Oh Yeah… Gotta make sure ya get that pound of flesh!

First, I guess I took a little more than a short technology break. I don’t know how frequently I’m going to be posting but I’ll see what I can do to be a bit more regular about it.


Abusers

I’m posting about this growing trend to make sure that someone is absolutely bashed, kicked, shows appropriate contrition, and then is bashed and kicked some more.

Here’s an example.

Been working at a company 6 months, been transferring calls to the appropriate extension for all that time. Phones and extensions are changing all the time and so it was without much surprise that I get a new phone list.

Dead center of the page, there’s a RED label that says “Warm Transfer” followed by an extension. It’s an unfamiliar extension and so at a glance you’d think that the red lettering was calling your attention to a new extension.

WRONG!!!!

Beaten

Turns out someone thought that coloring only the words “Warm Transfer” was a good idea to highlight a supervisory extension on an otherwise data heavy, very busy page.

So in a chaotic, very busy environment, where you’re graded on how many calls you take in a day, and how often your associated paperwork has mistakes and people on the phones complaining about everything from their lot in life to other products, and the product that you actually are there to answer questions about, you make a mistake. In a normal workplace, making a mistake would be, meh and the employees wouldn’t live in fear. Unfortunately that’s not the case where I work.

Torturers

Someone on a call, needed to talk to a person in the department associated with the “Warm Transfer” number. So you dutifully set about to transfer them, and you dial the most prominent number on the phone list.

OOOPPPPSSSS!

An unhappy supervisor answers and asks how they can help. You explain what’s up and they respond by telling you “This is a supervisor line.” You apologize, then they ask how you got this number you explain it’s on a paper in front of you next to text that says warm transfer and tell the supervisor that you’ll let everyone around you know that the number in question is associated with a supervisor so they shouldn’t use it unless they need a supervisor.

The Sup tells you ok, and transfers you to the right extension. You take care of business, then move on to the next grumpy, annoyed, irate person.

Then your corporate instant messaging lights up asking all kinds of questions and demanding to know why you’re not paying attention to their instant messages, when you’re actually doing your job and talking to a customer.

You finish the call and respond to an interrogation via instant messaging. Then you’d think it was over.

IT’S NOT!

Screamingsupervisors

The last and final indignity is that now YOUR supervisor comes over to make sure that you are appropriately contrite, know what your mistake was, and that it was solely your fault that you interrupted a supervisor.

FOR GOD’S SAKE! REALLY?

It was a simple and easily corrected mistake. On top of that the mistake had been corrected & noted immediately after the first supervisor had said it was the wrong extension.

But in this day & age there is no such thing as an innocent mistake. 

Waiting for your mistake

So for me at least, every day is a grueling eight hour stress test.  Make no mistakes, answer every call, don’t spend too much time documenting, move on to the next call, don’t say what should be said or what needs to be said, and live in fear or terror of being chastised, yelled at, or honestly… bullied all day long.

I come home each day more exhausted than when I was working lifting and toting 50 LB bags of fertilizer, or crawling around in 100° F attics running ductwork.

I’ll tell you this, those honest jobs were a hell of a lot more personally satisfying. 

Workplace Bullying institute

Ahh well, this too shall pass.

And that’s why I’m looking for a new job and why I’ve been offline for the most part for the past few months.

We as a society need to remember that minor mistakes and problems, not only shouldn’t but needn’t be blown out of proportion. 

A simple comment, a word, or small mistake is not cause for the weight of JUSTICE to be brought to bear on the individual who misspoke or did something slightly wrong.

Most of the time, folks will correct their behavior on their own with a simple, “Hey, X, Y, or Z isn’t right.”

I’m so German!

There must be order!

So the new job is rocking along.  But after spending 6 weeks learning the rules and how things are supposed to be done.

I’ve been spending weeks learning how things are really done. The latter is basically a series of exceptions to the rules and those exceptions have exceptions depending on who you talk to and the phase of the moon.

There is always a certain amount of fiddle factor in any job, but here its like everything is fiddle factor and nothing is actually a real rule. Except when it is.

The problem for me is that I tend to gravitate toward the baseline rules and then deviate from the baseline when logic says it’s the rational thing to do because “in this particular situation, the rules weren’t built to accommodate the exception.” SO based on common sense… I work around the rules and can defend WHY I deviated.

Here, everything is an exception, the rules are guidelines at best, which are differentially or preferentially enforced, and at worst the rules are right out the window. However, like laws which no longer apply to the reality of life they stay on the books and can be selectively enforced to punish or just really fuck up your day.

That’s where I am now.

I hate not having real policies and procedures!

I’m German…

Figures!

First days off in 2 weeks, and I’m sick.

GRRRR!

