Here’s an exercise in spin for you… Be warned your head may hurt.

Before my Liberal friends form a lynch mob… I’m playing here… It’s a Joke… Well a half joke… 

In truth, I wrote this just to stir the pot. I think that anyone with little effort can spin anything any way they want.  This is my attempt at proving that “Facts” are just a matter of spin. I hope you enjoy it.

The banking collapse was in fact caused by Liberal Democrats, not Conservative Republicans.

Lets look at the facts.

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Many liberals believe that it’s wrong to deport illegal workers (This is a term that I use to mean inclusively any person who has entered this country illegally. )

That the term illegal workers has come to be synonymous with Illegal hispanic workers is a discussion for another time. I will say this… if a term has come to be redefined as descriptive of a situation, well perhaps you need to ask how that came to be…

Many liberals believe that housing must  be equal opportunity no matter what. (I also believe that housing should be equal opportunity, meaning that if you can afford a home or apartment you shouldn’t be denied access to that home or apartment based on race, color, creed, sexuality, or religion.)

Many liberals believe that  higher education is a right, not a privilege and as a result have enacted a multitude of affirmative action policies nationwide.

Many of those affirmative action laws, regulations, and policies have been expanded to apply to more than education and now apply in a variety of other aspects of our society including banking.

Having worked in the mortgage banking industry approximately 4 years before the collapse (I got out because I saw it coming) I got to see some things from the inside.

Remember No document loans?

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How about reverse amortization loans?

These “products”  were a direct result of mortgage lenders complying with affirmative action regulations. 

The mortgage bankers I worked for felt that they couldn’t deny a loan application because affirmative action regulations demanded a certain percentage of what was called “B & C” paper be accepted by a bank. Think of it like “Assigned risk in insurance.”

Essentially, these “B & C” designations were loans to people who were far more likely to default than the so called “A” paper loans.

Sadly the “A, B, & C” paper loans shook out along largely racial lines due to underlying aspects of our society. 

This meant that someone like myself (A paper) who was employed, had a mortgage, had never been late on a payment, was making more money than I ever had in my life, and who wanted to refinance my house at a lower percentage rate without taking any money out of it, and who provided documentation to all of the above…

Would be scrutinized to a maddening degree and even had to answer questions like “Why has your income increased?

No Shit! The fact that I was making more money was actually a bone of contention between me and the underwriter. It pissed me off to the point that I told her I’d quit my job if that would make it easier on her then we could average my income over the past decade.

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The mortgage lender I was working for at the time did not hold my mortgage… but over lunch one day I asked WTF? of an underwriter I knew well.

His answer was that since I had a history and had provided all kinds of documentation, the underwriters had to do a full process where they, by banking regulations checked everything about the loan they were going to fund.

He went on to say that if I’d gone for a new house instead of a refi, and the loan had been a “Jumbo Loan” I could have gone with a no document loan and been approved within a week.

I still didn’t get it. 

My underwriter friend explained,  because of equal opportunity lending regulations and HUD rules, and half a dozen other regulations designed to prevent discrimination,  the no doc loans had become known as the Housekeeper loans and I’d have qualified easily for one of those.

He’d seen 800,000 loans approved for gardeners in Orange County. After the loan was approved, typically within 120 days the first payment was late.

Then another department in the company we worked for would start calling and asking for payments to be made including late fees.

The late fees were always paid first and the remainder of whatever payment we got was sent to the mortgage holder. This was called “servicing” a loan. It was / is a very profitable enterprise. This is especially true when only a partial payment gets sent to the mortgage holder because the cycle can repeat several times a month on the entire amount that is in arrears. The late fees keep stacking up and the profit for the loan servicer keeps increasing.

It was the interaction of protections for the poor, affirmative action,  the lack of proper identification requirements, the right to privacy about where you obtained your income, and other liberal progressive factors that created the no document loan in the first place.

The banking industry simply made all of these regulations profitable!

These loans were given  to people who sometimes didn’t understand what they were signing and at other times actually couldn’t write their own names.

