Month: September 2023

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Ok, this month is flying by

Actually, this whole damn year has flown by and I feel like I haven’t accomplished a thing.

Since the other half died. I’ve been in a fog. It’s getting better but I’m nowhere near 100%. I’ve been nostalgic, and sad, and depressed, and now, I’m beginning to sense, if not actually see a light at the end of the tunnel. I can only hope that light is not the headlight of an oncoming train!

I have managed to consolidate all the photos from various devices into one photo library. At the moment there are 2000 duplicates but the number of original photos added was over 3000 so the exercise is worth the time.

I’ll admit looking at some of the photos is bittersweet. That’s much better than I’d have been only a few short months ago.

Here we are coming up on another anniversary of 9/11. Wow! So much has happened in the past year since the last anniversary, but when you expand focus to all that’s happened since 9/11.  it’s mind boggling.

This time last year I was planning to take a trip to FL to see my Mom. So much changes so fast. I made it to FL in time to enjoy Halloween and the silliness with the family. The other half was working or planning the High Holy Days, and preparing for an annual gig that he enjoyed playing immensely.

4 months later, he was gone. It still strikes me as weird. Something that I can’t quite wrap my head around. Logic and the rational me are fine with it but the emotional me is still working hard to come to grips with it. How can someone you’ve lived with for so long just be gone?

As I’ve looked at the imported photos there’s so much. Seeing the other half and myself in photos before 9/11 we were so very young and innocent. Our world made sense though, and we were happy. Seeing us before the house burned is strange, seeing photos of the house as it was, is weird too.

All of the photos together paint a picture of a life, happy, sad, good, & bad. Call it our “Fractured Fairytale”. The other half would love that description. He was a Bullwinkle and Rocky fan.

I woke this morning to gentle rain on the roof. I thought I’d get up to enjoy it even though I was restless all night and haven’t had nearly enough sleep. It’s one of those rare times when the rest of the human neighborhood is still asleep.

The sound of the natural world is calming for mw. Yes, even the squabbling of a couple of birds in the distance. Last night, I thought I heard an owl in the distance I don’t have enough experience with oils to know what kind it was. I know they make different sounds depending on variety. Nonetheless it was a treat since I’ve not heard owls in the area for at least a decade, I hope it stays. The hooting in the night, lets me know everything is normal.

This is a moment of peace and beauty. Once the humans wake up it will be shattered. Until then, I’m going to enjoy the natural sounds, watch the rain fall and enjoy my coffee.

I’ve found it ironic that some many people in the neighborhood beyond my little street are such “EcoWarriors” AKA “Eco Virture signalers”. Yet, for all their electric vehicles, and tut tutting about plastic bags, they’re the nosiest creatures. From the thrumming of their power tools and music to their loud talking, they create sound pollution all their waking hours.They’re also afraid of the dark because most of them leave their exterior lights on all night long. Light pollution is a real issue here.

The night is supposed to be dark.

I’m going to enjoy the quiet while I can. Happy Sunday.

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He tries so hard to be a good boy.

My dog that is,

The poor puppy was so conflicted.

My lower back is spasming and any little movement on my part generates intense pain. Standing is an ordeal, lying down in bed is almost as bad. Sitting is mostly tolerable but getting up & down is a nightmare.

Thankfully I did whatever I did to my back near the end of the day so the pup got his walk.

Sleeping last night was more of a dream than actual fact.

The dog spent most of the night on the bed. He checked on me every time I woke myself up groaning in pain. At one point he lay down beside me with his head on my shoulder. Normally, he’s not a super cuddly pup, so I know he’s aware something is wrong with daddy.

I hope he’ll understand when he doesn’t get his walk today.

Well before dawn, while I was enjoying this rare cuddly moment, the yappy annoyances otherwise known as chihuahuas at crazy pants house started in. There are 5 of them, (I think. It’s tough to count them because they all look and sound alike.) After at least a half hour of this incessant barking we hear from crazy pants herself making some weird noise in addition to the barking chihuahuas.

My dog, had mostly ignored the incessant barking, I suspect that’s because it’s incessant, and even he has come to realize these chihuahuas are running their mouths but not saying anything of interest to him.

At the height of their yapping he’d rolled over on his back and groaned. As if to say, “What the Fuck Now?” Unfortunately for him, the roll put his head at an uncomfortable angle against my arm. He was trying to get comfortable again when crazy pants started in at the top of her lungs.

That was too much.

He had to get up to go see what the noise was about. He ran to the front window trying to see whatever was going on. Then he came back to the bedroom and started working me out of bed. It’s my job to open the slider in the morning.

By this time, crazy pants had begun jabbering words, and making sounds that sounded like grunting, or a human vomiting. That she was doing all this in her yard isn’t surprising, I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if I looked over there and saw her taking a shit, or playing with herself. (At which point I’m sure I’d be the one vomiting. Crazy pants has been ridden hard and put up wet once too often. I’m sure the same is true of her privates.)

At this point my dog, try as he might couldn’t stop himself from running between the window and the backdoor. He just had to check out the disturbance and comment on it. Unlike the yappy chihuahuas his comments are more like “ruff” then a random interval where he’s listening to the commotion followed by another “ruff”.

I’m blessed that he rarely barks for no reason. If he’s barking there’s something that I should be aware of. He does howl, if there are other “real” dogs barking about something in the neighborhood.

Last night he’d asked to go out about 2am. That’s unusual and often means his tummy is upset. I was up so it wasn’t a big deal. He’d been down in the yard, taken care of business, then laid down on the rear deck so he could watch crazy pants house. If he doesn’t come right back in, it because his stomach is still unsettled.

