Gas / Airline Conspiracy???

Looks like this Memorial Day weekend more people are flying to their destinations than driving.
I’ve been watching the gasoline prices as they’ve gone from high to INSANE!

In the back of my mind I’ve been wondering if there isn’t some kind of conspiracy between the Airline industry and the Oil companies.

I know it’s completely untrue (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

Given the reaction that people rightfully had to the TSA grope fests, and mandatory reproductive damage from backscatter X-ray machines. Air travel has become the travel method of last resort for many folks, including me.

I figured that I’d just drive on vacation and enjoy the scenery. Then the gas prices went through the roof.

The high gas prices suddenly made air travel a bargain again.

Coincidence? I think not!

Air Travel Tips

If you’re flying, don’t forget to tell the TSA “Dude… a little to the left.” Then groan like you’re cumming, they totally love knowing they’re doing their jobs correctly.

While you’re standing in the security line if you’re a dude, start thinking about some really hot scene. Time it so that when you reach the hand check or even the scanner you’re hard. TSA agents need to know they’re loved too.

Even if it’s 90 degrees, make sure that you’re wearing your “Matrix” full length leather coat, and mutter about Allah the whole time you’re waiting in line. You’ll get some special treatment.

Whatever you do, DON’T take out all those stainless steel body piercings. The 00 Prince Albert will give that TSA dude such a thrill. And they need to know that the metal detector works!

Make sure that you have your stainless steel dildo in your carry on, those x-ray people get soooo bored.

Whatever you do, don’t use my travel tips…. I’m joking here!

I Hope you all have a great Memorial Day.

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