9/11

Lasttower 2011091122 years later.

That morning, I’d just gotten up, grabbed my computer and began the ritual of looking for a job over my morning coffee. I’d flipped on CNN, back when they were an actual source of information, instead of propaganda and sat in stunned disbelief watching the replay of the planes flying into the twin towers.

I’d missed the actual event due to the time change but witnessed the aftermath and knew that our country would never be the same.

I pounded my fists bloody on the floor in front of the television. Impotent rage at something that had already happened. I was young… just over 40. I was afraid for my brother who I knew was going to be in the thick of it.

I also decided at that moment to take the first opportunity to finally go work for the Military Industrial Complex. I was too old to join the military, but by God I could help to build shit to utterly destroy our enemies. Or, as it turned out, build shit designed to add to the safety of our troops.

On 9/11/2001 I’d have turned the entire Middle East to nuclear glass, and never thought about the millions sent to Allah. It was a safe bet 9/11 was some asshole from the Middle East, My thought was nuke ‘em all and then you don’t have to worry about ‘em ever again. This was especially true when I saw images of people in the Middle East celebrating. I’d have gladly made sure they were all well and truly fucked. I’d have smiled watching those fuckers die like cockroaches in a cheap apartment.

My other half came home from school early. The classes he’d been subbing for had been dismissed and the children sent home to be with their parents. He hugged me, calming my rage and hate. Then he cleaned and bandaged my bloody fists. He pointed out that my nuke ‘em all and let Allah sort ‘em out was pretty close to genocide and that wasn’t a good solution. I admitted he was right. We sat on the couch holding each other, watching the news coverage until it became obvious that the talking heads were repeating the same thing over and over again. We turned off the TV. When we went to bed that night we held each other tightly wondering if there would be more attacks while we slept.

As I said, I knew our country would be irrevocably changed. At the time I didn’t realize that the source of changes  would come from inside our borders, from our own people,  and indeed from within the halls of Congress. 

Later, I remember being uncomfortable with The Patriot Act. I went along with it because there wasn’t a choice (my voice mattered little,) but also on the assurances that The Patriot Act was a Temporary measure. That was back in the day when I has some measure of trust in our politicians and political process.

Well, The Patriot act has been temporary for 21 years and it isn’t going away any time soon.

I never thought that fear would end up being so potent a weapon that Americans, of all people would fall in line asking the Government to protect them, or that they’d be so willing to trade rights and freedoms for the illusion of government protection.

We should have been demanding answers of our Government. We should have demanded an explanation how they had so abjectly failed to protect our borders. You know, the primary thing the government is supposed to do… Not from a place of fear, but from a place of holding the politicians fully accountable for their failure.

Yes, there were hearings and investigations. There were a few “sacrificial lambs”.  “New” more powerful bureaucracies were born. But in the end, the people that were in power, and therefore responsible for this epic failure… Remained in power. Most of the policies that had allowed 9/11 to happen in the first place are still in force today. 

The only people who experienced limitations of their freedoms and rights post 9/11, were American Citizens. Illegal surveillance, censorship, “enacted for the public good,” any of this ringing a bell?

Our borders, which should have been closed on 9/11 at the ends of gun barrels, remained open and still remain open today.

The rationale was and is, “These poor migrants are looking for a better life.” That is a true statement. But the chaos of our border policies, and lax enforcement of expired visas and our not deporting people who have committed crimes (the first of which was entering the country illegally,) and all the rest of it has led to our not knowing who is within our borders.

These are exactly the same conditions the 9/11 hijackers exploited to launch their attack in 2001.

As we listen to Mayorkas in hearings, if you listen very closely, you’ll hear that our border is no longer being over-run by only people from Mexico or failed South American countries. You’ll hear that nationals from all over the world are being apprehended at the border and many more are “got aways”

In other words, another 9/11 is possible, and I’d say probable. If I were a son of a bitch like Osama bin Laden, I’d be planning some big assed 9/11 attack on the 25th anniversary. God knows, I’d have plenty of time to move assets in place. Even if 10% of my guys were stopped trying to cross the almost non existent border, I could still put enough bad guys in place with enough time and resources to make the 25th anniversary a real “blow out”.

Every time I hear Mayorkas telling us that the border is secure I ask myself, “Is he delusional, or is he an agent of a foreign power?”

It needn’t be a disgruntled islamic nation that sets up a 25th anniversary “party” for America. It could literally be any nation on Earth with an Ax to grind, or who seeks the overthrow and demise of our country. China, Russia, Iran, Ukraine (when we can’t afford to give them money and arms). Literally any nation on the planet that would love to see America go down could put their assets in place. 

