Tag: Mens Health

Posted on

It’s been a rough week!

I threw my back out last Thursday. Wow! That’s an amazing pain!

Lower Back Pain

I’ve thrown my back out before, but this time it’s a whole new level.

I was on the mend. But today, I was of all things, trimming my toenails and my entire lower back locked in a spasm.

It’s humiliating! 

I’ve been told that getting old isn’t for the weak. But since when did personal care end up on the list of hazardous activities?

Couldn’t I have done this doing something interesting? Couldn’t it have been mountain climbing, snow skiing? Lifting my SCUBA tank off a boat? Exploring all the positions of the Kama Sutra?

OH NOOOOO!

I had to do this doing something stupid, mundane, and embarrassing!

I’m sitting here in my office chair with a hot pad stretched across my low back. The office chair is at its maximum height which makes it a touch less excruciating, if I have to stand up.

I had grand plans today. I was going to take the dog on a long walk, I was going to reorganize the linen closet. Uhhh nope! Not happening today, it might not happen tomorrow.

This isn’t the only thing that’s made this a rough week. There have been reports from the East Coast that raise more concerns about family members (yes, plural) who are slipping away.

On this coast and closer to home, the other half has had a couple of issues starting last Thursday, and again yesterday. The latest resulted in spending most of yesterday in ER. It was nothing life threatening, but was concerning enough that paramedics were summoned for their professional opinion and they assisted me loading the other half into the car for the trip to ER.

Throwing my back out this morning couldn’t come at a worse time.

I share my humiliation with you gentle reader, not for sympathy. I share it so that you know you’re not alone. Sitting here having the warmth spreading through my back, I’ve realized it’s actually kind of funny. So laugh your ass off as much as you want.

Just remember, there’s a time in your future when something completely inane will sideline you. When that time comes, try to remember this post & smile.

Be well.

Posted on

Great work if you can get it…

Recently the local pharmacy informed me that a routine maintenance medication Rx had expired and that I’d have to see my dr. to get it refilled.

Great! Another expense that I didn’t need. Aside from the gas and the time that I’d be sitting in the doctor’s office I was worried about the hassle of getting blood work and all the other annoyances.

I put it off.

It’s not like I’m afraid of doctors, I just hate the inconvenience! I do a lot of self monitoring and do it with higher quality devices. If something seems amiss for a while I’ll typically “Man up” and go subject myself to the hassle of seeing a dr.

Case in point, the ripped open thumb joint of last summer. That’s 6K I needed to spend like another hole in my head.

I’ve got a bit of a cold, I don’t feel like doing too much today so I thought, “I’ll be productive and make the doctor appointment before the day gets away from me.”

Grabbing the phone and dreading the hoops I thought I was going to have to jump through I made the call.

Much to my surprise, they had a Telehealth system. Huh, I was especially surprised when the cheerful girl on the phone said the doctor could see me in half an hour and that he was running on time.

What? I can be seen in half an hour? WTF? That’s one for the record books. Where is my 1 month wait? I’m used to having to sit in a waiting room full of sick, broken people. You mean that I’m not going to have to endure that?

The world has truly gone mad!!!

Sure enough, a link shows up. I click on the link and there’s my doctor. He says he’d like to see me in person for a physical with some bloodwork in hand, whenever that’s convenient. He reminds me that it’s been over 10 years since I had a colonoscopy and that I should probably get that done.

He asks how I’ve been and what my last BP reading was. I tell him this mornings reading. He’s like that’s fine. He asks if I’m running a fever due to the cold. I tell him yes but it’s only low grade. He’s says, “Good, keep an eye on it. Take care of yourself and I’ve renewed your Rx. Call me if you need me, I’m gonna go deal with some really sick people.”

I laugh, we sign off and that was that.

I guess there’s benefit to me doing the self monitoring and having the data on hand. There is also the probability that he knows I’m pretty diligent about keeping data and know my body.

The cost was the same as a regular appointment. So it doesn’t hurt his bottom line. The advantage for him is that he isn’t exposed to a bunch of sick people clogging up his office.

I did the math. He’s knocking down about 1 grand per hour doing Telehealth appointments.

Great gig if you can get it!

I can’t complain too much. I didn’t have to drive an hour to see him for a 10 minute appointment, nor did I have to deal with masks and all the attendant BS of walking into a medical complex. Here I am, unshowered, unshaved, in my sweatpants, and I was able to take care of business from my couch.

