Ya Know, I’d really like to wake up when the alarm goes off.

Lately though that has not been the case.

It’s a function of it being Summer and me leaving the windows open for the evening breezes. I fall asleep listening to the crickets and wind in the trees.

I might wake up if the dog shifts position, or jumps back up on the bed after getting a drink. I fall back to sleep quickly after he settles. There’s a security seeing his silhouette on the corner of the bed. I can tell in the darkness that he’s got his noise pointed toward the open sliding door. If anything were to be bold enough to come to the screen he’d be awake, letting me know about it.

The past few days it’s not been the dog who’s waking me up. It’s other humans!

Crazy Pants has taken to blood curdling screams sometime between 5:00 and 6:30 am. One of these days someone she lives with will realize that they can choke the life out of her and no matter how much she screams no-one will think to call the cops or report anything out of the ordinary.

Yesterday she started the morning by kicking or punching one of the men living over there. I don’t know exactly what she did but I woke to a male sound that reminded me of similar sounds guys make if they’re kicked in the balls or kicked in the gut. Moments later she was screaming about how lazy and useless, blah, blah, blah. After a few minutes a strained male voice was replying. There was an escalation of the argument and increase in volume then suddenly Crazy Pants was quiet. If he choked her, I’m not sure I’d be able to testify that he was in the wrong. She was screaming again this morning so apparently he didn’t choke her to death.

This morning the trash truck showed up at 6:15 am to pick up the trash that they’d not bothered to pick up on Monday. The recycling truck came through, but the regular trash truck didn’t. They needn’t have bothered, most of us pulled our trash cans back off the street because we don’t like cleaning up after the nocturnal critters that like to get into the trash. I’m one of the few folks on this street that still has bear proof trash bins. All the new bins supplied by the trash company have no locking mechanism at all. So raccoons, and other night critters attracted by kitchen scraps, sometimes turn the cans over, spreading the contents all over the street or yards.

There’s a reason the trash company issued bear proof trash cans years ago. But that’s been forgotten by some, and the newbies to town never think about the natural wildlife potentially in the area. It’s always funny when a newbie reports seeing a coyote and the old folks (like myself) respond with “And?” We’re expecting something more than, “I saw a coyote!”

Due to the tropical storm, we’ve had heavy construction equipment working in the wash up & down the canyon. This is the second time this year. The distinctive “Beep Beep Beep” starts around 6:45 right after the large diesel engines rumble to life. They even worked Saturday and Sunday so there was no respite from living in a construction zone.

Before they did the “Wash Improvement” we never had dump trucks, bulldozers, bucket diggers, or any of that stuff up here. Now it’s a yearly event.

I miss the silence of the forest, I miss seeing all the wildlife that we used to see in this canyon before the “wash Improvement project” destroyed the water source, habitat, and local environment. The construction sounds alone seem to drive away some animals.

It might have something to do with the time of year the construction starts. I miss having owls nesting near my house. Their hooting in the night was comforting. The red tail hawks moved much higher into the mountains. I’ll still see them soaring on thermals. Sometimes I’ll hear one snatching a small rabbit up out on some nearby open flats. I used to see them hunting all the time. They make spectacular dives, falling like a stone, flaring their wings out at the last possible moment claws extending, then bam! Their prey seems to just vanish.

Even the coyotes have left the canyon. It’s been years since I’ve seen a bear.

Maybe the trash company is right, there’s no need for the security of bear proof trashcans. The habitat has been sufficiently destroyed that humans don’t encounter their distant cousins anymore.

I want to be clear. This is not about climate change. This is about a man made environmental disaster committed in the name of flood control. This is about an environmental study that was incomplete at best, or the county purchased a “Rubber Stamp” at worst. There is still water in the wash. It’s just not accessible most of the time. This is due to the widening and flattening of the wash.

Before improvement, there was a stream about two feet wide and 2 to 3 inches deep most of the year, it only dried up in late Summer. This stream was fed from further up the mountainside. Up in the heights there are collecting pools that rainfall and snow melt keep full most of the year. Water from these collecting pools made its way down the wash splashing over rocks and down small waterfalls churning and bubbling until it made it to my level. The flowing water was cold, and clear. It provided life to all manner of critter that lived in the forest. You name any animal native to this region and we had it.

Walking along the rim of the wash in the early morning or evening you’d see deer, raccoons, sometimes bear, bobcat, cougar, and a variety of birds. It was possible to observe the phenomena of “Peace at the watering hole”. All the animals needed water so it was rare to see any hunting at the water’s edge. 50 yards from the water source all bets were off!

