Tag: Things that make you say hmmm?

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Now this is a weird series of thoughts…

The following is the kind of shit I think about when I’m doing boring stuff like sanding the old paint off the trim of the house and prepping to caulk, prime & paint.

I was contemplating the latest news about the vaccine mandates. I was just randomly wondering what the difference between the vaccine hesitant and those folks who were all in with the mandates.

BTW, These mandate folks are coming awfully close to violating the terms of the Nuremberg code.

Growing up in the ‘60s & ‘70s there was always the threat of nuclear annihilation. This was courtesy of the cold war and the “bastard communists” in the old soviet union.

Every day we got up, we had our cereal, kissed our moms goodbye and we went to school. We started our day with the pledge of allegiance, had fire drills (actually hoped for those to get us out of pop quizzes), and nuclear bomb drills.

Little did we know that those nuclear bomb drills were almost completely pointless. We all knew what a civil defense logo looked like and where the nearest fallout shelter was. In the cases of the schools I attended, the bomb shelters were onsite. 

I can remember hearing the air raid sirens and wondering if this time we were going to feel the ground rumble like we’d seen in the civil defense films. It never occurred to me in elementary school,  that I might not ever see my parents again if the bombs actually fell, after all mommy and daddy both were wise and they would know where the bomb shelters were. After the dust settled they’d come to pick me up at school and we’d go home to watch TV.

Later in junior high school, my knowledge and wisdom increased, I realized that the bomb shelters weren’t going to be useful since by that time I’d read about the survivors of Hiroshima and seen the pictures. I was also learning about things like the half life of various nuclear material and how irradiated materials could retain dangerously high levels of radiation for decades.

Mutation, horrible death, and fear of a nuclear holocaust became elements of my daily life. The possibility was always lurking in the back of my mind. The thing is, it became commonplace, eventually it was just another stupid thing in my world. I ranked It up there with a curfew, or tardiness to school, or the school project that I didn’t want to do and was putting off till the last minute.

Nuclear destruction became ho hum, boring, just another part of living. It was like cancer or chickenpox, or the daily bully as I walked home from school.

As I became a young adult, I got busy with trying to make my way in the world. The threat of nuclear destruction took a back seat to the more immediate things like eating, living, loving, paying my bills, and being happy.

I lived through the HIV/AIDS years, and looking back I wasn’t particularly afraid of that any more than I was of nuclear bombs falling. In the case of HIV/AIDS I was pissed off about it because that hit just as I was figuring out, and getting experience with sex. All of which came to a screeching halt just when I was getting good at it. 

HIV/AIDS Poster

Don’t take that the wrong way. HIV/AIDS was a threat, it was scary, I lost a lot of good friends, including the one who said, “Dude, we medical folks don’t really know what this is, but looking at the spread pattern I think it’s somehow sexually transmitted. So just remember, no glove, no love.” He saved my life, unfortunately he didn’t take his own advice. 

Flash forward 50 or so years from my childhood, and we’re dealing with a virus that has a breathtaking mutation rate. We have misinformation and what I only think of as fear porn 24/7. Oddly, it’s reminiscent of the “Dirty Bastard Communist nukes,” news I remember pretty clearly.

Maybe it’s a fatalism that I’ve carried with me all my life that leaves me somewhat less concerned about this virus, than the younger crowd. 

I suppose I adopted a  “Live the day, you may be dead tomorrow,” kind of thing.

Then there was the first SARS which was again sort of a meh moment. No-one panicked about it, hell no-one much noticed. Although I do recall the media banging the be terrified angle pretty hard. Nobody paid much attention. We didn’t shut down anything.

SARS

In a nuclear exchange, it’s gotta be over 90% that you’re going to die. With the COVID-19 virus, there’s a better than 90% chance you’ll survive.

It’s not political, it’s not racist, it’s just another damn thing in my life.

With a better than 90% survival rate this whole virus thing doesn’t come close to freaking me out like the concept of being atomized in a millisecond.  This isn’t even in my top 10 worries.

