Category: Adult

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Ahhh The sweet smell of Down Home Christianity

Folks it’s happened once again. At least this time it’s not in Florida. But you really do have to ask what the hell is up with North Carolina????

What’s happened now you say?

Another God fearing down home Christian Minister / Pastor / Reverend / (Whatever) has demonstrated why Christianity and other religions will no doubt be banned in the future.

Now wait… before you go nuts and condemn me to hell, hear me out…

How many people have died due to the practice of various religions?

How many civilizations have been destroyed over religious practice?

It doesn’t seem to matter which side of the “Good Book” you’re on or which “Good Book” you read. Inevitably someone is going to get it into their head that THEIR view and practice of religion is the right one and your view is wrong. Shortly after that your wrongness will be punishable by death.

The funniest thing is that the latest Hate Spewing asshole would denounce and call for the bombing of the Taliban, Iran, Iraq, and probably the Palestinians too. Yet he fundamentally agrees with at least one tenant of these peoples religions.

YES!!! REALLY!

We must KILL THE FAGGOTS because THEY EXIST!

Below is a link to part of the heinous Hate Filled speech from the pulpit. If this link disappears, do a youtube search for Pastor Charles L Worley.

I don’t know how long this video will remain online. I’ve heard that the church is trying to remove it from public view. No wonder! If these are the values that Christianity espouses I think I’ll choose another religion… Perhaps something involving naked dancing around a fire and minimal animal sacrifice.

Let me sum up what this man is saying.

1) He wants to put lesbians in one concentration camp.

2) He wants to put Gay men in another concentration camp

3) He wants the fences to be electrified and expects for the Homosexual vermin to die out. ( I put the word Vermin in his mouth, and paraphrased the rest.)

Clearly this moron doesn’t understand where homosexuals come from.

Gay people are born. Gay people come from all walks of life, all families,  and all ethnicities.

Deity forbid there may even have been one or two gay people sitting in the congregation listening to this vitriol live. Had I been sitting there I’m sure that I’d have insured my passage to hell because I’d have been more than happy to have taken this guy on. 

He also doesnt’ address the issue of Bisexuals. I mean really what’s he going to do with them? Another concentration camp? I guess he’ll have to make sure they’re sterilized else they’re gonna breed!

This guy has no idea that it’s a fine line between concentration camps and outright murder. I’m surprised that he suggested just putting Lesbians in a camp. I kept expecting to hear that the Lesbians should be used as breeding stock. The Nazis used Lesbians against their will to breed Aryan babies. And they provided a great pick-me-up for the troops too! 

Imagine the outlet for all those pent-up Christian men whose wives aren’t putting out anymore. Oh and lets not forget that in the bible, there’s talk about men whose wives were barren and they were allowed to go hook up with a slave or a 2nd wife. I’m sure that all those good Christian women would welcome the relief. But what does that say about adultery?

OH Wait… It’s not adultery or fornication if the church said you can do it right?

So if the church says to go kill a bunch of people for Jesus it’s ok. See History: Crusades

You know, that’s EXACTLY what the 9/11 terrorists thought. Only they weren’t killing for Jesus, for them it was Muhammad. (Unless you believe the conspiracy theories.)

As always I’m left wondering how so many “religions of peace” end up pounding their plowshares into swords.

———— UPDATE ————–

The original link I embedded was gone by the time this post went live.

I’ve updated the post with another link. 

The new link is not as good as the original I posted. The original was 12 -13 minutes long and at least gave some context. After making the inflammatory statements he goes on to cite the Chapter in Leviticus, and another chapter in Romans, he builds his case following the usual conservative religious dogma.

Honestly, He and the church would have been better off letting the original video remain posted. While what he says is clearly scary… Why he says it is understandable from the standpoint of the dogma of his particular faith.

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I’m sure I’m going straight to hell…

Sometimes I can’t help myself.

Tonight as the Godson was leaving for a camping trip with a couple of buddies I thought a practical joke was in order. After all 19 – 22 year olds have to have some reason to swear at each other don’t they?

One of his buddies, I’ve met and in addition to him being just a hell of a nice young man & proud Marine, he seems like the type that could take a joke.

SO my evil mind bubbling, boiling, and churning comes up with this plan.

I say “Lets put a condom that appears used in the sleeping bag he’s rented for the trip. “

My godson is laughing so hard he can’t even speak.

