Category: Musings

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Bad habits

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I used to smoke. 

Yeah, I was a smoker. I was the evil puffing bastard everyone has come to hate! I put your children at risk! According to the nanny state I should have been taken out and shot.

Not to put me out of my misery but out of yours.

I quit years ago and I still miss it.

Now theres an un-PC admission in this day & age!

I’m glad I quit and everything, but I liked the nicotine rush! I also liked that it killed my appetite and it was a lot easier to stay skinny.

The health benefits outweighed the desire to smoke and so I was able to leave it, albeit with regret in my past.

I quit because my best friend asked me one day how it was that I could justify going to the gym 4 days a week and still smoke when I came out of the gym?

It was a good question and as usual his logic was completely irrefutable.

I quit that day…

I still miss it.

I miss smoking when I’m drinking at a bar. You can’t smoke at bars in California anymore but I still miss it.

I miss smoking after sex. I miss the ashtray on my belly, the red cherry of my cigarette glowing in the darkness and me thinking quietly about what I’d just done and knowing that I was going to do it again when I stubbed out my smoke. I miss having my arm wrapped around my partner, their head on my shoulder while I smoked that in between fuck cigarette.

I doubt I’m the only man who feels that way.

I miss getting up from my desk and walking outside to have a smoke and bitch with my co-workers about the boss or the latest political fuck-up in the company.

I smoked because I enjoyed the taste, and the hit. Not because I was lured into it by unscrupulous corporations. (Their ads were enticing, who didn’t want to be the Marlboro Man?)  I knew damn well what I was doing.

My Dad smoked. It killed him, you’d think that I wouldn’t wax lovingly about cigarettes.

I didn’t start smoking until I was 18. Near the end of my smoking days, I was doing almost a pack a day.

The nicotine was one thing. I think I was self medicating a bit. Nicotine acts as a stimulant and because it’s a stimulant it has a very specific effect on persons who happen to have been treated in their childhood with drugs like Ritalin.

The child may have outgrown the reasons they were put on Ritalin but their bodies will always have an affinity for stimulants in general.

I’ve known more than one smoker who had been on Ritalin in their childhood, of those more than a few who really liked pharmaceutical grade stimulants. 

Interesting thing is that if their Doctor was smart and recognized certain traits they’d end up back on Ritalin and suddenly they’d stop smoking.

But sure… Ritalin is completely safe for your unruly child, we’ve been using it for 50 years on kids just like yours… (with no or generally undocumented, unproven ill effects.)

Moving on…

I recently had the opportunity to try one of those e-cigarettes. For those of you that don’t know, these are things that look like cigarettes and that provide a nice flavor and optionally a selectable hit of nicotine without the tar, and other nasty chemicals associated with combustion in a “real” cigarette.

It was nice…

Not exactly like smoking a cigarette, but it was pleasant.

Since then, I’ve done a lot of reading and investigation The jury is out about the negative effects of these devices.

About the only consistent thing is that they’re less unhealthy than a cigarette. The “Smoke” is essentially water vapor, there’s no smell, but there is a good taste (at least in the one I tried). You can choose the nicotine leveNewImagel and they’re also a lot cheaper than cigarettes. 

I’m not sure that I’m ready to start up with one of these things all the time but I do like the option.

The only problem I could see is that unlike a real cigarette you don’t know when you’re done. 

I’d smoke a real cigarette in about 10 -15 minutes if I wasn’t in a hurry. These e-cigs don’t burn down so you could find yourself completely losing track of time if you weren’t paying attention.

For someone like me that really enjoyed smoking even when I quit… these things might be a neat option. I could also see how they might assist in quitting for some people.

But I suspect that there will be a larger number of folks who switch over to this option. At least until the government starts to regulate them and drives the prices up to normal cigarette levels.

There’s also the fact that cigarettes used to be, and e-cigs still are cheaper than a monthly prescription of Ritalin.

I don’t know if that’s still the case. I haven’t looked into Ritalin in a very long time.

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The last Paraprosdokian

This Fridays Paraprosdokian was the last one queued.

20130222-092710.jpgIt’s funny, when I created all of them last year I though “dang it’s going to take forever for these to be used up. I hope they don’t bore people.”

Yet here we are, they’re done and I don’t really have a good idea about what to use to replace them, or even if they should be replaced.

It’s been weird, the last few weeks, I’ve been less & less interested in doing anything. I feel really bored and yet I should be pushing hard on a couple of fronts.

It’s like my drive has left me and even succeeding at things like securing insurance brings me no satisfaction.

Arguably, obtaining insurance should have made me feel better because it represented a victory against what I had come to feel was an unfair system.

The system is still unfair and it should be burned down and replaced with something that is more fair. Obamacare is not the replacement I think is appropriate but that’s another story all together.

I’m sorta thinking that I’ve been cooped up in the house too much and that’s given me a real bad case of cabin fever.

The problem is that with gas prices soaring I don’t really want to drive anywhere that I don’t have to. I guess it’s going to come down to me deciding that driving someplace to assuage the cabin fever is a “necessary” trip.

