Month: October 2018

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The Job search continues…

I’m at a tipping point now.

Our team has returned to answering the phones full time. Oh Joy!

Our team was set up to fail from the beginning.

We warned the supervisor, and she chose not to listen. She actively deluded herself into believing that everyone was her friend.

Now she’s terrified that she’s going to lose her job.

That little tidbit is something I’m going to get a lot of milage out of. I have been and will continue to use that the give her a taste of what her inaction has done to all of us.

She refused to stand for anything and has demonstrated graphically, Those who don’t stand for something, stand for nothing, She didn’t stand up for us or her team, instead she was off in her own little world. We, her team, did all the heavy lifting and we got raped for it.

Now we’re being used and abused by anyone and everyone.

She’s weak, and once it became obvious that she had no clue about any aspect of what we did, questions were asked. Shortly thereafter there was blood in the water and her friends started taking bites out of her.

It sounds like I’m describing sharks…

Comparing the management at my company to sharks is an insult to sharks.

Perhaps Jackals is a better comparison.

Now, I’m enjoying playing Loki. The right word in the wrong ear, and chaos rains down. I’m enjoying watching these jackals trying to figure out who they should attack. What’s happening is that they can’t identify their enemies and are unsure of past alliances.

The supervisors are dividing and isolating themselves. They’re having a taste of what they’ve done to their employees over the past few years.

The two brightest of my colleagues figured out what I’ve been doing and they’re as amused as I am. Where there was one – now there are three… They’ve joined in.

At the same time all of us have stepped up our job searches. We sniffed something in the air and it’s since been revealed the upper management is doing two things that are not unexpected, but are tell-tails of where this is all heading.

They’re moving the mahogany row offices to towers in the sky, only a short 15 minute ride away. It also appears that a new office that replicates all our functions is being established in another country.

This means an already checked out and clueless management will move further away from the wage slaves they’re supposed to be “connected” with and they will become more removed from the actual work being done.

“What was it that management said about not closing our facility? Did former President Obama ‘if you like your health care you can keep your health care’ join the board of directors?”

Well Mr. President, I liked my healthcare and lost it in the first wave of changes.  Due to the confusion created by the sweeping healthcare changes, I also paid for more than a year of healthcare insurance for which I received no benefits and subsequently filed 

and WON

a suit against the insurance provider. Truly a case of winning the battle and losing the war. So as the costs mounted, was it any surprise that insurance companies started bailing on ACA?

I digress.

I’m listening a lot more to the talk of my coworkers.

The bottom line is that none of them are happy or care about doing things the right way anymore. It’s not that there is a right or a wrong way to do things (There is) but in what we do there are shades of gray. Most everyone is not even worrying about situations where they’ve missed the mark entirely. After all the client will call back and bitch about it later anyway, to someone else.

Burnout is evident everywhere. I think of it as repetitive stress in your brain.

We deal with people on medicare. They’re the worst. Don’t get me wrong it’s not about agism, after all I’m almost there too. It’s about so very many of them being technologically ignorant. They’re not dumb or stupid, they’re just fighting through a system that is stacked against them. Icons that don’t convey the entire message, equipment that is difficult to read for aged eyes, and instructions that are unclear.

By the time these people call in, they’re pretty frustrated and pissed off. There are a number of them that completely miss the point of the devices we support and do things that make no sense.

These people take time to address and sort out. Often you can’t answer the question from a technological standpoint, you’ve got to make the information relatable to the person. This  takes more time.

These days, it’s time we don’t have. We’re constantly asked why a particular call is taking so long. This of course makes us try to hurry the process along and often results in miscommunication. Which leads to additional calls from the same person because now they’re expecting the equipment to behave in a particular way and it’s not.

The medicare person’s frustration is compounded by fear, confusion, and long telephone hold times. Lots of my younger coworkers will say just about anything to get a medicare person off the phone, it not that they truly don’t care, it’s that we’re in a toxic environment and the priority is to get to the next call.

This has devolved into a strictly numbers situation. The employee is only as valuable as the number of calls they answer, not whether the client hung up the phone knowing what they needed to know and how to actually use the equipment.

So in addition to the frustration of working in a truly shitty environment, we’re all dealing with the truly shitty job of finding another place of employment.

President Trump talks about fake news, he’d totally lose his shit if he had to deal with fake job leads.

While it sounds racist, I’ve gotten to the point that if I get an email from someone who is obviously Indian (Dot, not feather) the email goes straight to the SPAM folder. 90% of the time these are emails completely unrelated to qualifications spelled out in my resume.