I wonder if the “Unclean” vaccine hesitant folks in America are around my age?

Give or take 20 years. Those who are 40 something might still remember talk at the dinner table about the nuclear threat. They may have incorporated their parents lassie faire attitude. They’re quite possibly doing the math and thinking, “Eh whatever. It’s not like a fusion bomb.”

COVID-19

(While changing a sanding pad, I had this thought…)

Sonofabitch! I should thank the USSR for the cold war and the lessons of mutually assured destruction (MAD)

Were it not for my growing up under that sword I would be huddled in my darkened house with a hoard of food, ammo, and guns, muttering to my favorite knife, and twitching at every single noise I heard outside. But I’d be afraid of looking out the window to see what it was.

Instead, I’m standing here in the sun, on a beautiful autumn day, doing something that while it’s work I don’t really want to do, I’m enjoying anyway.

So thank you to all the comrades of the former USSR. Had it not been for your saber rattling I’d be quaking in my boots, in fear of everything.

The next thought that crossed through my mind was that people of my age don’t appreciate being badgered. President Biden at one point in his life had to know that. It speaks volumes about him personally and the youth of his staff that he is badgering Americans.

Most of the young probably haven’t see and certainly wouldn’t remember Nikita Khrushchev banging his shoe like a hammer at the UN screaming, “We will bury you…”

Nikita Khrushchev Speaking at the UN

We all know how that ended for the old USSR.

I am still very amused that the folks who prior to COVID were against vaccinations of their children for childhood diseases, are often the same folks screaming today loudly for mandatory vaccinations for everyone.

My amusement at their hypocrisy is that they don’t see it as hypocrisy. Some them have gone so far as to use the line, “Its for the children…”

Original AntiVaxers

I get that everyone has the capacity to change their mind or opinion. That’s totally cool, it means folks are learning.

What I don’t get is some folks ability to hold diametrically opposed thoughts in their heads at the same time and claim that all are true.

Call me binary. (Yeah, that’s a no no today, isn’t it?)

Where ever you come down on the vaccination issue, please at least have thought it through.

Do your own research, make an informed choice.

But under no circumstances should you just bow to the whims of the mob. You are and should always be in inviolate control of your own body and that includes what you allow to be put into it.

Hmm. Another weird thought is this one. How can the European Union which has so very publicly, over the past decade been against GMO foods and grains be so draconian about vaccine enforcement now?

Yeah, I know that the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines aren’t technically GMO organisms. But given that the spike protein in question is a direct result of genetic modification doesn’t the EU stance seem just a bit odd?

It was at this point that the second battery died on the power sander, and my knee started killing me.

I came inside and other things beside random thoughts occupied my attention.

Now you know where some of this blog comes from. Sometimes it’s just the product of me having something boring to do.

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Apple, Just Stop!

There’s no shame in acquiescing to your customers.

You’re on a slippery slope with your CSAM scanning. Lots of folks are justifiably concerned that this particular system could be misused.

This concern could easily translate into losses for your stockholders. While I recognize that a substantial part of your revenue is dependent on China, creating a system that so obviously could scan a persons phone for an oppressive regime isn’t going to help.

Our own government is and has demonstrated that no government is above spying on its citizens. Please don’t make it any easier for them.

I personally have already pulled my personal photos off of iCloud.

I’d imagine that you’re seeing a lot of other people doing the same thing. Take a look at your network activity. How much network traffic is outbound? How many photos are marked for deletion?

The real tell for you will be how many people don’t update to your latest operating systems.

We won’t know that until you release the new offerings in September – October but I suspect that a lot of people have switched off automatic updates. I know I have,

The problem isn’t that you’re trying to prevent Child pornography. That’s a good thing, the problem is that you’re opening the door to scanning anything stored in what is supposed to be private storage.

If we’re paying for cloud services, I believe that you should be treating those cloud accounts like safety deposit boxes. What’s in them is none of your business. Unless you’re presented with a warrant, nobody, including the hosting entity should be looking at what is stored in them.

