Author: wwducat

About: Writer, Technology guy, Photographer, Possibly EX-Software QA Engineer, Worker Bee. Interests: SCUBA, Working out, Friends, New Views, New Vistas, Photography
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The Car saga continues

This entry is in general about the car but there are broader implications in what I’m about to say.

To recap, the car started acting up then I got a check engine indication.

After a  day or so the dealership said the problem originated from both turbo waste gates malfunctioning.

Aside from the strange coincidence that both units malfunctioned at the same time and that I’ve been chasing some kind of gremlin around the car since 2009. I’m more or less happy that finally some hard indication of a problem existing in the car has been documented.

I’m MORE than annoyed that when I started reporting issues I was WELL within the factory warranty and now that someone actually saw a problem I’m close to the end of the extended warranty. But that is simply the way things are and there’s nothing to be done about it.

90% of the issue in this case is the reliance of the dealerships on their diagnostic and onboard computers, then doing ONLY the minimum required NOT actually engaging in diagnosis.

Diagnosis being the logical testing and elimination of potential problems until the actual problem was found and corrected.

In many if not all of todays vehicles the “Technician” (Give me a good old fashioned MECHANIC any day.) interrogates the onboard systems and if they say nothing is wrong… Well then NOTHING is wrong!

I swear, The car could have come in on a tow truck with the engine not even turning over and if the computer said everything was fine, then some of these “Technicians” would return the car still not running with “No problem found”.

There is however an overarching problem in our society.

In my opinion this problem will continue to undermine us until we put a stop to it, or until the United States we know is just another 3rd world cesspool.

The problem is the minimalist approach.

Let me give you an extreme example.

You go in for surgery. Your doctor and surgeon have determined that you have a cancerous tumor in your gut. So they prep you and slice you open. While they’re inside you they see another tumor of a slightly different kind. They note in your records and remove ONLY the original tumor as required by the insurance company and per the legal documents you signed when you were admitted. 

Then they schedule you for another surgery next month to remove the OTHER tumor. Of course the doctors get to hit you with double the costs and drive up the insurance payout. So literally everyone in the situation WINS….

Except of course the poor bastard that’s being sliced and diced.

This makes no fucking sense, we all know it defies logic. Yet we have examples of this kind of thinking all over the place.

There was a place I worked where we tested software. I’m a black box, start to finish, end to end, front to back, kind of Quality Assurance Engineer.

I’m proud of that and I take pride in my ability to find problems in software. (Except when I’m finding issues with software I’m not being paid to test… Windows? Anyone?)

This company was all about process, procedures, and documentation. Problem was they only tested to prove the requirement was met. It didn’t matter that the software under test didn’t actually fucking work!

The focus was so narrowly on meeting the individual requirement that they’d lost sight of the overall system. Requirements are, in general the MINIMUM thing necessary.

That’s the problem. Accountability means meeting the minimum. In a homogeneous work environment where the person that excels is never rewarded for their excellence, you build in mediocrity. You really cement in that “It’s not my job” mentality.

Another aspect of this is that costs are driven up and MORE busy work is being created, customer satisfaction drops into the shitter, customer loyalty becomes a thing of the past, OH AND you increase waste and consumerism.

Why? Because usually in these situations the customer spends an inordinate amount of time dicking with getting their problem SOLVED!

More often than not the customer in frustration SOLVES the problem by tossing the offending “Whatever” in the trash Then they buy another similar item from another vendor.

 In this age of being green, hugging Mother Earth, carbon credits, and political posturing for environmental responsibility, you’d think the first thing to work on is fucking quality!

Here’s another example.

This is an actual email thread I had with the guy at the dealership today.


ME:

It occurred to me that there is a lot of oil going through the turbos.

If I remember general turbo construction the turbos depend on oil for a part of their cooling and they may even use oil bearings dependent on design.

This begs a question.


The next service interval was about 7000 miles in the future. It doesn’t make any sense to me that you’d put new turbos on the car and then subject them to OLD oil. Does this turbo replacement INCLUDE the OIL CHANGE and whatever other service is indicated?

It makes sense for the health of the car and frankly my convenience to just do the next service early. Is there any way we can take care of this now?

THEM:

The issue was not with the Turbo it self but the waste gate. The waste gate is attached to the Turbo

ME:

OK,

Are the waste gates external to the turbochargers? I know that’s a possible arrangement.

From the expense of the repair I assumed that both the turbochargers were being replaced as units which contained the turbos and gates

If it’s a whole unit replacement then it still makes sense to drop the oil and do the other service. Just so the turbos have a clean start.

If the waste gates are external, then i wouldn’t have expected them to be quite as expensive since there’s nothing particularly exotic about them.

In any case. The point is that I’m planning to take the car on a couple of trips over the next 6 weeks because of those plans I want to make sure it’s fully up to par before I leave.

