Ya Know, I’d really like to wake up when the alarm goes off.

Lately though that has not been the case.

It’s a function of it being Summer and me leaving the windows open for the evening breezes. I fall asleep listening to the crickets and wind in the trees.

I might wake up if the dog shifts position, or jumps back up on the bed after getting a drink. I fall back to sleep quickly after he settles. There’s a security seeing his silhouette on the corner of the bed. I can tell in the darkness that he’s got his noise pointed toward the open sliding door. If anything were to be bold enough to come to the screen he’d be awake, letting me know about it.

The past few days it’s not been the dog who’s waking me up. It’s other humans!

Crazy Pants has taken to blood curdling screams sometime between 5:00 and 6:30 am. One of these days someone she lives with will realize that they can choke the life out of her and no matter how much she screams no-one will think to call the cops or report anything out of the ordinary.

Yesterday she started the morning by kicking or punching one of the men living over there. I don’t know exactly what she did but I woke to a male sound that reminded me of similar sounds guys make if they’re kicked in the balls or kicked in the gut. Moments later she was screaming about how lazy and useless, blah, blah, blah. After a few minutes a strained male voice was replying. There was an escalation of the argument and increase in volume then suddenly Crazy Pants was quiet. If he choked her, I’m not sure I’d be able to testify that he was in the wrong. She was screaming again this morning so apparently he didn’t choke her to death.

This morning the trash truck showed up at 6:15 am to pick up the trash that they’d not bothered to pick up on Monday. The recycling truck came through, but the regular trash truck didn’t. They needn’t have bothered, most of us pulled our trash cans back off the street because we don’t like cleaning up after the nocturnal critters that like to get into the trash. I’m one of the few folks on this street that still has bear proof trash bins. All the new bins supplied by the trash company have no locking mechanism at all. So raccoons, and other night critters attracted by kitchen scraps, sometimes turn the cans over, spreading the contents all over the street or yards.

There’s a reason the trash company issued bear proof trash cans years ago. But that’s been forgotten by some, and the newbies to town never think about the natural wildlife potentially in the area. It’s always funny when a newbie reports seeing a coyote and the old folks (like myself) respond with “And?” We’re expecting something more than, “I saw a coyote!”

Due to the tropical storm, we’ve had heavy construction equipment working in the wash up & down the canyon. This is the second time this year. The distinctive “Beep Beep Beep” starts around 6:45 right after the large diesel engines rumble to life. They even worked Saturday and Sunday so there was no respite from living in a construction zone.

Before they did the “Wash Improvement” we never had dump trucks, bulldozers, bucket diggers, or any of that stuff up here. Now it’s a yearly event.

I miss the silence of the forest, I miss seeing all the wildlife that we used to see in this canyon before the “wash Improvement project” destroyed the water source, habitat, and local environment. The construction sounds alone seem to drive away some animals.

It might have something to do with the time of year the construction starts. I miss having owls nesting near my house. Their hooting in the night was comforting. The red tail hawks moved much higher into the mountains. I’ll still see them soaring on thermals. Sometimes I’ll hear one snatching a small rabbit up out on some nearby open flats. I used to see them hunting all the time. They make spectacular dives, falling like a stone, flaring their wings out at the last possible moment claws extending, then bam! Their prey seems to just vanish.

Even the coyotes have left the canyon. It’s been years since I’ve seen a bear.

Maybe the trash company is right, there’s no need for the security of bear proof trashcans. The habitat has been sufficiently destroyed that humans don’t encounter their distant cousins anymore.

I want to be clear. This is not about climate change. This is about a man made environmental disaster committed in the name of flood control. This is about an environmental study that was incomplete at best, or the county purchased a “Rubber Stamp” at worst. There is still water in the wash. It’s just not accessible most of the time. This is due to the widening and flattening of the wash.

Before improvement, there was a stream about two feet wide and 2 to 3 inches deep most of the year, it only dried up in late Summer. This stream was fed from further up the mountainside. Up in the heights there are collecting pools that rainfall and snow melt keep full most of the year. Water from these collecting pools made its way down the wash splashing over rocks and down small waterfalls churning and bubbling until it made it to my level. The flowing water was cold, and clear. It provided life to all manner of critter that lived in the forest. You name any animal native to this region and we had it.