But the greater threat is, what happens if several nations or theocracies combine forces?

9/11, as terrible as it was for us in 2001 apparently taught our leaders absolutely nothing. I am not saying for us to live in fear. We have the ability to fix the problem, what we appear to lack is the will. Perhaps more concisely we cannot force congress to execute our will. That is a serious problem because Congress doesn’t seem to remember they work for the American people. We should remind them!

Yes, today should be a day of remembrance for those victims of 9/11.

We should remember the valiant action taken by the passengers of Flight 93. We should bow our heads in prayer for all those first responders who died trying to save others, and those who died later of diseases caused by exposure to toxic materials. Many of those men and women rushed in, knowing the dust was likely dangerous, they heedlessly continued to search for, and help others, without any protection.

We should also see to it that nothing like 9/11 happens again. We should see to it our government is brought to heel, with the American people once agin holding the leash. That’s how I believe we should honor the fallen, not with grandiose speeches, empty promises, and outright lies. 

We should honor them by returning to the safety, freedom, and security, our country enjoyed pre 9/11. 

Ok, this month is flying by

Actually, this whole damn year has flown by and I feel like I haven’t accomplished a thing.

Since the other half died. I’ve been in a fog. It’s getting better but I’m nowhere near 100%. I’ve been nostalgic, and sad, and depressed, and now, I’m beginning to sense, if not actually see a light at the end of the tunnel. I can only hope that light is not the headlight of an oncoming train!

I have managed to consolidate all the photos from various devices into one photo library. At the moment there are 2000 duplicates but the number of original photos added was over 3000 so the exercise is worth the time.

I’ll admit looking at some of the photos is bittersweet. That’s much better than I’d have been only a few short months ago.

Here we are coming up on another anniversary of 9/11. Wow! So much has happened in the past year since the last anniversary, but when you expand focus to all that’s happened since 9/11.  it’s mind boggling.

This time last year I was planning to take a trip to FL to see my Mom. So much changes so fast. I made it to FL in time to enjoy Halloween and the silliness with the family. The other half was working or planning the High Holy Days, and preparing for an annual gig that he enjoyed playing immensely.

4 months later, he was gone. It still strikes me as weird. Something that I can’t quite wrap my head around. Logic and the rational me are fine with it but the emotional me is still working hard to come to grips with it. How can someone you’ve lived with for so long just be gone?

As I’ve looked at the imported photos there’s so much. Seeing the other half and myself in photos before 9/11 we were so very young and innocent. Our world made sense though, and we were happy. Seeing us before the house burned is strange, seeing photos of the house as it was, is weird too.

All of the photos together paint a picture of a life, happy, sad, good, & bad. Call it our “Fractured Fairytale”. The other half would love that description. He was a Bullwinkle and Rocky fan.

I woke this morning to gentle rain on the roof. I thought I’d get up to enjoy it even though I was restless all night and haven’t had nearly enough sleep. It’s one of those rare times when the rest of the human neighborhood is still asleep.

The sound of the natural world is calming for mw. Yes, even the squabbling of a couple of birds in the distance. Last night, I thought I heard an owl in the distance I don’t have enough experience with oils to know what kind it was. I know they make different sounds depending on variety. Nonetheless it was a treat since I’ve not heard owls in the area for at least a decade, I hope it stays. The hooting in the night, lets me know everything is normal.

This is a moment of peace and beauty. Once the humans wake up it will be shattered. Until then, I’m going to enjoy the natural sounds, watch the rain fall and enjoy my coffee.

I’ve found it ironic that some many people in the neighborhood beyond my little street are such “EcoWarriors” AKA “Eco Virture signalers”. Yet, for all their electric vehicles, and tut tutting about plastic bags, they’re the nosiest creatures. From the thrumming of their power tools and music to their loud talking, they create sound pollution all their waking hours.They’re also afraid of the dark because most of them leave their exterior lights on all night long. Light pollution is a real issue here.

The night is supposed to be dark.

I’m going to enjoy the quiet while I can. Happy Sunday.

He tries so hard to be a good boy.

My dog that is,

The poor puppy was so conflicted.

My lower back is spasming and any little movement on my part generates intense pain. Standing is an ordeal, lying down in bed is almost as bad. Sitting is mostly tolerable but getting up & down is a nightmare.

Thankfully I did whatever I did to my back near the end of the day so the pup got his walk.

Sleeping last night was more of a dream than actual fact.

The dog spent most of the night on the bed. He checked on me every time I woke myself up groaning in pain. At one point he lay down beside me with his head on my shoulder. Normally, he’s not a super cuddly pup, so I know he’s aware something is wrong with daddy.

I hope he’ll understand when he doesn’t get his walk today.

