Category: Insomnia

Awake at 3:00AM

At first I’m not sure what woke me up. As I lay there my awareness expands.

The house is silent, as is the neighborhood. The sound of crickets is normal, and the oppressive heat of the day has abated.

There’s a coolish breeze blowing through the open windows. The dog is sleeping, I can tell by his snoring he’s probably laying on his back under the breeze from the ceiling fan.

Completing the evaluation of my immediate surroundings I notice there’s the scent of smoke in the air.

From experience, I know it’s the smell of a brush fire. The smell isn’t strong, nor is it the same smell that is present when the fire is close.

Somehow this smells “cooler” like it’s traveled a distance.

It is strong enough that it woke me. There hadn’t been any smoky smell when I went to bed.

Instinct is interesting. We think of sleep as “Turning Off” but that’s not really true. It’s just a different state of awareness. Somewhere in the deep primitive part of our brain there’s something monitoring our surroundings. An odd sound, light, or smell triggers a primal response.

That response in my case is accompanied by a hit of adrenaline that says, “Get your ass moving!”

The smell is strong. Apparently, it was enough to trigger my alert system. I can see the sky, and the stars clearly. I know there’s no smoke in the air, or rather not enough to obscure the sky. I roll over and try to go back to sleep.

I can’t.

The evacuation inventory list is playing in my head. What to take, what to leave, exit routes, and all the rest.

Eventually I can’t not think about fire.

I get up, wake the computer up, and start checking the Cal-Fire incident site.

The nearest reported fires are miles away, they’re 98% contained. The next nearest fire is in Hemet, 50 miles away so that’s not a threat to me. Although I note that two people  lost their lives. That’s bad. I don’t know the circumstances they were in but it reenforces my belief that if there’s a wildfire I’ll run, I’ll grab the dog, and what papers or sentimental items I can, and the rest can burn.

Anything can be replaced except your life and the lives of your loved ones.

For me though, tonite the damage is done. I pour myself a drink and write this blog. It’s going to take a while for the adrenaline to leave my system. 

Until then I’m not getting any sleep.

I hope your night was more restful.