Walking along the rim of the wash in the early morning or evening you’d see deer, raccoons, sometimes bear, bobcat, cougar, and a variety of birds. It was possible to observe the phenomena of “Peace at the watering hole”. All the animals needed water so it was rare to see any hunting at the water’s edge. 50 yards from the water source all bets were off!

The “improvement” widened and flattened the bottom of the wash. The water still flows from the collecting pools as it always has. The collecting pools are beyond the reach of the county because they exist on National Forest Land therefore they haven’t been “improved”. The water flows down the natural creek bed to the place where the county “improved” things, when it hits the wide flat areas, it spreads out and soaks into the soil. Much of the water evaporates and for most of the year the bottom of the wash is a mud flat, instead of a place with abundant wildlife. Insects and small mammals can capitalize on what water is present, but animals larger than rodents can’t.

Man, once again makes a desert and calls it good.

Lately we’ve had a new “wake up” feature. There’s someone up the road who may be into those stupid wanna-be drift cars. Their only claim to being a “drift car” is a straight exhaust which is unbearably loud when the vehicle is going up a 15-20° incline anytime of day. It does seem especially loud at midnight though. Unfortunately, where there’s one wanna-be “drift car” others soon follow. Now there’s that noise several times in the evening and often right up to about 2 am. I don’t know what the hell they’re doing but the same cars drive up and down the street multiple times every night.

One car in particular leaves every weekday morning at about 7:30am. It’s annoying but I’m already up by then. I’d be up by then because my alarm is set for 7:15am. Not that I ever get to hear that waking me up if I’m home.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my alarm did in fact wake me. I made this discovery while I was on a cross country trip last year. I was staying in hotels and found that they were quieter than my home. Isn’t that a kick in the pants?

These are some of the things that go through my mind when I consider moving. The noise alone is reason enough for me to leave. But that begs the question where do I go?

Pulling up stakes is one thing, the question is, “where do you go that would be different?” I don’t want to trade one set of annoying issues for another set of super annoying issues.

I’m pretty sure I know what I don’t want, I don’t know exactly what I do want yet. Come Winter, I’ll have the house closed and the noise won’t be such a big deal. Maybe then I’ll have more restful nights sleep and sleep until my alarm wakes me.

Perhaps with more restful sleep will come answers to questions about where I go from here.

It’s a clean new morning!

A certain someone woke me as soon as he figured out the rain had stopped.

I have to admire the way the dog resets every day. He makes me smile more than most other things, so I’ll keep him around for now.

For those of you still below the grey cloud cover, here’s a sample of what you have to look forward to, later today.

The morning smells clean and fresh. The dog is beside himself exploring the yard. He’s already pushing for a walk, which he’ll get after I’ve had at least one cup of coffee…

I’m not sure if the trash folks are coming up today or not. I don’t know how crazy things are beyond what I can see.

I never lost power, or was inconvenienced in the least by the storm. I got to stay inside most of the day enjoying a movie or two, the dog cuddled up beside me with the sound of rain on the roof and the wash behind the house roaring away.

It looks like there’s some kind of inspection crew down at the bridge, I can see the lights but not what they’re doing. I guess I need a decent pair of binoculars at the very least.

I’ve been waiting for a pair that were all “techie” range finder, night vision, predator weapon interface. You know, loaded with SciFi shit like you see in the movies. You’d think by now someone would have put something like that together! 😁

I wanted to see if the smiley face would work. Don’t expect me to start communicating in modern hieroglyphics but I wanted to test it as an option.

It doesn’t look like there’s a lot to clean up immediately around the house. I’ll wander out in a bit to do an inspection just to make sure. I don’t believe there’s any damage either so I don’t have to deal with insurance claims or FEMA.

As you may have noticed I’ve posted some video in the past day or two. Yesterday it was because I was bored, and a video shot on my phone was not to my liking. I set about cleaning it up and learned more about editing video. I’ll never be a pro at it but it’s interesting to dabble with.

The reason I shot the video in the first place was to send to my neighbor who is helping out a sick loved one in Palm Springs and was curious about his house and the neighborhood. I suspect that he’s dealing with a number of messes out there which are more severe than what happened here.

Once I’d exhausted my patience with video stuff, I spent the rest of the day answering inquiries from family on the East Coast who had watched too much CNN. From the way they were talking I imagined CNN was saying that the end of days was here and it was starting in California?

