Category: Weird Shit

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Always Been a fan of the movie Dogma

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If you haven’t seen the movie it’s well worth your time.

There are a lot of pious religious folks that really hated the movie because they didn’t like it’s portrayal of the church, angels, and it’s generally irreverent take on God.

Personally, I suspect that God was sitting in the audience laughing right along with the rest of us.

I bring this whole thing up because I’ve been really ill with a cold / sinus / allergy? thing for going on 7 days. God created the world in 7 days… I’m done with feeling lousy!

As I was sitting in my favorite chair last night flipping aimlessly through TV channels all I could think was “When is this going to end?”

Which led me to Alan Rickmans line “It never ends” as he’s wiping the blood off his jacket with the hem of Gods clothes.

Strange what you think about at 3 am when you realize that your body is putting up a good fight. In the process the bug that you’ve caught is finding all new ways to inflict pain. Then you realize that  the bug in question hasn’t any clue whatsoever that it’s making you want to stick you head in a microwave.

Who knew that your teeth could hurt in such exquisite ways. Not a toothache per-se but a whole palate of pain that would make what Dustin Hoffman endured in the movie “Marathon Man” seem like Sunday at the park with Ice cream.

Much later last night, I noticed that every time there was a breeze through the house or indeed if I moved the comforter on the bed I’d start coughing violently. This led me to ask why?

I’d noticed a lot more pollen than usual in the air over the past few days. I started wondering if part of the problem was that there was so much pollen my body was simply trying to expel yet more foreign bodies.

When I say pollen… I mean that everything that can bloom is blooming. There are clouds of the stuff so thick at times it looks like dust storm. Everything in the house is covered with a pale yellow dust.

You want to talk sick??? Think of the pollen this way it’s cum!

Yeah you read that right it’s plant spooge, and you’re breathing it, eating it, and you can’t get away from it. Makes what you do in the bedroom seem pretty tame don’t if?

Don’t even try to tell me you don’t swallow!

LCARS

At this point I was actually thinking about sleeping in the back seat of my car.  I could even program it to fire up the fans and suck filtered air into the cabin  ever 4 hours.

It’s been in the garage for the past week. Sealed like a space capsule, all the cabin filters in place. A beautiful leather clad oasis of clean air oh my!

Sleeping in the car was looking better and better. The space craft metaphor is strangely true in the case of that car.. There are times when I expect to hear Majel Barrett Roddenberrys’ voice saying something like “Warning you’ve entered a personal hazard zone.” As I drive through Southern California.

Ok yeah it’s weird.

Tell me you’ll do better after the 6th consecutive night of getting 2 hours of sleep and coughing so hard your’e tasting blood then wondering if your lungs are coming up next. I double dog dare you!

As the morning light dispelled the insanity of the witching hours a simple plan began to gather like the light in the East.

It dawned on me that an experiment to find out if it’s the pollen or if I have a cold would be to close the house, (limiting the introduction of more pollen) and turn on the A/C.

The recycled air is filtered albeit not well, but limiting the introduction of additional pollen might go a long way toward removing the irritants. Much as I hate to have the A/C on this early in the year I figure I can run the experiment for 48 hours and see what happens.

Which leads me back to “Dogma”

There’s a scene where one of the demons says “No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air. “

So here I sit having a cup of coffee house darkened by drawn shades the sexual sinning hum of the A/C compressor occasionally heard from outside. And You know what? I’m not coughing as much. The real test will be tonight when I try to get some sleep.

Meanwhile the Dogs are more than happy with the A/C being on. They’re snoring loudly on their beds.

Now you’ve been through part of the rabbit hole that is my brain.

I hope you’ve incurred no permanent damage.

 

Here’s a bonus question… The control panel shown above, what fictional species does it belong to?

—– Update —–

Running the A/C & keeping the house closed seem to have helped. I also got a whole 6 hours of sleep. It was restless sleep but sleep nonetheless.