Then the loan was packaged up as an investment portfolio that was mandated by law to have a specific % of A, B, & C paper loans. The completed portfolio was sold to a wall street firm.

Back to my original statement…

It was the liberal demands for equality in lending, and housing, their insistence on not deporting illegal workers, the bleeding heart progressive agenda, and complete lack of concern or perhaps the liberal demonization of profit and business, that is in fact responsible for the banking collapse.

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By forcing the banking industry to approve a percentage of questionable loans that the banking industry normally wouldn’t have approved, the liberals created the housing bubble. Simultaneously making it far more difficult for honest citizens to carry on with their lives and pursuit of the American Dream.

The evil banking industry was just following orders.

 

 

I guess it’s just my lot in life…

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I’ve been a technology guy for almost 30 years.

Now I’m unemployed and have been looking for a new job for the better part of 18 months.

Usually I can’t get the time of day from the places that I apply to. Those placement firms that do contact me are often not much more that one step above spammers.

Got a call from one of these guys the other day, He was obviously Indian and his English pronunciation was so poor that I had no idea what he was saying. I finally got him to send me an email with the job description. His written English was only marginally better, which explains why he was trying to match me up with a position that was almost completely NOT anything I can do.

I find myself wondering things like why can’t I get any decent leads.

I’m still working on that one… but I’m beginning to wonder if I’m not paying back some seriously big karmic debt.

Many of the companies that I’ve applied to, I also do occasional business with. This morning I was looking around online for a decent six or seven port USB Hub. 

As I wandered through the myriad websites I kept seeing one defect after another.

These are major, nationally known companies who advertise and sell their products on the web and yet I was seeing things like;

Dead links,

Typos,

Dialog boxes that were blank, (I mean… just a white box with nothing in it.)

Check boxes that appear unchecked yet if you do check them, to narrow your search you actually destroy your search results.

Oh, and these companies… all have either flat out told me that I wasn’t good enough to work for them, or they simply have never responded to my inquiries.

While I many not be good enough to work for them, clearly their existing staff sucks!

Part of the problem is this. 

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All of these companies want someone that has long list of software development methodology certifications. To date I’ve worked with virtually every methodology.

However, I’ve never bothered to get certified in any of them, for the following reasons;

1) The certifications are very expensive and often required me to burn my vacation time and pay for the seminar and the hotel & food costs. Often as not just sitting through the seminar got you the certification.

I don’t believe in buying certifications. If that’s what I’m doing… then let me send you the $1000 and you send me the paper with my little name printed on it, and we’re done.  

I think that there should be something a little more structured and some accountability or grading must be built into the system.

Then there’s this thought… I have one miserable week of vacation. Do I spend it at an expensive seminar in a hotel conference room or do I spend that week on a beach somewhere? Let’s think about this for all of a nano-second! If I’m going to spend my vacation time and have to pay for a hotel and transportation… I’m going diving in the Caribbean!

2)  These methodologies are ever changing and in fact I’ve worked for companies where the methodology changed as frequently as the upper management did. It was simply impossible to keep up with the method du jour and as a result, the certifications were pretty much pointless.

3) These methodologies claim in some circles to be a standard. But in point of fact they are really only the framework of a software development philosophy that allows for variable implementation based on the needs, desires, and whims of the corporation where the method is being used. 

The practical upshot of this is that a new employee starts out having to learn how the company has implemented a particular methodology whether they’ve got the certifications or not.

4) I have noticed through the years that regardless of the published “Methodology”, corporate “Procedures”, or even ISO standards all go right out the window when the project is late,  (Every Software Project ends up being LATE). Which means that Agile is pretty much the defacto standard of ALL software development regardless of the corporate sales pitch.

5) I’ve actually been involved in companies where the process was so complex that it actually impeded the development and testing processes. In these companies, I only got 3 hours of work done on software I was testing per day. The other 5 or 6 hours of my day were spent in meetings, explaining what testing was being done and WHY the testing was going so slowly

REALLY?

