Category: General

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I do miss the silence

IMG 0865Made it to the mountain this week.

There’s a ton of stuff I should have done, but none of it really pressing.

I looked at the stack of paperwork on my desk and think, “I really should scan this stuff and shred the paper…” but I’m unmotivated. I have no desire to give any time to bureaucracy and documentation that serves other people’s purposes.

I’m tired but at peace. 

No sounds except the wind in the trees, birds and scurrying of small critters in some of the plants, those sounds are probably just lizards going about their lizardy day.

No traffic sounds, car alarms, sirens, or loud people. In short, bliss!

It’s a cooler morning, the sun has just crested the hills to the East and I’m sitting on the deck in a pair of ratty shorts with bed head and a cup of coffee.  The dog is checking out his yard making sure that nothing is amiss.

In just a few hours, it will be down the mountain to the heat, brightness, and chaos of the modern world. Ironic, since I’m participating to some extent in the modern insanity writing his blog. 

IMG 0864The neighbor’s dog is surveying his world from his outpost in his yard. He looks my way, recognizes me and focuses on something else, the king of his domain.

I used to be king, now I’m a slave to a time clock and petty, reactionary managers & supervisors. I don’t know why some people aren’t happy unless everyone else is miserable. For some reason, where I work has concentrated a substantial number of really petty, nasty, people in supervisory positions.

These people seem to go out of their way to make others unhappy and then delight in the ensuing discord.  Ahh, thinking about those people, and their insanity will wait until tomorrow. In its due time.

My phone is upstairs on my desk, having just shown me “Memories”. It was trying to be helpful but it failed. The “Memories” it chose were of my faithful pup who passed last year. It’s a bittersweet series of photos and feels a bit like having a wound reopened. I know in time, it won’t be as jarring at it is today, but I felt a little betrayed by my phone. So it’s sitting face down in a “Time-Out” lest it remind me of something else I don’t want to think about.

IMG 0863I’m just going to sit here a while, letting the cool breeze blow gently across my exposed skin and enjoy the fact that I don’t care too much what the neighbors may think of my sun starved pasty body. My pallor is a function of living life like a vampire.

As white as I am, they’d be blinded if they looked at me anyway. They should thank whatever deities they worship that I’m not completely nude.

This time is mine!

It’s the only time for the next week where there’s not something or someone demanding my immediate, urgent, or mandatory, attention. 

Either I’m getting old, or I’m becoming more antisocial like Riddick. Perhaps it’s just getting old, but so much of what people think is important… Just isn’t. 

Humm, I guess I’ll go get my phone and take a couple of pictures for this post. My phone has been punished enough.  The dog wants his treat and my coffee is empty anyway.

Make some time in your life to just be, it will do you a world of good.

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Happy 4th!

I hope you and your families had a safe and fun Fourth.

Don’t break the bank shopping at the Fourth Of July Sales and try to take some time to kick back & relax.

4th july us independence day

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Stuff that makes you say Humm…

Had the opportunity… well, maybe not opportunity so much as fell into it, to read a lot of my previous blog posts.

It was an interesting and telling experience.

I’m a lot “Darker” over the past 2 years than I was even when I was out of work.

Even being out of work, I still had hope and I was fighting to maintain that hope and better my situation.

Now I’m plainly disinterested.

Yes I’m working… but the job and demands of that job are draining. I have little hope, I’ve got income, but not enough to advance. Advancement in the organization I work for is non-existent. Clearly without advancement there will be no greater income aside from lousy 2% annual raises.

There other thing I’ve noticed is that over the last two years, I’ve not been creative. I’m bored by this job, and by the people I interact with. That boredom is evident in my writing and like many other things is a wake-up call that I need a change.

It’s not like I haven’t known this for some time. It’s just interesting to notice the change over time as chronicled in the blog.

Comfortably NumbOver the past couple of years, I’ve been feeling “numb”, so numb and isolated that I’ve actually lost the desire to interact with anyone or anything.

