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Wow! The other half had a lot of musical scores in digital format.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have much of a filing system for either Paper or Digital scores.

Screenshot 2023 09 30 at 7 29 50 AM

I’ve been trying to collect up all the music (Digital and Paper), and sort it with the intention of making sure that it got to the people that could use it and who would appreciate the effort.

I’m using a 32GB thumb drive now and unlike previous attempts will hopefully not run out of space.

I’ve also been finding a lot of duplications. I suspect that is in part due to the lack of a filing system and in part it might be further evidence that he’d been “off” for a while and was doing a damn fine job of hiding that fact from me.

No, I’m not angry about it. I’m just a little sad. He did his life, his way, as do I. We called “Shotgun” on each other’s journey through life and rode together for a long time. It’s cool, even if I am a little sad about the way things went from time to time.

As an aside, I have no clue how music is supposed to be catalogued, or indexed, or anything else.

I’m just doing what seems “Right” with the music much the same way I’ve done with every other curveball that’s come my way over the past 10 months.

In addition to the actual musical scores, some of which are only identifiable by opening them. (I’m fixing that slowly but surely.) I’ve also run into actual recordings where he was playing and recording into GarageBand either via a MIDI connection or he was using a microphone. Hearing him play has been somewhat jarring because I recognize his style and technique. It’s okay, but I’m still prone to crying over stuff like that, because the memories of him practicing a particular piece come flooding back. 

I’ll be a little sad over not being annoyed and hiding out in the office as he played the same measure over and over again trying to get it just right. In a way it was like RAP with Classical music!

I hate RAP!

As I typed that, I was smiling through misty eyes.

I’m sorting the music as best I can. If something has Hebrew characters in it, then it’s obviously going into the Jewish music folder. If it’s written in Russian It’s probably a fair bet that too is going to be Jewish Music. That is also true of German and Spanish.

I’m so out of my depth!

I’ve been looking for keywords in the scores. If I find anything that is recognizably Hebrew or Yiddish I know where to file it.

Christian music is a little easier because there I only have to scan for “Jesus” or Holy Ghost or Father, Son and Holy Spirt. You don’t find those kinds of references in Jewish Music.

Things start to get dicy when there are no lyrics, only the musical notation. If the title isn’t obvious, then I’m in a bit of trouble. 

If I can sound it out and recognize the roots or the rhythm of the piece  then I’ve got a shot at getting it in the right place. Some music is instantly recognizable as Jewish when you hear it.

I recognize the names of many classical pieces, or at least the composer so those scores go into the Classical Folder.

But wait! There’s more…

The harp music, the organ music, the piano, harpsichord, and even accordion music is all in one big assed digital pile.

For him, this presented no problem. He’d open an arrangement and know exactly what instrument it was for just by looking. Hell, I think sometimes he didn’t care what the score said the instrument was supposed to be. I think he’d just figure it out on the fly. That’s what a classically trained musician can do. It’s a skill built up over a lifetime and it’s amazing to watch in action.

I’ve been trying to sort the Harp and keyboard music into separate folders. Some of the folks that will be looking at this are classically trained musicians, but others aren’t.  Some of the amateur choir members can carry a tune and read music, but I know the other half curated very carefully what he gave to the choir.

It wasn’t about him disrespecting them, it was about not wanting to frustrate them with super busy scores. Sometimes he’d sit down and manually do choir only notation as a new file that he’d print here. Then we’d assemble the choir books if he wanted or needed my help.

I was probably next to useless because I didn’t read music. But I could follow instructions, run the printer, punch holes in pages, and we’d be spending the time together.

I know I could just hand all of the over to “Real” musicians instead of a hack like me. One reason that I don’t is because also mixed in this big pile of musical scores are receipts, and medical evaluations, and all the usual documents that one accumulates. So I have to be the one that filters all of this stuff out. 

Some of the pieces of music where he’s actually playing are in Apple only formats. Not a problem for me… But the Synagogue and Church are Windows based. So I’m letting my super fast computer handle processing the music into something universally playable. That takes time. Not much in the way of computer time, but time listening to the various edits and editions to determine which one is most likely to be the “Final” version that he’d want distributed.

Perhaps I’m doing all of this as much for me, and the other half, as I am for the Synagogue and Church.

It’s tedious, and time consuming. But I’m hoping to construct something that he’d be proud of. 

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DAMN! I hoped to not need the heat…

For at least another week or two. I was drawing runes on the floors asking Odin for another month without needing it. 

