Day: June 7, 2011

Perception is funny.

I don’t think of myself as anything other than just a guy.

Imagine my surprise when I was referred to as “That Hot Daddy” over there…

WTF? I’m no Daddy, I’m just a guy… Then I realized that perhaps Daddy is much like Bear. It’s an attitude as much as what you’re wearing or whether you have a dungeon.

I however never expected to be sexualized as a “Daddy” in a bar. Not that I mind, per se. I’m just a bit surprised.

I asked a friend about it. “Am I a Daddy?”

He reply was “Oh yeah…”

When I pressed for him to elaborate, he said, “You’re confident, you walk in places like you OWN them and you know your place in the world. You are obviously all about control. Couple that with your penchant for good leather boots and your complete LACK of costume in a bar where full Leather IS the uniform, and you come across as very strong and in charge. It’s appealing to a lot of folks. Since I know you are familiar with certain Kinky aspects of sex I think of you as a total Daddy.”

I’m stunned. My friend grins, “You didn’t know?” then busts up laughing.

Nope I didn’t know. More to the point, I was Clueless.

But I started thinking about my “Style” for want of a better term.

I do own a couple leather jackets, for warmth in the winter. I do not own any leather pants, shirts, vests, or caps.

I suppose I’m more about practicality than costume.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d enjoy owning some of these things, I simply refuse to pay top dollar for products that I think are of questionable quality. And lets face it a lot of this stuff is mass produced in India or China.

I would probably be more likely to make these purchases if I could find someone to custom fit me. I know that there are people around who do that sort of thing… but it’s not a high priority for me.

Buying this stuff isn’t high on my list of important things because I’ve always felt that stuff I own should be natural to who I am.

I will sometimes run across an item that “Feels right” when I do, I buy it. The “Rightness” is very important to me. That’s why I had one of my favorite leather Jackets cleaned and restored after the fire. The Jacket still has a little smoky smell, Thanks to a Doc Baileys treatment before the fire and good professional cleaners after, my jacket has real “Character” now. I never want to feel like I’m putting on a costume. I always want be comfortable and authentic in what I’m wearing and how I present who I am.

Being outfitted head to toe in leather attire isn’t going to change who I am.  Dressing the part isn’t going to make me any better in bed. Sure it may add to the fantasy. In point of fact unless I’m engaged in a scene where leather is a primary actor we’re going to be skin to skin anyway.

At that point the leather you’re concerned about will be the leather implements I’m going to use to take you to your personal edge. After all, isn’t that what you’re interested in anyway?

So I guess I’m a Daddy, I wish I’d noticed this transition. But apparently, part of my Daddyness is the fact that I’m unaware of it.

People need to  bring me up to speed more often…