I really love the emails that start by telling me the sender has spent hours choosing me for a position that is nothing like what my resume says. Those assholes are immediately deleted. My next favorite email type, are the ones where the city, state, or job title is completely misspelled and also on the other side of the country. Uh yeah… you did a lot of research to make sure that you presented a professional appearance.

I’m changing the job search paradigm. Blindly sending resumes to positions posted on job search sites isn’t working. I’m looking for companies that are interesting and checking their “careers” sections. I’m applying directly rather than on sites like Dice, Monster, LinkedIn, and the rest.

Thus far the results aren’t any better in terms of interviews, but at least I’m cutting out the middle men.

I’m also trying to build connections with other people. That’s a lot harder than it sounds. Where do you go to meet people these days? Social media is right out! No one on social media is what they claim to be.  Besides, I hate social media!

Anyhow, if I’m not writing very much or only posting sporadically it’s nothing personal. I’m just preoccupied with more immediate issues.

Hope that as we head into the holiday season you’re all doing great.

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We’re All Looking for something…

Lately I’ve been dealing with isolation.

Due to my work schedule, I’ve been cut off from non-work interactions for about 3 years. In truth it’s probably been longer than that due to commuting long distances to previous workplaces.

This has led to a sense of profound loneliness and disconnection from the world. Most people are troublesome to begin with because they’re wrapped up in their own issues. I know first hand how tough it is to look beyond your own stuff and think of a bigger picture.

Inside my workplace, there seems to be a calculated effort to make sure that no personal connections are made. So at work, I tend to feel alone in a crowded noisy room.

Being as old as I am, I don’t recall that it was always this way. I have memories of knowing my neighbors, even if I wasn’t talking with them every day. I recall clearly knowing that culturally speaking it was ok to go “borrow a cup of sugar” and have a nice conversation with the neighbor next door. I clearly remember just walking up the block to help a neighbor with a project. You knew that you’d be fed for your effort and you’d have company, good conversation and the sense of accomplishment that goes with finishing something.

As time went on, people became more mobile and honestly it was easier to isolate yourself from the community around you because that saved you the heartache of goodbye.

Technological advancements have made it easier to be isolated from the community you actually live in, while at the same time giving you the illusion that you’re part of a community online. The thing is, most of your online “Friends” have no skin in the game. If you’re having a rough time in your life, it’s unlikely that someone you “know” from a thousand miles away is going to show up at your door with a plate of cookies and warm conversation.

So in the midst of my rumination, and trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. The book Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging by Sebastian Junger was recommended.

It’s a quick read and is not a self help book.

It is however an interesting exploration of the differences between modern culture and our tribal beginnings. It also brings to light that rejection of “modern” culture is not a new phenomena.

After reading the book, then coupling many if not all of the concepts with my own life experience, I’ve concluded that I’m probably not as alone as I think I am. It’s also likely that I’ve been able to put my finger on what changed in my life and why I feel so disconnected.

I’m not part of any particular group, more specifically I’m not part of any special group.

Politically speaking I’m mostly an independent. I’m liberal and conservative, and refuse to drink the kool-aid of any specific political party. I choose, instead to look at issues and evaluate each one. Based on it’s merit, I may be “Pro” or “Con” regardless of the prevailing political party’s opinion.

I don’t have any particular “Cause“.

Many of the Causes today seem more fleeting than toilet paper in a stomach flu ward.

I’m for smaller government, but at the same time don’t believe that we should leave people in this country in the lurch. If anything I’m becoming anti-foreign aid. That is especially true in light of my belief that we should not provide financial aid to our enemies, That leads us down a rabbit hole of defining who exactly are our enemies.

I’m generally speaking, for a lot less government involvement in the personal lives of citizens. Because of this, my alignment with political parties would be uncomfortable at best. As a result I generally keep my political opinions to myself.

I believe Black lives matter, JUST like all lives matter. But when I look at the way in which that movement makes it’s statements I can’t help but think there’s something else going on.

I’d have a lot more respect for Black Lives Matter if the organization wasn’t bullying people in the streets and was instead teaching folks in the inner cities that violence against each other was a problem. I mean the statistics tend to indicate while there are some bad police engaging in racially fueled brutality, the incidents of Black youth shooting, maiming, and killing each other is far more prevalent than issues with police.

If BLM was addressing those issues and seeking to find peace in troubled communities I’d be far more likely to listen when they start pointing out problems with police brutality.

That doesn’t mean, were I to witness a racially motivated issue with an Officer, that I wouldn’t intervene. There are certainly officers who should not be officers and it is the responsibility of the citizenry to question and police, the police.

Antifa is another group who is completely beyond my understanding. The reason is simple. They traditionally behave in a far more Fascist manner than the people they’re railing against.

