A Friend referred me to this Dan Savage Column. It’s a challenge to the leader of British Columbia’s Conservative Party
You can read the entire article here Savage Love Here’s the part we’re talking about;
THE CHOICER CHALLENGE: Last week, the leader of British Columbia’s Conservative Party, John Cummins, told a radio interviewer that gay people shouldn’t be covered by the BC Human Rights Act because being gay is “a conscious choice.”
Like truthers (9/11 was an inside job!), birthers (Barack Obama was born in Kenya!), and deathers (Osama bin Laden is alive and well and living in West Hollywood!), choicers would appear to be just another group of deranged conspiracy theorists who can’t be dissuaded by science or evidence or facts. And John Cummins isn’t the only choicer out there. We have lots of choicers right here in the United States (Tony Perkins, Rick Santorum, Stephen Colbert, et al.).
But what if the choicers are right? What if being gay is something people consciously choose? Gee, if only there were a way for choicers to prove that they’re right and everyone else is wrong… actually, there is a way for choicers to prove that they’re right!
I hereby publicly invite—I publicly challenge—John Cummins to prove that being gay is a choice by choosing it himself.
Suck my dick, John.
I’m completely serious about this, John. You’re not my type—you’re about as far from my type as a human being without a vagina gets—but I have just as much interest as you do in seeing this gay-is-a-choice argument resolved once and for all. You name the time and the place, John, and I’ll show up with my dick and a camera crew. Then you can show the world how it’s done. You can demonstrate how this “conscious choice” is made. You can flip the switch, John, make the choice, then sink to your bony old knees and suck my dick. And after you’ve swallowed my load, John, we’ll upload the video to the Internet, and you’ll be a hero to other choicers everywhere.
It’s time to put your mouth where your mouth is, John. If being gay is a choice, choose it. Show us how it’s done.
Suck my dick.
NOT a Choice
Being Gay is no more a choice than being Straight. Never has been, never will be.
Here’s something to think about. During the dark days of DADT, I was interviewed by an NIS representative about whether a Marine who had come out to his commanding officer was really gay. What follows is my best recollection of the interview.
NIS: So John says he’s gay.
ME: Yep he’s gay
NIS: Well I have to ask. Sometimes Military folks decide that they just don’t want to finish out their hitch.
ME: I understand.
NIS: How do you know that John is gay?
ME: He told me, He’s been involved with other men that I know.
NIS: Are you gay?
ME: Yes
NIS: How do I know that?
(with an annoying macho bravado)ME: Because I’m willing to prove it to you WITH you right here, right now on this conference table.
NIS: Uhhhh… Umm… no thanks…
ME: Well then how will you know for sure?
NIS: I’ll uhhhh take your word for it.
ME: As you wish… your loss.
NIS: ummmm
(increasingly long uncomfortable silence)ME: Look if you’d like to actually have a conversation, I’m willing to talk with you honestly and without the bullshit.
NIS: Uh yeah I didn’t mean to get off on the wrong foot
ME: It’s cool what do you need from me regarding John?
NIS: Just your statement and I need to write a report with confirmation that you’re gay and corroborate that John is too. Did you two sleep together? Are you uhhh lovers?
ME: Nope we’re not lovers, never have been… not that I would mind but we discussed it once and decided it would be a lot like incest and that would just be nasty.
NIS: (Laughs) Really?
ME: Yep, we’re too good as friends and sleeping with some of the same men and then each other would be too weird.
NIS: How did you know you’re gay? I mean when you first figured it out?
ME: You’re married right? I noticed the ring.
NIS: Yeah, have a son and another kid on the way.
ME: Good for you. In answer to your question, I wasn’t aways gay. I was a serious horn dog for women and If it was female and willing I’d jump it.
NIS: What changed?
ME: Let me ask you something. You know how sometimes you make it with your wife out of habit because it’s been a while, or she wants to, but you’re really not into it? Yeah you perform, you get it up and you get off, but it’s not the mind blowing gut wrenching shuddering pleasure that sex is when you’re really into it?
NIS: Uhhhh… (uncomfortably) Yeah.
ME: OK, now if that was the way you felt EVERY time you fucked a woman, and if Jacking off felt better emotionally than actually being with a woman wouldn’t you look for something better?
NIS: Uh yeah I guess I would.
ME: Ok so then you find yourself in bed with a dude and for the first time in your life it’s not just your body thats having fun, emotionally you feel fucking great! Your heart, body and mind are humming and fulfilled. Suddenly you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the way sex is supposed to be.
NIS: Yeah but it could be a one off. Just the newness of the situation.
ME: True and an excellent point. But In my case I spent time moving between the two sexes. What I found was that every woman… Well the sex was fun but didn’t touch my heart. With every single man… I was left with that humming sense of fulfillment. So the answer becomes pretty self evident. It’s really not a choice per-se it’s simply a fact.
NIS: I never thought about it like that.
ME: I think if more people thought about it without thinking about the actual sexual mechanics they’d be a lot less freaked out about gay versus straight.
NIS: Probably, but the actual sex is ummm… well un-natural.
ME: OK, Lets go down the list, I Love having my cock sucked, I like having someone stroke my cock, I love putting my cock in a nice hot tight hole. Can you say you don’t like the same things? Or that you’ve never done anal with your wife or an old girlfriend?
NIS: Well No, I like all the same things but neither my wife or I cared for anal when we tried it.
ME: Not every one likes anal sex, and there’s a ton of other things that you can do that don’t revolve around anal sex so again, we’re not that far apart. I don’t know ANY MAN that doesn’t like to get his rocks off.
NIS: You’ve given me some things to think about… I’m not going to be switching teams but I’m looking at it a little differently.
ME: That’s all I can ask for. I should tell you that If I see you in any of the bars, I will make sure that the military personnel are out the door before you get a chance to arrest them. It’s nothing personal, but we take care of our own.
NIS: (laughs) I get it. I wont take it personally.
As it turns out I’m a little less gay and a little more straight than I thought I was at that time. Human sexuality seems to be a lot less binary and a lot more shades of gray than I thought was possible back then. Honestly, thank goodness! I’d have been bored with only one flavor!
The point I’m making here is that if we can engage folks in conversation and thought rather than anger, rhetoric and dogma we’ might get our point across better.
On the other hand Dan Savage is right too. Sometimes, some people just really need to …
SUCK MY DICK!