Spring and Fall are my two favorite times of year I should be getting happy about the coming Spring. Yet I’m feeling disconnected about it.

I suppose I should bite the bullet, pay for the gas and shake off the late Winter blues with a couple of short day trips. Changing the view might help.

Who’d have ever thought that I could get to a place where I took a view from my mountain for granted?

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Who do you trust?

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I was reading Twitter last night. (I have no idea how else to say that. You really don’t read twitter you scan it.) Anyhow… while scanning the hundreds of tweets, several started jumping out at me.

The strange part was that these tweets were from Anonymous, or someone claiming to speak for Anonymous.

I thought to myself “whats Anonymous doing reporting the news?”

Not that it’s inconsistent with their charter, but most of the time you think of them as making news by hacking into governments or corporations that have drawn the ire of Anonymous.

These tweets were reporting meteorite explosions over Russia.

I went to the first link thinking I was probably going to get infected by some kind of virus.

But no, there was a great video all in Russian showing a really bright streak with a glowing head. thick smoke trailing after it.

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I thought “wow” I wonder if it’s real? Call me suspicious of Russian websites.

There are so many Russian sites that seek to infect your computer with malware, I’ve gotten very wary of anything in Eastern Europe.

It’s a pity too, there are some excellent English language sites that report on world wide events with a lot less bias than the American media.

However, because I’ve been infected too many times from Eastern European websites I’ve stopped visiting any of them at all.

I’d forgotten how straight-up the Russian reporting usually is. 

The first video I saw was impressive and at first I thought it was a promo for some new SciFi movie.

The next videos dispelled that thought. It was amazing, there were obviously cell phone videos pouring into a Russian YouTube site.

They were all taken of the same event from different angles, it was obvious that this was a real event. Then the photos of the damage appeared.

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I flipped on the TV in time to catch the 11 O’ Clock news. 

I was disappointed, not one word of the event.

We could see the overflowing toilets from the Carnival Cruise ship, when the cabin Christopher Dorner was occupying was still burning the local news was saying that his body had been removed and identified.

But in a situation where something “REAL” was happening and it was ever more obvious that the event could be verified… Not one stinking word.

This might have simply been a local news phenomenon but even CNN was silent.

This morning of course, the American news agencies are all abuzz, probably because of the damage and the fact that 900 people were at last count reported as injured. 

Anonymous, has been reporting other things too.

Things like contrary to the official police statement the cabin in the Dorner case was purposely set on fire.

Like most people, I dismissed the Anonymous report at first, but now even the local news is saying the police might have intentionally used weapons known to cause fires.

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The Anonymous news items have been pretty egalitarian, and unbiased. They simply point to information and leave it to the reader to make up their own mind. No spin, just “hey, have a look at this.“

Does anyone else think it’s strange that a group of hackers is ahead of the curve on news stories and they’re publishing those stories reliably?

Our media tries to portray Anonymous as criminals, or disgruntled technology people. The network news makes Anonymous sound like a bunch of nerds hiding out in a basement creating problems and chaos for their own purposes.

Is that a true representation? I’m inclined to say no, maybe not.

I’m not willing to take everything Anonymous says and does as honest and true. But I’m willing to look at them in a different light. Perhaps Anonymous is just about information being free, unbiased, and presented to everyone.

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It’s funny. I hadn’t paid any attention to anything that Anonymous said or did until recently when I kept seeing their tweets retweeted by others. I saw time and time again their uncanny accuracy in reporting so I started following them.

It’s been an education. If nothing else, Anonymous has made me think and question. 

Perhaps that’s their point.

Keep questioning, keep thinking, keep an open mind, keep learning, just because the TV or the computer says something is true doesn’t mean that it is.

You don’t have to trust anyone or anything just because they’re “Authorities” or authoritarian, you can make up your own mind.

Before you decide the world is flat, do the research! You owe it to yourself. 

After all “There be monsters here…”

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Nice day even with a heck of a drive

Had a dental appointment today. The last under my current insurance plan.

Thankfully I’ve got good teeth. Otherwise I’m sure that insurance would decline to cover me calling it a “pre-existing” condition.

My teeth, and gums are a bit sore. But I’m going to be fine even if I just want soft food tonight.

I barely missed all the excitement coming home, I passed a sign saying that “all the mountain roads were closed” it was a bit of a concern.

As it turns out CALTRANS was overstating the issue. The mountain roads into the Big Bear area were closed. Not all mountain roads.

The police say that they’ve cornered Christopher Dorner. Apparently, Mr Dorner has been killed in a fire in a cabin.

I’ll wait until the forensic report comes out.

I’m amazed that the Dorner issue has preempted the POTUS State of The Union Address on some of our local TV stations.

This is the first time I’ve created a blog post on an iPad. So if there are any really goofy typos… I’m blaming the iPad!

Signing off to watch the State of the Union.

Should be interesting.

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The difference between Republicans and Democrats

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I know the political season is very much over. But snow season isn’t.