Granted in this age it’s easy to become distracted and isolated. Our overuse of technology makes that all too easy. But when all you have to look forward to is a never ending stream of sameness, I think you become “numb” just to keep the frustration in check.

I gotta shake things up, and nobody is going to make that happen for me… Except ME!

On a social front I’m trapped by my job and obligations to be elsewhere so in the immediate future there’s nothing I can change. I can however start carving out time for myself. Nothing major, just an hour here or there.

On the job front I must get out there and find a new job even if that means putting up with a thousand morons who are just trying to “SPAM” my resume all over town. Ideally, finding something interesting, even if it’s only temporary would be better than where I am now.

What’s the saying? Definition of the problem is the first step in solving the problem.

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Games Recruiters Play

Read this article on one of the jobs boards… 

It’s nice to see that I’m not alone. Now the question is; What do we do to solve this problem.

Games Recruiters Play – (Written by John Herrit, Posted on Jobcase) https://www.jobcase.com/conversations/33af68d3-7558-572a-805c-6faa5c592980

There are many games that IT Recruiters play. Here is are examples of just a few:

(A) The ‘bait and switch’

I receive many requirements in my email. One common game that IT Recruiters play is what I call ‘bait and switch.’ This game consists of me responding to a specific requirement. A recruiter calls me and says ‘I think you’d be a great fit for this position (calling it Position A) but I think you’d be even a better fit for this other requirement we have for Position B. Usually, Position B and Position A are completely unrelated. Sometimes Position A and Position B are different places or with different customers.

(B) The ‘Fake’ Job

This game is particularly frustrating for any job seeker. It’s when I respond to a requirement expecting that the customer needs someone right away. When the recruiter contacts me, I ask them what is the time table for their customer to fill this position. It’s when I don’t get a straight answer it’s then I realize that the recruiter’s company is working on a PROPOSAL for a contract. The hurtful thing about this game is you may NEVER hear from the recruiter, in reference, to this requirement again or if you do it’ll be sometime down the road (perhaps months)

(C) The Generic Job Description

I find this game to be very annoying because I respond to a particular requirement and I ask the Recruiter for a copy of the job description. I receive a job description that is so vague that it could apply to almost any job.

(D) The Multiple Submissions ‘Trap’

One of the cardinal rules for both Recruiters and Job Seekers is avoiding multiple submissions (e.g., having your resume being submitted to the same position multiple times). The paradox is that I’ll receive a copy of the same requirement for the same job from different Recruiters (often from the same Company). I get contacted by a Recruiter for this particular position and I point out to the them that I’ve received multiple emails regarding the same position. Some will try to tell me that their not the same but as I read the email that they’re describing the same position, at the same customer, often are worded almost identically. I like to point out to the Recruiter that their undermining their own efforts to fill the position. I sudden hear crickets chirping on the other end of the phone.

(E) When was the Last Time You Used this Skill?

This part of the pitfall of just about every job seeker. It’s called the ‘Resume Gap’ where you’re required everything you’ve done for the past zillion years. It turns out that there are time gaps when you’re unemployed or perhaps sick or you’re doing something else with your life. My experience is that Recruiters will zoom in on those ‘gaps’ in my resume. In my case, I was homeless from February 2004 – August 2004 and from February 2005 to August 2005. I would rather not talk about it since it was an incredibly painful time in my life. One of the favorite questions that a Recruiter will ask is ‘When was the last time you used ? ‘ If you don’t answer ‘last week’ then you’re pretty well hosed when it comes to a particular requirement.

(F) You Can Call It Stigma, Discrimination, or Whatever You Wish. It’s Still Means You’re Not Hired!