While he’s recovering I head to my bedroom, grabbing a condom and a bottle of Spunk Lube…

I unroll the condom then squirt a bit of lube in the condom. I hold it up and think “What the Hell?”. I say to the godson; “lets make it a big’un” and hit the condom with a completely unrealistic amount of the lube. While I’m squeezing the stuff down to the end of the condom. My godson is holding his sides laughing.

I fold the thing over and stuff it into a plastic sandwich bag. As I hand it to him I tell him to make sure that he slides it into his buddys sleeping bag so that the cold sticky thing is going to come into contact with a bare foot, leg, or the small of the back.

At this point the godson is laughing so hard he’s red in the face. I can tell he’s imagining the look on his friends face when this whole thing goes down.

I’m sure that I’m going straight to hell….

 

—- UPDATE —-

The young man that we were pranking… Didn’t even blink… He’d read my previous post and knew that it was a joke. DAMN!!!! Obviously I’m getting a wider audience on this blog than I thought, not that I’m complaining…

So the moral of the story is… If you want to prank someone with Spunk make sure they haven’t read about it or aren’t already using it.

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Hey Religious Right… It’s all or nothing!

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First of all Let me say a few things right up front:

1) I rarely agree with Dan Savage

2) I often disagree with Joe of Joe.my.god

3) I’m not particularly religious

4) I rarely find enough compelling writing in Slate to continue reading more than a paragraph or two.

So you’ll understand that I took my blood pressure and temperature when I found myself reading an entire Slate article, agreeing with Dan Savage AND Joe about religion. I also checked to make sure that none of my neighbors had been raptured. Since I haven’t seen any Zombies walking around I’m going to assume that the zombie apocalypse hasn’t happened.

There’s been a lot of talk about Dan Savage lately. Frankly I hadn’t really paid any attention.

Hey he’s an activist, public speaker, television personality, blogger, sex advice columnist and makes a HELL of  a lot more money per year than I do.

Then Joe.my.god posts an excerpt from a Slate article saying that the author “nailed the Savage Flap”

I read the excerpt and thought “yeah” I agree with that so I went to the full article on Slate.

I  have to say the author makes some really good points. In the article Dan Savage is quoted as pointing out that Christians and Jews for that matter choose to ignore parts of the Bible that they no longer agree with.

Minor things.. .

Don’t eat shellfish

Don’t eat pork

Don’t work on the sabbath.

Stone an adulterer

It’s OK to keep slaves

Don’t mix linen and wool clothing items.

Savage goes on to say in his colorfully irreverent way that If Christians can ignore these things, they can just as easily learn to ignore the proscriptions against homosexuality.

I have to agree with him.

The Christian Right can’t pick and choose which rules it’s going to obey while at the same time condemning people with those same rules… That’s called hypocrisy.

Jesus christ

Hypocrisy on the part of the established religion of the time is one of the reasons Christ got put on the cross. Even the Roman governor found the whole matter distasteful. We know this because he literally washed his hands of it.

Pontius pilate

Believe me Pilate would never have put the question to the crowd if he was convinced in the slightest of Christs guilt.

The Romans would have marched Christ and all the other criminals right out to Golgotha and that would have been the end of the story and another false “Prophet”. Rome wasn’t known for dealing lightly with it’s prefectures & they were especially heavy handed in the case of troublemakers or rebels.

The hypocrisy I speak of is not that of the crowd who freed the murderer instead of Christ. The Hypocrisy was on the part of the Pharisees who had become rich and powerful and invested in the Roman occupation. For them, it wasn’t about worshiping their God anymore it was about maintaining the status quo and good relations with Rome.

No I have no intention of deifying either Dan Savage or Joe. They’re both far from saints and certainly can’t walk on water even in their very best heels. I simply point out that Dan Savage is right.

If the Christian right wants to really demonstrate it’s commitment to fundamentalist, literal intrepretation of the Bible… They have to take all of it.

So NOM, Focus on the Family, and all you other hypocrites shut the hell up until you’re ready to have some good old stonings of adulterers. Oh and you can start with a number of your leaders. You know who they are, they made impassioned public pleas for forgiveness when they got caught cheating on their spouses.

Impassioned plea or not… Biblical law is the Biblical law. We know you’re sorry… but the law says you must be stoned to death.

Hummm Starts to sound a LOT like the Taliban doesn’t it?

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