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When I buy a Season Pass from iTunes…

I expect that for the price of that Season Pass, I won’t have to watch a bunch of commercials.

I’m even less interested in seeing a bunch of commercials for shows that I’ve shown absolutely zero interest in watching.

Really? 2 to 5 minutes of commercials embedded in the episode download? That’s not what I paid for. Worse yet, the commercials are for the same un-interesting FX productions over and over again, and will become outdated in six months.

Screen Shot 2019 11 16 at 11 27 54 AMI expect Season Passes to be commercial free.

FX obviously didn’t agree. 

None of the rest of the Archer seasons have commercials.

It’s annoying.

I’ll also be weighing the purchase of any future FX season passes because of this experience.

It’s a pity because there are a couple of other FX shows that I actually would be interested in owning. But not with commercials.

So If you’re buying television season passes from iTunes, you might want to check with other folks to find out if the seasons meet your particular preferences.

I hope this isn’t a trend, if it is I’ll go back to purchasing seasons on Blu-ray.

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I’m thinking it’s a spell …

Airpods pro PDP US 1 grandeI think that all of us can agree that Apple Stores are dangerous. 

No, not in the sense of personal safety but to the safety of our wallets.

I went to the Apple store to pick up my order of nifty new AirPod Pros.

They are very nice, comfortable, and have some really good sound along with the #1 thing I wanted, Noise Cancelling.

While I was there, I asked for the Apple folks to take a look at my series 3 Apple watch.

Nothing major, just a couple of issues that cropped up after the latest upgrade. I’d tried everything I could think of to resolve the issues and figured I’d see if they could point me in the right direction.

After the Apple folks poked around in my watch and my phone a bit, they came to the same conclusion that I’d come to. I was going to have to unpair and repair my watch & phone.

No big deal. We initiated the backup procedure so that the watch would be backed up to the cloud and I wouldn’t lose any data.

Backup completed normally, then unpaired and well, things were suddenly different on my phone. I hadn’t lost any data on the phone (all the health data that had been recorded was still there) but what had been two watches paired to my phone (I only have had one Apple watch) was suddenly no watches paired. The backup data was now gone after saying that the backup was corrupt.

My old watch was not wanting to pair with my phone and the Apple folks and I were confused. While I’d been waiting for the backup to complete I’d been playing with the new Series 5 watch and I’d been jonesing for one since they were released. 

Apple-Watch-Series-5-2019.jpgIt occurred to me that if I was going to have to download a new operating system to a watch and pair it… It might as well be to a New Watch.

They traded in my Series 3 got me a Series 5 and we started the setup process. Easy! Too damn easy!

That ladies and gentlemen is how I walked into an Apple Store for a new set of headphones, and walked out with new headphones, a watch, and a couple of cables I’d forgotten I needed.

Sometimes all I need is the slightest excuse to do something crazy. Thank god I didn’t look at iPhone 11 pro!

On the plus side, while I was waiting for the watch to do it’s thing I sat in on an iPhone training session and learned some nifty things that I didn’t know my phone could do. So that’s a win. 

I like the Series 5 a lot. I’m still getting used to the “Always On” feature and thus far my battery life has been good. Not yet the two days of my Series 3, but the battery is still young and does seem to be lasting longer each day. I suspect this is, in part because I’ve finished tweaking the watch and now It’s presenting information as I prefer it and I’m not in configuration all the time.

The only thing I wish the Watch would do is when my phone goes into “Night – Do not disturb” that the watch would turn off it’s display as well. Maybe I’ll send that as a suggestion to Apple.

The Apple Store magic is strong.  Make sure you’ve got the ability to counter it before you walk inside.

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What are you doing Sirius?

I get into the car, turn the engine on and…

I’m suddenly listening to George Michael crooning.

I do not own any George Michael music. None, Nada, Zilch!

There were a couple of songs that I’d hear back in the day but they were never interesting enough for me to buy an entire album and as I transitioned to pretty much all digital music I’ve never felt the need to include any of George’s work in my library.

So this is not coming from my phone…

I jab the number 1 preset on the dash console, there’s a pause and then George Michael resumes playing. 

The Number 1 preset is Sirius “Spa”, it’s what I prefer to listen to while driving because it’s calming and keeps my foot out of the gas tank in Southern California traffic.

Oh, I think Sirius has once again updated all their stations so I spend some time trying to locate Spa’s new station number. It’s not there, Spa is gone.  Grrrr!!!!!!

