Category: Fail

California slaps me in the face.

I guess that’s better than my Brother punching me out and waking up in a deprogramming camp somewhere in a flyover state. Don’t laugh, I wouldn’t put it past him.

My brother is absolutely convinced that California is the worst state in the union. This is coming from a guy who has lived in New York, Washington D.C., and Minneapolis, MN. I think he looks at California as a contaminant to the rest of the United States.

I’ve lived here so long a lot of the insanity here seems “normal”. When I’m out of California for a while I find myself thinking how strange this place is.

Then there are days like Wednesday…

I had my car in for service. I had a loaner and as usual I returned the loaner with a full tank of gas (even though they gave it to me with less than 1/4 of a tank) Hey, They Loaned me a brand new car. I treat it like when a friend loans you their car. Custom was, that you return your friends car clean, and full of gas.

All was well. The issue with my car could not be reproduced so It’s a waiting game until the failure becomes a bit more obvious if it’s really a problem at all. It’s one of those things that is a weird sound. But it might be nothing at all.

Nonetheless I got two new tires and an alignment. The two old tires were showing their belts in a couple of spots. It was time! Especially since we’re coming up on winter and wet roads.

I went out to my car and opened the door.

WTF?!?!?!

Someone had been using my iPhone cables that were stored in the center console. I wouldn’t have minded except that it was obvious the person had also been playing their music through the car’s sound system. This was easy to determine because the cable was connected to the USB AUX IN (inside the console), and the entertainment system said “NO USB SOURCE”

But it didn’t stop there, both seats, Passenger and Driver’s were covered in greasy dirt.

Okay…

Time to go bring this to someone’s attention.

I tell the supervisor that we have a problem, as I’m heading into the parts department to purchase a package of leather cleaner wipes. $5 no big deal and I’ll use them next time I hit the car wash.

As I’m wiping the Driver’s seat I discover two deep gouges in the leather. Not quite cuts, but deep narrow gouges. Probably caused by a tool in someone’s back pocket or a clip of some kind attached to someone’s belt.

Now I’m seriously annoyed and I march back to the supervisor’s desk to bring this to his attention.

On the plus side, if the car hadn’t been dirty when I got it back I might not have noticed the gouges.

I was nice, but I told the dealership this kind of thing is beyond unacceptable.

They agreed!

Next time, I’m pulling all the cables out of the console. Oh, and there will be a next time because they’ve told me they will repair the damage to my seats.

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I needed a drink. So I called a close friend and we went to lunch.

That was nice, and I was much happier getting back on the road. I really do like my car better than the loaners.

It’s 2:30 as I pull out of the restaurant parking lot. I make it to the 261 out of Orange County by 2:40 and the toll road is pretty clear.

I should have made it home in about 90 minutes. NOPE!

2.5 hours later I’m in the line to get off at my exit. I’ve been creeping up the hill for the past 20 minutes. And as I approach the exit, assholes start cutting in from the left. Why? Simple, because they are dicks! All the rest of us had been waiting patiently. Cutting in from the left like that is just jumping the line. These assholes know they can do it because no-one wants an accident and that’s the only way you can stop an asshole from cutting the line at an exit.

Them cutting the line like that by the way just makes the problem at the exit worse because now there’s more turbulence and more danger.

After the 10th motherfucker (This one diving directly in front of me,) I lost my shit and started laying on the horn.

For those of you living outside of California, that is supposed to be the height of rudeness when driving.

But wait it gets worse…

There’s road work near the exit. They’re putting lights in, (about fucking time!) Actually we did fine without lights since 1992 when I moved up here. There was only a stop sign. It was a 4 way stop and people OBEYED the law.

Now we’re getting lights. They’ve made one lane left turn only. The other lane is right turn only or straight through. The lights at the freeway exit are operational. The left turn lane turns into a single lane and YET, people insist on making left turns from both lanes then causing accidents when they run out of lane, and into concrete barriers.

I’ve watched an 18 wheeler make the turn illegally from the right turn only lane and damn near decapitate a motorcyclist in the process.

Again…

It’s about obeying the LAW. But apparently people in California have decided that the law applies to everyone else not them.

Kind of like the Biden clan. Or a lot of the Democrats in congress.

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The thing is, 200 miles outside California, driving changes. Get past the Las Vegas strip and people even in NV are halfway decent drivers. Arizona, on the I-40 people get super courteous. Phoenix and Tucson are a lot more like California was 20 years ago. Don’t worry, they’ll both get as shitty as California traffic is because the Californians are bailing to Phoenix and Tucson.

There are also a lot of illegals driving there too and the mix of these drivers and those who learned to drive in the United States tend to breed a lot of shitty traffic and / or a lot of accidents.

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All of this is to say that by the time I manage to get home, these days, I’m really wound up. It’s also why I don’t really like leaving the mountain. Driving has become such a chore. Either you’re expecting someone to barrel into you from 1 (or more) of 3 directions. Or you’ll drop from 75 MPH to 0MPH for absolutely no reason.

Well, there is a reason, some moron ahead of you is tapping on their brakes in time with a RAP song and the uncertainty and randomness of the flashing tail lights is causing everyone to tap their breaks too because they think there’s something happening on the freeway.

All it takes is one idiot in the fast lane farting around and the whole freeway turns into a fucked up traffic jam.

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Anyway, after I got home, I had time to take the pup for his walk. It was a short one because I don’t like walking him in the dark.

We have bears, mountain lions, bobcats, and coyotes. Generally, they’re all happy to avoid a human and his dog in the daytime. But at night, things change. These critters conclude they might have an advantage and things can go south from there.

I’d hate to be responsible for one of these beautiful creatures being put down, because I did something really stupid and looked like I was walking a tasty treat, or worse yet… That I was a tasty meal. Either event would result in one of these creatures being hunted and killed.

That would be tragic.

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I need to schedule a spa day for the dog. I’ve got my haircut scheduled. I’d like a massage maybe I’ll schedule that in the upcoming week or so.

I’ll keep tossing stuff out of the house through the winter. The goal is to have the place in shape enough to put it on the market the first day of spring.

As I started this post. Just about when I think staying in California would be okay… The reality of California slaps me in the face. One of those realities is traffic getting consistently worse.

Another reality is $425 registration fees for a vehicle. And let’s face it, jobs are problematic. Both of my 2 oldest friends. Guys I met when I first moved to California, we started working at Toys R Us in our teens, have retired in the past year.

Why? Because they were being chronically fucked with by managers who couldn’t manage their way out of a wet paper bag.

I retired because no-one claiming they’re hiring will return a fucking phone call.

Note, none of us have reached “Retirement” age. We’re taking our Social Security early.

We’d all like to work…

But we’re apparently the wrong sex, wrong color, and the wrong age.

So we’ve all decided to take our football and go home.