But alas, when I woke this morning, the house was in the low 50’s. That is too dang cold!  So I broke down and kicked the heater on.

I don’t like being super coldDSC0174, but I like even less the high cost of Natural Gas and don’t want to pay another outrageous bill like January and February of this year. This coming winter, my place is likely to be much colder than in years past.

With the other half’s harps out of the house I can keep it cooler because I’m not risking damage to the harps or having strings break due to the temperature.

My guitars, on the other hand, are going to be sharp as hell! So I’ll need to retune them frequently until the temp stabilizes.

I guess this means that Autumn is really here.

On the one hand perhaps the risk of fire danger is lower, on the other hand, It may feel like, the endless winter from Narnia. 

No matter, it’s a milestone. Another season passing. The first Autumn in many years that I’ll be alone. Later today, I’ll dig out my seasonal jackets. 

Life goes on. I need to get out and socialize a bit more, even if it means dealing with what passes for human beings these days.

I also need to observe humans interacting if I’m going to write stories containing humans. I’ve been thinking that perhaps a Jane Goodall approach might be appropriate. I’ll venture out into the wilds of Palm Springs, and begin observations without interacting until they don’t see me as a potential rival or threat.

I suppose I also need to check the Autumn “ToDo” list. There are a few things that need to be done before it gets to the point that I’ll need winter gloves when I’m outside. That’s a month or two away, but it seems unusually cold for this time of year. Oh perhaps it’s normally cold, and we’ve been experiencing warmer than “normal” fall weather for the past few years. 

Either way, it doesn’t change that there’s stuff I need to get done.

I’ve agreed to take a neighbor to a medical appointment on Wednesday. Perhaps while I’m waiting on him, I’ll head out to a local hardware store for supplies that I’ll need to winterize the house. I’m not going to get any painting done this year thanks to the flood control guys. Sand, dust, and debris blowing into wet paint just doesn’t look right.

It’s okay, if it’s a rough winter as predicted, I’d probably have to paint again come Spring, especially if I sell the house.

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How I know it’s time to go home…

Alright, I’m not proud of this but I’ve got to own it.

I went shopping on Thursday. I drove a ways to get to a shopping center where there was a Costco, Petco, Boot Barn, Office Depot, and a Ralphs all in close proximity to each other.

I actually had a pretty nice time. I got some sweatpants and underwear at Costco, picked up some USB memory sticks at Office Depot, got dog treats at a very nice Petco and shopped the Boot Barn because I like boots.

I’m not Imelda Marcos… BUT I COULD BE!

I also got my steps for the day in. The only time I had to move the car was to go to the Ralphs grocery store. It is close to all the rest of the stores but is still a few blocks away.

Getting into the parking lot was easy and the lot itself was pretty empty. I scored a parking spot right next to the Handicapped spots, grabbed my shopping bags and went to buy groceries. When I come out, I’m in a pretty good mood although I wasn’t thrilled with the cash I’d just spent. 

Bigstock Single Car In Empty Parking Lo 3211233

I was thinking as I put groceries into the trunk that I’d need to see how far I could stretch the food and do better at coupons and such. Turning to get the next bag out of the cart I notice a car double parked with the driver waiting inside and watching me.

Yep! The fucker was waiting on the spot I was in, with a parking lot full of empty spots. But this asshole was waiting on my spot. He Literally could have driven to the next aisle over and parked his piece of shit nose to nose with my vehicle. The parking spot in front of my car had been empty when I pulled in and was still empty.

But NOOOO!

This fucker needed to have the spot I was occupying, and he was creating a traffic jam to do it. 

I’m Sorry but this kind of stupid shit really sets me off.

In thinking about it I think it pisses me off because in a way it’s passive aggressive, it’s bullying, and it’s trying to rush me. That may not have been what this moron was trying to accomplish but it sure as hell is how it felt to me!

I can understand this behavior at Christmas when the lots literally have zero spaces available. But mid day in a lot where there are tons of other spaces to park??? Nah it’s bullshit!

I tried to shrug it off. Then I got into my car and realized that I couldn’t see the son of a bitch. I knew he was there and I knew he’d crowded the space enough that I might not be able to make the turn out of the parking space to go the direction I wanted to go. I might have to, because of this asshole, go the opposite direction, then have to thread my way through pedestrian traffic and other people trying to park and maneuver around this guy.

It’s at about this time, my ASSHOLE switch got flipped!

I refused to go the direction this fucker was trying to impose on me. I chirped the tires backing out of the parking slot and came within inches of hitting this fool. He managed to back up just in time.