I must have dozed off on the couch, because about 2:45 I was awakened by the most soulful, mournful, howl I’ve ever heard from him. I don’t know if he was answering coyotes in the distance, or just howling at the moon. I called his name once, and he came right in. He didn’t even give me a dirty look when I closed and locked the slider again.

Opening the slider this morning, he bolted out and down the back stairs right to the gate. Then he sat looking over at crazy pants place, and the barking chihuahuas, while commenting occasionally with a grumbling “ruff, ruff, ruff,” nothing was going on that deserved a real bark from him. He turned and came back inside the house looking almost disgusted.

I’d poured a cup of coffee for myself when crazy pants starts screaming, “It burns! Then began loudly, sobbing and howling owwww!” My thought was, “Oh my, did someone sprinkle water on her?” Alternatively, I actually hoped that she’d found something fatal in the junkyard that her back yard has become.

That’s not kind.

The dog headed back out to the upper deck for a better vantage point since the chihuahuas had increased the intensity of their barking to drown out crazy pants.

After a few more minutes of her “performance” to no audience, applause, or any other form of attention, crazy pants shut the hell up and wandered back into her house I assume.

I couldn’t see her as she was giving her performance, nor did I see her go into her house.

She’d accomplished her goal… Everyone in the neighborhood was no doubt awake.

I think I’m going to try lying or sitting on the couch with a heat pad to get the spasming in my lower back to stop. I doubt that I’ll get the laundry done, or much more in the way of sorting physical paperwork for the accountant.

But, I might still be productive today by immersing myself in the totally digital realm. I can dive into the data from the other half’s computer looking for any relevant financial information that the accountant might need.

I sincerely hope your night and pre-dawn morning was better than mine.

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I do not like this “New Normal”

I went shopping and did some errands on Tuesday.

The Auto Club was helpful and easy to work with. This was a new one for me, I’d been going to the one in Victorville and honestly hated it. I tried one near Rancho Cucamonga and had a much better experience.

I suppose that’s why we always went “down the hill” instead of to the closer towns in the area. It was just a nicer and more civilized experience.

After the Auto Club, I dropped by what used to be a great Best Buy…

This experience was not as nice. The shelves were bare, horribly disorganized, and over all the store was dark and dingy. I was completely ignored by all associates. This was particularly clear when I asked an associate to scan something so I could know what the price was… I was told, “I gotta clean up, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” as he walked off.

Let me be clear, this was not a janitor. This guy had been helping another person literally moments before, he hadn’t even logged out of his computer terminal yet. WOW! What fantastic customer service!

If I hadn’t really needed the item, I’d have bailed. Instead I finished my shopping, picked up a couple more items then went to the cash register.

I had the lady scan the questionable item before we began the transaction. I had a backup selection if the questionable item had been too expensive. It turns out the price was acceptable, so I left the backup selection at the register. They can restock it or simply throw it on some random shelf as it appears they’d done with most of the rest of their inventory.

There were employees wandering around in masks and it was a very unpleasant shopping experience. Best Buy will probably go the way of Frys. The employees are acting just like Fry’s employees acted near the end.

Then I headed over to Ralphs. I was able to find all but two items including a ton of stuff that I hadn’t been able to find at my local Stater Brothers for months.

The aisles were neat, people polite, and they had two doors to get folks into and out of the store easily without a traffic jam. Also I wasn’t being shocked every time I touched a freezer or shelving unit. I spent less at the Ralphs than I do at the Stater Brothers. That was surprising too.

As I was driving home, I was thinking that COVID panic really screwed up a lot of things. My local grocery store is much like the Best Buy. Dark, poorly organized, and with plenty of bare shelves and more than half the staff running around with masks on. It’s like they never recovered from the COVID mentality.

Then I thought about shopping in Florida. The Best Buy in Tampa is well lit, well stocked, and the employees are helpful. The Publix grocery store is like the Ralphs I was just in. I suppose Kroger owned stores in Florida would also be to the same standard although I haven’t, to my knowledge, shopped in a Kroger owned store in Florida.

Now with the Fall season upon us, we’re hearing about COVID again. “Mask Up”, “Get Jabbed”, “Be prepared for lockdowns” Why? COVID is technically endemic. It’s like the flu. Are the “Powers that Be” just trying to squeeze another year out of COVID panic, or are they really concerned? How can we know? They’ve lied so much, and been caught in their lies often enough that I, and apparently a lot of other people don’t trust them.

Is this too part of the “New Normal”? Once trusted organizations within and outside the government sphere are to be nothing more than noise, conflicting information, and lies?

I don’t like it one little bit. The “New Normal” SUCKS!!!

I suspect that nowhere does it suck worse than California and New York. Both will be stupidly compliant with whatever suggestion the government pulls out of its collective ass.

If Sniffy Joe said that we should all wrap our heads with Saran Wrap to ward off COVID while in our homes, and that it was mandatory. You can bet your ass that California and New York would fine anyone who disobeyed. No one would wrap their heads…

Well maybe there are some incredibly stupid people who would suffocate themselves with Saran Wrap, there were people who used aquarium cleaner as a cure for COVID and nearly died. Yeah, the aquarium cleaner has ivermectin in it, but the OTHER chemicals were completely ignored by these rocket scientists! Ya need to read the whole label morons! Honestly, they should have been allowed to Darwin themselves in peace. I digress…

We know the fines would go right into the stupid pile of money California and New York “BURN” everyday providing their respective citizens such lovely services as tattletale hotlines, and drone surveillance of our homes and yards.

The “New Normal” is new to us in the United States. But it’s old hat to folks from the former Soviet Union.

I suppose that’s why I don’t like the “New Normal” it feels a bit like what I imagined living under Soviet rule would have felt like.