Ya Know, I’d really like to wake up when the alarm goes off.

Lately though that has not been the case.

It’s a function of it being Summer and me leaving the windows open for the evening breezes. I fall asleep listening to the crickets and wind in the trees.

I might wake up if the dog shifts position, or jumps back up on the bed after getting a drink. I fall back to sleep quickly after he settles. There’s a security seeing his silhouette on the corner of the bed. I can tell in the darkness that he’s got his noise pointed toward the open sliding door. If anything were to be bold enough to come to the screen he’d be awake, letting me know about it.

The past few days it’s not been the dog who’s waking me up. It’s other humans!

Crazy Pants has taken to blood curdling screams sometime between 5:00 and 6:30 am. One of these days someone she lives with will realize that they can choke the life out of her and no matter how much she screams no-one will think to call the cops or report anything out of the ordinary.

Yesterday she started the morning by kicking or punching one of the men living over there. I don’t know exactly what she did but I woke to a male sound that reminded me of similar sounds guys make if they’re kicked in the balls or kicked in the gut. Moments later she was screaming about how lazy and useless, blah, blah, blah. After a few minutes a strained male voice was replying. There was an escalation of the argument and increase in volume then suddenly Crazy Pants was quiet. If he choked her, I’m not sure I’d be able to testify that he was in the wrong. She was screaming again this morning so apparently he didn’t choke her to death.

This morning the trash truck showed up at 6:15 am to pick up the trash that they’d not bothered to pick up on Monday. The recycling truck came through, but the regular trash truck didn’t. They needn’t have bothered, most of us pulled our trash cans back off the street because we don’t like cleaning up after the nocturnal critters that like to get into the trash. I’m one of the few folks on this street that still has bear proof trash bins. All the new bins supplied by the trash company have no locking mechanism at all. So raccoons, and other night critters attracted by kitchen scraps, sometimes turn the cans over, spreading the contents all over the street or yards.

There’s a reason the trash company issued bear proof trash cans years ago. But that’s been forgotten by some, and the newbies to town never think about the natural wildlife potentially in the area. It’s always funny when a newbie reports seeing a coyote and the old folks (like myself) respond with “And?” We’re expecting something more than, “I saw a coyote!”

Due to the tropical storm, we’ve had heavy construction equipment working in the wash up & down the canyon. This is the second time this year. The distinctive “Beep Beep Beep” starts around 6:45 right after the large diesel engines rumble to life. They even worked Saturday and Sunday so there was no respite from living in a construction zone.

Before they did the “Wash Improvement” we never had dump trucks, bulldozers, bucket diggers, or any of that stuff up here. Now it’s a yearly event.

I miss the silence of the forest, I miss seeing all the wildlife that we used to see in this canyon before the “wash Improvement project” destroyed the water source, habitat, and local environment. The construction sounds alone seem to drive away some animals.

It might have something to do with the time of year the construction starts. I miss having owls nesting near my house. Their hooting in the night was comforting. The red tail hawks moved much higher into the mountains. I’ll still see them soaring on thermals. Sometimes I’ll hear one snatching a small rabbit up out on some nearby open flats. I used to see them hunting all the time. They make spectacular dives, falling like a stone, flaring their wings out at the last possible moment claws extending, then bam! Their prey seems to just vanish.

Even the coyotes have left the canyon. It’s been years since I’ve seen a bear.

Maybe the trash company is right, there’s no need for the security of bear proof trashcans. The habitat has been sufficiently destroyed that humans don’t encounter their distant cousins anymore.

I want to be clear. This is not about climate change. This is about a man made environmental disaster committed in the name of flood control. This is about an environmental study that was incomplete at best, or the county purchased a “Rubber Stamp” at worst. There is still water in the wash. It’s just not accessible most of the time. This is due to the widening and flattening of the wash.

Before improvement, there was a stream about two feet wide and 2 to 3 inches deep most of the year, it only dried up in late Summer. This stream was fed from further up the mountainside. Up in the heights there are collecting pools that rainfall and snow melt keep full most of the year. Water from these collecting pools made its way down the wash splashing over rocks and down small waterfalls churning and bubbling until it made it to my level. The flowing water was cold, and clear. It provided life to all manner of critter that lived in the forest. You name any animal native to this region and we had it.

Walking along the rim of the wash in the early morning or evening you’d see deer, raccoons, sometimes bear, bobcat, cougar, and a variety of birds. It was possible to observe the phenomena of “Peace at the watering hole”. All the animals needed water so it was rare to see any hunting at the water’s edge. 50 yards from the water source all bets were off!

The “improvement” widened and flattened the bottom of the wash. The water still flows from the collecting pools as it always has. The collecting pools are beyond the reach of the county because they exist on National Forest Land therefore they haven’t been “improved”. The water flows down the natural creek bed to the place where the county “improved” things, when it hits the wide flat areas, it spreads out and soaks into the soil. Much of the water evaporates and for most of the year the bottom of the wash is a mud flat, instead of a place with abundant wildlife. Insects and small mammals can capitalize on what water is present, but animals larger than rodents can’t.