2012 BMW i8 Concept SpyderI haven’t braved the big bad world outside yet today. According to the weather reports it’s supposed to get windy in the valleys starting today so I’m guessing we may see the wind pick up a little bit here. More blowing pollen oh joy…

Part of the restless sleep was that I kept dreaming about driving through Germany after having picked one of these babies up in Leipzig . If you’re going to have restless dreams you should at least make them worthwhile.

This is the BMW i8. I know I’ll never be able to afford one even if it makes it out of the concept stage. I can dream though can’t I?

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Wow! Forgot how insane people are on Holiday weekends.

Just got back from running the sound system down to a pickup point.

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Unfortunately I had to go to a shopping center I loath! I seriously considered heading out to a factory store near Palm Springs or another factory store at South Coast just to avoid going where I had to go.

It’s not that the shopping center is bad per-se it’s the people that go there. 

Lets just say that most weren’t raised in this country… As a result It feel like I’m walking into a 3rd world cesspool every time I have to go to this particular center. It’s not just the language(s) it’s the entire cultural difference that you’re suddenly confronted with. 

Many Asian countries don’t have the same personal space requirements that we Americans do. The same is true of many countries South of the border. Then add the exaggerated walk and arm swinging of so called African American “Culture” plus a large crowd…

Well that’s a  recipe for someone like me to have my threat assessment systems go to DEFCON 5 in a very short time…

That’s really my problem not the problem of the patrons of the mall.

It’s also a reason that I don’t as a rule enjoy Knotts Berry Farm, Magic Mountain, or Disneyland.

Too many people and all of them seem to be from a culture other than mine. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out if someone is a threat, trying to pick a fight, or simply behaving like they would if they were back home.

The simply act of getting to the shopping center was a challenge…

I personally witnessed at least 4 people completely run stop signs. When I say run them I mean they didn’t even touch their brakes. Several others blew through  stop lights that couldn’t have been any redder if they were the size of klieg lights.

Once I got to the shopping center, there were already people fighting over parking spaces. Really! I saw one shoving match and one screaming match in progress. The amusing thing about it was that the parking lot was pretty much empty.

The people had gone to war over a parking space when less than twenty feet further on there was a wide open expanse of empty spots.

Like most people here or anywhere now day I ignored the insanity once I’d determined that the people involved weren’t an immediate threat.

After unloading the stuff from my trunk, and humping all it across the parking lot,  I get into the store, arms full with 50 lbs of equipment.

This after fighting my way through doors that swing OUT and automatic doors that are broken, only to find a woman whose blocked all three customer service / cashier stations with a shopping cart and her fat ass so that NO-ONE may get to it. The store employees tried politely asking her to move but the woman would not shut the hell up. She seems somehow to have thought that by blocking access to all the counter she was going to make her point better. The only point she made for me was that she was a rude idiot who really needed a reality check..

After standing there for 5 minutes I’d finally I’d had enough, I said “Hey you old battle-ax how about you move your shit so other customers can drop off OR BUY something?“

That shut her up for only a moment…

But I got to put my stuff on the counter. A perky young lady immediately started filling out the necessary paperwork. While I’m answering questions the Battle-ax is continuing her screeching. 

Then I start paying attention to what she was complaining about and my brain melted.

She’d purchased some sound system thing (I couldn’t identify what exactly) about 3 months prior. Then one of her friends purchased the same thing only it was slightly different and in the opinion of the battle-ax “Better”. She was in the store being a raving lunatic trying to intimidate the employees into exchanging her using for the “Better” one at no cost. REALLY???

Does that work?

I guess it works enough that people continue to do it. 

No wonder the costs keep going up even though the jobs are off shored to cheaper labor.

I’m going to be taking a trip soon. Since I’m driving, I’m hoping that I can scope out some places where maybe the insanity isn’t quite as bad. Who knows If I find a nice place, I might just stay there. 

I know I’m just as nutzs as all the other people here… But I keep hearing that shaman from Avatar… “Let us see if your insanity can be cured.” 