What does snow have to do with Republicans and Democrats? Let me explain.

When it snows the road that I live on is covered as are all the other roads in town. The difference is that my road is private and therfore not maintained by the county. (There’s a whole other story there)

This means that unless the road is cleared by the residents on the street it can quickly become impassable.

A decade ago when the majority of the people living on the street were Republicans we’d all be working in shifts with our shovels to keep the road clear.

If the storm was really bad we’d all pitch in and hire a local guy with a skiploader to clear the street, and if we kept him warm with hot chocolate or coffee and the occasional batch of cookies, brownies or cupcakes. he’d do the street, and all our driveways for about $150. We’re talking about 2 to sometimes 3 hours of work.

If the snow was light (meaning less than 8″), working together we could clear the road and all our driveways in about 45 minutes to an hour and in the process we talked and enjoyed each others company.

We’d have fun clearing the street, there was the occasional snow ball fight and neighborly camaraderie. We’d share tools, and news, and speculation about how long the storm was going to be.

In short we were a neighborhood and we were all working toward a common goal that served all our needs.

We looked after each other too. It’s not a really good idea to be alone shoveling snow. You can slip, fall and hurt yourself.

Imagine falling breaking a bone and having to crawl 100 yards back to your house because no-one can hear you yelling for help.

We’d have older folks out with their shovels too, and often the younger folks would take care of the older folks walkways and driveways just because it was the right thing to do. The older folks in return would keep warm beverages at hand (sometimes with a little extra kick.)  and they’d look after the smaller children while the rest of us were clearing the snow.

We learned too that if we got the snow off the street before it was driven on or had a chance to pack down then the first sunny day after the storm we’d have a dry ice free road. This was safer and more convenient for all of us especially when you wanted to have friends from below the snow level come up for a visit.

In all it was a nifty system that worked.

Over time, one family after another moved, to be replaced by other people and families. Nothing much was said about the first family living at the end of the street that never joined us in our snow clearing activities. They had small children, and it was no skin off our noses to clear the street and their drive.

It was looked upon as a social duty. After all, suppose one of the children needed to see a doctor during the night? Since the road was clear Mom & Dad could get the child out to a doctor if they needed to.

As a matter of civic duty especially for the older folks, we wanted to make sure that paramedics had unrestricted access to all the homes on the street.

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Then another family moved and was replaced.

Now we had two homes that weren’t assisting in snow removal and they also weren’t pitching in any cash on those rare occasions when we needed a skiploader to clear the street.

We still said nothing, and the rest of us still cleared the street.

Over time this replacement of families continued.

Then it was only a 70 year old woman and myself clearing the street. Meanwhile the 20- 40 somethings sat in their homes and in the morning enjoyed the fact that the road was passable and they could drive their kids to school. (After all children shouldn’t have to walk or ride a school bus should they? Yeah, a little sarcasm there.)

It was my 70 year old neighbor who first observed that all the neighbors that weren’t contributing to the common good had bumper stickers for Democratic candidates on their minivans or SUVs.

Her observation came in the middle of a snowstorm while we were arguing about whether she was going to go back inside and let me keep shoveling.

She could be a salty lady and her assessment of the situation was “Typical fucked up Democratic yuppies!”, as she glared at the warmly lit windows on the street.

I lost the argument about her going inside. She pulled the “I’m your elder! routine… Who can argue with that?”

The next year she purchased a home near Palm Springs and killed two birds with one stone. She was warm year round, and didn’t have to shovel any snow.

She’d come back to her home here in the mountains around April just in time for her garden to begin sprouting.

This left me the last Republican on the block, during the winter.

For years I’ve continued to clear the street alone.

I’ve got a 4wheel drive truck so I don’t really need to clear the street in most storms. My truck is good to about a foot and a half of snow.

I still think clearing the street is the responsible thing to do.

This last snow fall, I was clearing my drive and it occurred to me no-one asked me to clear the street. So I shouldn’t be annoyed that absolutely no-one will come out and help even if only for a few minutes.

Following that logic, if no-one asked me to clear the street I shouldn’t. Instead I’m going to clear only that which I feel responsible for and leave the rest to the other people on the street.

That’s exactly what I’ve done.

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I’ve already been asked questions. “Why isn’t the street clear?”, “Why is the berm so high? I can’t drive over it and my plastic shovel broke because it’s a wall of ice.”, “Why is the street so icy?”

The topper was this one, “I think you’re being mean by not clearing the street. How am I supposed to get to work?”

That ladies and gentlemen sums up the difference between Republicans and Democrats.

Republicans will shovel the snow off an entire street unasked, because they see the common good in doing it. Democrats expect someone else to do the shoveling.

Republicans will eventually get tired of being taken advantage of and let others around him sink or swim “each to their own ability“.  The Democrats will call him mean and angry.

When a Republican, through planning, takes care of himself and doesn’t need “The System”, the Democrats accuse him of an “I’ve got mine and fuck the rest of you attitude”

Food for thought…