The “improvement” widened and flattened the bottom of the wash. The water still flows from the collecting pools as it always has. The collecting pools are beyond the reach of the county because they exist on National Forest Land therefore they haven’t been “improved”. The water flows down the natural creek bed to the place where the county “improved” things, when it hits the wide flat areas, it spreads out and soaks into the soil. Much of the water evaporates and for most of the year the bottom of the wash is a mud flat, instead of a place with abundant wildlife. Insects and small mammals can capitalize on what water is present, but animals larger than rodents can’t.

Man, once again makes a desert and calls it good.

Lately we’ve had a new “wake up” feature. There’s someone up the road who may be into those stupid wanna-be drift cars. Their only claim to being a “drift car” is a straight exhaust which is unbearably loud when the vehicle is going up a 15-20° incline anytime of day. It does seem especially loud at midnight though. Unfortunately, where there’s one wanna-be “drift car” others soon follow. Now there’s that noise several times in the evening and often right up to about 2 am. I don’t know what the hell they’re doing but the same cars drive up and down the street multiple times every night.

One car in particular leaves every weekday morning at about 7:30am. It’s annoying but I’m already up by then. I’d be up by then because my alarm is set for 7:15am. Not that I ever get to hear that waking me up if I’m home.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my alarm did in fact wake me. I made this discovery while I was on a cross country trip last year. I was staying in hotels and found that they were quieter than my home. Isn’t that a kick in the pants?

These are some of the things that go through my mind when I consider moving. The noise alone is reason enough for me to leave. But that begs the question where do I go?

Pulling up stakes is one thing, the question is, “where do you go that would be different?” I don’t want to trade one set of annoying issues for another set of super annoying issues.

I’m pretty sure I know what I don’t want, I don’t know exactly what I do want yet. Come Winter, I’ll have the house closed and the noise won’t be such a big deal. Maybe then I’ll have more restful nights sleep and sleep until my alarm wakes me.

Perhaps with more restful sleep will come answers to questions about where I go from here.

Well California really has it all!

In addition to fires, earthquakes, blizzards, mudslides, Santa Ana winds, the occasional tornado, and floods.

California can boast a hurricane warning, fleeting as it was. The hurricane warning has devolved into a tropical storm warning and will likely lead to mudslides and flooding.

I’m not sure how fires would stand up to this amount of rain but we could still get a few tornadoes out of this too.

My family in Florida is laughing their butts off. They were snickering about how the news was portraying this Hurricane. They saw it was a Category 4 and thought perhaps there was some danger so they called or texted to ask.

I pointed out that this was not the first hurricane I’d seen, it’s not even the first I’ve seen in California.

Most of the hurricanes roll up the Gulf of California, or they come from the Pacific, cross the Baja peninsula and die in Mexico’s desert region. Their remnants then make their way north into AZ, NM, or TX.

The rare hurricane that reaches the top of the Gulf of California degrades rapidly from hurricane, to tropical storm, to just a lot of rain as it makes its way across the desert and dumps a lot of moisture across southern California. Sometimes the rain gets to NV, AZ and UT.

In other words, it’s no big deal.

This Storm formerly known as Hurricane Hillary. Is unusual because it didn’t roll into the gulf of California. Instead it’s heading up the Pacific side of Baja.

It doesn’t matter too much though. The Pacific starts cooling down pretty rapidly as you go North.

Hurricanes typically like warm water and get their energy from it. That’s why most of the hurricanes on the East coast tend to form near the equator and then swing north through the Caribbean. Warm shallow seas provide a lot of energy. Or so I’ve been told by friends who know a lot more about weather than I do.

With all this information in my head and looking to the South, there is an 8000 Ft. Mountain between me and the storm. I figured Hillary would fall apart into a tropical storm by the time it got to San Diego and we’d just get a lot of rain.

As of this morning that appears to be holding true. I’ll have to wait and see this evening if the predicted wind will kick up. The rain might also present a bit of a problem but honestly I think I’m in pretty good shape.

The wash is thus far handling the water.

It’s just wait and see.

There’s supposed to be more rain tomorrow. Then Sunshine for the rest of the week.

Seems like today is a good day to watch a movie or read a good book.

Grooming day!

Oh boy!

Today I get to load up the dog for a trip to the groomer. He’ll be happy I’ll just be tired! The groomer in question likes Jesse and he seems to like her. His grooming appointments are more expensive than mine, and that’s saying something!

Well… if I have a massage As part of my monthly grooming I still have him beat.

