Christmas Letter from Hell!

Okay, not to bum anyone out.

I’m hoping that when you read about my year, you’ll feel immensely better about yours! If your year has been the same, or worse… At least you’ll know you’re not alone.

This has been an unbelievably bad year for me. (No, It’s not solely Biden’s Fault! To be honest though, he sure hasn’t done me any favors. Then again, when has the government done any of us any favors? Just Sayin!)

The year started okay. I was happy to finally have all the election bullshit behind us and was looking forward to actually finding a job.

I’ve found over time that the 6 months around Presidential election years suck for job searches. I’ve concluded that corporate America just holds its collective breath, (and the purse strings,) until they know which way the wind is going to blow for the next four years.

Late 2020 was no different. I’d assert that 2020 was more like a year where a two term president is being replaced after terming out. Since that usually results in a change of Presidential party, and corporate America is a lot slower to start hiring again afterward.

Just about the time corporate America was starting to settle down and ready to open their purse strings. Well then there was Delta. Ooopps! Yet another stutter.

At the end of March, one of my brothers took his own life.

Suddenly, the job search wasn’t all that important. I drove across country to attend the funeral, and spend time with the family. It was a difficult time, however, amidst the emotional trauma, there were good things. I got to spend time with my sister, and my other brothers. I spent time with my Mom, Stepdad and Aunt.

I was also able to confirm what I had suspected about my Mom. She’s fading. Her memory is developing faults. On her side of the family, I don’t know the processes leading to end of life.

On my Father’s side I know the process because there were many examples. Typically, Dads side it’s just someone doesn’t wake up. On my Mother’s side there are only two examples. One is my Grandmother who died quite young from a stroke, the other was my Grandfather. He died in his 80s one Sunday morning getting ready for church.

My Mother is in that later age range now. Since I was living across the country, I missed seeing the process with my Grandfather. Did he start slowing down? Did his mind start going? Was he napping more during the day?

My Mother and Aunt, have both beaten the 50% odds that they’d die young. There is some evidence that my Grandfather experienced the same kind of decline I’m observing in my Mother.

Thankfully, I’m not alone in my observations. My Sister detected some of the fade. My Aunt was more keenly aware but was keeping her own council, until I mentioned it.

Then once the subject was open, she and I synchronized our observations and found that each of us had noticed different things. Our sharing of information gave us both a more complete picture, and the beginnings of a plan to address the situation. Our hope is to make this time as easy as possible for my Mother.

Fortunately, my Aunt is as pragmatic as I am. We both know it will take all our strength and love to move through this with grace. We also know that we will have to share our combined strengths to carry each other through grief.

Our talking together, made what is to come less fearful. If for no other reason than we’re not alone.

I came home mid to late April without incident. I took a different route and saw some sights that I’d never seen. We live in a beautiful country. Seeing it slowly mile after mile is a lot of fun if you’ve got the time.

I’d been home about a month.

On a bright sunny day, while walking the dog, he took off after something in the bushes. That would have been fine except that I had my thumb hooked in the pocket of my jeans, and the four fingers of the same hand were holding the leash.

He is very strong and very fast. In this case he had enough leash to reach full speed before it locked. 60+ Pounds of dog moving at top speed then suddenly restrained by the leash. Physics tells us that approximately half that momentum will travel back along the leash to the point of restraint even as the heavy object at the end of the leash is yanked backward toward the point of restraint. With my thumb hooked in the pocket of my jeans all that force concentrated in the area of skin and tendons that attach the thumb to the palm of the hand.

There’s probably some elegant calculation that could determine the exact amount of force. Let’s just ditch the physics lesson and say it was a lot. The resulting gash where the skin tore was bloody all the way home, and painful for about 5 minutes.

I’m one of those people that feels the initial damage and then the damaged area goes numb. It’s still functional even though it’s a bloody mess. I’ve always attributed this peculiarity to my Nordic ancestry.

This is perhaps a specious attribution, but the logic behind it is that if you’re descended from a warrior people, swinging swords around and slashing at your enemies, you’d better be able to take some hits and keep on fighting.

So The dog and I walked back the 2 miles to the house. Along the way I decided that I needed to start carrying a first aid kit for each of us. I got home, cleaned and assessed the wound. Then I put the pieces of skin back into their rightful positions and bandaged it.

Later in the evening I re-cleaned and re-bandaged the wound with some better supplies. That was when the trouble started. In reworking the bandages and applying some antibiotic ointment a small bit of skin got turned under another piece of skin and began to really hurt in a strange way.

Off to the urgent care I go. I just wanted more skilled eyes looking at this mess. My concern was I didn’t want to lose functionality on the thumb joint when it healed.

