Category: BullShit

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Video Chat Etiquette… OR When did we become such touchy feely pussies?

I had an hour or so tonight. I’m a little pent up and figured “what the hell I’ll go rub one out.”

I’m just about to sign off the ‘net to go sign onto my personal pleasure time when an Old friend pops on one of the chat programs and says hi.

I start the video feed and since I’m sans shirt he makes some crack like you naked?? I pan the camera down and Why, yes… yes I am naked as the day I was born.

He smiles and his clothes disappear like the Enterprise Transporter got them.

We start doing what boys do. And we’re having a great time talking dirty and being nasty.

Then he has someone at his door. It’s an old friend of his and my friend has to go. Annoying yes… but shit happens and I was going to go play by myself anyway.

Then I think wait a minute I’m kinda wanting to be an exhibitionist so I sign onto ispq and almost immediately I’m getting quick messages.

I answer the dumbfuck wimpy “hi” messages.

I even answer the messages that have NO text in them.

I’m prowling, I want to play, I want to show, I’m not really up for “hi…”

Let me make this clear

IF A DUDE ANSWERS YOUR MESSAGE, COCK IN HAND HE’S NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR FEELINGS!

Don’t tell him you’re not ready,

Don’t pepper him with endless ONE line messages.

Just shut the FUCK up, grab your cock, and answer the video chat request. OR NOT.

And if it’s NOT then have the good graces to not keep sending chat messages.

If a guy asks you into a videochat say yes, say no but you really should understand he wants to video because HES GOT HIS HANDS FULL.

I was asked the following tonight.

“Hi” [ 5 times] — Uh can’t we be a little more literate?  How about “Hello,  I liked your profile are you here to chat or are you wanting to just get to stroking?”

“hi..you bi? curious” — Really? DOES IT FUCKING MATTER? I answered your message with cock in hand who cares if I’m bi, curious, straight, or gay. Cock in hand trumps stupid questions.

“you hairy chested? ” — Uhmmm you have a picture of me from tits to balls cock in hand. You really need to ask this?

“how big is cock?” — Does it matter? you’re not going to be deep throating it, or taking it up your ass over a video link.

“you´re hot, but I´m not horny enough for a cam fun” — this you say AFTER you’e joined and left a live videochat? FUCK YOU!

“do you have skype chat?” — the answer is YES what’s YOUR address?

“you look like my fuckbuddy… nice body…” — Thanks, stroke your dick with me and stop chatting!

“when you cum last” — Really? AGAIN… DOES IT FUCKING MATTER? I’m obviously wanting to cum TODAY…. NOW!

“Hi how are you?” — again, I’m fine and obviously looking to rub one out answered with cock in hand.

“what you up to?” — Ummmm stroking my cock see picture above!

“just signed on and looking around” — fine are you going to join me OR NOT?

“uncut?” — I guess I could see this one. There are things you can ask to see on an uncut cock that you can’t on a cut one.

<blank> Picture — whatever.

<blank> shirtless picture — Ok you’ve got my interest

“Show face” — Ok you lost me with that You’ll see my face and everything else if you let me get on with the videochat

When I’m allowed to stroke my dick and not being forced to answer stupid questions I actually put on a pretty good show. AND that show is FREE.

MEN if you’re going to jerk off … DO IT enjoy it and let everyone else enjoy themselves too. Stop acting like a bunch of huggy touchy feely spineless doormats.

What happened to us? I remember it being “normal” to haul my cock out of my pants IN a BAR and be stroked & sucked until I couldn’t take anymore touching.

Here’s The Single message  I sent to a guy later in the night when I logged back into ispq to just flat out block those other morons.

His opening message was a picture of him tits to balls and he said “Hello you up for some play?”

Hola dude. you missed me by about an hour. I was raring to go and wanted to stroke with a guy.
After 5 guys that kept chatting when I wanted to stroke cock not type.
I logged off and did my thing alone.
I wont do that to you. Friend me and next time I’m available lets rub one out together.
I logged back on to block one of these guys cause he was just annoying as hell
Would have loved to videoed with you though.

After he got my message. This man even had the courtesy to say “thanks man” he went on to find someone who was up for it. That’s STYLE and I’ll look for him specifically the next time I’m in a mood.

I have often thought about setting up an Xtube account. Maybe this is why that service is so popular. 

At least then I could charge for my exhibitionism.

When folks at paying by them minute they tend to be a lot less annoyingly verbose.

Everybody needs multiple income streams don’t they?