In point of fact it wasn’t the methodology, it was the implementation.

I’ve always thought it was funny how almost anything begins to take on the worst aspects of religion. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Agile,SCRUM, PC vs. Mac, iPhone vs. Android…

None of them are inherently bad ideas or philosophies but all of them suffer from problems introduced by zealots.

I guess now it’s time for me to pay for some stupid seminar where the badge of honor is that I have a certificate saying I sat through the seminar.

At least I could legitimately say I’m certified in one of these things…  That 30 years of experience is irrelevant but a silly certification in a software development methodology is annoys me beyond belief.

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I could take my laptop and spend the time writing and half listening. God! The soul crushing boredom  of seminars like this makes me cringe. When I’ve attended these kinds of seminars in the past,  at the end of the day I headed straight for the hotel bar and worked on anesthetizing myself… All the while having to listen to other folks from the seminar gushing about the importance of the words of the presenter… aka The Prophet. 

Meanwhile, I’m looking for the nearest exit and wondering if I can find another convenient bar where I don’t have to listen to a rehash of the day faithfully regurgitated by those who’ve drunk the kool aid.

I suppose it’s jaded cynicism on my part. A large part of my inherent resistance comes from knowing these methods, don’t make me a better tester. It just means that I’m going to be better able to recognize when someone is wasting time in needless meetings.

Which leads me back to Karma…

Am I now paying the price for not drinking the kool aid? Are the errors I’m seeing on web sites the not so subtle reminders that my choice not to play the latest corporate mental masturbation game has left me on the outside?

I still stand 100% by my conviction that as a Software Quality Assurance Analyst, knowledge or lack thereof about these philosophies won’t change the quality of the software.

Actually testing the software will. 

My Karma is to be unable to ignore software defects, and to seemingly bring out defects simply by wanting to use software as a normal user. 

I guess, I was a serious asshole to someone in a previous life. 

Now where was that catalog of obscenely priced seminars????

Riddle me This?

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A recent report from Bloomberg reports that Oil Prices (Meaning Crude Trading) is currently at a Two month low, and that as the US output has risen, the Demand has eased.

So Why are we still seeing gas prices that are 4.99 for a gallon of regular?

Really?

The oil futures and price per barrel jumps if there’s the slightest change in the breeze, or a Congressman farts. Driving the cost of a gallon of gas up…

So why isn’t the converse true? More supply means that the cost of gas shouldn’t be as high, isn’t that economics 101?

This leads me to think, contrary to what the Oil Companies have reported for years… Gas prices are directly tied to the cost of crude and the anticipated supply that there’s really a far more insidious conspiracy of artificial controls actually keeping the gas prices up.

Lets see…

Obviously, Obscene Profits are a huge motivator.

Keeping fuel prices artificially high would play out nicely for Corporate America in an election year, since fuel / transportation prices directly affect every aspect of the economy.

Think about it, If a cabal of American or International businesses were to decide that they didn’t want a particular President in office, one way to get that president out of office would be to strangle an already weak economy.

When the preferred candidate was elected, then fuel prices drop and the economy spins up again. People go back to work, new jobs are suddenly created and voila… The new President has turned things around!

I don’t know if this line of reasoning is anything but a trip down conspiracy lane… but I do think that EVERY American should remember that regardless of what the press tells us, and regardless of what the Oil companies tell us…

There is no direct causal link between the cost of a barrel of crude, and the cost of gasoline at the pump… At least not anymore.

When the Oil Barons are testifying before congress and poor mouthing that they have no control over the prices of fuel, I pray to GOD that at least one congressional committee member has the balls to stand up and call BULLSHIT right to the Oil Executives faces on CSPAN!

What would be even better would be if the Oil Executives were clapped in Irons and dragged out of the hearing chambers for lying to congress.

Hell I’d PAY to see that!

Occupy Wall Street should be Occupy EXXON, British Petroleum, Atlantic Richfield, ConocoPhillips, and all the other bastard Oil companies as well as Wall Street futures traders…