The problem Apple, is that you’ve gone further. By your own description you’re programming our phones to scan at least some of the data they contain. How long before you’re scanning all the data?

How long will it be before you’re looking for images of confederate flags, or a proud gun owner’s collection of guns, or “hate speech”, Anti-Vaccine comments, “Transphobic” remarks, any nude photos, or rude comments about The President or Vice President?

For the first time in more than 2 decades. I’m looking at Windows computers. I’m searching around for dumb cell phones, and considering things like not having an iPad or an Apple Watch. I’m considering eliminating Apple cloud services from my life entirely as well.

I can turn off iMessage. I could force all text communication to go over SMS only. I’ve not decided on that quite yet because so many of my text communications are innocuous and mundane.

It’s not even that I have anything to hide. It’s the principal that my communications could become subject to anyone’s approval.

What is next? Will Apple employ banks of people who censor conversations, becoming like FaceBook, Twitter, and Google?

Where is the Apple that just a few years ago told the FBI, “No we will not unlock a terrorists phone?” Remember that Apple? The Apple that I was proud of, the Apple that would not yield to government pressure?

Just Stop, before it’s too late. You still have time, no-op the code.

There’s a quote some thing like; Scientists contemplate can we do a thing? Scientists often fail to ask themselves SHOULD we do a thing.

Apple, it’s time that you ask, “Should we do a thing?”

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This may force me to get a dumb phone…

Apple recently released information about enabling child protection features. 

I’m ALL IN for stopping Child Porn.

When I was running my small business sorting out people’s computer problems, part of the contract stated:

In the course of performing repairs, should child pornography, “snuff” pornography, evidence of non-consensual torture, or murder, (Video, Photos,) of any kind be discovered, all work will be terminated. In accordance with law enforcement directives your computer and your contact information will be immediately turned over to appropriate law enforcement. Initial that you have read and understand :_____

There were only a very few people who got to that paragraph and decided against my repairing their computer.

More often than not, folks would ask questions like, “I have some pictures of my child as a newborn or in their first bath, will those be a problem,” or “I may have some photos of me and my spouse ummm, having sex. Will those be a problem,” The answer to both questions was always, “No, that’s not a problem. I won’t go looking for photos while I’m working on your machine, but sometimes if I’m recovering files I’ll stumble on something.”

Generally people would laugh and I’d assure them it was best to think of me like their lawyer or doctor. Nothing innocent I ever came across would leave my possession and any drives I used to backup their data while I was re-installing their OS or whatever were cleansed with a military grade wipe program as soon as their data was back on their computer safely.

There was one guy who flat out told me that his computer was loaded with some seriously evil stuff. He saw the look on my face and produced his badge. “I’m a crime scene photographer,” he explained. He was kind enough to give me moment to call and verify the badge number. Thankfully in his case I was pulling back some documents that had been corrupted, and I didn’t have to worry about crime scene photos.

There was only one guy, a priest, who I enacted that paragraph with. He had his computer turned over to law enforcement. (In truth, had his computer not been full to the brim with horrific porn, I’d have missed it altogether.)

The common thread here is that I didn’t go looking for stuff. It’s really none of my business. In my business privacy was something that I respected and honoring privacy was what got me referrals.

For a moment think of what information you’re handing over to a 20 year old at The Geek Squad counter. Did that make your hair stand up? It probably should have. Which is not to imply that The Geek Squad is a bad group of folks… How much of your private business do you want shared? Even if it’s only in the back room of a Best Buy. 

“Hey Bill, take a look at this guy’s wife! She’s super HOT!”

Uh yeah, you get the picture.

So I’m super AGAINST Child Pornography, But at the same time I’m really about Privacy.

There’s the conflict.

Apple is planning on having your device scan for specific images that are currently identified in a database. It looks like the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children may be providing some or all of the HASH (Think of these as numeric fingerprints of an image) which makes sense.