I wasn’t done! I was really pissed off because what had been such a lovely shopping experience has suddenly turning into confrontation due to a rude thoughtless selfish motherfucker.

I went to the end of the lane and came around again just in time to roll my window down and tell this stupid fuck exactly what I thought of him, his family, his mother’s marital status when he was born, and suggested that he’d eaten too much lead paint when he was a child. (Yes I could say many of these things because the dumb fuck was about my age and he’d understand what I was saying.)

I also pointed out that there were no less than six other empty parking spots all equidistant from the grocery store’s door that he could have selected and that in the time he was waiting for me to pull out, he could have been in the damn store doing his shopping.

Then I drove off flipping him the bird out my sunroof!

That was only the beginning.

VehiclesTraffic was okay until I got within 10 miles of home. At that point one of the traffic behaviors that sends me into a blind rage was in full effect. 

All the lanes were moving at the same approximate speed with a mile or two of wide open space ahead of a bunch of drivers like sheep blocking all the lanes. They were pacing the 18 wheelers.

This is something that has been happening a lot lately on the freeway to my exit. There’s no reason for it, it just seems as though everyone decides to start playing pace cars while they’re drooling on themselves.

This is also why it often takes over an hour to go 20 miles near my place. There’s no rhyme or reason, just everyone gets stupid at the same moment. The spell lasts until one or two drivers like myself, a.k.a. impatient with stupidity, manage to punch through and accelerate away from the slack jawed crowd. 

It’s like once the morons see cars moving away, they decide to catch up. I’ve wondered sometimes if there was no change, no outside influence, would these people just keep slowing with everyone else until they came to a stop.

I’ve rarely seen this driving behavior outside California. I saw someone similar once passing through Phoenix but didn’t think anything more about it because so much of Arizona is full of California drivers.

Werewolfbreakingfree

Past New Mexico, driving across country you don’t see this kind of stupid. I take that back… Houston does it. 

I punched through passing a fucking Prius doing 60 in the fast lane where the speed limit is 70. Then made it to my exit, I was by this time in no mood to take the long way which is also less steep up the mountain. I hit the steep windy road and did 90 all the way.

I need to watch for mounting impatience with idiot people and leave for home at the first sign. If I wait and continue to deal with “The Stupid” I’ll lose my shit.

Unfortunately, sometimes “The Stupid” comes looking for me, and then, well, I’m probably gonna respond with howling insanity and make a fool out of myself.

The other half really did a remarkable job of holding me back from the abyss. I miss him and his calm reassurance. I also miss him reading me and sometimes deciding it was time for us to leave a place, or him taking me someplace quiet so I could cool down.

Maybe I’m still a little more raw than I think I am. 

He’d have said the guy waiting on my particular space wasn’t doing what he was doing to annoy me, he’d have said the guy was probably just completely checked out or had smoked too much dope. I’d have asked why I was the one always having to give everybody a pass. 

He’d smile and say, “Because you’re a smarter, better person, and better Man than they are…”

Yeah, he was working me! Stroking my ego to calm me down. 

So What?!? It was one of the innumerable ways that he said he loved me every day.

I hope each and every person knows that kind of love.

I also hope that each and every one of the moronic drivers on California roads learns to drive or can’t afford the gas to drive.

I’m trying to be a better man… I’m not there yet!

😁

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Dianne Feinstein is dead.

Condolences to her family.

Unlike the radical left, who dance on anyone’s grave that they disagree with,  I’m not going to jump for joy or say nasty things about her.

I didn’t agree with a lot of her policies. I really took offense when she was questioning a Marine a while ago and took him to task for politely using M’am instead of Senator. As in “Yes M’am” not “Yes Senator Feinstein”

I thought she was being overbearing and demonstrated how out of touch she was not only with Southerners (which the marine in question was,) but also with the Marine Corps itself who taught a level of decorum which included the use of the term “M’am”.

It was at that particular moment that I lost respect for Dianne Feinstein. At that moment she looked like she was more interested in badgering and bullying a young Marine than hearing his answer to her question. In that moment, I interpreted her entire career as about power not public service. 

I’ve thought for a long time that she should go. I thought she was losing touch with the realities of the world today and California in particular. She’d been in the Senate for far too long and had become isolated in the rarified air of Washington D.C.

It often seemed that she was more about the Washington Politics than about the people of California whom she was supposed to represent.

Over the past year or two it had become clear that Feinstein wasn’t doing all that well.