Well before dawn, while I was enjoying this rare cuddly moment, the yappy annoyances otherwise known as chihuahuas at crazy pants house started in. There are 5 of them, (I think. It’s tough to count them because they all look and sound alike.) After at least a half hour of this incessant barking we hear from crazy pants herself making some weird noise in addition to the barking chihuahuas.

My dog, had mostly ignored the incessant barking, I suspect that’s because it’s incessant, and even he has come to realize these chihuahuas are running their mouths but not saying anything of interest to him.

At the height of their yapping he’d rolled over on his back and groaned. As if to say, “What the Fuck Now?” Unfortunately for him, the roll put his head at an uncomfortable angle against my arm. He was trying to get comfortable again when crazy pants started in at the top of her lungs.

That was too much.

He had to get up to go see what the noise was about. He ran to the front window trying to see whatever was going on. Then he came back to the bedroom and started working me out of bed. It’s my job to open the slider in the morning.

By this time, crazy pants had begun jabbering words, and making sounds that sounded like grunting, or a human vomiting. That she was doing all this in her yard isn’t surprising, I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if I looked over there and saw her taking a shit, or playing with herself. (At which point I’m sure I’d be the one vomiting. Crazy pants has been ridden hard and put up wet once too often. I’m sure the same is true of her privates.)

At this point my dog, try as he might couldn’t stop himself from running between the window and the backdoor. He just had to check out the disturbance and comment on it. Unlike the yappy chihuahuas his comments are more like “ruff” then a random interval where he’s listening to the commotion followed by another “ruff”.

I’m blessed that he rarely barks for no reason. If he’s barking there’s something that I should be aware of. He does howl, if there are other “real” dogs barking about something in the neighborhood.

Last night he’d asked to go out about 2am. That’s unusual and often means his tummy is upset. I was up so it wasn’t a big deal. He’d been down in the yard, taken care of business, then laid down on the rear deck so he could watch crazy pants house. If he doesn’t come right back in, it because his stomach is still unsettled.

I must have dozed off on the couch, because about 2:45 I was awakened by the most soulful, mournful, howl I’ve ever heard from him. I don’t know if he was answering coyotes in the distance, or just howling at the moon. I called his name once, and he came right in. He didn’t even give me a dirty look when I closed and locked the slider again.

Opening the slider this morning, he bolted out and down the back stairs right to the gate. Then he sat looking over at crazy pants place, and the barking chihuahuas, while commenting occasionally with a grumbling “ruff, ruff, ruff,” nothing was going on that deserved a real bark from him. He turned and came back inside the house looking almost disgusted.

I’d poured a cup of coffee for myself when crazy pants starts screaming, “It burns! Then began loudly, sobbing and howling owwww!” My thought was, “Oh my, did someone sprinkle water on her?” Alternatively, I actually hoped that she’d found something fatal in the junkyard that her back yard has become.

That’s not kind.

The dog headed back out to the upper deck for a better vantage point since the chihuahuas had increased the intensity of their barking to drown out crazy pants.

After a few more minutes of her “performance” to no audience, applause, or any other form of attention, crazy pants shut the hell up and wandered back into her house I assume.

I couldn’t see her as she was giving her performance, nor did I see her go into her house.

She’d accomplished her goal… Everyone in the neighborhood was no doubt awake.

I think I’m going to try lying or sitting on the couch with a heat pad to get the spasming in my lower back to stop. I doubt that I’ll get the laundry done, or much more in the way of sorting physical paperwork for the accountant.

But, I might still be productive today by immersing myself in the totally digital realm. I can dive into the data from the other half’s computer looking for any relevant financial information that the accountant might need.

I sincerely hope your night and pre-dawn morning was better than mine.

I do not like this “New Normal”

I went shopping and did some errands on Tuesday.

The Auto Club was helpful and easy to work with. This was a new one for me, I’d been going to the one in Victorville and honestly hated it. I tried one near Rancho Cucamonga and had a much better experience.

I suppose that’s why we always went “down the hill” instead of to the closer towns in the area. It was just a nicer and more civilized experience.

After the Auto Club, I dropped by what used to be a great Best Buy…

This experience was not as nice. The shelves were bare, horribly disorganized, and over all the store was dark and dingy. I was completely ignored by all associates. This was particularly clear when I asked an associate to scan something so I could know what the price was… I was told, “I gotta clean up, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” as he walked off.

Let me be clear, this was not a janitor. This guy had been helping another person literally moments before, he hadn’t even logged out of his computer terminal yet. WOW! What fantastic customer service!

If I hadn’t really needed the item, I’d have bailed. Instead I finished my shopping, picked up a couple more items then went to the cash register.