Another question, I just want to confirm this is an N54 engine correct?

THEM:

Yes, It is an N54 engine. We can change the oil is you would like. I have a coupon for $99.00

ME:

OK

Do the oil change.

Change the Air intake filter.

Change the micro-filter.

I realize that those items are not included and will cost additional money. If it’s not over 200.00 then do it

Otherwise let me know what the estimate is.

Also and this is vitally important. Make sure that I haven’t missed ANYTHING that would be included in the service that is DUE in 7000 miles.

I’m looking at the “Service and Warranty guide.” And didn’t see anything that jumped out at me. If I did miss anything let me know.

IF there is nothing else that should be done for the upcoming service,

Then reset the service interval (CBS) system.

I’m attaching the oil service coupon.

To Recap

I currently Owe you for the Air conditioning service

I will Owe you for the oil change

I will Owe you for the air filter

I will Owe you for the micro filter

THEM:

Ok

THEM 2nd Email:

It’s about 364.45 for the oil & filter, air filter and micro filter

ME:

Do it

THEM:

Ok


IS IT ME???

There are several places in this email exchange where this guy is JUST not answering the questions.

I’m not naming anybody here but for FUCKS Sake! Why did I have to go digging up information,
Why was this apparently some kind of issue? Frankly this guys approach seems to me to be EVASIVE as hell and being a QA person this is like putting blood in the water in a school of great whites.

Again this is indicative of the minimalist approach.

This service guy SHOULD have suggested that we do the interval service NOW.

As I pointed out it makes ME the customer happier so I don’t have the car BACK in for service in a month or two.

Yet because the FUCKING computer didn’t tell him to THINK! He was just going to let it go.

I STILL don’t know if the DAMN turbos are being replaced in their entirety or if the waste gates are EXTERNAL to the turbos.

What I DO know is that you can’t ever hurt a car by changing it’s oil. I know that you can’t hurt a car by changing it’s air filter, and I KNOW that I drive in a dusty environment so it’s likely that the air intake and cabin intake filters are dirty. Yeah, maybe not dirty enough to require changing, but for FUCKS sake it isn’t going to hurt and in fact may help the new hardware get off to a healthy start.

At least mention the option… I can take it or leave it but DON’T make me feel like I’m having to fight you for it.

Again meeting requirements but not going beyond what the computerized program SAYS to do…


If all we are doing is reading scripts from our computer screens, in no time the computer will be reading the script and the humans will be living under an overpass like every other 3rd world cesspool..

I just can’t wrap my head around this kind of thinking, It’s so wasteful and irritating and then you see news articles speaking of low customer satisfaction and the writers are at a loss as to why.

All anyone has to do is try to have their car repaired, or call customer service for their computers, cellphones, game consoles, or televisions, or telephones.

Don’t we all cringe when we hear

“Yes Sir, I understand your concern…”
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Bad… Spooky bad

I read this article this morning and it sent chills down my spine.

This is bad ju ju… very very bad ju ju.

Apparently in addition to having to worry about your credit score (BTW… a completely subjective, fictitious number anymore after the banking / mortgage disaster…) now you’re going to be graded, rated and judged on your influence score.

Yep, Your Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn accounts now are going to be used to create an influence rating. That rating may be used by others to decide if you’re worthy of perks. The article suggests that perhaps even jobs would be offered or withheld based on your influence score.

Klout allows you to log in a see your score right now. I didn’t check mine…

Personally, I see this as a very good reason to delete all my social media accounts so that I’m not in the system and therefore not scored.

I could see a situation 20 years in the future… “Oh no sir we’re not allowed to perform medical procedures on you… Yes Sir, I understand you have enough cash but your influence score is just too low. You’re not relevant enough to continue to live. NEXT! Please sir, step aside for someone who is more motivational.”

After all, we all know just how well the credit scoring system worked. If your credit score is too low you couldn’t buy houses, or cars, or get credit cards. That way the financial system in the United States is protected from bad debt. YEAH RIGHT!

Folks we need to move away from shit like this!

Already some employers are asking for your social media accounts and blog addresses as part of the application process.

If an HR person doesn’t like something they see, or you don’t “friend” them fast enough you can loose job opportunities. It’s no longer about what you can do for the company…  it’s about your personal life as well.

We need to start dealing with each other Face to Face again. Arbitrary indexing and scoring is simply another way to strip us of our humanity.

Maybe I’m wrong here but this just feels like a very slippery slope.

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Today… Three Years Ago a Good Friend Died

For some reason this 3 year mark is having a bit more impact on me than I expected.

In December 1990 John decided to do a photo spread for Male Pictorial. This Picture is from the Feb 1991 edition of  that magazine.

In early June 2008 there was a house fire and I lost every picture I had of John and my copies of that particular issue of the magazine. (Thank god almost everything is out on the internet somewhere.)