It was painless, and convenient.

Next time… I’m taking the call in the nude and scratching my balls. I gotta have some shock value when I see a doctor!

Based on a sample of one time. I’d say if the opportunity arises give the Telehealth option a whirl.

It’s kind of an interesting take on the original house call. Back when doctors where country doctors who often saw their patients into, and out of this world.

Posted on

Well that’s better!

All systems reporting 95%.

Fever has abated, coughing diminished to small little bouts every couple of hours instead of every couple of minutes. Appetite returning (Got a real hankering for steak!) Intestinal discomfort (don’t ask!) has resolved. Sinuses are clearing. Both knees are showing good. There’s still a little twinge in the left knee signaling caution but it seems that those repairs are mostly complete.

All that’s left is this weird patchy sensitivity on some parts of my skin. The feeling is like a cross between an itch / burning sensation where clothing touches.

If this were Summer I’d be running around naked, or hanging outside in shorts absorbing sunlight, alas it’s too cold for that right now. Nonetheless, the sensation is diminishing as the hours go by.

My head is clearing too. For the past couple of days my thinking has been muddy and I’ve been easily annoyed. Oddly, even technology has been annoying. That’s unusual for me. If I’m ill, technology is my goto. I suppose it allows me to get out of my body and focus on something else.

Whatever this bug was, it muddied my thought processes enough that I couldn’t effectively communicate with tech.

Whether this was a cold or the dreaded and always fatal Omicron, (sarcasm intended!) My immune response has adapted and destroyed the invader. Much like human immune systems have been doing automatically for millions of years.

No matter how you slice it, our bodies are marvels.

I wasn’t gifted with beauty, or height, but apparently I was gifted with durability. 60+ years later and this body keeps on kicking with relatively low maintenance. I’ll take the durability, beauty is so fleeting…

Given my German ancestry I guess I’ve got the VW body. Side note: The older I get, the more finicky my body is getting about fuel and other stuff so now I’m probably less VW, and more BWM or Mercedes.

The other half is still trying to cough up a lung and is, I think, simultaneously relieved that I’m back on-line and jealous that I bounce back pretty fast. They are not so fortunate.

Now in typical fashion, I’m ravenous. Time to go raid the fridge and replenish all the raw materials that I burned fighting this, (whatever it was) off.

My constant nursemaid (the dog) needs some loving attention too. He’s been sleeping close to me and gently checking on me every hour or two in typical dog fashion.

I’d get both my ears sniffed and a lick on the nose. Then he’d lay down again. Every once in a while I’d wake to find a favored toy laid on my chest. I don’t think he was trying to get me to play, I think he was trying to make me feel better the only way he knew how.

The other half says that the dog has been splitting his time between us. I only knew that every time I woke up the dog was there watching me.

An alternative explanation could be that I’ve been on the couch. He might simply have been wondering why I was in his spot. I choose to believe he cared about the pack being sick.

I’m going to get something to eat, then we’re going out in the back yard to play. I’m also going to take the opportunity to do poo patrol. The dog seems to like supervising that activity.

There is an unproven but highly documented, anecdotal, theory in medicine stating attitude and belief sometimes can have as much positive effect as all the drugs in the world. I’d add the dog kisses and nuzzles are just as beneficial.

Posted on

Yet more home repairs

I’m sharing this for no other reason than to remind all Men,

“You’re not alone brother!”

My morning started out pretty normal. I got up, had a cup of coffee or two. Looked at my ToDO list and started working.

First up, was completion of some edits on and troubleshooting a website. Problems with this site had befuddled me for a couple of days, and this morning I decided to hit it like Spartacus!

Magically, the problems I’d been having melted before my awesomeness! “That was easy,” I said. Then moved onto the next thing on the list with confidence.

Perhaps I was too cocky.

The rest of the morning unfolded as follows;

I began by cleaning the gutters, The back gutter was a solid mess. Pine needles and about a quarter of an inch of dirt filled the entire 40 foot length of the rear gutter.

I was amazed that it wasn’t simply over-flowing when it rained. Using a ladder on the deck, I was able to remove the pile of pine needles. This process was annoyingly slow but simple manual labor. Grab the pine needles by hand toss them into the yard, move ladder to the next section. Repeat as needed. I finished by flushing the dirt out with a high pressure spray of water from the hose and bingo, the rear gutter was clean.

