Sharing with my Brother

I sent my brother the link to this blog. For better or worse, now he’ll have the opportunity to read some of my thoughts and get to know me in a very different way.

Ive been considering just how comfortable I felt about my family seeing me as I sort out my thoughts and express myself.

My hesitation was in sharing some elements of myself. Then I realized that I’m sharing myself via this blog with potentially the whole fucking world so what’s the difference?

Well… the difference is that via the blog, I have a measure of anonymity.

My brother knows me, he’s eaten at my house, I’ve spent time at his place (not nearly enough). He is potentially going to be able to read details of my most intimate behaviors.

That’s where it gets personal and scary, I was worried about one of the most important people in my life thinking less of me.

In all fairness to him, he’s fucking cool. I don’t think he’s  going to have a problem seeing me as I am.

But Hell! We were raised in different households, we’ve never even changed clothes in the same room together. I know more details of the bodies of guys at the gym than I do my own brother.

As we grew to adulthood we spent very little time together, and as men even less. We’re like intimate strangers, we know a lot about our family, we have connections.  Yet  there’s a distance, I love him dearly but sometimes don’t think we KNOW each other.

So I’m going to be myself regardless of my brother reading this. I’m going to talk about the stuff that goes through my head and not worry about it. My Brother deserves to know anything and everything about me.

I think my biggest fear is summed up in this question.

If we weren’t family, would we like each other and still be friends?

I’d like to think the answer is yes.