Man, once again makes a desert and calls it good.

Lately we’ve had a new “wake up” feature. There’s someone up the road who may be into those stupid wanna-be drift cars. Their only claim to being a “drift car” is a straight exhaust which is unbearably loud when the vehicle is going up a 15-20° incline anytime of day. It does seem especially loud at midnight though. Unfortunately, where there’s one wanna-be “drift car” others soon follow. Now there’s that noise several times in the evening and often right up to about 2 am. I don’t know what the hell they’re doing but the same cars drive up and down the street multiple times every night.

One car in particular leaves every weekday morning at about 7:30am. It’s annoying but I’m already up by then. I’d be up by then because my alarm is set for 7:15am. Not that I ever get to hear that waking me up if I’m home.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my alarm did in fact wake me. I made this discovery while I was on a cross country trip last year. I was staying in hotels and found that they were quieter than my home. Isn’t that a kick in the pants?

These are some of the things that go through my mind when I consider moving. The noise alone is reason enough for me to leave. But that begs the question where do I go?

Pulling up stakes is one thing, the question is, “where do you go that would be different?” I don’t want to trade one set of annoying issues for another set of super annoying issues.

I’m pretty sure I know what I don’t want, I don’t know exactly what I do want yet. Come Winter, I’ll have the house closed and the noise won’t be such a big deal. Maybe then I’ll have more restful nights sleep and sleep until my alarm wakes me.

Perhaps with more restful sleep will come answers to questions about where I go from here.

THANK YOU WORDPRESS!

Thank you ever so much for breaking the API between Ulysses and your publishing mechanism in your wonderful lemon fresh update. Oh and by the way… When the hell are you going to make Tags and Categories have the same selection mechanism on the web creation page??? Or is that too freaking logical for you bozos.

Thank you for screwing me out of being able to easily create something on my iPad without having to be ONLINE. What? do you have stock in cellular data plans or something?

Thank you for forcing me to use your shitty web creation form. I know you have some BS mobile application. I dumped the app when it looked like you were wanting me to pay for something or some other service to be able to use it.

And MOST OF ALL, Thank you for flushing 4 blogposts that I’ll now have to recreate in your shitty web form.

Oh sure I can maybe copy the text from Ulysses and paste it into your web page but doing so creates a wonderful editing task where each block has to be cleaned up by hand and stripped of all of it’s formatting then reapply the formatting. I’ll probably run it through a straight text editor to flush all the markup then copy plain text into your web POS.

What’s the matter WordPress? are you miffed that more people are creating content with applications that don’t rely on your web or God forbid that crappy mobile WordPress app?

Maybe instead of getting upset that people don’t like your editing or creation interface, you should take a hint…

I’m not looking forward to dating…

Yes, I’m still a ways off from that. Nonetheless I’m not looking forward to it.

The reason is straight forward.

Statistically all gay men are Democrats. Sure, there are actually some republican gay men, and there are some conservative gay men. However their numbers are so vanishingly small as to be numerically insignificant. Therefore they don’t exist.

Given the premise that all gay men are Democrats and all Democrats are liars, it follows that all gay men are liars.

I’m sure there are gay men who are not liars, but statistically the number of honest gay men must be so close to zero, as to be functionally zero.

Since I don’t like liars, I’m expecting for dating to be pretty unpleasant.

My other half was a Democrat when we met. I was a Republican. That was back when gay men were just happy to find someone else who loved them and didn’t care about stupid crap like politics. Sure, we canceled each others votes out for years, but over time, we both moved to a more centrist view and then both left our respective political parties so we could hurl insults at Democrats and Republicans, without being hypocrites.

The process of us moving toward more centrist beliefs took many years, and honestly, it was a fun process. We both learned a lot. Mostly, we learned that we loved each other.

I doubt I have that many years ahead of me so I’m not going to engage in another long term conversion project. I have decided in general that I’m not going to date Democrats. Of course rules are made to be broken and someone who is particularly interesting could be forgiven their political insanity.

Given what I’ve seen with the dating apps & sites. I’ll Pass! I think I’ll find a bar or pub that’s comfortable when I want to be around people and other than that I’ll just live my life doing the things I want to do.

There are things I’m interested in and perhaps with a little discretion I’ll find other guys who are interested in those things too. Maybe I’ll just get some nice subtle rainbow items. (Old rainbow not that new abomination!)

Something to hang on my backpack or dive gear, small but noticeable to the discerning eye. Possibly I’ll add some swag from my political party affiliation too. I could also add some swag from the Atlas Shrugged website… That would be over most people’s heads, but some might get it.

This adornment might be off-putting to most, but to the kind of folks I’m interested in hanging out with, or knowing in the biblical sense, it might be a way of winnowing the wheat from the chaff.

Alternatively, I could simply resolve to confine my dating to nothing more than prostitutes…

“Your cash is on the counter Chad, thanks for the mediocre blowjob, now get out.”

I must admit that does seem to be more direct, more convenient, and quite possibly cheaper …

A Snarky PSA

After the various news appearances by this guy…

Representative Dan Goldman of New York

It’s become obvious that I missed another memo regarding changes to language.