I flip around to try to find something else that I want to listen to. No Joy! I don’t feel like listening to anything currently on my iPhone. I turn the music system off and drive in silence.

While I’m driving, I realize that Spa is the only station I really listen to on Sirius. Then I think, “Why don’t I listen to NPR or one of the Canadian channels?” It occurs to me that I don’t listen to any of the news channels, or any of the talk radio channels, and I’m not listening to any of the local news channels either.

I can tell you why. Two Words. Donald Trump.

If you listen to NPR or virtually any of the talk radio stations, You get Trump Bad, Trump Evil, Trump did this or that and it’s this constant wailing and gnashing of teeth about how absolutely awful everything is because of Trump. On the other side of the coin you can listen to conservative talk radio. There, all you hear is how rotten, corrupt, shitty, or screwed up the Democrats, ANTIFI, other countries, or whatever. There’s little if anything that I’ve found that is moderate for those of us who are not yet ready to burn the country down.

Neither of these options is going to enhance my calm while driving. In fact listening to stuff like that can put me in a foul mood all day long. 

As it turns out, George Michael will go away tomorrow which is just fine with me. 

However, before I found out that this wasn’t a permanent change I’d investigated the options that my iPhone provides. I’ve found that with almost no trouble at all, I can switch entirely to music from the iPhone and not miss Sirius Satellite at all.

So as previously noted…

When it comes time for me to re-up on Sirius Satellite, I won’t.

Apple Music (which I’m paying for anyway) is more than sufficient.

Welcome to the new age.

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A little PSA

I know, You’re thinking to yourself, “what the hell could this guy have to say?”

I get it, you’re inundated with PSA type crap all day long.

What pronoun to use, don’t appropriate another culture for your halloween costume (No matter how funny it might be), don’t speak ill of any culture (unless it’s white folks), don’t speak ill of any gender (unless it’s cis male), you know…

The usual.

Well this post is not about any of that. So read on my intrepid friends.

Here’s something to think about.

Digital 1S 0S ON or OFF1If your personal devices are connected to a computer network at your place of business, any data sent from those devices is subject to monitoring. Now here’s the kicker…

Even if you aren’t looking at porn on your devices, but you’ve got your email running receiving that hot porn email list, or one of those nifty dating applications like Tender that might have naked photos, updating in the background, technically you’re downloading or attempting to download inappropriate material on the corporate network.

Yep! I know, shitty isn’t it? Guess what? The IT folks can see that data as it’s flowing over their systems. They can even localize it to your device or area of the corporate campus.

So if you’re on naked photo mailing lists, or Nudists international, or Filthy Gangbangs R Us, or whatever, even if you’re not looking at the site, your phone, or your tablet is. It’s guilt by association. Technically text messages could fall into the same category.

In other words, you could be fired because your device, sitting in your pocket, backpack, briefcase, or purse, was accessing naughty material. Your only defense is to say, “No I wasn’t” and the IT folks may have records, time and date stamped to the contrary. In other words, you’re screwed.

“Oh Guru of technology how might we prevent this?”, you ask.

Simplest way;

Don’t have those apps on your phone or tablet.

Another simple way;

NEVER connect to your corporate network with personal devices. This will force your devices to use their cellular connection. Make sure you have an unlimited plan though.

A more complex method;

Gf logo horzAlways use a VPN when you’re away from home. There are some who suggest using a VPN at all times. I don’t. My VPN comes on automatically when I’m out of the house and using an external WiFi or hardline network connection.

VPNs are cheap and effective. They’re relatively easy to use and work pretty well. If you’re involved in illegal activities they’re not going to protect you from prosecution, so keep it legal okay?

I use Vypr from Golden Frog. Before you ask, I pay a yearly subscription and don’t really notice a delay (or the expense) as long as the connection I’m using is reasonably fast.

The down side to VPNs is that sometimes corporations, and public WiFi access locations will stop VPN traffic. The say it’s for the protection of their employees or clients, that’s bullshit.

They’re blocking the VPN traffic because they’re protecting themselves. Seems that there are some laws or the illusion of laws that suggest a corporation allowing “Illegal” traffic over their networks can be held accountable.

The question is, “what is illegal?” and since they can’t monitor an encrypted connection, companies often block VPNs. This is especially true on employee accessible networks.

