Month: October 2018

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Autumn

IMG 0378This is one of my favorite times of year. The light changes and while it isn’t Officially Autumn, the plants and my body know it is.

Last night it was in the high 30’s and there’s a crispness in the air.

I know why I was happier in the mountains than I’ve ever been in the city.

It easier for me to be dialed into the natural world. I can feel the dirt under my feet and the smell of the earth and plants around me. Yes, even the smell of the occasional animal poo when I’m out hiking or walking, is somehow comforting.

Down in the cities it’s all about dominating and keeping the world at bay. Even the grass is manicured to within an inch of its life and wildness in trees or (heaven forbid) weeds isn’t tolerated.

That being said if you’re lucky enough to find an open patch of ground, you’ll find trash, broken glass and God only knows what else because that too is domination of the land. Why can’t we just mark our territory or say, “We were here” by taking a leak on a rock or tree? Why do we have to absolutely trash the place?

As the weather cools on the mountain I’m becoming more convinced that it’s well past time for me to dump the job and find something else to do.

It occurred to me that the domination extends not only into the natural world, it’s in full play on a corporate level too. 

I caught between two very different worlds and a minimalist approach is only appreciated in one of those worlds.

Even the noise of traffic is an expression of domination. Sure there’s the noise of cars rolling by on the two major roads near my apartment. But there are, at regular intervals the really obnoxiously loud cars and motorcycles that are purposely modified to be loud. Call it a person screaming I AM HERE BITCHES! at 1am then they accelerate away so no-one can catch them or call the police.

Loud motors on a racetrack make sense, you want every single bit of power an engine can produce. Loud motors in a residential neighborhood is essentially just pissing on everyone you wake up. I honestly doubt the perpetrators give a thought to the fact that for 30 minutes after they’ve passed every dog in the affected area is barking too.

I come to the mountain, and mostly things are entirely different. It’s quiet I know my neighbors, crazy as some of them are, there’s a sense of community.

It’s this realization that’s leading me more to the conclusion that I can’t stay in San Diego.

In fact It’s making me consider abandoning the more densely populated states altogether.

I’ve thought for years that I didn’t like people. I think it’s more likely I like people just fine. I don’t like crowds of people and prefer to be with like-minded individuals. Folks that appreciate nature and the world around them realizing that nature can’t be dominated.

For now, I’m going to enjoy the autumn light and the chill of the day.

Hope you have a nice day as well.

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I hate office politics

Office PoliticsI always have… Well not always, there was a time when I was square in the middle of it. 

I grew up, and decided that I liked just going to work, doing my job, then coming home.

Unfortunately the company I work for is not so enlightened.

Virtually every single Supervisor is about screwing over every one else in their climb to the top of the so called food chain. The backstabbing and sheer viciousness of the politics amazes even me.

For those of you that know me well, that’s saying something.

Earlier this week we lost a person that was hard working and efficient. This loss was due in equal parts to the incompetence of supervisor, the vindictiveness of a manager, and pride of a director.

Office politics masterThere may have been a smidgeon of blame to spread on the person that was fired, only because this person was dedicated and wanted only to do the best job they knew how to do. Regrettably, that often meant telling superiors that their understanding of a particular issue was limited, then explaining why some things had grown organically the way they had.

This was not resistance to change, it was pointing out that making a decision without all the facts could lead to a bad end. In this case, the Government slapping fines on the company for noncompliance with certain regulations.

Arrogance, Pride, and overreaction meant that this innocent, hard working person was fired.

I know that my current circumstances are not unique. This kind of bullshit plays out all day every day across corporate America.

From the directorate level to the supervisory level, middle managers play out Machiavellian games with employees who just want to do their jobs and go home – often serving as unwitting pawns and paying the price of losses with their jobs.

This shit hasn’t changed in 1000 years. At one time it was Kings and their Courts sending peasants out to fight for a cause they were little aware of, and had less care about.

Office politics 1The Kings generally speaking are gone. Their legacy continues in corporations and it’s magnified 1000 fold.

Environments like these are full of intrigue, subterfuge, and secrets.

When the intrigue and machinations are at a fever pitch and everyone is suspicious of everyone else…

Well that’s when things are ripe for conquest.

The “wrong” information in the “right” ear at the right time can cause a cascade of destruction. 

That’s where I find myself now.

I’m sitting in a powder keg and I’ve got a book of matches.

I’ve fought my nature for 30 years. I’ve actively sought peace and avoided office politics, usually to my detriment.

I’ve spent the past two years watching this mess develop and suddenly find myself in the unique position of having enough money in the bank to weather a storm.  And I’ve got matches… (metaphorically speaking)

Another week or two and I think the time will come when I start lighting shit up.

The funniest part of this is that I’m not going to be doing it for gain. No promotion, no raise, nothing at all, except the pure joy of watching a bunch of animals devour each other and destroy all they’ve built.

“Winter is coming.”

This is probably going to be a lot of fun…

Yes my friends, I’m listening to my darker angels.