we had no reason to bother it. So three apex predators in our respective niches passed each other with due respect and nobody got hurt.

I’d have liked to have pictures and video of it because I like nature.  Jesse & I were in fact walking through the snakes and other predators territory. I like the mutual, “We’re going to leave you alone if you leave us alone,” vibe when we’re hiking.

Some of the deer we run across this time of year have figured out, try as he might, Jesse isn’t going to chase them. They often watch us closely, but don’t necessarily bolt unless we’re too close. They’re beautiful and I’d like to get photos of them. However, me raising anything shiny and metallic towards them will cause panic and in an instant they’re gone.

Some kind of mounting apparatus would be helpful to capture them in their natural habitat too.

Predator desktop background_1239232_286.The newer GoPro cameras appear to have corrected their initial design flaws regarding data transfer. I’m not entirely convinced but would be willing to try. 9/4 GoPro is releasing 2 new cameras so I’ll take a look and see if there’s anything that is worthwhile.

Maybe I’ll just keep shopping for something that works with my iPhone.

I’d really like a rig like Predator. Head tracking would be a lot of fun even if it was only a camera and not an energy weapon.

It is the Yellow time.

This happens every single year, sometimes it’s worse than other times. 

After the blizzard in 2023 all the water supercharged plants and there were days when I felt like I was living in a yellow fog. That was in addition to the fog I was living in anyway.

The most recent Winter wasn’t quite as wet, but there is still a little yellow fog when the wind blows, or I vacuum. 

Every tree and plant is doing the pollen thing. My sinuses are super pissed off!

Opening the windows which I prefer, since it’s not been too hot means I get to deal with a fine yellow layer of pollen every morning. I typically close the windows at night so in the stillness the pollen settles.

Eh I’m probably just bitching because literally everyone is getting laid, including the Trees and plants and I’m not getting any!

I’m just jealous.

Anyhow, I’ll be working to keep my sinuses clear for at least the next few weeks in hopes of avoiding any more serious sinus related issues. My sinuses being pissed off is one thing, them being infected is quite another.

Hope everyone is having a good week.

Oh WOW! I’ll never do that again!

What you might ask???

Yesterday, I dished out the last of some cottage cheese onto my plate for lunch. There were a few curds and milk still in the container.

I enjoy watching Jesse’s problem solving tactics, so I gave him the container knowing full well that I might end up cleaning a mess from the kitchen floor. I didn’t, Jesse almost immediately turned the container on its side then held it still with one paw while he licked the sides and bottom of the container.

I was amused but somewhat disappointed that he figured the puzzle out so quickly. I guess his time on the streets taught him a few tricks.

The problem came after lunch. One hour after lunch to be exact.

Jesse got the nastiest paint pealing farts ever! OMG! He was lying on the floor in front of me then let loose with a silent but deadly…

He had the audacity to look at me as if I was responsible. I told him, “No that wasn’t me.” He sniffed his butt and the heartbreak of the truth was written all over his face. He gathered what dignity he had left and walked out onto the deck.

The farts followed him and really harshed his buzz.

On his afternoon walk 4 hours later he was still laying eye watering gas attacks. At this point we could fly to Israel and volunteer to clear tunnels.

Honestly, I could feed him a tub of cottage cheese and just let him stand at the entrance to Hamas tunnels. They’d clear out in minutes.

I suppose that would be against the Geneva convention. Isn’t there some prohibition against gas and / or biological attacks?

Thank goodness we don’t have wallpaper in the house. It would have been pealing.

He was okay, but no dairy for him, other than occasional yogurt licks.

On the one hand I felt a bit sorry for him. His poos were solid so his stomach wasn’t upset or anything. He’s just had really nasty gas.

I discovered that It’s hard for me to tell him I love him when I’m gagging from another silent but deadly attack.

I hope your day was better than ours.