I’m not going to know what to do with myself while he’s getting bathed, trimmed, fluffed and made ready for his close up.

Due to distances, this is going to take a huge chunk of the day. 1 hour or so just in transport to and from the appointment. He’ll be indisposed for about 3 hours.

It’s okay, I haven’t been taking him on a monthly basis. Mainly because the cost is prohibitive. I miss being able to take him to local folks who knew him. But the local folks have retired or moved elsewhere and the remaining “Locals” can’t keep an appointment.

The last local person I tried canceled 3 appointments in a row. Jesse and I never met her and I decided that she obviously didn’t want the business. She also was about as expensive as what I’m doing now, going to one of the big box groomers.

Previously, other locals, provided great services at reduced prices because they liked having regular business. We tended to book monthly appointments regular as clockwork. 60.00 for two well behaved dogs versus 80.00 for one.

Candy was the best. She let my retrievers run around, out of the holding cages (on nice days out in her yard,) until after their baths. Then they’d be in the cages for blow drying and out again. Those two retrievers were protective of each other and Candy figured out that working on them was easier if they could hold each other’s paws. They also liked her and she them. My boys knew how to wrap a person around their little fingers.

Jesse is excellent at wrapping people around his fingers, he’s not so good at doing what you’ve asked him to do. He’s getting better about it, every so slowly.

Well it’s time for me to get cleaned up and get this show on the road. I think a nap this afternoon will be in order.

On the plus side, this will mark the second day in a row that I’ve left the neighborhood. That’s a good thing because I’ve gotten to the point that leaving the house is an ordeal. I just hate dealing with people in general.

I like select individuals but the majority of folks… I can’t stand. I didn’t used to have this problem this bad, but isolation during COVID and isolation over the past 7 months has made me really antisocial.

Little excursions seem to help as long as I can avoid asshole drivers. I ran into a gentleman at Costco yesterday that said he’d noticed an increasing rudeness and even had people hit him with their carts as if he wasn’t there, or wasn’t human, or wasn’t worthy of courtesy.

We entered into this conversation right after a lady had run into me for a second time in the same aisle and… well I sort of let her have it.

There are reasons people like me don’t like people in general.

A lot of people have ZERO standards of behavior in public. I can’t educate everyone but I sure as hell don’t have to put up with them.

Thank goodness!

Okay, things are finally starting to bend to my will!

I know that sounds terrible! Maybe not terrible, just arrogant as hell!

The second car is in good shape, the overheating issue had been addressed.

I cleaned out one of the two dead trucks today and I’m sitting my ass on the couch! I got hotter than hell sorting through all the crap the other half left in his truck. It’s cool outside, but damn! Inside the truck it was hot and with no battery power I couldn’t drop the windows since they’re power.

I’m hoping my truck is in better shape. Although since the other half was driving it until he blew the engine, I have no idea how much crap he left inside.

I found all kinds of interesting things inside his truck. Hymnals for example, that I distinctly remember him being upset about misplacing. I found it amusing, I was laughing as I pulled stuff out. I used to tease him that he had too many places to lose things. I’d get a glower and go hide in the office.

Now I can schedule the dog for his grooming appointment, I can pay the registration on the other halfs car, (Needed a SMOG Certification). This clears the way for me to be able to load and transport the boxes and boxes of music to where they can be sorted. I’m working toward getting rid of the dead trucks and feel like I’m moving forward.

Tomorrow the backflow inspection is happening it’s only 3 weeks late! Another one of those things that you can’t just call and schedule. The folks who do this service, want to schedule a lot of stops at once. I get it, It’s not cost effective to send someone 30 minutes up the hill and then 30 minutes down the hill for one 15 minute appointment. So folks that do this kind of thing want a cluster of inspections in town because it makes the trip worthwhile. Especially now with gas prices what they are, and considering that a lot of these inspection guys are plumbers and therefore driving a truck with a lot an equipment. Coming up the hill costs a bunch of gas.

I’ll be sad to see our old trucks go, yeah they’re non-functional but they’re from a time when we were both younger and healthier. They need to go, they’ve needed to go for years. But there’s a nostalgia associated with them.

As with many of these kinds of things, it feels like I’m letting go of “US”. This is normal. In fact I am letting go of stuff that didn’t add to our relationship or life and now it adds even less.

I’ve sort of concluded that donating the music folios will be a good thing insofar as buying me back a lot of space. If this music was sorted, I might consider putting it up for sale. Some of the items are kind of rare. I’m not qualified to curate it all. The other problem is I don’t even know what he had.

