Tag: Assholes

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For a completely different rant…

Yeah i know, I’ve been a little angry lately. I’m trying to get it out of my system and understand why I’m so pissed off.

Let’s just say this, I’ve been dealing with a lot lately and for the foreseeable future things aren’t going to let up.

I’m ignoring my Mother about 2/3 of the time. I feel terrible about it but I really can’t take her asking about people and me having to be the grimm reaper, informing her that they are all dead!

It wouldn’t be so bad once, but having to go through the details every time we talk is a super bummer. She also gets mad because she claims that no one told her…

Uh… Some of the people she’s asking about, have been dead for decades. I’m pretty dang sure it came up at least once between then and today.

She of course refuses to believe she was ever told, preferring to remain the victim.

I was thinking to myself perhaps Jesse and I could use a spa day.

He could run around all day with other dogs under a nice trainer’s supervision and then he could go get a bath, nail trim and brushing.

I on the other hand would be in a nice massage, perhaps a salt scrub, and just absolute zen. Perhaps a nice wine or fruity cocktail.

For those old enough to remember the phrase, “Calgon take me away…” I can tell you I’m so far beyond what Calgon could do, I might as well be in another star system.

I need a place where you drop all your tech into a little basket that’s locked up as two burly musclemen open massive golden doors leading out of a reception area and into a place that looks like the garden the Fey played in in “True Blood”

Probably too much to ask… But it’s a nice fantasy…

I mention all of this to frame my mindset as I walked into a Chase Bank branch today.

My purpose was to pay off a HELOC that had been rendered completely useless the moment Washington Mutual was purchased by JP Morgan Chase.

This was not too long before the house burnt and honestly, that HELOC line of credit would have been really helpful during the rebuild.

We attempted to get an explanation from JP Morgan Chase, as to why the credit line was frozen, and also tired to get them to unlock the line of credit. Our household income was over 100K per year at the time.

Note I said attempted to get answers. We couldn’t, and no-one at Chase seemed to understand we weren’t trying to get a new loan, we weren’t trying to change the terms of the HELOC or anything else. We just wanted to know why the line of credit was inaccessible.

The equity in our home was well over 200K at the time the place burned. Then the housing bubble popped.

Fortunately, we had full replacement insurance house and contents. That meant the housing bubble really didn’t do much to us.

On the one hand, the line of credit would have been helpful, on the other hand It’s possible that we could have been hurt by it.

That being said when we opened the HELOC the bank wanted to give us 200K as a line of credit. I told them, “No, lets do 60K which allows for us to make realistic improvements to the house and not start drowning in debt.”

The bankers at the time looked at me like I was insane. The other half said nothing and later wondered aloud how I’d done the math. Turns out I was right and the HELOC was just perfect. Or WOULD HAVE BEEN had the line of credit not been locked for no reason.

Oh JP Morgan Chase… you’ve made an enemy in me…

We’d accessed the HELOC to make improvements on the house among other things. Those improvements were underway when the place burned. That left us with a mortgage, a 2nd in the form of the HELOC and a smoldering pile of charcoal. (I’m over stating it a bit.)

During the rebuild, the insurance company was putting the place back together based on the plans for the improvements and the original blueprints for the house. Generally speaking, It worked out okay.

Chase however never explained themselves, and never unfroze the credit line. So essentially it was a payment on a useless line of credit that should have been rolled into the first mortgage when Chase sold my mortgage to some fly by night loan servicing firm. But that would have been far too logical.

Chase had through the years really pissed me off, repeatedly.

I constantly had the following problems with Chase.

Web access and their Mobile access only worked about 10% of the time. It was so bad that I’d actually get surprised if I was able to log in and would put off banking because their online access was so shitty.

They’d change passwords on my account for my safety and convenience. Yeah, you read that right, Chase would lock me out of the accounts then change the password then force me to call them to get back in.

They also started asking for some silly assed numeric code or security phrase whenever I called them. Apparently they’d change that one too if I didn’t use it enough. But they wouldn’t tell me they’d made the change.

After 4 consecutive debit card replacements that I couldn’t activate, I gave up. The other half did all the ATM shit with Chase.

Excessive fees improperly charged to the account. Then when we’d call them on those fees they’d say, “Ooops our mistake…” But they never adequately explained why they thought those fees should be billed to our account in the first place.

When Chase sold the mortgage I really questioned why I needed Chase Bank in my life.

