Category: Job Search

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Well I woke up this morning…

Time to as Linkin Park says “let it go”

I’ve been a bit depressed over the past few months.  Gee could you tell?

Too many things to deal with and too much chaos and noise in my head.

I’m done with mourning the loss of yet another job. I think this is likely to be the new “Norm” for me and my so called “career”. As such, it really doesn’t fucking matter what I do so long as I make enough money to pay the bills.

Computers and computer stuff is easy. The problem is that I’ve been in a backwater of technology for about 4 “real” years. That loosely translates to 6 or 8 years in the “real” technology world, so there are some things that I’m behind on.

Under normal circumstances this wouldn’t be an issue, in these economic times… well I’m righteously fucked. And not in a good way!

This leaves me trying to piece together something that allows me to make a living from what I know and what I can learn quickly.

I’m still working on a book albeit slowly… I have no idea how much income something like that will generate, on the other hand it shouldn’t be that big a deal to handle publishing and distribution as an purely electronic affair. However, that’s in the longer term.

In the near term what?

After a conversation with a friend, I’m thinking I’d be better off checking into something computer related even if it’s only a contract position and not likely to last very long.

I used to think I was going to have a real career, and that I’d retire someday with a nice 401K and have time to travel and enjoy myself. The new reality is that I’ll be lucky if I’m not pushing a shopping cart and eating cat food.

I’m just going to accept that. There will be no corporate pension, no long term job, little if any security, and that’s just the way it is.

Since virtually all large companies now are centralized in their control, even if I had a fancy title like CTO I’d still have to ask permission to do my job from some other asshole. Either on another continent or in another city who has no fucking clue about what is actually happening at the site I’m responsible for. So I have no desire to enter into the management track for most companies. Why bother? Tons of responsibility, and NO AUTHORITY to act on those responsibilities.

Been there, Done that got the t-shirt and I’m not interested in repeating it. Unfortunately, the middle management or even upper management tracks are what you’re supposed to be screwing over your coworkers for.

Someone like me that knows the way those positions work is perceived as “Not a good worker or not ambitious” regardless of the quality of work they consistently turn out. After all if you’re not bending someone over a desk and ramming your cock hard, fast, and dry, up the poor bastards ass in a bid for promotion… you’re not working!

I’m so done with that philosophy. Taking short contracts, can fund explorations into careers that I might actually enjoy for the remainder of my working life.

So what are those careers or potential careers?

I’m continuously drawn to the hobbies that I think I like…

Why the uncertainty?

Well I really enjoy SCUBA. I’ve been diving in Hawaii, Florida, and Bonaire. I enjoyed everything about diving in those places.  Do I enjoy it enough to do it for a living? Would I like being a Dive Master or an Instructor? That, I don’t know. It bears investigation and I’m fortunate to have an acquaintance who I might be able to work something out with.

I also enjoy Photography and have been told I’ve got some skill at that. On the other hand, Several of the online stock photo sites HATED and rejected all of the 25 or so photos that everyone else absolutely loved. The other stock photo sites I’ve checked into have such restrictive licensing rules that if I submitted photos to them… I’d never be able to even give a photo away. I don’t want to lock myself in that way.

I need to add a significant amount of work to my rather small portfolio. That takes time and a bit of money.

Either of these options could be funded by contracts.

So It’s time to get off my ass, get over the feeling of failure and make sure that everything I do from here on out is with a view to my “retirement” career.

Stay tuned…

It should be an interesting ride.

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The EDD Saga…

I started writing this yesterday, but I was way too worked up to be able to complete it.

The State of California denied my claim for a 2 week period. They were apparently really pissed off that I didn’t mail my claim on time.

This is typical of how California works.

Since I’m part of the group that has been working, contributing, paying my outrageously high taxes, and the outrageous car licensing fees I’m penalized because…

I told the truth!

I misplaced the freaking form. 

The EDD never answers their 800 number so I couldn’t even report that I’d misplaced the form or ask for a new one.

In retrospect I should have LIED my ass off. But I’m not wired that way. I don’t think to lie first. Well I guess when dealing with the State I need to get into the habit!

OK fine… California is upset… I was a horrible, rotten, fuckwad and deserve to be punished. And they want their pound of flesh. Whatever…

The real problem is this.

Their letter is ambiguous. It tells me I have the right to appeal their denial. OK! Whatever you mother fucking EDD assholes say!

