Tag: Sarcasm

Posted on

Not to be too Alanis Morissette, but isn’t it Ironic Chicago is beefing up police coverage?

DNC 640x480.After all, why would a bastion of the Democrat party, its supporters, and its policies, in a deep blue state like Chicago need police protection?

Haven’t the Democrats championed defunding the police? Aren’t they confident that if left alone, crime will drop all on its own?

Have they no faith in their own policies?

Who would even think about disrupting the DNC?

Oh yeah, apparently they’re worried about the pro Palestine movement. They might also be worried about the Trans-right movement because Walz hasn’t pumped his ass full of estrogen and cut his dick off in solidarity with them. It might be the BLM still trying to be relevant and get those reparations they think they deserve. Didn’t the Democrats promise reparations?

Really? They don’t see the irony?

They fed the BLM protests. They fed the anti police / defund the police movement. Now they’re bringing LEO in from all over the state to assist with crowd control and local businesses have warned their employees to stay home for their own safety. Those same businesses are boarding up their windows because of the anticipated violence.

Ironically, their own favored groups are the very groups likely to perpetrate the violence.

Mark my words, when the shit gets out of hand, (and it will,) the Democrat Party will claim there were MAGA supporters taunting the “mostly peaceful protestors” thereby inciting riots. They say this kind of shit all the time so it’s not like I’m a gifted prognosticator. It’s just they lie about everything and MAGA is their goto boogie man.

Ironically, the Democrats will prove Conservatives and supporters of law and order, correct, once again.

Perhaps the Democrat party should change their name to the Irony party.

Almost everything they champion comes back to spank them metaphorically and ironically.

At least then their party name would match the party experience.

Posted on

I’ve been wanting to try this for fun

A trip inside my twisted brain while I’m reading headlines.

 

EXCLUSIVE: MTG SAYS KEMP HAS THE ‘POWER’ TO CRIMINALLY PROBE WILLIS
Isn’t that called Rape, why does he need power? That woman is desperate enough she paid for it didn’t she?

HUNTER BIDEN TO SIT FOR CLOSED-DOOR DEPOSITION
They’ll have to close and lock that door otherwise he’ll run away during questioning. I’d suggest a car battery attached to his balls via jumper cables, but as kinky as he is that’s probably just a normal Tuesday night. 

TODAY: MARCH FOR LIFE IN FRIGID D.C.
If D.C. is frigid do they really have a problem with abortion? Perhaps marching for life in Atlanta, Chicago, or Detroit would have more of an impact. I never really thought of D.C. as frigid, that place is absolutely chock full of whores, there are lobbyists who would perform anilingus on Maxine Waters for a dollar.

IS BLINKEN EVIL, OR JUST CLUELESS?
Blinken is worse than either of these alone. He’s clueless but thinks he’s smart and wants to be Dr. Evil

BIDEN CO-CHAIR: DEMS HAVE SHIFTED ON BORDER BECAUSE IT’S SO BAD
In other words, they’re figuring out their cushy jobs are on the line in the next election.

‘U.S. IN DEEP FREEZE WHILE MUCH OF THE WORLD IS EXTRA TOASTY? YET AGAIN, IT’S CLIMATE CHANGE’
Nah, it’s not climate change. All the MEN in the US just turned the A/C on, trying to cool our tempers, and our balls.

EU Illegal Migration to Continue to Increase in 2024, Will Play Major Factor in Parliament Elections: Report
Yep, the actual citizens of the EU countries being overrun will be voting for anti-immigration candidates.

NATO: Next 20 Years Not ‘Hunky Dory’ and Public Needs to Prepare Itself to Survive ‘The First 36 Hours’ of War
Hmm. The past 3 years of wars haven’t been Hunky Dory, and they’re just now getting around to mentioning preparedness

DOJ Finds ‘Cascading Failures of Leadership’ in Uvalde Police Response to Robb Elementary Shooting
WOW! Isn’t that a case of the Porta-Potty calling the Gas Station toilet filthy?

Rep. Correa: Mayorkas Is Doing ‘Good’ Despite Fentanyl and Border Failures
I really would like to know Rep. Correa’s level of standards. Or how much he got paid and by whom to say that. Or just how much Fentanyl he snorted prior to making this statement.

Dem Rep. Smith: ‘Open Door’ on Asylum Claims Is Hurting My District in Washington
Uh Huh, The property values are dropping like a stone in Rep. Smith’s district. 

‘Massive’ Layoffs Spur Friday Walkout at Far-left L.A. Times
Hmm. If the LA Times has a walkout and there’s no LA Times article with byline about it, did it happen? The walkout will spare us their drivel for a day and make the executive’s jobs easier. They can just lay off everyone not doing their job. First though you’d have to be able to define what the LA Times produces as actual work for pay. I tend to think of their output as cow shit with glitter sprinkled on top.

Usually after I’ve read the headlines and thought snarky things, I’ll go ahead and read some of the articles. They’re nothing like what I imagined, but at least going into them I know they can’t be as bad as I first imagined…

Usually they’re worse!

Have a Great Saturday!

Posted on

My pronoun is Dr. I also identify as Black.

After the stellar example set by Claudine Gay, and Harvard, I’ve realized I was going about this education thing all wrong. I actually thought I had to go to class and do the work!

Silly me!

All you have to do is get a scholarship then plagiarize the hell out of people who actually did the work! Oh, I suppose you need to spout some Marxist Crap and whine about how oppressed you are as a member of a “Minority” and play the victim really well.