I stopped dealing with Chase. The Other half would maintain a balance to pay the mortgage and the 2nd and stash a little money automatically every month in the savings account for Christmas. That was it.

He dealt with them and their bullshit much more than I did.

When he died, I started really looking at all the accounts so nothing went wrong.

As I was looking at the Chase account. I realized since Chase no longer held the mortgage I could move the payment to another bank and close the Chase Checking, and Savings. All I needed to do was transfer the balance of the checking and savings account to the HELOC and all three accounts would be out of my hair.

You’d think this would be easy.

Youd be wrong

It took almost 2 hours and 3 different people to work through all of this, at a BRANCH.

The complexities were over the top. You’d think that anyone in that branch could pull up a current payoff, then do simple subtraction… But No, the balance the representative was getting on his screen was different from the balance on their mobile application which praise Jesus, was working and displaying on my phone. Finally, they converted the checking and savings account cash to a cashiers check then placed a call to figure out what the payoff was. The phone call provided another completely different answer. So what the fuck?

I’m sorry, if all this crap is in your computers, then why isn’t it available? And why was a cashier’s check necessary? Chase had all the funds, it was a matter of applying them. You know… debits / credits, accounting processes, basic banking that you learn from playing Monopoly… They were very very concerned about the payoff balance which was less than $2500. Trust me the amount of interest was less than a cup of coffee.

But… and this really pisses me off.

These motherfuckers added a $65.00 fee to cancel the lein the HELOC placed against the house.

Are you shitting me? These fucks, in addition to getting interest for all the years the HELOC had a hefty balance, decided to twist the knife one last time at payoff?

JP Morgan Chase, I swear to God, I’ll do my level best to pay off any other debts to you, as quickly as possible. and I will never darken your door or do business with you again.

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Great Job you MORONS!!!!

Thanks a million you TQ2+ (Insert random characters, glyphs, and numbers)

We of the LGB community want a fucking divorce, and we want our LGB community back from you.

We spent a shit ton of time and effort to calm down the church folks and the rabid conservatives. Anyone remember the controversy surrounding Anita Bryant?

We worked super hard getting the majority of people to realize that all we wanted was the ability to have all the rights marriage effortlessly conferred. We didn’t want anything more or less than equality and to live with who we loved.

In a very few short years you motherfuckers in the arbitrary, (I’ll be Trans today,) or gender fuck drag community have fucked us all.

In truth, the majority of the world doesn’t give a fuck about how anyone gets their rocks off. The general population doesn’t care that you’re trans or whatever. Most of us just wish you’d deal with your shit and leave the rest of us out of it. We really don’t care, and just wish we didn’t have to hear about it all day, every day, or deal with your bastardization of the language.

Here’s a simple question for you to ponder. What part of, “I don’t give a shit,” don’t you understand?

That’s coming from a gay guy.

Have any of you morons heard the religious right lately? A lot of them who used to be at least tolerant, sound worse than Westboro Baptist Church now. (Look it up, godhatesfags.org)

They’re quoting the book of Revelations about the vomitous abortion you’ve made of the rainbow flag. By extension they’re trying to rally around taking back the rainbow flag in God’s name.

Personally I don’t think we need a flag anymore and you assholes have sure screwed that pooch (No! Not your friend in Puppy Play Drag! Don’t get me started on this…)

When folks start whipping themselves into a frenzy over a deity who doesn’t make his or her intentions clear, you get rabid revival tent preachers claiming that God spoke to them and demanded action from the faithful.

You want to see what that looks like? Look up gay murders or executions in Muslim countries. There are plenty of videos of their faithful tossing Gays off roofs.

Historically, “Thou shalt not Suffer a Witch to live,” Had some serious consequences during the inquisition and / or Salem witch trials! Remember… It’s a short step to, “Thou shalt not suffer a fag to live.”

You got a sampling of it at the Dodgers Game over the weekend. That crowd was mostly pissed off and offended Catholics.

Great job, you’ve set us back 40 years and you’re too selfish and stupid to recognize the danger or the damage you’re causing.

Moreover, you’re going to have the LGB community siding with the conservatives and religious folks in this battle.

Because…

WE THINK YOU’RE WRONG

We’re tired of hearing about your perceived grievances.

At least those of us honest enough to speak our minds are.

We know full well that there’s a bunch of our ultra progressive brothers and sisters who will excommunicate or cancel us.

I say so what? I’m also pretty sure that there are a lot of folks like me, who resent the annoyance of using your pronouns or trying to figure out which bathroom symbols mean “Men’s room”.