Sinuses are a mess, general body aches and I’m super tired, and honestly I feel like Crap!

Yesterday, I thought it was just that I was tired but today I woke up feeling pretty nasty. I have to head back to SD today so that I can be at work tomorrow.  Yippee!

This sucks and it’s going to suck worse tomorrow at work.

The only thing to do is head back to SD early and try to get more sleep.

So much for my “Weekend” 

I hope yours is a better one.

Things will be even more off Kilter

New Job, New Schedule.

3:00AM to 12:00 PM So I will see the sun, but I won’t be seeing any TV (Daytime TV SUCKS!)  

Come to think of it that’s probably a good thing! At least I’ll be insulated from the antics of our so-called Presidential Candidates. 

Crashing Shpaceship

In the back of my head there’s all these klaxons and warning bells, about my finances and my life augering into the ground.

PULL UP! PULL UP! PULL UP!

There’s the rumor that a $2 premium per hour is paid for working the night shift.

I’m hungry enough to take advantage of it.

So there may be more blogs. I’ll be able to spend some time by the pool after I get home from work. On the other hand, I may be just so dog tired that I’m not up for writing.

Only time will tell.

Here’s one of those questions…

Why are women always so damn evil and nasty at the end of a relationship?

The soon to be ex wife;

Kills the dudes dog.
Burns his clothes
Fucks up his car
Hands $20,000 worth of his guns to some dumbass buyback for a $20 gift card.

But Divorce isn’t the only time women go freaking nuts. Women bosses do it too.

“I need your email password”

Uhh no you don’t, goto IT and disable my account.

“Make sure I have all the contact information typed on a manual typewriter in triplicate alphabetized by the contact’s second child’s middle initial”

You have all of this already in the corporate database, and you can sort it any fucking way you want to.

“You’re not getting your last paycheck until you meet all my requirements.”

Uhhh WRONG, my final paycheck including vacation pay is due within 72 hours of a layoff or termination.

“Make sure that you’re removed from the company website. Oh, you don’t have access to the website? That’s not my problem.”

Uhhh no, it’s not MY problem… I no longer work for you and therefore it would be highly improper for me to be editing YOUR website even if I had the password!

Then even after you’ve separated from the company, every hour on the hour — a nasty email bitching that a list of unrealistic shit isn’t completed.

It’s like women can’t just let it go, they have to keep rubbing salt in the wound and putting needles through your eyelids.

I’ve been through it over and over again, so it’s same old same old to me. Now, I’m a fucking bastard on the last day. I dragged my last female boss to HR 9 times on the my last day.

The idiot kept thinking she was going to hurt me with dumb assed petty shit. HR finally told her that she wasn’t to speak to me. (Dang it! I was hoping for enough fuckups on her part that I could file a harassment suit)


The other half is dealing with it for the first time. Due to the situation, it’s being dragged out and the other half is being way too nice. Thus far, I’ve maintained my distance but my patience is running pretty damn thin.

Every email that comes in from this rancid gash in a horse blanket just takes the wind out of my other half’s sails.

We need to be moving forward toward getting new jobs, and figuring out what our next move is. We don’t need to keep being dragged back into the shit this bitch has created.

She’s skirted the perimeter of the law, so filing a harassment case is out of the question.

Unfortunately, this is typical. Most attorneys won’t take a harassment case where a woman is the aggressor, because the burden of proof is much higher. After all Women don’t harass, it’s evil White males that do all the raping and harassing!

I’m about to go give this bitch a piece of my damn mind.

I could afford to loose a little bit, but even the smallest part of my mind would cause her head to burst due to the blinding logic it contained.

Women in positions of power really need to learn how to let it go.

The employee left, it doesn’t matter anymore. You’ll not have revenge and you’ve created yet another enemy.

Ladies, maybe you should be looking at why your employees or soon to be ex-husbands fucking hate you, instead of trying to take that final pound of flesh.

Just sayin…

I’ve finally learned my lesson

Images 1

I’ve been tinkering with this post for a while. I wasn’t sure that I really wanted to post it but I’ve come to a “what the hell point”  about it.

Let me preface with the following statements; I’m the guy that doesn’t illegally download music from the internet. I obey the law. I do whats right because I believe that’s the best way to live. I like the simplicity of not telling lies. I have purchased all my videos, and software. I pay my bills, and I admit it if I’ve fucked up and missed a payment.I admit when I’m wrong. I tell the truth and have always done my best to be honorable.

The problem is:

Honesty doesn’t pay.

This flies in the face of everything that I was taught as a child. When I was a kid, My parents taught me that being honest was absolutely the best thing you could be and that the rewards of being honest were great.