As we all know, if you look for naked pictures of anyone you’ll find the same 20-50 images repeated on site after site. The same is probably more true for Child Porn. 

That area is so… Wrong, that I’m betting it’s a fairly limited number of unique images. I can’t imagine there are more than a few thousand “Producers” of such material worldwide. Although there are apparently millions of “Consumers” of this kind a material. It’s the consumers that drive the trade, not the pervert who gets their jollies abusing children. 

I say that without doing any research, and I may be terribly naive about it. Honestly, I don’t want to research the actual numbers, the thought turns my stomach. And the last thing I want to do is cleanse my computer of God only knows what kind of viruses those sites would try to put on my system. I also don’t want to have to explain to the FBI why I’d suddenly taken an interest in those sites. 

Let me maintain what’s left of my shredded innocence, okay?

Anyhow, since Apple is going to be running this on our local machines what is that going to do to our battery life? That’s the first thing that popped through my head. The next thing that popped through my head is the myriad ways technology like this could be misused. They’ve said that they’ll be looking at photos sent via messages too. To me this begs the question of how long will it be until Apple is scanning our message text for so called “Questionable Material”. 

Instead of looking for Child Porn, what would happen if say the DOJ demanded Apple look for specific people? How about a specific location? Maybe a specific phrase? How about specific websites in your browser history? What about looking for a specific item, that you might have taken a picture of?

Apple’s explanation of the HASH algorithm indicates the proposed system wouldn’t be applicable at this time for that kind of specificity. But AI augmented recognition could eventually be used to do something like that. On that point, we’re not looking at the next decade, we’re looking at a handful of years at best.

The current algorithm could be used on your browser history right now. It could just as easily look for politically questionable sites and target you.

China and any other totalitarian state must be orgasmic over the possibilities.

What then?

In a society of picture happy people, how might such a system be turned into a weapon against you?

You realize that if you have your photos syncing to iCloud that the conduit works both ways. If I take a picture with my phone, it goes to iCloud and is available on all my devices. Likewise, if I put photos into iCloud’s web interface those photos can appear on all my devices.

What kind of chaos could one create by uploading child porn to someone’s iCloud account?

Imagine this scenario. A nasty divorce, the aggrieved spouse has the password to their partner’s iCloud account and in a fit of pique uploads child porn. Oooops! Now the divorce is on the fast track because one of the partners is in jail.

Imagine the possibilities with politicians. This brings an all new meaning to the term “Mud Slinging”. Although Hunter Biden’s laptop apparently didn’t raise any eyebrows at the DOJ. 

This smells like a proverbial “Slippery Slope” and it worries the hell out of me.

The President has asked? Demanded? That big technology be brought to bear on White Extremist groups. But he hasn’t actually defined what that means. My definition of White Supremacy is very different from the few groups the president has called out.

Is this another case of White Supremacists are, “What I say they are at any particular moment,” if so, then Apple is going toward support of a totalitarian state and that is something I can’t support.

I can turn off iCloud. I can make my phone as dumb as a stone. I can isolate my devices in such a way that they can compute HASHes all day long but they’ll not be able to send their data anywhere. Or I can go completely dark. The internet is super nice to have, but if it becomes a tool that I’m handing to an authoritarian government that demands my submission…

Then I can do without it.

I realize this sounds very conspiracy theory, but when Jews who lived through the Holocaust, and Russians who escaped communism, or folks from Cuba, or escapees from Venezuela,  start saying, “This is how it began in my country.” I listen up!

I defer to their experience.

Our government has grown large enough that it is self sustaining without the consent of the people. That makes it, and the people enmeshed in it, dangerous. Like a beast in the forest, the government will strike at a threat to defend itself. It’s possible for the people asking questions and demanding answers, to become a threat. How did The President put it? An Existential Threat.

There are many other ways to communicate. Surprisingly there are methods of encryption that are difficult enough to be unbreakable for a reasonable length of (ALL Encryption can and will be broken if enough effort is put into the task,) time which do not require computational power to create.