Unless you’re familiar with what’s going on you could end up wasting a lot of time troubleshooting a non-existent problem. (I say that from experience). Since the VPN comes up automatically it’s easy to forget it’s there when you hit a Starbucks or whatever.

So it’s possible that with a VPN you’re not going to get connected to the internet while you’re at work. In which case if you’ve just gotta see that filthy picture, turn off WiFi and download it over the cell connection. I’d recommend waiting until your lunch hour or you’re off work but hey, I’m not living your life and you get to choose how your day or career goes.

The point is, keep all your personal shit… Personal!

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So yesterday I was out & About…

After watching the completely thoughtless behavior of a number of people, I had to take a piss.

No not due to the thoughtlessness of the people, they were just the constant background irritation that I face every day.

One incident that really caught my attention was at the car wash:

I watched someone pull up to the change machine, get out of their car, get change, then drive 50 feet to put their car in the washing bay. Really? You lazy fuck? Oh, and you had two other people in the car with you. Why not pull into one of the 6 empty wash bays, and haul your ass 50 feet to get your change?

You thought it was okay to park in front of the machine blocking the driveway for everyone else, causing a traffic jam, preventing other people from leaving the car wash, or exiting the automated washing area. while you sat there fucking around to find your paper currency to change into coin.

I’d remind you dumbass, you’re not the only person on the fucking planet.

I did my best to ignore it.  Obviously I wasn’t successful! 

Anyhoo…

I finish drying my car and that was when I needed to take a leak. I do a quick check, there are other drying bays open so I can leave my car for a minute.

As I’m approaching the restroom, I note that the two doors are sporting nice new gender neutral signs. I think nothing of it. I head for the “Men’s room”, or the room formerly known as the men’s room.

UrinalIt’s unoccupied and I’m pretty much on auto pilot and then I notice the urinal is gone. No it’s not broken, it’s completely missing. Now there is only a toilet and a sink.

WTF?

Leave the fucking urinals in gender neutral bathrooms!

Women have been bitching for years about the length of time it takes for them to go pee. You know what ladies? It’s because men can piss in a trough, or against a wall, shoulder to shoulder.

Pulling urinals out of restrooms only slows the whole process down for everyone. If I’m in a men’s room that has a toilet and a urinal I don’t lock the door. Another dude can come in and take a leak in the toilet. That’s why there’s rarely a line at a baseball game or airport for the men’s room.

You neutrality nazis want to come into a large gender neutral restroom?

Fine… You better be prepared to see some dick! That had better not offend your delicate sensibilities.

You got some religious concerns or concerns that you’ll have to look at men? Well creampuff make a fucking decision. Gender neutrality OR your desire to not see dick.

Think about it for two seconds and incorporate your life experience.

For example:

Go to a party at someones home. Every bathroom will be full, there’s a line and nobody is going anywhere. Eventually the guys will be out in the front yard, beer in one hand and cock in the other watering the largest tree in the yard.

There’s a joke which gets modified to fit the branch of the military the teller of the joke served in.

First person:
You know, in the <Military Branch> they taught us to wash our hands after we piss.

Second Person:

In the <Military Branch> they taught us not to piss on our hands.

Men revert to our cave man nature pretty damn quick. We shouldn’t have to make apologies for it.

That’s not male privilege, it’s biological design. Ain’t nothing that you can do about it. So stop trying to make Men feel like they’re less than, or somehow wrong, for the way they were born.

If you keep the bathrooms at a party locked up too long, eventually some dude is out in the back yard digging a latrine. If you’re really lucky he’s preserving the sod in nice neat squares so that the lawn can be fixed in the morning. There’s your gender neutrality, and gender equality. All the party goers who can’t get into the bathrooms, will be using the latrine.  Perhaps that’s an idea for my next party, If you’re going to be puking your guts up… Go out back!

Just hope to god someone brings paper towels out, or your perennials are going to be stripped bare by morning.

Tell you what, how about we take the wall space used by the couches in the former ladies only bathrooms and put a nice trough right there?

Oh, now the ladies are concerned!

I swear, If I wasn’t worried about being arrested I’d just start pissing against buildings, or trees whenever I had to go.

Think of it as a rebellion against the Neutrality Nazis. I know of course that there would be some horribly offended snowflake that runs to the police to report indecent exposure. Not because they saw anything, but simply because I’m a dude and comfortable pissing while standing up. God knows that must be some kind of crime!