Half the time I’m tempted to go behind a building and piss on a wall. This is especially true if I’m a little tipsy.

One of the new symbols looks like some kind of weird clock and I’m not sure what time it’s supposed to indicate. I really resent having something as simple as taking a piss being made complicated with gender ideology bullshit.

The simplest solution is not new and confusing symbology. The solution is a sign that says, “Bathroom”. If there are two doors with the same signage social convention would have people knocking before attempting entry and waiting their turn.

Ain’t it funny how the old or simplest solutions often work the best?

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Well the bitch still succeeded didn’t she?

Rick & Morty, an adult animated show is in the process of recasting one of the show’s creators voice roles.

Justin Roiland was accused earlier this year of felony domestic abuse. Mind you he had not been convicted, but that didn’t stop Adult Swim from pulling him from the show.

Here’s the really shitty part. All the charges were dropped Roiland said at the time the charges were filed, that he believed that a disgruntled Ex-girlfriend was attempting to get revenge by having him cancelled. Well that may be true but the bitch still won.

An Article from UPROXX is located here

This is one of the reasons that I don’t really want to return to work with corporate America. Women have demonstrated time and again that there are completely willing to destroy someone’s career for nothing more than petty vengeance. I’ve witnessed it at the last place I worked.

I’ve also witnessed Male persons of color getting away with sexual harassment of white women. And because the white women weren’t believed when they reported something, they became targets for more and more abuse. So much so that they left the company. It’s in effect sanctioned racism and sexism but no corporation will ever admit this happens. In fact they’d accuse me and the other people who made statements to HR of lying. Corporate America will say, “It doesn’t happen and has never happened!”

But it does and did.

It’s another example of double standards. Roiland is white, and Male. All it takes for him to lose his job is an accusation from a person he once dated.

Males of Color on the other hand are credibly accused by multiple witnesses of groping white women’s breasts and feeling those women’s asses and HR says, “It’s their culture. They meant nothing by it. You just don’t understand.” Then later, officially nothing happened and nothing was done. So much for that vaunted Zero Tolerance policy.

I’d like to have a job. I’d take 2/3 of what I was being paid if I could work from home and not have to deal with corporate politics. I’d join the video conferences and such but I probably wouldn’t speak.

I literally have become suspicious of the motivations of practically anyone in corporate America. There have been way too many times when something I said was misquoted, or taken out of context, or misunderstood and some jackass from some other department decided something had to be done.

There once was a Director of my department who found themselves on a plane at 37,000 feet flying from Florida to California when they discovered that they only had half of a story. Then when they got the rest of the story, realized that I was probably loaded for bear and had my attorney on speed dial.

They were entirely correct!

The problem was a female boss who couldn’t stand that I was dragged into a lot of meetings. She had a real problem that I didn’t answer her instant messages instantly.

I should point out that more often than not her instant messages were, “How’s your day going?” If I answered, “Very Busy.” It led to a third degree, 25 minutes of instant messaging and a 30 minute phone call. God I hate passive aggressive shit! This particular bitch couldn’t count butts in chairs to validate she was in control so she resorted to inane questions that she shouldn’t have been asking if she actually knew what she was doing

I only had a desktop computer. Since the meetings I was attending were not at my desk, but were instead in conference rooms throughout the building, obviously I wasn’t going to be able to answer her silly instant messages instantly. For that matter, most of the conference rooms didn’t have Wifi so a laptop wouldn’t have helped all that much either.

Not to mention that it’s rude to be in a meeting with a Vice President and carrying on a conversation with someone else via instant messaging.

After costing the company 5 to 10 thousand dollars in travel expenses for the director and herself, she was only demoted. She should have lost her job. She didn’t because she was a girl and I was an evil testosterone poisoned male. I still should have sued the shit out of the company because that bitch lied and slandered my name throughout the company.

It’s stuff like this that make men like me super cautious about working for women. I’ve had way too many female bosses.

I guess now the bitches don’t even have to work at the same company you do. All that has to have happened is that you fucked them and broke up with them. How could you decide their so called “golden hole” wasn’t worth the pain or expense necessary to use it?

I hope Rick & Morty survives but if it doesn’t we’ll be able to thank another lying bitch for taking something else enjoyable away from the rest of us.

Amber Heard – I’m looking at your abusive lying ass!

I hope Roiland sues the living shit out of the woman that falsely accused him.