As an honest person I could expect respect from others, I’d be someone who people trusted and preferred to do business with,  my word would be my bond and we’d therefore not have to engage lawyers in anything but the most complex of contracts, I’d be a valued employee and could look forward to retirement as an honored person.

Perhaps these things were true when my parents were growing up.

They’re sure as hell not true now.

Let me give you some examples;

When I was dealing with the California EDD there was a question on the form you fill out. The question is “Did you start any training during period X or period Y. (X is the first week and Y is the second week). I answered yes… because I’m an honest man and I had in fact taken a 1 week training course.

My reward for being honest? EDD withheld the unemployment compensation for both weeks. Resulting in a shortfall of cash and late payments on several bills. Why the shortfall? because I was running that close to the line and attending the training class meant that I had to buy gasoline to attend the class.

Thanks EDD! Now I have the training to do a new job, but I don’t have the ability to attend any interviews.

I looked at that question for a long time before answering it. I knew in my heart that I should lie. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. In the back of my head was the knowledge that the class I was attending, reports the student attendance to the state of California. 

If it wasn’t for raiding my 401K I’d have had my car repossessed when I owed less than 3K on it. Since the car could still be sold for 20K this represents a wonderful profit for both the bank and the state.

#FAIL

The correct answer is to lie to EVERY STATE OFFICIAL, and on EVERY STATE FORM. Lie about your age, ethnicity, your religion, sexuality, and national origin, your circumcision status, and anything else you can.

I’m now a blind, black, mexican, transgendered, 30 year old, druid. Prove me wrong!

NEXT!

Images

Another example was when I was working for a government contractor as a Software Quality Assurance person.

The software was broken. It was horribly broken and with each iteration it was broken more severely than the last. As a lifelong QA person this is something that raises alarms in every industry. 

A QA persons job is to find the defects, report the defects, and come up with a way for the defects to be demonstrable on command, preferably so that the programmers can do a fault trace and correct the code in 20 minutes or less. (As an aside developers hate intermittent or difficult to reproduce problems.)

As a QA person I recreated every defect I reported at least 3 times. I did this to insure that I’ really did have a defect worth reporting and that I’d documented the steps to demonstrate the problem in as simple a way as possible.

While doing my job, the defect count kept going up I dutifully reported the problems. I followed procedure, and because I was concerned with the safety of the end users of our product I stuck to my guns about the defects. But I was told not to report the defects and eventually my ability to enter defects was revoked. This left me sending my defect reports to my boss who wouldn’t enter them because it made the project look bad.

I was honest. I didn’t lie, even when it was suggested that I do so. This was after all a government contract and my job as a citizen and QA person was to make sure that the product was delivered to the end users with as few defects as possible and that the project be delivered under budget and as quickly as possible.

WRONG

The game is that government contractors always overrun their budgets and their time. Why? because the government will penalize the contractor by reducing the amount of money it pays if the contractor delivers a product early.

Burying defects and slowing the progress of a project is the only way for a contractor to maximize their profits. It’s called follow-on maintenance.

So in this instance… once again truth is a very bad thing.

The common thread is that the state government and the federal government seem to operate on an illogic where honesty and truth are not in the best interest of the parties involved.

LAST EXAMPLE

Unknown

Under absolutely no circumstance should you ever tell the truth to your boss. In private or publicly, even if you’re respectiful and honestly trying to insure the success of a particular project or venture never tell the boss that their plan won’t work. Even if you have the weight of the history of mankind on your side… never tell them it won’t work. 

By doing so, you’re just setting yourself up to be at the top of the layoff list. If there aren’t layoffs imminent, you’re setting yourself up for poor reviews, and being tortured daily.

At the risk of sounding misogynistic (I wonder what the opposite of misogyny is? Oh there it is. Misandry, I’ve been on the receiving end of that more than once.), this is especially true if your boss is a woman. She is always right, she is always perfect, her ideas are just the best you’ve ever heard. “Of course we’ll make space in the office by drawing pentagrams on the floor and  casting spells to levitate the furniture. Obviously parking my desk and chair above my co-workers will work and save space.

Just make sure that you’re as far away from the explosion and laying of blame as you can be because you can bet your bottom dollar that she will try to blame anyone else for her half baked plan failing.

Whatever you do… NEVER EVER keep a record of your bosses directives. Absolutely, never present that record as your defense to upper management when your boss tries to blame you for the chaos and failure.

You’ll win the war… But you’ll lose your job.

Oh and never point out to anyone that working is about receiving compensation for your labor… The correct statement is, you work because you love the people at your office and you think your job is important and fulfilling. 

So from here on out. I’ve decided that I’m going to be like everyone else. 

I’m going to lie, cheat, and generally fuck over everyone else. The rules no longer apply to me, I’m special, I’m important, I’m entitled!

Never let it be said I don’t learn from my mistakes…