There was a time when the Gay community was also united in the same way. Gays were hated because of their “perversion”, then they were united by HIV because as a “Throw-away” subculture no-one was looking for treatment or a cure. ACT-UP coalesced to fight common enemies (HIV and Government sanctioned disposability) and were pretty successful at it.

Marriage equality was another fight that  united the Gay community. But those “Wars” have devolved into occasional skirmishes. Research is ongoing, Marriage is legal, the skirmishes mostly seem to mostly be about wedding cakes now.

If someone won’t bake a cake for you… Find another baker who will. It’s a simple fucking equation.

I mention these groups as examples of groups who have found solidarity within themselves because they are united against something they see as oppressive and overwhelming.

Individuals, by their association with specific groups have the feeling of being the underdog in a righteous fight. In that, they are united by a sense of purpose, commonality, and community.

I think about things… I’ve never been one to just go along with the crowd. Oh sure, to parties, of course. But I’m always among the first to leave if a party starts going south.

My particular problem seems to be that I’m an outlier.

Whether by nature, choice, or life experiences, I’m always on the outside looking in.  When I connect with someone I go all in. I’m curious about them, who they are, and where they’re coming from.  That intensity, (alright intrusiveness) can be unsettling for people, especially when they’ve up to that point, thought of me as reserved and circumspect. I can see their point. They wonder who the real me is.

I think I’ve been trying to answer that particular question all my life.

Am I the good guy? The bad guy? Hero? Martyr? Criminal? Immoral? Amoral? Average? Or below average? Am I all of these, trying to fuse into one individual?

Now, at this point in my life I’ve begun wondering if it’s even a question I should even concern myself with.

Perhaps the best choice is to just let myself run without constraint or worry. Maybe that’s what being comfortable in my own skin is really all about.

 

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So the good and the bad…

Met someone different today. Had coffee and nice conversation.

Had my hair cut (The lady did a good job) I actually got what I wanted. Surprising! I do wish I could just cut it myself but while I have clippers that would do the job I don’t have the guts to try it myself.

It’s my weekend…

The Bad

Was ravenously hungry and decided I wanted Chinese. There was a Pick Up Stix across the parking lot so I went in.

I had to deal with a profoundly vapid counter girl who somehow decided that my chicken needed to be salmon. This after I told her all I wanted was a kids size portion which just totally blew her mind. So instead of my kids size meal she decided she needed to sell me two meals. Ahem… I only wanted a small portion. Rather than confusing this person further, I ordered a “normal” a.k.a. Wasteful fat bastard meal.

Still ravenous I have my plate delivered to the table whereupon the delivery girl tells me I wasn’t charged for my kid sized drink. Uhh OK. How about you just give me the 8 ounces of coke and leave me the hell alone???? She relented when she realized I was considering slaughtering and eating HER! “Uh never mind,” she says.

Sometimes the profound stupidity of people makes me glad that I will pass from this Earth and won’t have to be bothered anymore. That being said, with my luck I’ll end up in hell and be in charge of keeping the morons from burning the place down. (Yeah, I just said that… Think about it for a minute.)

Anyhow, I start wolfing down my curry chicken and brown rice like I haven’t eater in days… Come to think of it I haven’t been eating all that much so I guess I was catching up. About two bites from finishing up the “chicken”, a piece of of the meat turned just so, and I realized that it was salmon. UH OH!

Salmon does to me what gluten does to others, times about 100. I like the taste and the texture… BUT my gut hates salmon and when I eat it… ME as well.

It’s going to be a very long night! Thank your lucky stars, You’re not within 100 miles of my apartment right now. On the plus side I could have a colonoscopy tomorrow without bothering to drink that foul concoction doctors love to prescribe.

Sitting in traffic for over an hour was uh, interesting to say the least.

I get to the apartment (In time, thankfully) and when I’m done in the bathroom I grab my computer only to find that it’s dead as Kurt Cobain (Too soon?)

For some completely unknown reason my computer apparently didn’t go to sleep when I put it away last, and has completely discharged the battery. Sigh… I take advantage of the situation by just placing it on charge without powering it up. That’s the way the Macs like to condition their batteries but my laptop won’t be available until morning.

iPad to the rescue…

I pour myself a tall whiskey, put my feet up and wait for the remainder of the purge to come.

On the way home to distract myself from the growing discomfort in my gut. I was thinking about the various dating apps, and the messages I received today. Obvious “Bots” and one person just cruising for pictures to amuse himself with…. I need real interactions not cyber shielded interactions. I need to see the person and be seen.

So tonight will be a late one. I hope your night goes better.