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The Car saga continues

This entry is in general about the car but there are broader implications in what I’m about to say.

To recap, the car started acting up then I got a check engine indication.

After a  day or so the dealership said the problem originated from both turbo waste gates malfunctioning.

Aside from the strange coincidence that both units malfunctioned at the same time and that I’ve been chasing some kind of gremlin around the car since 2009. I’m more or less happy that finally some hard indication of a problem existing in the car has been documented.

I’m MORE than annoyed that when I started reporting issues I was WELL within the factory warranty and now that someone actually saw a problem I’m close to the end of the extended warranty. But that is simply the way things are and there’s nothing to be done about it.

90% of the issue in this case is the reliance of the dealerships on their diagnostic and onboard computers, then doing ONLY the minimum required NOT actually engaging in diagnosis.

Diagnosis being the logical testing and elimination of potential problems until the actual problem was found and corrected.

In many if not all of todays vehicles the “Technician” (Give me a good old fashioned MECHANIC any day.) interrogates the onboard systems and if they say nothing is wrong… Well then NOTHING is wrong!

I swear, The car could have come in on a tow truck with the engine not even turning over and if the computer said everything was fine, then some of these “Technicians” would return the car still not running with “No problem found”.

There is however an overarching problem in our society.

In my opinion this problem will continue to undermine us until we put a stop to it, or until the United States we know is just another 3rd world cesspool.

The problem is the minimalist approach.

Let me give you an extreme example.

You go in for surgery. Your doctor and surgeon have determined that you have a cancerous tumor in your gut. So they prep you and slice you open. While they’re inside you they see another tumor of a slightly different kind. They note in your records and remove ONLY the original tumor as required by the insurance company and per the legal documents you signed when you were admitted. 

Then they schedule you for another surgery next month to remove the OTHER tumor. Of course the doctors get to hit you with double the costs and drive up the insurance payout. So literally everyone in the situation WINS….

Except of course the poor bastard that’s being sliced and diced.

This makes no fucking sense, we all know it defies logic. Yet we have examples of this kind of thinking all over the place.

There was a place I worked where we tested software. I’m a black box, start to finish, end to end, front to back, kind of Quality Assurance Engineer.

I’m proud of that and I take pride in my ability to find problems in software. (Except when I’m finding issues with software I’m not being paid to test… Windows? Anyone?)

This company was all about process, procedures, and documentation. Problem was they only tested to prove the requirement was met. It didn’t matter that the software under test didn’t actually fucking work!

The focus was so narrowly on meeting the individual requirement that they’d lost sight of the overall system. Requirements are, in general the MINIMUM thing necessary.

That’s the problem. Accountability means meeting the minimum. In a homogeneous work environment where the person that excels is never rewarded for their excellence, you build in mediocrity. You really cement in that “It’s not my job” mentality.

Another aspect of this is that costs are driven up and MORE busy work is being created, customer satisfaction drops into the shitter, customer loyalty becomes a thing of the past, OH AND you increase waste and consumerism.

Why? Because usually in these situations the customer spends an inordinate amount of time dicking with getting their problem SOLVED!

More often than not the customer in frustration SOLVES the problem by tossing the offending “Whatever” in the trash Then they buy another similar item from another vendor.

 In this age of being green, hugging Mother Earth, carbon credits, and political posturing for environmental responsibility, you’d think the first thing to work on is fucking quality!

Here’s another example.

This is an actual email thread I had with the guy at the dealership today.


ME:

It occurred to me that there is a lot of oil going through the turbos.

If I remember general turbo construction the turbos depend on oil for a part of their cooling and they may even use oil bearings dependent on design.

This begs a question.


The next service interval was about 7000 miles in the future. It doesn’t make any sense to me that you’d put new turbos on the car and then subject them to OLD oil. Does this turbo replacement INCLUDE the OIL CHANGE and whatever other service is indicated?

It makes sense for the health of the car and frankly my convenience to just do the next service early. Is there any way we can take care of this now?

THEM:

The issue was not with the Turbo it self but the waste gate. The waste gate is attached to the Turbo

ME:

OK,

Are the waste gates external to the turbochargers? I know that’s a possible arrangement.

From the expense of the repair I assumed that both the turbochargers were being replaced as units which contained the turbos and gates

If it’s a whole unit replacement then it still makes sense to drop the oil and do the other service. Just so the turbos have a clean start.

If the waste gates are external, then i wouldn’t have expected them to be quite as expensive since there’s nothing particularly exotic about them.