However, those methods might require actually seeing someone in person. Meeting in a bar or restaurant is probably going to be unavailable in the near future. With the implementation of COVID passports, even if you’re not carrying a phone that’s broadcasting your location, your COVID passport being scanned at the door to some venue will provide tracking. So I can imagine folks going back to the old Soviet Era spy tactic of a dead drop.

8/12/2021 – I actually started writing this a couple of days ago.

Since I began writing this, there have been a number of voices raising the alarm. Apple has tried to explain what they’re doing and reassure everyone that they will not ever -absolutely never – double pinky swear, use this technology to do anything but scan for child porn.

I’d like to believe them. But as much as we’ve all been misled, lied to, and told that what we’ve seen with our own eyes didn’t happen, over the past 5 years. I find that I can’t believe Apple any more than I believe anyone else.

Remember when Google’s motto was, “Don’t be evil,” yeah, we all know how that turned out. It looks like Apple is heading down the same path.

As of this morning I’ve turned off automatic updates on all of my devices. I’ve backed up all of my photos to a flat file system OUTSIDE of Apple’s applications. 

If the price of IOS 15, or the new MacOS, is that I have to submit to Apple being able (in theory) to spy on me, then the price is too high.

What I’ve got right now is working just fine.

We can only hope that millions of other people are doing the same thing and that at the next WWDC in Spring, Mr Cook won’t be able to tout those impressive IOS and MacOS adoption numbers. When he’s describing IOS and MacOS numbers that look like Android and Windows update metrics, maybe he’ll get the message.

Hell, I’d love to see every single owner of Apple products turn them all off for a day. You know, maybe Sept 1, 2021. Call it A DAY WITHOUT APPLE.

Call it a protest, let Apple see just how many people are annoyed by this incursion into our privacy. What do you suppose their reaction would be if a couple of million users just signed off for the day?

Who knows? It might get their attention and remind them that Apple’s stock prices are linked to their customer satisfaction.

Now I’m off to consider if terminating Apple One+ is in my best interest or if I’m cutting off my nose to spite my face.

Oh, and even if I’m not uploading my photos to iCloud, my phone has a lot of memory… I can still directly connect my phone to my computer and move those photos to my computer. Sure it’s not as slick or convenient but I can still use my phone as a camera even if I feel it necessary to make my phone dumb as a stone.

As an aside, unlocked 4G flip phones are $35 on Amazon. Just food for thought.

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What happened to “Herd Immunity”?

Caught this article.

This is one of the more disturbing things I’ve read. Yeah, today is my news day. There are times when I wonder why I even look. The dumpster fire that is my country today is revolting.PeteParada1 640x480

The short version of the article is that drummer Pete Parada for the band Offspring has been fired because he cannot take the vaccine. Really, he can’t, his doctor recommended against him taking it because he has Guillain-Barré syndrome.

This is an autoimmune disorder wherein the patient’s own immune response attacks their nerves.

Given that there have been cases of Bell’s Palsy associated with some of the vaccines it is completely logical that Parada’s doctor would recommend against the vaccine in his particular case. You know, under the rule “Do No Harm”, or how about “The benefit of taking the vaccine is outweighed by the risk”

But it gets even better. Parada has already had COVID. He had it last year and has been immune for longer than all these newbies with their vaccinations. Technically he has the GOLD standard of immunization.

Not that it matters to the people in power. Managers, Booking Agents, Hollywood, Politicians, or the Media.

This constant push on the part of the media and our government for everyone to take the vaccine is very strange. There was a time not too long ago where moms would arrange playdates for their children with another child who had measles or chickenpox.

OMG!!!

By todays standards, that would have Child Protective Services right up your ass.

But there was method in this apparent madness. Moms could plan to have and care for a sick child. The child had superior immune responses and were extremely likely to get a little sick, get through it, and have lifelong immunity to chickenpox or measles. THE BENEFIT greatly outweighed the risk and inconvenience.