But due to it’s ambiguity the letter could be interpreted to mean that now all future claims will be denied too.

UHHHH WHAT????!

Now I’m freaking out and PISSED off as all HELL!

See, I have a real problem with “official” documents that are ambiguous. I feel that any documentation should be simple and to the point. The reader should never have to wonder what was meant, what was intended, or if the information applies to them.

The fact that the EDD letter was subject to interpretation left me frustrated.

Am I screwed completely or just a little? What should I do now? How do I resolve this?

Add the fact you can’t get these assholes to answer their phones and… well the walls close in!

Suddenly I felt completely overwhelmed and that I had no recourse or clear instructions to follow. That leads to a deep anger that my brother and I call berserker rage.

This “berserker” probably worked very well in battles of old. It must have worked great when disputes were settled by the swing of a broadsword or a battle ax. Even as the weapons changed it still helped, it gives us unbelievable focus in a fight.

The kind of focus I’m talking about is physical in nature. It’s hunter / predatory  mostly visual and eye hand coordination.

The few physical altercations I’ve been in during my life I didn’t start… I can say with certainty that the    berserker element of my personality finished them. I was the one standing when it was over and people were usually more than a bit shocked at the outcome.

In this bureaucratic world there is no clear enemy. Without a target, the berserker is not particularly useful. In a world of bureaucrats, paper, rules, “not my job” attitudes, where with a keystroke your life can suddenly be made miserable, there is little use for the berserker.

Now, a survival adaptation thats served well for centuries has become a liability. Without a target, the rage that fuels a berserker has no place to go. With no outlet, the rage turns inward and prevents you from thinking calmly and rationally.

It’s a problem that I’m working on. I don’t want to lose the berserker, I just need to keep it reined in when dealing with bureaucrats.

Yesterday, I dropped the reins. As I’m pacing and yelling,

In steps my better half… Quoting Arthur Dent, “I’m English… I know how to queue.” (I was so proud…)

I responded… “I’m German… we invade and impose order.”

6 or 7 phone calls later…. all of them to local field offices instead of the useless 800 number California prints on all their documentation, and we have an answer.

My better half had to tease little bits of information out of these offices. Nothing useful was volunteered and it really was a matter of asking the right questions.

It turns out, I’m only losing the payment for the period in question. I’m supposed to be receiving some additional claim forms which should catch me up.

Why couldn’t that have been clearly written in their letter? Better yet how about including the forms WITH the letter? Then even though the letter itself was ambiguous I’d have been able to figure out what they meant.

During the phone calls we discovered that there are other options to report continued claims. Really?

Apparently, one can phone a claim in, or even use the internet. Both bits of information might have been nice to have. It would have prevented my ever ending up in this position in the first place.

It turns out the EDD website operates differently if you access it using a Mac vs. Windows. The difference is subtle and deadly.

If you use Windows, menu items are visible that are not visible when using a Mac. These menus link you to things like how to set up phone continued claims, how to set up internet continued claims, make information requests, you know… Minor details!

So the major crisis is, for the moment put to bed. The adrenaline rush from being so pissed off and a small sinus problem left me exhausted.

As I was intermittently napping on the couch I was thinking about how California Unemployment Insurance treats the folks that are collecting like we’re on the clock or something.

Folks… IT’S INSURANCE!

That means I’m making a claim, if the claim is valid (i.e. I’m unemployed) then pay me the money I’m due just like any other insurance policy. I don’t see why California sees fit to punish what are effectively it’s customers.

What I can say is this…

I’m angry. I plan to take my FULL measure of payments and benefits out of California and when I’m done I’ll decide my next move.

I’m thinking it’s time to find a new place to live, a new career, and take my earning potential somewhere else.

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The Work Saga…

Gather ’round my children and you will hear… (Opps wrong mental channel. Click. Click.)

I’ve mentioned the work situation a couple of times, I figured I’d elaborate on it a bit.

Four years ago I joined the Military Industrial Complex. I did this after having diligently avoided Government / DOD entanglements for my entire professional career.

The draft had ended when I came of age. I registered, but never did military service. I didn’t volunteer because I knew I didn’t take orders well and would probably have spent my term of service in a brig somewhere.

Had I chosen a service it would have been the Marines or the Navy.

I went to work for a government contractor.