Apparently, the following symbols and terms…

Have become synonymous with…

Here is the poster child for the word, LIAR. His image should be shown as a representative example.

Microsoft, you’re not the only game in town…

I had not meant to get into this today. Unfortunately there was this huge rabbit hole and I couldn’t resist.

It all started out with me making phone calls. I contacted the mortgage folks, which led to them helping me get things set up on their website. Hopefully this will make my interactions a touch easier.

This started because I was looking at my bank account and noticed over the last 2 months the mortgage payment had risen by about 100 bucks.

It turns out this rise is due to two events. One was a change in the way that tax escrow account is handled. The second is our crack feds raising the interest rates. The mortgage folks were very nice and efficient in explaining what’s going on. This is seriously different from the way they treated me when they purchased the mortgage from JP Morgan Chase.

When it came to setting up the web access, that too was efficient and gave me access to a ton of unread documents.

Then I continued the search for someone to inspect the fire suppression systems Backflow valves. This is one of those things that has always annoyed me. The Country and the Water company demand this be done, but offer no help in terms of who to call.

I’ve been striking out on this one for a week.

Anyway I logged onto the Microsoft website to downgrade my Office 365 subscription from a family plan to a personal plan.

Unfortunately, there is no way to do that from their web page. I put a call in to them. The lady who tried to help had some difficulty, (caused by me,) I still had a credit card on the account that I’d actually closed. I didn’t realize it because the number was familiar and the account closure is pretty recent.

When I realized the problem I told the lady.

She told me to enter the new card information on the Microsoft website (Which I did,) then I made the new card the primary and deleted the incorrect card.

When the lady tried to downgrade the subscription, Microsoft’s Systems started rejecting the change. This meant that I’d have to go to a higher level support person who would have to call me back.

“Okay,” I said.

A few minutes later my email chimes, and now Microsoft wants me to type my name, the last 4 digits of the card to be used, the case number and something else into a blank document which is then to be screenshotted and the screen shot is to be uploaded to Microsoft on some weird link.

WHY?

The lady calls me back but has no explanation about why we’re doing this screenshot thing. I point out that they already have the data, but apparently this is the process to speak to a higher level person.

It’s at this point that I tell the lady that I’m considering cancelling the service entirely. I point out that none of this is her fault, but it is the fault of Microsoft who if I recall correctly is a software company and should therefore be bound by rules of logic.

Further I point out that none of this would be necessary if Microsoft provided a mechanism for me (the customer,) to be able to select one each, of the two plans offered for the service I’m attempting to purchase. Instead Microsoft only allows the customer to select the plan they’ve already got.

I tell her that this shouldn’t be such a pain and that the alternative is to simply cancel the subscription, especially since I have applications that are smaller in terms of storage, which work as well or better than the Microsoft versions.

This stuns her. Poor Indian lady, (dot not feather) that she was, this must have blown her mind. The poor dear was probably in Bangalore or Delhi.

I tell her that I’m going to think about proceeding with this renewal process. I hang up the phone.

I did think about it…

I’ve canceled the subscription.

Then I thought about it further, and have deleted my Microsoft account in it’s entirety. Apparently this doesn’t include deleting LinkedIn. Hmm maybe that is next! I could do without another social media service.

During the process, Microsoft went to great lengths on their website to tell me just what all I’d be losing. Including some of the Xbox games that I may have purchased. Hmm, there’s a reason to buy a PlayStation for myself at Christmas! The upshot is I lose access to all sorts of stuff that a) I never used, and b) represent additional access points for hackers to potentially do nasty stuff.

Over the past few months I’ve been getting intermittent notifications from Microsoft saying that my Outlook account was being accessed from Moscow. Well that’s not a problem anymore! There is no Outlook account.

I’m sure that I forgot to update contact email addresses at a couple of companies but lets see if I miss whatever notifications they were sending me. I had no problem flushing ZipRecruiter though. They couldn’t handle me changing the login email address and also uploading an updated resume. Honestly, I’ve found ZipRecruiter to be completely useless.

There are a couple other businesses that I traded with who can’t handle changing the login email address. I’m weighing very carefully if I need to continue to trade with them.

Microsoft assured me that my account would be recoverable for 60 days, but they’ve already screwed around with the subscription to Office 365. The outlook mail account is throwing errors about passwords and such.

I’ve just deleted the Outlook account from my iPad and phone. I’ll check the access on the computer and if it’s screwed up too, I’ll delete it there as well. I’m kinda happy right at the moment. I can delete ALL the Microsoft related passwords from my systems without concern.

All they had to do was let me save $30 a year… But Nooooo! They had to make things annoying and difficult. So now I’ll go on without them, OR just to piss them off I’ll download the same applications from the Apple App Store, use the in app purchase model, and force Microsoft to Pay Apple!

Ain’t I a fucker?

Jeez, Microsoft, (and Apple) have gotten too big for their britches. Both of them are forgetting, or have forgotten, that they’re dependent on customer good will to survive.

Eventually, there will be enough people like me who are tired of being screwed with.