To be honest I’m not sure that he knew what he had. I’ve found a few duplications of music here in the house, he had two storage areas, neither were anything other than “stacks”, it’s no wonder he lost track of what he had versus what he thought had been lost in the fire.

The music and Truck should be taken care of this month. That leaves the stacks of junk stored in the basement. Toss it? Or should I set it up for the Labor Day garage sales???

I’m still thinking about what to do…

One of those nights…

I’m tired but not able to sleep.

I was sorting some of his music and there’s something about seeing his handwritten notes in books that he played from every week that makes me feel blue.

I’ve been packing up things that I won’t be needing. DVD’s CD’s and their players since all the movies are streamable as is the music. I’ve been considering packing up the ethernet switch and relying on WiFi only. The switch handles all the CAT-6 cable connections throughout the house. Removing it would disable all the wall sockets.

The new computer, and iPad have the latest WiFi radios and provide more than acceptable speeds wirelessly.

The goal is to have all the tech that can or will be shipped boxed. There are a couple of items of tech that I’ll be transporting with me, so that I have them ready to use when I get wherever I’m going.

The same is true of kitchen appliances / utensils / glasses and dishes. I might not be actually taking these things with me, but I don’t have to have them occupying space, especially if I’ve got little need to use them.

I hope to have both the cubbies in the dining room empty by the weekend. It’s hard going through all the materials.

Some of the paperwork is more than 7 years old and once I’ve figured out the date, I’m pretty quick to put stuff on the shred pile. The trouble is that old and new are mixed in a jumble and that jumble isn’t sorted in any way. I’ve been sorting in a gross way. “Banking”, “Utilities”, “Paystubs”, and “Other” if the paperwork passes the initial date check. Doing a subsort of each major category is easier and provides a little crosscheck. For example, all the utilities end up sorted by provider and date.

I see some banker’s boxes in my future where all of this stuff can be filed and properly stored.

This all sounds like it’s a tedious time consuming mess. It is. However it must be done because there are still taxes to be filed and paid.

Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean the fucking government isn’t making your shit someone else’s troubles.

I really do hate the government. State and Federal, they’re parasites of the worst kind.


The dog has gone to bed. I’ve poured myself a second drink. I’ve become very much aware that my writing has suffered over the past year. I was reviewing some of the blog posts I’d written going back a couple of years.

It wasn’t advanced narcissism, I was looking for a piece I’d written a while ago. I haven’t found the piece, but I did notice a distinct difference in my writing. The time at the shithole company in San Diego, plus my concern about the other half, and all the other stresses in my life are visible in my style, choice of words, and even subject matter.

I need to write my way through the darkness. I need to get back to the quick turn of phrase and making my point.


For someone who has hated politics all my life, I’ve dedicated considerable keyboard time to it. I’m honestly not sure what that is about. I’d like to think I have something of interest to say, but I don’t think that’s entirely true.

The more likely truth is that I reached an age where I was able to compare the political system that I grew up understanding and being taught, with the system as it is today. In that comparison, either I’ve discovered significant differences or lost my naïveté.

I’m not sure which, if either is true. I only know that there are serious differences. Those differences have caused a dissonance that I’m having a hard time resolving.

I don’t think of my sudden interest in politics as fear, or white nationalism, or whatever else the SPLC might come up with. I’ve always believed there was a certain low level corruption in the political system and that corruption was held in check by there being more honest people in politics than dishonest ones. But now I’m faced with corruption that I can’t ignore and questions that are not being answered despite investigations and inquiries.

As a citizen, I believe that I deserve answers. Moreover, I deserve to see these bad actors perp walked out of the halls of power and into the halls of prison.

I’ve also come to believe that it’s a very good thing I’m not holding my breath.


I found a printout of a series of messages that the other half had with an artist friend of ours. Time flies! The other half was inviting our friend over to have a three way. I remember the night well and blogged about it too.

This is the first time I’ve seen the messages that led up to the three way. It appears that the other half had absolute faith that I could handle both of them. It was his overselling of my skills that led to me being somewhat annoyed at the other half because there is only so much sexual gymnastic magic I can perform in a night.

Nonetheless, reading the message thread and remembering that night put a smile on my face.

I could use a little human tough right about now, but I’m not into being with complete strangers. I really want to get to know someone before we’re having sex.

It was a really good night!

I suppose in the near term I’ll have to be content with the large selection of X-rated movies. It is extremely unlikely that I’ll find anyone close at hand who would like to develop a friendship prior to getting naked.


It’s time to go to bed.

I hope you’ve had a better night’s sleep than I have.