With even more self assuredness I moved to the front gutter. Oddly, it wasn’t nearly as blocked up as the rear, and it is overflowing when it rains. The front gutter is problematic to clean because unlike the back one, there is only a short deck to work from in the front of the house.

Using my handy dandy fiberglass poles and a little creativity with a bit of metal I fashioned a two bladed hook that allowed me to hook the pine needles and other plant debris raking it toward me. I didn’t have to move the ladder which was a good thing because there’s no place to move it to.

Due to the slope of the yard, one end of the front gutter is 20 feet off the ground and I don’t have a 25 foot ladder. After all, I’d only use it once a year.

Debris removed, I grabbed the hose attached to the front hose bib. The intention was to rinse the dirt and small bits of loose debris from the gutter, as I had done in back. Hose deployed and unkinked, I walk down stairs to turn the water on full blast. I run back upstairs climb the ladder and direct the spray nozzle into the gutter rinsing the detritus from the bottom.

It is approximately at this point that two problems become apparent.

Problem 1 is that the water is not exiting the gutter as anticipated.

Problem 2 is that I hear water running even when the spray nozzle is in the off position. I’d noticed that the water pressure wasn’t quite as high as I’d experienced in the back but thought little of this rather obvious clue.

I’m curious why I still hear water running.

I head down stairs and had 2 inches of one stair break off as I stepped on it, and damn near sent me down the rest of the flight, face first.

Priorities dictated that I find the source of the water sound, before dealing with the broken stair, other than swearing loudly, and profusely, as I caught myself.

Ladies, we guys don’t always get hurt doing something stupid. Sometimes we get hurt because we’re trying to make sure that things are maintained and safe for our families. It just happens that in that process we’re the ones who find cleverly covered up broken, or ignored things. My Dad had a knack for finding the one live wire in a bundle of “rat fucked” wires that one of us kids had tried to fix before being distracted by something shiny in the yard. It was a miracle that nothing caught fire, and my Dad wasn’t electrocuted during my childhood.

Once safely down the stairs, I notice that the sound of running water is louder, but it is not coming as expected from the hose fitting. I head into the basement to discover a quarter to half an inch of water pooled directly under the pipe leading to the hose bib on the exterior wall.

Being thankful for my foresight 8 years ago, I grabbed the nifty ball valve on the water line to the hose bib that I usually only use in preparation for Winter, and shut off the water to the bib without having to kill the water to the entire house.

Okay, now the water problem is managed.

I head back up to the deck pausing to check that the offending stair will not crumble under my weight and back up the ladder to see what’s going on with the gutter. It is still full of water. Great! My front gutter downspout is clogged and I don’t have a ladder tall enough to allow me direct access.

In an attempt to remedy the clog, I began disassembling the segments of the downspout hoping to be able to snake the clog with what I had on hand. A.K.A. my handy dandy fiberglass poles.

Unfortunately, during this process I discover another problem. The clutch on my drill is broken and I can barely unscrew the screws holding the downspout in place without the drill slipping. I question if I can drive a sheet metal screw back through the retaining straps when I’m done clearing the drain spout. However, I’m in it now, and going for the gold, I will finish this one task!

(You know, some days you get the bull and other days you get the horn. You can surmise which I got.)

The fiberglass poles are not able to make the sharp turns leading to the clog, (which appears to be, in or beyond the last “S” leading to the short straight section connected to the gutter itself. Of Course! The clog couldn’t be in any of the sections that I can access, it’s just out of reach, (kinda like my dating life!)

I’m able to reassemble the gutter and get it strapped back to the side of the house. Broken drill notwithstanding.

I am curious about why the drill is broken, and why there is a suspicious big white scuff mark on one side of it indicating that it may have been dropped from a height.

I briefly think about beginning a grand inquisition as to who was using my drill, and how it came to be damaged since the last time I had need of it. I do not recall dropping the machine, but it was at least put back in it’s case where it belonged so that is progress in the right direction.

Nah, there shall be no inquisition today. I just have a great excuse to go pick up that sweet Ryobi set I’ve been wanting. I’ll count it as a win!

With the drill broken, I can’t repair the stairs. The plumber will be here in an hour or so, to replace the broken section of pipe.

In the mean time I’m having a coke. I’ve been at my home repair follies for over 3 hours. I’ll have another shower, then go to Home-Depot to see if I can get a suitable drain snake and a new drill / impact driver set.

Other that that Mrs. Lincoln… How was the Play?

See? Now you can laugh your ass off! Misery loves company doesn’t it?