Month: September 2011

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Ahhh The first creative day I’ve had in weeks

Finally getting back to writing. Guess I’m feeling a little nasty minded.

After a many many week hiatus I’m working on the book again.
At the same time, I’ve got a bunch of other ideas that I’m just writing the snippets of and storing away.  
The story that I’m working on actually has a couple of possible threads that could be followed up. I’m hoping to finish the first book, see how that goes then decide if the follow ups are worth it.
So I’m feeling pretty good and for the first time in at least a month or so I’ve been so focused on writing that time stopped for me. 
The last time I looked at the clock it was noon, now it’s 3 and I’m pleased.
I suppose a lot of it has to do with my letting go of the crap surrounding the company and all that chaos. I do still need to finish writing my thoughts for the attorney to evaluate just in case I’ve been told something incorrect that impacts me later on.
For the mean time, I’m relaxed and writing again and I fee very good about that.
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Notably absent from the media…

I have noted that the gay men and women that lost their lives, or were first responders on 9/11 have been glaringly under-represented in the national media. In many cases their names haven’t even been mentioned.

This article is a good reminder that Gay folks are / have / will be at every event in human history. Regardless of what the religious zealots would have you believe.

Here is a page that lists those men & women. Some were heros, some were victims, ALL were loved.

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I imagine a lot of people are blogging about 9/11

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

10 years ago today I flipped on the TV for some background noise as I prepared to begin a job search, as CNNs image resolved I, like many Americans couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My mind simply refused to accept what my eyes were telling me.

Suddenly I was on my knees, peering into the glowing phosphors hoping it was a terrible accident but knowing in my heart it was an attack… and that our lives were irrevocably changed.

Over the years my thoughts and opinions have changed. However there are a few things that remain constant.

I’m very conflicted, and I’m still just as angry today as I was then.

My Duty as an American is that I must protect the rights of everyone even those that I absolutely disagree with, although today I’ve narrowed that view to Americans. Naturalized or born here, it doesn’t matter. Anyone that has chosen to be an American is automatically part of that duty. Anyone else… well frankly their rights are only those protected under international law.

I’m conflicted because there are many people who are Americans and who obviously hate this country, their  loyalties in fact lie solely with their countries of origin. How does my duty apply in those situations?

Duty… once so clear, is now confused and muddled.

Rules once so easy to follow and understand are now intermittently visible at best.

Our lives changed, there is no doubt about that.

It’s not just the TSA, or the Patriot act… everything is subtly influenced.

Americans as a group are much more suspicious of everyone. I’m never in public anymore where I’m not paying attention to crowds & the people around me. There are friends that would say I’m being paranoid. I disagree.

There are places in the world where bombings in public markets are commonplace. It hasn’t happened in this country but it could and I personally believe it will.

What was once unthinkable here in the United States is now within the realm of possibility.

We as a people had our innocence taken from us, It can never be regained.

I can’t forgive the countries or the people that harbor these terrorist animals, any more than I can forgive the terrorists themselves.

As I’ve watched the ceremony in New York I’ve been feeling the same things I felt 10 years ago. Rage, sadness, and … fear.

My brother lived in NY and was involved in law enforcement. For many hours I couldn’t reach him , or his wife. I have never been more grateful for any message than I was for the simple text message “We are OK”.

There are so many who received a very different message. My heart goes out to them… there is nothing that can be said to assuage their pain and loss.

Even though a decade has passed somehow the wound is as fresh today as it was then. This begs the question…

How do we move forward?