Before there was a vaccine for mumps, it was preferred that all children acquire the disease prior to entering puberty. This avoided much more serious complications of mumps, such as sterility.

As awful and potentially deadly as smallpox is (was) a large majority of people survived it. The vaccine simply was a scientific method of preventing someone catching the disease or being scarred by it. Not everyone in the world today has been vaccinated against smallpox, yet it’s generally accepted that smallpox is a disease of the past. That’s what they call herd immunity.

In the case of drummer Pete Parada if he’s the only person on stage who has not been “officially” vaccinated and all the other members of the band have, what the hell is the problem? He’s going to be at the back of the stage, away from their adoring fans, and  is unlikely to spread COVID.

When did we become a people driven by fear not logic? How is this in any way scientific (following the science) when we are disregarding over 100 years of established medical science. Further since the medical establishment (At least the vocal government sanctioned part of it) has started pushing vaccinations for even people who have already had COVID, how can anyone be surprised at vaccine hesitancy or conspiracy theories popping up?

Suddenly, in 2021 decades of medical information spoon fed to us by the medical establishment is being tossed aside and EVERYONE must take an experimental vaccine. Is it any wonder that Grandma and Grandpa out on the farm might be asking questions?

Then there’s this lovely item in The Atlantic

Juliette Kayyem 640x480Juliette Kayyem writes:

The White House has rejected a nationwide vaccine mandate—a sweeping suggestion that the Biden administration could not easily enact if it wanted to—but a no-fly list for unvaccinated adults is an obvious step that the federal government should take. It will help limit the risk of transmission at destinations where unvaccinated people travel—and, by setting norms that restrict certain privileges to vaccinated people, will also help raise the stagnant vaccination rates that are keeping both the economy and society from fully recovering.

WOW!

This is from a former assistant secretary for Homeland Security under Obama.

WTF?

Elsewhere in the piece she does make a point about limiting the spread of COVID via travel restrictions from other countries. I’m sure she called Trump racist and xenophobic when he stopped incoming flights from China.

Now though, she is suggesting a no fly list for the unvaccinated! This is anti-American and once again unscientific on its face.

If you’re vaccinated then you have taken appropriate steps to minimize the transmission of COVID either by you getting it again, (you shouldn’t since you’re vaccinated,) or spreading it because once again you’re vaccinated.

Therefore a no fly list for the unvaccinated is completely UNTHINKABLE, because it’s INSANE.

Unless…

The vaccine isn’t working like other vaccines have in the past. But do we really know either way? On the one hand we have this oft repeated quote:

…remarkably safe, effective vaccines are widely available, at least to adults.

Yet we have increasing reports of “Breakthrough” COVID infections among the vaccinated. So which is it?

With every passing week, the government attempts to assure the public that vaccination is the ONLY way to go, but then spokespeople from that same government, or those held up by the press as, “People in the know” are undermining that message by their words and actions.

All the Texas Democrats that “fled” Texas to Washington DC were vaccinated. Yet after they met with Vice President Harris, 6 came down with COVID. Then VP Harris ran to Walter Reed for “A routine checkup”.

The VP is vaccinated right?

If she was exposed to some kind of “Breakthrough” variant there’s not a lot that Walter Reed could do. If she was worried about it, she should have quarantined and not exposed everyone else to a potential variant to go to her “routine checkup”.

Isn’t that what the rest of America has been told to do? If you’ve been exposed, self quarantine. I seem to recall something like that over the past year and a half. Even my Doctor said if I’d been exposed to please reschedule my appointment and there’d be no penalty.

That’s my doctor! When have you known a doctor to waive charging you for a missed or late appointment?

Just sayin…

This kind of chaos is not helping to motivate those with vaccination hesitancy, nor is it doing anything to assuage the fear of COVID. All this is doing is deepening the divides between the American people.

We have quite enough division to work through, we don’t need Vaccination status to fracture us further.

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Chasing Gremlins

There are many benefits to technology.