One can hope, In the mean time I’m hanging out up where I can see trees and sky and watch the occasional sunrise.

Hope every one has a great weekend.

 

 

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Ahhh The sweet smell of Down Home Christianity

Folks it’s happened once again. At least this time it’s not in Florida. But you really do have to ask what the hell is up with North Carolina????

What’s happened now you say?

Another God fearing down home Christian Minister / Pastor / Reverend / (Whatever) has demonstrated why Christianity and other religions will no doubt be banned in the future.

Now wait… before you go nuts and condemn me to hell, hear me out…

How many people have died due to the practice of various religions?

How many civilizations have been destroyed over religious practice?

It doesn’t seem to matter which side of the “Good Book” you’re on or which “Good Book” you read. Inevitably someone is going to get it into their head that THEIR view and practice of religion is the right one and your view is wrong. Shortly after that your wrongness will be punishable by death.

The funniest thing is that the latest Hate Spewing asshole would denounce and call for the bombing of the Taliban, Iran, Iraq, and probably the Palestinians too. Yet he fundamentally agrees with at least one tenant of these peoples religions.

YES!!! REALLY!

We must KILL THE FAGGOTS because THEY EXIST!

Below is a link to part of the heinous Hate Filled speech from the pulpit. If this link disappears, do a youtube search for Pastor Charles L Worley.

I don’t know how long this video will remain online. I’ve heard that the church is trying to remove it from public view. No wonder! If these are the values that Christianity espouses I think I’ll choose another religion… Perhaps something involving naked dancing around a fire and minimal animal sacrifice.

Let me sum up what this man is saying.

1) He wants to put lesbians in one concentration camp.

2) He wants to put Gay men in another concentration camp

3) He wants the fences to be electrified and expects for the Homosexual vermin to die out. ( I put the word Vermin in his mouth, and paraphrased the rest.)

Clearly this moron doesn’t understand where homosexuals come from.

Gay people are born. Gay people come from all walks of life, all families,  and all ethnicities.

Deity forbid there may even have been one or two gay people sitting in the congregation listening to this vitriol live. Had I been sitting there I’m sure that I’d have insured my passage to hell because I’d have been more than happy to have taken this guy on. 

He also doesnt’ address the issue of Bisexuals. I mean really what’s he going to do with them? Another concentration camp? I guess he’ll have to make sure they’re sterilized else they’re gonna breed!

This guy has no idea that it’s a fine line between concentration camps and outright murder. I’m surprised that he suggested just putting Lesbians in a camp. I kept expecting to hear that the Lesbians should be used as breeding stock. The Nazis used Lesbians against their will to breed Aryan babies. And they provided a great pick-me-up for the troops too! 

Imagine the outlet for all those pent-up Christian men whose wives aren’t putting out anymore. Oh and lets not forget that in the bible, there’s talk about men whose wives were barren and they were allowed to go hook up with a slave or a 2nd wife. I’m sure that all those good Christian women would welcome the relief. But what does that say about adultery?

OH Wait… It’s not adultery or fornication if the church said you can do it right?

So if the church says to go kill a bunch of people for Jesus it’s ok. See History: Crusades

You know, that’s EXACTLY what the 9/11 terrorists thought. Only they weren’t killing for Jesus, for them it was Muhammad. (Unless you believe the conspiracy theories.)

As always I’m left wondering how so many “religions of peace” end up pounding their plowshares into swords.

———— UPDATE ————–

The original link I embedded was gone by the time this post went live.

I’ve updated the post with another link. 

The new link is not as good as the original I posted. The original was 12 -13 minutes long and at least gave some context. After making the inflammatory statements he goes on to cite the Chapter in Leviticus, and another chapter in Romans, he builds his case following the usual conservative religious dogma.

Honestly, He and the church would have been better off letting the original video remain posted. While what he says is clearly scary… Why he says it is understandable from the standpoint of the dogma of his particular faith.