Unfortunately, the urgent care was closed, but the emergency room (located in the same hospital) was open. 3 hours and $6000.00 later the Physician’s Assistant had corrected the problem and glued my hand back together. (At the time I didn’t know it was 6K.) Had I known, I would have said, “Thanks but no thanks!” Although I did get my tetanus booster so I guess that’s a plus.

Getting home at 3am didn’t help my disposition but at least now I could sleep.

The next day I slept off & on and the dog was very sweet keeping me company. He smelled and saw a lot of blood the day before and is smart enough to recognize one of the pack had been injured. He couldn’t lick the wound due to the bandages so he contented himself with licking the fingers of that hand.

Two days after the ripped hand. A very loud bang reverberated through the house. I was in the bedroom at the time and initially thought something had hit the house. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of water.

One of the pipes in the fire suppression system running through the ceiling had ruptured. There’s a lot of pressure behind these systems and in less than a minute the living room was flooded. Since it was obvious something broke, and there was no fire, I ran through the standing water to the basement so that I could shut the fire suppression system off.

In hindsight I should have let it run…

It was only after the valve was shut off and I was standing barefooted in the water that I remembered there were several power strips lying on the floor, now also in standing water.

When I’d purchased those power strips, I had planned well. I’d bought top of the line heavily shielded and sealed units. (there should be a saying like, “Buy the right thing the first time and you’ll never regret the purchase”) That is possibly why I didn’t have to make another trip to the emergency room.

This led to several months of living in 2/3 of the house. (Had I let the water keep running feigning ignorance of the operation of the valves, I could have spent those months in a nice hotel.)

Ahh Hindsight!

Instead, I did the right thing. There’s a lesson there. Nice guys and guys who do the right thing get screwed!

Anyhow the next few months were spent with strangers tromping in and out of the house. The remediation folks were a pain in the ass. The reconstruction folks were amazing! I’d already cleaned everything I could clean because I was worried about the dog licking up the antifreeze that had been in the pipes. I did this literally with one hand tied behind my back.

As it turned out, I heal faster than the house does. My hand was actually fully repaired about 6 weeks before the house was.

Due to the supply crunch we had to wait for materials. Some of the necessary materials were on ships and others were on trucks. Neither of which could navigate their way to distribution points. (Thanks Joe!)

During all the moving things around, walking the dog twice a day, and I think falling once on a hike I screwed up my knee.

This was near the end of the reconstruction and meant that I was laying on the bed with my knee on a pillow. There were days when I’d seriously choose to hold off going to the bathroom as long as possible simply because it hurt so bad to try to walk.

The other half took over the dog walking duties. Much to the disappointment of the dog since by that time he was used to walking 5 miles a day.

At one point, I couldn’t get my knee into my jeans because of the swelling. So I was in shorts and a knee brace for all of the summer and part of fall. Driving a clutch vehicle was iffy at best so I was also stuck here in the house.

I did get mad enough in September / October that I sanded and painted the trim of the house. That’s called boredom. Oh sure I paid for those days outside in the sun with my knee being pissed off, but being outside was so worth it. The house looks much better too.

Throughout all this time I was still sending out resumes and cover letters. I was applying to anything remotely in my field and getting no replies. Pretty much like I’d been getting no replies for the previous year of COVID.

Recently, I did a count of resumes / applications I’ve sent looking for a job. Over 2000 to date. Of that 2000+, about 10 companies were kind enough to reply, “Thanks but no thanks.”

The rest of them… Simply disappeared into the void.

November was quiet. Except for the endless bullshit in Washington DC. I was able to ignore some of it, but not all. We had a nice Thanksgiving. The dog really likes turkey!

Here we are in December, The insurance company and the remediation people are still having a tug of war with us in the middle. There are a couple of pieces of furniture that should be replaced but until they decide what, when, and how, I’m not going to take any action.

Winter arrived this week, snow and ice are on the ground and street. At this point I doubt any deliveries of new furniture pieces could be made. Ultimately it may work out for the best since it could mean less to move…

Due to this extended period of unemployment, my savings is dwindling to dangerously low levels.

I’m beyond ready to sell this house and move someplace warm.

So if I’ve seemed a bit edgier or distant than usual… Now, you know why.

Tis the Season…

Here we are in December.

Decorations are starting to go up around the neighborhood.

One neighbor’s decoration is a for sale sign. I’m not surprised about that, it’s gotta be tough for a single guy living up here. The local dating pool is really thin and most of the people he’s likely to date aren’t willing to to make the trek up here with any regularity. It can be lonely.

Given what he paid for the house, and the current market, he’s likely to make a profit on the sale. I’ll be sorry to see him go because he’s a decent guy. On the other hand he’ll drive the value up on all the houses on the street, so that’s welcome.