I thought it cruel that she was still being propped up and wheeled around while so obviously ill. The poor woman should have been home, enjoying her view.

Then again, having spent so much of her life in Washington D.C. it’s possible that she was more at home there, than in California.

For me Dianne Feinstein was a poster child for term limits. There have been many others, but she stuck out for me because she was one of my state senators.

Regardless of my personal opinions formed over the past decade or so… I’m sure that she did a lot of good in her idealistic youth and early years in Washington D.C. before politics consumed her. 

I sincerely hope she rests in peace.

Dianne Feinstein 1933-2023

Feinstein 1600

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So how’s that anti police stand working for ya?

Targetstoreclosing

Target has announced they’re closing 9 stores across the country.

Boo Hoo! 

“Community Leaders” are bemoaning the imminent closures, citing the harm such closures cause to people on fixed incomes. They’re saying things like people could walk to the Target but when it closes the people will have to go elsewhere via car, bus, or train.

Waaa, Waaa, Waaa,

One store being closed is in Harlem. Two stores in Seattle, Three Stores in Portland, and Three in San Francisco.

What part of retail stores are FOR PROFIT don’t people understand? When the stores are projected to loose upwards of 1 billion dollars, Anybody with a brain could predict the outcome. Target will cut its losses and say, “fuck you,” to communities that sanction crime. 

You can’t deny that these communities sanction crime. Defund the Police says, “we don’t believe in law and order.”  I’m sure there are some of these folk who actually thought that crime was somehow a function of police actions. Unfortunately, the people this will hurt most are the elderly. 

All the young dumbshits running rampant through stores stealing anything they can put their hands on should be real proud of themselves. 

It’s not the “man” a.k.a. “white fucker” running the business that is hurt. That guy, and the board of directors, and the investors in Target see the loss as a blip in profitability. A blip that is easily remedied by closing stores, laying off employees, and security guards, selling the store fixtures, and finally selling the store building or terminating the building lease. 

The ‘Blip’ disappears almost instantly, and profitability resumes.

It’s all handled in gleaming glass and steel office buildings, by people who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, and drive Teslas, Mercedes, and BMWs. Their hands are clean and for them all of this is just numbers on a piece of paper. They’ll never know or see the collateral damage done to the community, nor should they. 

Because they’re not the ones doing the damage! They’re just reacting to profitability dropping and expenses rising. In fact a computer could make all the same decisions with the same outcome.

It’s the single mother who has to go on a three hour trip with her screaming children in tow to get diapers. It’s their granny pushing her walker past the closed stores 2 blocks from home, to hit the subway for the 40 mile trip to get her heart medication.

So good job! You filthy thieving pieces of shit! You hurt no-one but your own, and changed nothing except to make things worse. 

I guess we can’t expect anything better from you. After all, you were educated in the American School system and taught repeatedly that you were entitled to that PlayStation and big screen TV, but never taught that you had to get off your ass and work for it. Instead you thought you’d be a big time influencer, or sports player, or entertainer. Uh huh, sure… 

Here’s something that “Racist” math is good for. Take the number of people in your particular community. Now count the number of people from that community that are any of those things (Influencer, sorts player, entertainer). Divide the influencer/sport/entertainer, count by the number of your overall population. See that little tiny number? The one that starts 0.0000000?

It may have a 1 or larger number after all those zeros. 

That jackass, is how many people from your community are making a living in those “jobs”. That’s not even the probability that you are going to make it as an (influencer, sports player, or entertainer). Just so you know bucko the probability of you personally “making it” looks more like 0.00000000000000000000000000123.

So instead of jerking off in your mama’s basement waiting for your “Big Break,” maybe you should go back to school, learn a trade and get your ass to work. Then instead of throwing rocks through windows and stealing shit, you can walk into a store and buy shit like everyone else has been doing since humanity first moved into villages.

Yeah, historically, if you’d been taught actual history… Villages, spawned trade and free markets, and OH MY GOD! NOOOOOO!, Capitalism. 

Communism is the artificial construct. Nobody is altruistic enough for Communism to ever work. I don’t want to work my ass off for someone who’s a lazy piece of shit. Why can’t I be a lazy piece of shit too? Why should I work to provide food for my family when that guy who plays X-Box all day smoking dope with his friends, gets as much food for his family as I do, even though I’m the one growing the food!

Communism is completely antithetical to Human Nature. It will never work, and hasn’t to date worked ever anywhere on the planet.

Human Nature always wins.