I had the lady scan the questionable item before we began the transaction. I had a backup selection if the questionable item had been too expensive. It turns out the price was acceptable, so I left the backup selection at the register. They can restock it or simply throw it on some random shelf as it appears they’d done with most of the rest of their inventory.

There were employees wandering around in masks and it was a very unpleasant shopping experience. Best Buy will probably go the way of Frys. The employees are acting just like Fry’s employees acted near the end.

Then I headed over to Ralphs. I was able to find all but two items including a ton of stuff that I hadn’t been able to find at my local Stater Brothers for months.

The aisles were neat, people polite, and they had two doors to get folks into and out of the store easily without a traffic jam. Also I wasn’t being shocked every time I touched a freezer or shelving unit. I spent less at the Ralphs than I do at the Stater Brothers. That was surprising too.

As I was driving home, I was thinking that COVID panic really screwed up a lot of things. My local grocery store is much like the Best Buy. Dark, poorly organized, and with plenty of bare shelves and more than half the staff running around with masks on. It’s like they never recovered from the COVID mentality.

Then I thought about shopping in Florida. The Best Buy in Tampa is well lit, well stocked, and the employees are helpful. The Publix grocery store is like the Ralphs I was just in. I suppose Kroger owned stores in Florida would also be to the same standard although I haven’t, to my knowledge, shopped in a Kroger owned store in Florida.

Now with the Fall season upon us, we’re hearing about COVID again. “Mask Up”, “Get Jabbed”, “Be prepared for lockdowns” Why? COVID is technically endemic. It’s like the flu. Are the “Powers that Be” just trying to squeeze another year out of COVID panic, or are they really concerned? How can we know? They’ve lied so much, and been caught in their lies often enough that I, and apparently a lot of other people don’t trust them.

Is this too part of the “New Normal”? Once trusted organizations within and outside the government sphere are to be nothing more than noise, conflicting information, and lies?

I don’t like it one little bit. The “New Normal” SUCKS!!!

I suspect that nowhere does it suck worse than California and New York. Both will be stupidly compliant with whatever suggestion the government pulls out of its collective ass.

If Sniffy Joe said that we should all wrap our heads with Saran Wrap to ward off COVID while in our homes, and that it was mandatory. You can bet your ass that California and New York would fine anyone who disobeyed. No one would wrap their heads…

Well maybe there are some incredibly stupid people who would suffocate themselves with Saran Wrap, there were people who used aquarium cleaner as a cure for COVID and nearly died. Yeah, the aquarium cleaner has ivermectin in it, but the OTHER chemicals were completely ignored by these rocket scientists! Ya need to read the whole label morons! Honestly, they should have been allowed to Darwin themselves in peace. I digress…

We know the fines would go right into the stupid pile of money California and New York “BURN” everyday providing their respective citizens such lovely services as tattletale hotlines, and drone surveillance of our homes and yards.

The “New Normal” is new to us in the United States. But it’s old hat to folks from the former Soviet Union.

I suppose that’s why I don’t like the “New Normal” it feels a bit like what I imagined living under Soviet rule would have felt like.

Probably the shape of things to come…

Congressional redistricting what fun!!!!

My guy used to be Olbernolte. He lives in Big Bear and knows the mountain communities well. He’s a businessman, a Pilot, and technology guy. But… It looks like he’s not my guy anymore, thanks to redistricting.

Now it’s some woman named Judy Chu out of Monterey Park. I guarantee that she couldn’t find my town with GPS. Nor would she give a damn. She’s a dazzling urbanite whose only concerns will be for the other dazzling urbanites living in the wealthy parts of Pasadena, Altadena, La Canada / Flintridge, La Crescenta – Montrose, and Sierra Madre.

No one of any value lives outside those areas. Right?

In other words, we will not exist so there will be no advocating for disaster assistance coming from Chu in the event of another winter storm like we had last year. But Chu happily votes to spend Trillions of dollars we don’t have in foreign countries because she’s an obedient puppet.

Here’s another proof of just how we’re going to be ignored.

Yea!

Just to be clear, I tried all five of the variations of my address created by the masters of technology that have given us all such wonderfully fucked up maps in rural areas. Helpful hint… your mapping efforts should start with the original county maps. It’s so much fun that my address can appear in one of three different towns depending on whose map you’re using.

Chu was also targeted by Fang Fang the Chinese Spy, shortly before Eric Swallow-well started dipping his wick in Fang Fang.

Fang Fang worked for Judy Chu for a time.

Ahhh, it’s going to be grand having zero representation!

Perhaps another clue that it’s time to get the hell out of California… Or learn Mandarin.