Anyway after quieting their concerns and reminding them all that an 8000 Ft mountain stood between me and the storm, they lapsed back to normal anxiety levels. I’m so confident about my mountain I dare a CAT 5 hurricane to hit it directly!

Bring it! Mother Nature.

Seriously, most storms that come in from the South are gutted on the peaks of the mountains. I live in their shadow, the upside is those storms I don’t usually worry about too much, the down side is that in winter it’s dark at my house by 3pm.

The only storms I really worry about are those swirling storms that come in from the North. Those are usually bitterly cold and batter the town for days on end.

Those of you who were impacted by the storm, I hope you fared at least as well as I did. Remember things are still gooey in some places. So pay attention and don’t take any chances with mud or innocent puddles across the roads.

Have a good day


I just found out that part of my little town is cut off due to some roads and bridges being washed out. This doesn’t affect me per se because I don’t need to go anywhere today or probably tomorrow. When I secured the place due to the unknowns of the storm, I secured to stay in place for days… Even a week or two if necessary.

I find that having laid in supplies, having a plan, and not having to go anywhere tends to make me a whole lot calmer about this sort of thing.

I don’t know what to make of this…

This is a maple tree in my neighbors yard that is often pretty accurate in predicting the seasons. This one leaf is autumn but the rest of the tree is still summer green.

I suppose it could be a misfire, or perhaps Winter will be early and long this year. Great! NOT what I want to deal with. After last winter I could do without snow for a while.

I’d hoped to be well into securing a new place to live by now. Trouble is Keyboards are a royal pain in the ass to dispose of. The harps are at least at a consignment store, but I haven’t found a consignment store to put the keyboards in. It’s not just the instruments it’s all the music all the paper work etc. I’m only one man and honestly, I’m having a tough time remaining motivated. I hate cleaning up someone else’s mess. I’m shitty at cleaning up my own messes! LOL!

As an aside, a couple of the harps have been sold already which is super nice. From the sound of it, the harps have gone to people who will play them and love them that’s a good thing, not that the other half likely cares.

That’s a funny thing. When I first lost the other half, I was adamant about the instruments going to people who would play them and love them. Now I’m not quite so driven about that.

It’s moved to the “Nice to Have” column and out of the “Necessary” column.

My view is evolving, I think that’s because the wound isn’t so fresh. Now, I’m recognizing that he’s beyond caring and perhaps I shouldn’t or don’t need to care so much either. Is this me being a bad person? Or me breaking faith?

I don’t think so, I think I’ve moving toward my hallmark pragmatism that my other half always liked.

He also knew that underneath my hard outer shell, I’m a sentimental softy. So either way, if he’s interested in Earthly affairs anymore he’ll be tuning in and laughing at me. On the one hand I’m my pragmatic self, on the other hand I’m all sentimental. He knew being caught between the two really pisses me off!

When the house burned, he was astounded at quickly I disconnected from the possessions and wrote everything off. I wasn’t un-caring but I didn’t’ want to spend time fiddling with things that would never be “Right” again. I was in “Toss It & Move On” mode.

I need to move into that Mode again.

I may also have to accept that I’m not going to be out of this place this year.

Changed the header photo

I thought it was time for a change, I’d been looking for something to represent all four seasons, but hadn’t settled on anything beside Winter Snow and Autumn leaves. Now I have a Spring / Summer photo with some of the local flowers blooming.

The photo was taken on a nice day walking the dog. He ended up on the cutting room floor because he managed to have only his tail in the photo.

Here is another photo of him from that day. I was a good walk and a good day for both of us. We hadn’t been walking around this particular area for a while. Part of it burned a couple of years ago. I’d stopped doing our walks down there, because I didn’t want to think about a mostly white dog running around in a mostly black charred mess. I’d have gone broke in groomer fees. (OMG! I just used a term that’s banned on some platforms!)

This is the problem with redefinition of words and subsequent censorship of those words.

I digress…

I like this photo for its contrast and it also provides commentary on the county’s efforts to rehabilitate what they did to the wash behind the house.

This is the wash after the county spent 10 years working on it. The gash is 20 to 30 feet deep. Straight as an arrow and looks a lot more like a log flume than a flood control project. It was supposed to prevent erosion and manage occasional floods. In the distance you can see a bridge. For Years, the county resisted putting that bridge in. Building the bridge was the county admitting they were wrong.