Most of us have various bits of tech in our homes, it may be just our computer, or our phones. Some of us have a bit more technology in our homes, and there be gremlins hiding there.

Most of the time the gremlins are dormant and only awaken when we do something causing us to trip over them. For example, we move something around, or try to add a new device. Usually these instances result in a minor irritation but are easily resolved.

I’ve been chasing gremlins for the past week and a half, and I have a lot of devices to chase the little devils through.

About a week or two ago, Edison was having a problem. In the course of 4 hours they flipped the power on & off at least 6 times. I’d just get the clocks reset and bang! The power was off again. Sometimes the power would stutter on for a moment then go off again.

Technology really doesn’t like that!

All the gremlins awoke and have been running through system after system, creating odd and completely random effects. Devices appearing and disappearing from the network, devices working fine one moment and then refusing to execute a command they’d just completed. Or suddenly executing a command that they’d received an hour ago because they suddenly remembered it (Kinda like Joe Biden…)

Fortunately, unlike in the case of Joe, (switching off humans is generally a bad idea,) I can switch devices off and if necessary reinitialize them.

Over the past two days, I’ve begun to feel like The Exorcist. Get thee back Demon!!

Or like a poor bastard that pissed off a Techno-Madge in Babylon 5.

Then I remembered I AM a Techno-Madge and these gremlins will be purged!

There are 30 devices online at my home at any given moment. I’ve purged 25 of these devices thus far. the remaining 5 are sitting in techno-limbo as I type. They’re being reset to factory default and one by one I’ll add them to the network as they wake up mindless from their reset.

After that, the gremlins should be at least flushed from my systems for the time being.

Gremlins will always make a reappearance. Sometimes they’re artifacts of small little bugs that are no consequence in a particular device. The problem is that they can be cumulative. When you have enough devices added to the same network, these little insignificant bugs combine and mutate, (no, we’re not to Maximum Overdrive or SkyNet yet,) the mutation is more of an interaction between devices.

Mr Scott said it best, “The more you complicate the plumbing, the easier to stop up the works.”

We’re living it. All of our devices are “smart” each of them has memory, when they’re network connected the router and some switches remember the state of each of the devices.

Sometimes, just turning the device off and restarting it isn’t enough. That’s because the router will often reconnect the device(s) in the same way when you turn them back on again and then you’re right back where you started.

The systems are trying to be helpful but they’re actually just more frustrating.

I had to completely reinitialize the Nest Thermostat and the Nest Protect smoke alarms. That was fun, “Gee thanks Google, I knew no good would come of you purchasing Nest, you jackasses could complicate a wet dream.”

Did you know that if you plug a HomePod mini into your computer it will flash Orange? How about that the HomePod mini has around 2.6 gigabytes of software running inside it?

Did you know that your printer is a smart little bugger and it tries to remember it’s setup so hard that it actually fights you when you’re trying to send it back to factory default?

Don’t even ask about network attached storage devices. They can be really contrary. It’s with good reason, they’re trying to protect your data so many of them will require signs, countersigns, along with various incantations and sigils.

The most frustrating part of this particular adventure has been certain smart lightbulbs (I’m looking at you office lamp,) several of these machines have told me they’ve reset, but lied. The office light was the worst offender 5 times straight, “Yep, I’ve reset,” but then, “No, you can’t configure me because I’m already set up.”

“Uh huh, and how did that go for you little light bulb?” (Lightbulb contritely dims)

Don’t get me wrong, I like having a “Smart House”, privacy issues notwithstanding. Yeah, all these smart devices can and do phone their creators regularly. God only knows what information they’re sending.

I thought, and this is demonstrating perhaps white racist language, when I purchased a machine I was that machine’s master.

Yeah, what of it? Am I going to hear from the robot-rights association?

Alright the last devices appear to have returned to their pristine factory reset zombie state…

I’m off to give them a purpose again.

(Wanders off)

“Come on my little slaves, let’s put you back to work.“