I was proud of this decision especially in light of 9/11, our ongoing wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and that I could have a chance to contribute to the safety of our troops and by extension our country.

I was even dedicated enough that I took a hefty pay cut, figuring that I was embarking on a career with a company that I’d be able to retire from. Biting the bullet in the short term meant an opportunity for some security, a decent pension, and great healthcare. In short, it was a worthwhile tradeoff given my longer term goals.

At my age I’m looking at the whole retirement thing. I don’t want to be eating cat food and pushing a grocery cart.

A lot of the businesses I’ve worked for in the recent past have not only off-shored much if not all of their work. They’ve used off shoring as a threat to engender fear in the remaining employees about loosing their jobs.

At the same time these companies have systematically reduced benefits, and essentially told the employee suck it!

That’s another story for another time. I will say this… I think off-shoring is tantamount to treason and should be punishable.

If you can fling your business across the fucking Pacific Ocean, you can fling that business to the heartland of America and put our out of work Citizens BACK TO WORK.

At the same time we’d  reduce pollution and our dependency on oil by eliminating commuting.

Apparently this simple logic escapes most of the extremely well educated elite who control government and industry. They’d rather see us all driving Priuses which cost as much as my “Luxury”  German Auto and aren’t nearly as nice or fun to drive.

I digress…

So I bit the bullet and I was good with it. I went to work in a slightly different environment than I was used to. I’ve spent a large part of my career testing software, the difference here was the official nature of the testing.

Things move along pretty well during year one. I even managed to take a vacation! Wow been a while since I had the time or the money to do that.

Years 2, 3, & 4 Just as summer begins, we have all hands meetings. In each of these meetings Management starts ringing this layoff bell. Each year the layoff warning bell gets rung a little earlier.

Each year the employees are asked to take vacation time. The managers explain that by doing this we’ll be protecting each others jobs because vacation pay comes out of a different budget.

The first couple of years people did as requested. After all, it was a team effort and in general we all want to protect each other. The last year we were asked if we could take unpaid time to help out. It was during this time that upper management saw fit to hire an intern.

So lets review, Management says our project is having funding issues and people are going to be laid off. They ask employees to take vacation time and unpaid time off, AND THEY HIRE AN INTERN! WTF?

Needless to say we all said NO Fucking way and all of us stopped pissing our vacations away and taking unpaid furlough days.

Strangely, no layoffs happened. But managers did get their bonuses managers always got their bonuses…which seemed odd.

This year, the layoff bell started ringing very early.

As I mentioned in a previous post this year it was for real, in fact the project that I was working on was effectively terminated. With no other projects to move to… So was I.

The signs of impending doom were all around. Most of the time they were written in flashing neon on the walls.

During the tail end of the project, we were asked to choose between furlough (unpaid) and outright layoff. The higher-ups  wanted us to take the furlough because they thought there might be another project waiting in the wings. I took the furlough because I was hoping for that new project and by doing so I would have medical insurance until Oct 1. 
By the time they finally admitted that there was in fact no new project and that we were really being laid off, management had 3 months to plan for the day. They had time to collect all the information that was necessary to process us all out smoothly and efficiently and yet… They were mostly un-prepared.
This was consistent with the way management had behaved for the entire four years I worked for the company.  While I was hoping that at the end they would have at least done us the courtesy of planning the day, I wasn’t terribly surprised to learn that no-one had bothered to train the person handling the exit process.
I no longer have any illusions about why we have 200,000.00 toilet seats, or how more expensive airframes that are still on the drawing board are selected for our military over airframes that are in fact ready and have already been test flown. 
Equally I’ve had a glimpse into the workings and mentality of the military industrial complex, and by extension the government.
For those of you wondering why the government is as much of a mess as it is, I suggest that you rent the movies Pentagon Wars it’s a comedy. 
Unfortunately it is far truer than anyone would like to admit. In particular the descriptions of the characters careers at the end of the movie is worth reading.

I once remarked that if what I was seeing at the company was occurring anywhere outside aerospace/defense industry there would have been heads rolling down the halls.

Of course I was told “this is how we do things…”

My retort was “Doesn’t make it right. “

I’ve learned my lesson, If something doesn’t seem right regardless of assurances like “We’ve always done it this way” I should stick to my guns… attempt to change the process or procedure for the better, and failing that… immediately look for a new job.