There had been a bridge built over this wash in the 1930’s or ‘40s. It had washed out in a particularly nasty spring thaw/rain event. The county, instead of putting the bridge back, decided to dig a log flume. Then they decided to simply have the road surface drive through the wash bed.

In an effort to slow the water down they built a series of concrete and rock steps into the wash and subjected the residential area along the wash to 2 years of living in a construction zone.

The subsequent 10 years the neighborhood was a heavy equipment / construction zone for 3 to 5 months out of the year. An added bonus was that the roadway washed out pretty reliably, closing the road to town.

After a decade, the county redid the math and figured out if they put a bridge across the wash it would save them money. DUH!

The residents had been telling the county this from the beginning and because we were a bunch of rubes who knew nothing, the county ignored us entirely!

This is what the wash looked like before the county started messing about. There was water in it much of the year. The dogs and I would hike up the wash about 3/4 of a mile and play in the pools of cold clear water. We’d be dry by the time we’d walked back home but we’d all be happy. In late Summer there were wild blackberries to eat along the wash bank. It was rugged, natural, beautiful and ever changing.

Yes, rocks moved around through the years but usually not very far. This was due to natural erosion. That being said, the erosion was minimal and honestly seemed to be flattening the wash bed out, so the water was slowing down naturally. The wash bed was also meandering more so the water wasn’t rushing quite as much.

There was also a lot of wildlife that used the wash as a highway, water hole, and hunting ground. One of the reasons I liked this neighborhood and specifically this house was the proximity of the forest and the wildlife.

For years before the county’s destruction of the wash and its surrounding habitat there was a coyote that I could set my watch by. We called her the 6 am coyote and If I saw her, I was running late for work.

The lone California Poppy growing on what looks like the surface of the moon is my reminder to never trust a government agency.

San Bernardino County Flood Control promised that they were going to restore the wash to its natural state.

Originally the wash was lined with trees. There were some pine, some mountain oak, there were even a few aspen like trees. There was also a really nice trail that meandered through the trees. All of this was literally 1000 ft from the back of my home. I loved it, the dogs loved it, and hearing the owls hooting at night was comforting. My home was an oasis from the insanity of LA

All of that was destroyed by people who did not live in the area, who KNEW better than everyone actually living here. People who didn’t ask questions, and who didn’t consult history.

People who used the phrase, “We’re from the government and we’re here to help.”

They gave us more heat, more dust, a scar in the ground that looks like the surface of the moon, and a single California poppy.

It’s one of those perfect icy mornings

There’s an effect that happens when it gets super cold here.

There’s no reason that it wouldn’t happen elsewhere and perhaps it wouldn’t even require super cold temps. It’s about 24° F at the moment. I’ve only seen this when it’s below 25° F.

This effect is where the snow looks like it has rainbow fairy dust sprinkled across it. I’ve tried to capture it photographically but my cameras always miss the nuance.

Scientifically, sunlight is refracting through tiny ice crystals. Since the crystals are at random alignments relative to the observer you get little sparkles of rainbow sitting on top of the snow. It’s beautiful, and I wish I could get a picture of it from my yard to post here. Knowing what causes it doesn’t make it any less beautiful to me.

Since all of my cameras are digital I suspect that the fact that it disappears in photographs may be due to the resolution of the sensors in the cameras. I’m almost tempted to go back to good old fashioned film just to see if I can capture the effect.

I just looked on the web to see if anyone else had been lucky enough to snap of photo of this. Alas, no. There were quite a few pictures of rainbows in snow/ice storms. But none of the rainbow laying on top of the snow.

There’s something magical about seeing a rainbow sparkling across the yard as the sun comes up. The effect itself lasts only a few minutes, you can extend it a bit by changing your angle in relationship to the snow. Getting higher or crouching down a bit will allow you to see the sparkling colors. I’ve spent too much time over the years improperly dressed, shivering, and feeling joy observing this magic of nature. 

If I was primitive, I’d say the rainbow was trapped by the snow and returned to the sky as it warmed up. Like all rainbows, there isn’t really an end, so unfortunately there’s no pot of gold to find. Leprechauns must be too clever to get caught in snow and ice.

Words don’t do it justice. Nonetheless, I’ve tried to share it verbally with you as a reminder, don’t be so busy this holiday season or any season that you miss wonderful things around you all the time.