In any case. The point is that I’m planning to take the car on a couple of trips over the next 6 weeks because of those plans I want to make sure it’s fully up to par before I leave.

Another question, I just want to confirm this is an N54 engine correct?

THEM:

Yes, It is an N54 engine. We can change the oil is you would like. I have a coupon for $99.00

ME:

OK

Do the oil change.

Change the Air intake filter.

Change the micro-filter.

I realize that those items are not included and will cost additional money. If it’s not over 200.00 then do it

Otherwise let me know what the estimate is.

Also and this is vitally important. Make sure that I haven’t missed ANYTHING that would be included in the service that is DUE in 7000 miles.

I’m looking at the “Service and Warranty guide.” And didn’t see anything that jumped out at me. If I did miss anything let me know.

IF there is nothing else that should be done for the upcoming service,

Then reset the service interval (CBS) system.

I’m attaching the oil service coupon.

To Recap

I currently Owe you for the Air conditioning service

I will Owe you for the oil change

I will Owe you for the air filter

I will Owe you for the micro filter

THEM:

Ok

THEM 2nd Email:

It’s about 364.45 for the oil & filter, air filter and micro filter

ME:

Do it

THEM:

Ok


IS IT ME???

There are several places in this email exchange where this guy is JUST not answering the questions.

I’m not naming anybody here but for FUCKS Sake! Why did I have to go digging up information,
Why was this apparently some kind of issue? Frankly this guys approach seems to me to be EVASIVE as hell and being a QA person this is like putting blood in the water in a school of great whites.

Again this is indicative of the minimalist approach.

This service guy SHOULD have suggested that we do the interval service NOW.

As I pointed out it makes ME the customer happier so I don’t have the car BACK in for service in a month or two.

Yet because the FUCKING computer didn’t tell him to THINK! He was just going to let it go.

I STILL don’t know if the DAMN turbos are being replaced in their entirety or if the waste gates are EXTERNAL to the turbos.

What I DO know is that you can’t ever hurt a car by changing it’s oil. I know that you can’t hurt a car by changing it’s air filter, and I KNOW that I drive in a dusty environment so it’s likely that the air intake and cabin intake filters are dirty. Yeah, maybe not dirty enough to require changing, but for FUCKS sake it isn’t going to hurt and in fact may help the new hardware get off to a healthy start.

At least mention the option… I can take it or leave it but DON’T make me feel like I’m having to fight you for it.

Again meeting requirements but not going beyond what the computerized program SAYS to do…


If all we are doing is reading scripts from our computer screens, in no time the computer will be reading the script and the humans will be living under an overpass like every other 3rd world cesspool..

I just can’t wrap my head around this kind of thinking, It’s so wasteful and irritating and then you see news articles speaking of low customer satisfaction and the writers are at a loss as to why.

All anyone has to do is try to have their car repaired, or call customer service for their computers, cellphones, game consoles, or televisions, or telephones.

Don’t we all cringe when we hear

“Yes Sir, I understand your concern…”
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Even Canada?

I was sad to see the news about the riots in Vancouver this morning. It’s a pity that moronic sports fans can make make such a mess.

 I really thought that Los Angeles had the lock on stupid violent fans. We have riots over basketball games, and beat visitors to our city damn near to death.

In light of the behavior of the sports fans here in LA, and the obscenely high ticket and concession prices, I’ve been wondering if it would just make sense to tell the sports teams to find somewhere else to be. Not a basketball fan here, I do like Baseball and the occasional football game but I have zero desire to put my personal safety at risk by driving to the heart of LA just to see a game.

Universally it’s pretty much accepted you never visit any city or country that has a team in the soccer playoffs. Trampled in the stands being the least of your worries. The looting., and violence that happens regardless of the outcome of the match says something about the KIND of people that show up at soccer matches.

I suppose I’ll add Vancouver to the list of places NOT to visit during hockey events.  I never imagined Canadians as looters and thugs looking for an excuse to riot and steal.

I guess the shitty elements of society are everywhere.

I hope that the Canadians, make the folks arrested last night clean up the mess. I’ve always believed the TAX payers of any city or country shouldn’t have to foot the bill for the mess caused by a badly behaved fans.

Unfortunately, by the time you get through the court system, the mess has already been cleaned up and the tax dollars have been spent twofold. 

I guess that leaves harsh community service penalties. Humm…. 2 years of street sweeping with a broom, or cleaning up public parks by hand sounds about right.