I’ve been bullied, put down, threatened and been blamed for just about everything under the sun in the workplace. I’ve dealt with stigma or age discrimination or harassment in the workplace. I’ve suffer from major depression and an anxiety disorder (I want to respond with ‘I’m not suffering from mental illness. I enjoy every minute of it!’). I was on a contract at the Coast Guard and I admitted that I suffered from a mental illness. All of a sudden, people thought I would go off on them at any moment. Then there’s the matter of my age (I’ll be 60 next month (06/28)), Experts say that older job seekers should edit out dates out of our resumes. Doing this raises a lot of questions from Recruiters or prospective Employers. Looking for a job seems like an eternal ‘Catch – 22.’

(G) Credit Checks and Security Clearances

I don’t know too many people who haven’t had credit problems or other financial problems in our lives. Yet some employers insist on doing credit checks on a candidate. My response is ‘I’m NOT applying for a car loan or a mortgage so why do you want to look into my credit history!’ We need a job to make money so we can PAY our bills so lets get abolish the financial background check as a prerequisite for employment. Having a security clearance is, for many positions, is essential to get a job in the Federal Government or as a Contractor with the Federal Government. I DID possess an Active Top Secret but don’t have it any more due to no fault of my own. Yet I’ve never had an opportunity to give my side of the story as to what happened.

(H) H 1-B Visas

H 1-B Visa program is designed to bring in high tech workers mainly from China and India. When talking about this problem, I don’t wish to sound like a racist or prejudiced. (My parents taught me to accept people as they are!) I’ve been on contracts where I’ve been the token ‘white boy.’ I get very annoyed when I hear about Companies who say they HAVE to fill positions using H 1-B visa workers because they’re aren’t any qualified Americans. I believe that there are hundreds of thousands of Americans who are more qualified to fill those positions but these Corporations don’t wish to pay them. I found H 1-B visa workers to be very good, don’t get me wrong, but they work for a lot less than a American.

(I) Calling and Not Leaving a Message

For me this is the ultimate faux pas! This is the most aggravating thing in the world. I have other things to do in my life so I can’t be waiting for the phone to ring. A corollary to this that most firms use 1-800 numbers to conceal their identity so I can’t tell if it’s a recruiter or a bill collector. It’s horribly rude and disrespectful!

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Well that was easy

The cable bill has been creeping up and it finally reached the annoyance level that caused me to pick up the phone.

I‘ve been meaning to take care of issues pertaining to my life for weeks, I come home from work with the intention to deal with shit every day, and honestly after dealing with everyone else‘s shit I haven‘t had the energy to deal with my own.

The lease renewal, the cable bill, groceries, you know, all the little bits of bullshit that run n the background of our lives.

Anyway, Wednesday, I was tired as hell. I‘m not talking tired from work, I‘m talking so exhausted that I came home, laid down and went immediately to sleep. Thursday morning, I was still dog tired and decided (with prodding from my body) that I just wasn‘t up for driving 2 hours up to the mountain, spending the night, and driving 2.5 to 3 hours back down to San Diego. So I stayed in San Diego and honestly spent all of Thursday napping.

This morning I woke up feeling almost normal. I‘m rested, and pretty relaxed. Thus far, I‘ve handled laundry, the lease renewal (I‘d toyed with the idea of moving to a better place), and just got off the phone with the cable folks.

Saved myself 40.00 a month, and got more for my trouble. I was going to pull the cable box entirely and switch to an antenna, but this is a 2 year deal and it includes HBO go. That alone is worth the price since the Apple TV knows what HBO go is and I can have movies on demand on the big screen.

I like having the ability to check local news etc, even if I don‘t use it all the time. Network TV is pretty much useless to me since my schedule is weird and most of the time the news just pisses me off. God knows, I generally don‘t need any help being pissed off.

Thus far this morning, I‘ve done laundry, cleaned, taken the trash out, cleaned some more, and am still relaxed and happy.

I think it‘s time for a shower and then I‘ll wander over to the barbershop for a haircut.

It‘s amazing what a little rest and a lot of sleep does for me.