Who knew you only had to write ten academic papers for publication in your entire career? Oh that those ten papers can have at least 50 examples of plagiarism.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to bother with paying an obscene amount of money to listen to Socialist/Marxist/Victim/Racists, indoctrinate me.

I’m just going to claim I went to Harvard and completed my Phd in Physics. I’m fairly sure the level of education I’ve obtained reading actual books and watching YouTube conspiracy videos is sufficient to meet Harvard’s requirements.

Hell, I’ll submit this Blog as evidence that I’ve written and published material.

But my Crowning achievement is my New Book. A Brief History of Time, The book is actually written by Stephen Hawking, but by Harvard and Claudine Gay’s rules… WHO CARES!

After years and years of dedicated fucking around… I’m a Physicist!!!

No, you can’t accuse me of stealing anything, I identify as a Black woman. No, you can’t ask questions!

Now, who do I see about collecting my 800 thousand dollar per year paycheck???

For Fucks Sake! 

How did academia come to this low point? 

Plato, Socrates, Newton, Archimedes, Hawking, Darwin, and all the rest of the great thinkers from our history are either weeping for the future, or have decided to just go get drunk off their asses and watch humanity devolve into what?

Gender confused sheep who can’t command fire? Well at least at that point we can look forward to humanity’s relatively swift extinction and some other sentient species evolving.

Many Years from Now, in an Afterlife Nightclub™.

“Hey guys, can I join you at the bar? Oh, Sorry Stephen… err Doctor Hawking, I was making a point, not trying to claim your work as my own. Given that you had a sense of humor I figured I could get away with it. Can I buy you a beer? Is anyone taking bets on how long Humanity lasts?”

Posted on

Hey you Colorado Folks, you no longer have the burden of voting!

You’re Welcome!!!!

Now you don’t have to read any pesky voter pamphlets. You don’t have to agonize over your vote, or who’s running for whatever office.

You’re free of the burden of responsibility.

From here on out you’ll never risk being like Florida when it comes to counting votes. In fact, the approved candidate will “Win” Colorado within minutes of the polls opening. 

If you’re only allowed to vote for one candidate it greatly simplifies things doesn’t it?

You’re all such “Good Little communists” you’ll be well rewarded.

Colorado… The first American Communist state. Praise Jesus!

“Wait, who are you guys? Why are you taking me? I was extolling the virtues of the party… Oh come on, I’m being arrested for saying Jesus? And I’m white? No you’re wrong, I’m 1/16th black on my mothers side. No! I’m not resisting arrest.. Prison? What for? Won’t someone help me?“

Colorado… Has been added to the states that I will not consider living in. I may visit once more for a wedding, but after that… Nope!

I’m waiting to see what California does… You know California is going to try to outdo Colorado. I don’t know what California will do but I’m sure it’ll be a complete subversion of what the majority of us older folks believe America is / was about. 

Perhaps, California will handle it by simply arresting Donald Trump and his staff when they land for a campaign stop. That would one-up Colorado. Especially if they reactivated Alcatraz. That would show Trump!

At this point I fully expect California will “Forget” to print Republican mail in ballots, but they’ll make sure that Democrat mail in ballots are printed and mailed out at least 6 weeks early.

Not that it matters in California, the Republicans are such a minority here, they couldn’t fill a sports stadium.

In that regard California has already bested Colorado. There’s no real need to count votes here. Pick any liberal money spending scheme, or any democrat candidate. Whatever is the absolute worst for the people, budget, or state and they / it  automatically wins.

Posted on

Obviously MEN are better at everything!

Men are better at Sports. We’re better at women’s and men’s sports hands down.

Men are winning Women of the year awards and all we have to do is what we already do best. Dress like a woman and apply makeup better than women do. I’ll admit the tuck and duct tape might be a bit uncomfortable but hey we’re better at dealing with pain too.

Men are stronger, better cooks, painters, drivers, clothing designers, and shoes designers too, (Think Jimmy Cho)!

Men are better at war, science, healing, diplomacy, computer science, and really anything you can name. Obviously, men should be paid more than women!

Most of us can write our initials (some of us our whole names,) in piss, on walls and in sand or snow. How many women can do that? Women don’t think that’s cool, but lots of proud CIS men think it’s cool.

Once artificial wombs are working we’ll be better at reproduction too. Why? Because we have X and Y chromosomes. In the event that women ever become necessary again we have the ability to make them.

Why bother? Women are bad at everything.

Remember that God originally built only Adam. Adam was lonely so God built Eve from Adams rib. If God had built Steve instead of Eve, then perhaps the whole mess with the tree of knowledge and the serpent could have been avoided.

Wake UP PEOPLE!

This is the kind of stupid crap that we were supposed to have eradicated 30 years ago. Yet here we are again. What’s next? Will we force women back into the kitchen to be barefoot and pregnant?

Come on! Stop acting like men dressing like women and taking awards away from Ladies who worked their asses off for them is okay.

This shit isn’t right and we all know it. Stop being afraid to call it out.

If something isn’t right and it’s obviously hurting a select group, aren’t we supposed to speak up and fix the problem? The problem here is asshole men who want 5 minutes in the spotlight because they couldn’t rank against other men, so they beat the shit out of Women in sports and other awards.

Oh, Ladies, the men who stand up against this dumb assed shit, will really need your help and guidance… You know sometimes we’re like bulls in china shops. We need a soft hand on the shoulder with a soft kind voice, letting us know when it’s time to stop.