On June 26th 2008 I lost my friend John too.

Seeing him in this picture is strange and yet it makes me smile.

I remember the mad scramble that morning to get him out the door for the photo shoot.

He’d flown in the day before, spent the night at my place and we were climbing over each other sharing a bathroom that morning.

He was frazzled and had a terrible case of nerves. It was, after all a nude photo shoot. I remember grabbing his dick and pulling him away from the mirror then kissing him on the cheek and whispering in his ear he was going to be great.  I gave his cock a squeeze and let go. He stood there then smiled and hugged me from behind while I was brushing my teeth. His eyes weren’t worried anymore he just hugged me then moved me away from the sink chuckling.

I remember the rumbling of his chuckle in his chest, the warmth of his body against mine, and laughing when I realized I’d be finishing my teeth at the kitchen sink. I was finishing at he kitchen sink because he’d picked me up, turned and set me in the doorway of the bathroom.

Then he’d commandeered the bathroom mirror again. His eyes were confident and self assured again.

He was great, and himself, he was strong, beautiful, and at the top of his game.

We were like that with each other from almost the moment we met. There was an honesty, playfulness, and genuineness between us. I suppose it was love for each other right from the beginning, like brothers that had never met.

That we became friends was amazing. Our friendship never should have happened.

He became the boyfriend of the first man I ever slept with. By rights we should have been cordial and then never spoken to each other again.

At that point in my life I was having a difficult time with many issues about me. That John was yet another replacement for me… ( I was a miserable bastard and I made others around me just as miserable.) …meant that we should have been enemies at once.

We weren’t enemies. John was the best, he was a great man. He was a Marine. He was also a much better man than I was at the time.

John taught me about duty, responsibility, loyalty, and friendship. It was through him that I ended up being “adopted” by a small group of Marines and while I was not a Marine, these guys treated me like one of their own.

I ended up being their “Go-To” guy. If they were in trouble, needed a ride, had too much to drink or in general just needed to go to ground and cool out for a while. My home was always open to the guys… as was my fridge.

John lived with me for a time. And before you start making assumptions that you shouldn’t. Yes, we were close, yes I loved him and still do. We NEVER fucked, we shared a bed occasionally… it was only for sleep.

He was like a brother. Yeah he was sexy as hell and one night we were both horny and I think we were going to help each other out.

When we kissed in a tongue down your throat way… it felt way too much like incest!  I seem to recall jerking myself off in the bedroom and he did the same in the living room.

After the infamous kiss, we decided that sex wasn’t in the cards for us but our friendship grew to depths I’d never expected or knew I could experience.

Through the years we kept in touch and whenever it was possible we saw each other.

He’s the friend that came up with the saying “A lot of guys just aren’t worth getting the kiddie pool out, mixing the J-Lube, and getting naked.”

I knew John was a kinky FUCK from the kink catalogs that kept showing up in my mail… But that description about the kiddie pool, delivered at dinner with my folks, has always stuck with me.

John had this way of saying the weirdest stuff and getting away with it. I think he could have suggested that nuns and priests in his Parish be issued vibrators with their vows. He could have made the suggestion to The Pope without being excommunicated.

The last Time I saw him was at Christmas 2006 or 2007. I told him how much I loved him then. The hug he gave me said it all.

I suspected that he might have been sick, either HIV or something else. Something seemed off, but John didn’t want to discuss it and I respected his wish.

I just didn’t know how sick or how little time we had left.

In early 2008, I heard from his Sister that he’d been in a hospital in FL.

John hadn’t told me. The hell of it was that I have family in the area and rather than him being alone in a hospital room they would have looked in on him.  My folks liked him and my Mom never failed to make sure he knew he was invited to their house for the holidays.

His Sister called me to let me know that she was moving him back to their home town and that I should probably plan to visit soon.

Then my house burned, and I was so busy dealing with that I couldn’t get away to see him one last time.

I got the word that he’d died one afternoon while I was at work. I was reeling from the fallout of the fire. The news was more than I could take at that moment I started crying in my little cubicle.

That is the first and only time I’ve cried as an adult in a public place.

I’m glad he died at home surrounded by family. I wish I could have been there to hold him and tell him again that I loved him.

In the end, his death was a mercy. In addition to the HIV infection, he’d contracted some strange kind of cancer that destroyed his spine. He was in a lot of pain and due to the pain killing drugs was pretty much out of it.

I love him and remember him as a drop dead handsome man with a heart of gold. I miss him and the world is a little less bright without John in it.

The picture above is from the funeral announcement. I missed the funeral. It was held in his home town, attended mostly by family and his high school friends. At some point when we can all afford it, his sister wants to meet in FL for a memorial service and spread his ashes as sea.

I think John would like that…

I love you buddy, Thank you for loving me back, and for all the adventures, inspiration, and lessons you shared with me.