I’ve been trying not to look at the news with any regularity. At this point even the “normal” news is like doom scrolling. I thought I’d gotten away from that when I stopped using social media. Alas, I was wrong.

I’m just not very Christmasy. I haven’t been for several years. It’s just not the same kind of fun it used to be.

Some might say it’s the commercialism, others might say it’s the fact that some shopping areas put their Christmas displays up along with their Halloween displays. So that by the time you get around to Christmas, there’s nothing special about it anymore.

When I was a kid, there were three distinct holidays and the shops changed their displays each month. My first job at Toys R Us we changed the store during those three months. We worked overtime November 1, and November 20th to make the transition. November was a good paycheck month! It was a lot of work, and we were just transitioning from Halloween to Christmas.

The change was still magical. We knew that the kids coming into the store would light up seeing Christmas trees decorated in the aisles and empty boxes in bright wrapping paper stuffed under the fake tree branches.

These days, it’s like all the magic has gone. Sure, there’s holiday music blaring in all the shopping centers. The decorations are still out, although the last time I was in a shopping center at Christmas, a lot of the decorations looked shop worn. Oddly, decorations in the several shopping centers I visited, looked alike.

I remember years ago, part of the season’s fun was going from shopping center to shopping center because each one was unique in their decorating style.

If you stopped for a moment in a mall you’d see “character” and know that someone had put real effort into creating Christmas displays that were a delight to the eye. The yearly displays also changed making each Christmas special.

I suppose all that changed when people started dwelling on being offended by the season (or for that matter anything else). It really started changing when those people began winning court cases.

Of course all of this is California specific. It’s been very rare for me to be in other states during the holidays over the past 30 years or so.

These days, the majority of the holiday shopping experience is homogeneous. One mall or shopping center is very like another.

This may be due to a several factors. One is that the malls don’t want to offend anyone. The second factor is that so many of the malls are owned by the same conglomerate so they’re buying all their decorations in bulk. Lastly, the conglomerates may think that a consistent shopping experience across their properties is better for business.

I suppose you could argue all of these factors are beneficial. But I would argue that the “sameness” diminishes the joy of the season.

There was a time when we’d say, “Lets go to XYZ mall today,” now it’s, “let go to the mall.”

I’m trying to get in the mood. I really am. I’m looking forward to the annual shopping trip with one of my best friends. It’s not so much about the shopping as it is about the comradery. I think to some extent it hearkens back to our shared heritage of ancient hunting parties.

Only this annual trip has lots of eating and drinking as part of it unlike those hunting parties where cold and wet were often the norm. Halfway through the day we’re both fairly full of good cheer! That good cheer, might offset any shortages of goods due to the supply problems this year.

A couple of friends and I would laugh ourselves stupid if we came around the corner into this shopping area.

I hope the place had a PG rating.

Hmm. Maybe I’ve found a reason to be Christmasy, I can wander the local malls for examples of holiday decorations that tried really hard, but didn’t quite work out as planned.

Have a wonderful holiday season.

In honor of Thanksgiving…

I’m watching Addam’s Family Values.

It’s a fun romp.

I may revert to the annual tradition of the Alien Movies, or perhaps the 1950 and 1960 movies about invasions or space travel.

The movie selection is confusing I know…

The tradition of watching Alien on Thanksgiving dates back many years to happy Turkey Meals, good drinks, and Black Friday shopping with one of my oldest and dearest friends. (Let me tell you… HE’S OLD!)

It wasn’t intentional, it just so happened that we’d put on a movie from the Alien franchise drink, eat chips and dip and wait for the Turkey to be ready. As the Alien Franchise expanded we simply started with Alien earlier in the day. And so a tradition was born.

This year I need a little humor.

Addams Family Values has a great scene depicting a play about the First Thanksgiving. In the scene, a pretty rich girl is pitted against Wednesday Addams. Hilarity ensues from there.

I think that we all could use a large dose irreverent humor these days.

I know I’m already looking forward to having a drink, and watching all the familiar tropes of Summer Camp, Political Correctness, rich versus poor, and inclusion being put through a blender.

What comes out is just good fun.

Especially when you consider that the Addams Family wealth eclipses all of the nouveau rich depicted in the film. Then consider that Wednesday, comes down on the side of the outcasts and leads them to a “win” in a signature Addams Family way.

I personally find the camp scene more satisfying than The scene in Logans Run where Farrah Fawcet has her face blown off by the automated surgery robot.

Don’t get me wrong, I had nothing against Farrah, she was beautiful.

But there’s just something about her getting what’s coming to her after betraying Logan that is viscerally satisfying. I suppose that satisfaction is due in part to the fact that all too often those who really deserve a bit of Karma don’t get it.

I hope you all have a great Turkey Day and take some time to just take a breath, relax and enjoy something completely escapist.