Tag: Men

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Now for something different.

I’ve been looking at wallets.

The one I have been using for 10 – 12 years is still more or less in good shape.

It’s a bit of a traditional wallet style that I’ve been finding more uncomfortable to sit on.

I started looking at a variety of wallets, some traditional, and some of the new non-traditional versions. 

My previous leather wallet was made by BelRoy and it’s a great wallet.

Unfortunately, they’re not making that version anymore, or anything like it.

After searching and mulling it over for months, I noticed I kept coming back to the Ridge wallets. 

www.ridge.com

For the record, I’ve not been paid, or compensated in any way by them.

I ordered one of their RFID blocking wallets in “Burnt Damascus”.

They upsold me with a Valentines day special, to their “daily driver kit”, which includes their key case.

I thought okay, why the heck not? I’m worth it. At check out they made me a great deal on a pen.

Awww, why the hell not? This is my Valentines present to myself.

To this order I added their AirTag Holders for both the wallet and the key case.

I’m not going to go through all the florid unpacking details.

The packaging is nice, direct, and sturdy.

In the wallet box are spare screws, a fairly decent Torx T-5 screwdriver and two replacement elastic straps.

One strap is used to keep tension on the plates that hold credit cards. The other strap is to act as a money strap, holding a small selection of bills.

In the wallet AirTag holder box, in addition to the AirTag holder, is a screwdriver, a couple of extra screws and two more replacement elastic straps.

In the Pen box, is just the pen.

In the key case box there is the key case, a flat bladed tool to open the case, two metal rings, (typical spiral loops) one large, one small. 

The AirTag holder for the key case is just flexible plastic, requiring no tools but also comes with the two metal rings.

From a presentation standpoint the packaging is really nice. It appeals to my sense of aesthetics.

So, here’s where we are, 3 days after getting the package. 

First, I like the wallet. It’s solid. The Damascus is a simulation of Damascus steel and it’s got texture. I like that because since my wallet lives in my front pocket now, it’s nice to have something to grip.

I wasn’t sure I would like the wallet. It’s a very radical departure from what I’ve carried all my life. I thought I’d be testing out their return policy. Oh, about their return policy, it’s very generous and impacted my purchasing decision.

I did not however, like the AirTag attached to the wallet.

This is not a problem with Ridge, the build quality of the wallet and the AirTag holder is good. They both have heft and the metals are solid.

The problem was that I wanted a thinner wallet and the AirTag adds thickness that defeated my goal in getting a new wallet..

I went back to the original wallet design. I’m planning to purchase a different device that is shaped like a credit card and supports Apple’s FindMy functionality. Due to the shape it will not significantly increase the thickness of the wallet. 

The thing I really like is that the wallet is clean, simple, and fits easily in my front pocket.

The key case is also nicely built, but a touch awkward with my front door key. The awkwardness is that the key is not round, or hexagonal in shape. The door key is this weird trapezoid shape.

That being said, it’s nice to have the keys all contained and silent. The containment is accomplished with a simple compression plate made of spring steel. 

The key case is not suitable for keys like the larger car key fobs common with BMW, Lexus, Jaguar, Mercedes, and others.

It’s only going to hold onto the traditional flat keys like house keys. The picture shows the scale of my car key with the key case. 

There is a pocket clip on the back of the key case. I found that I don’t like it. The bent end is somewhat sharp, and getting in & out of the car that clip catches on the seat.

It could scratch leather or possibly tear your seat getting in or out of the vehicle. Since I had the handy T-5 I removed the clip. In doing so I discovered that the clip was secured in place by the spring clip that holds the keys in place. It only took a moment to fix.

I added the carabiner to tie everything together for the moment, I’m probably going to be revisiting the arrangement several times over the next few weeks.

Thus far I’m pleased. This has forced me to carry only what I need, and I expect that as time goes on, I’ll be thinning it out even more.

Why the change?

Part of this came about after using Apple’s MagSafe wallet.

I found that I didn’t need to always carry a big lump in my back pocket.

The problem with the MagSafe wallet was its 3 card limit. I also didn’t like having to remove it from the phone to access the cards. They say 3 credit cards. That’s BS it’s 2 cards because one slot is taken by your ID.

So my combo when using the Apple MagSafe wallet was ID, Debit Card, & Credit Card. Then I was off to have drinks with friends.

Since most credit card purchases can be accomplished using tap to pay, from the Apple digital Wallet in my phone or from my watch,  I don’t need to carry a wad of credit or debit cards. The exception seems to be gas pumps. In my area they almost never have the tap to pay system operational.

My proof of insurance cards, also live in the Apple wallet, so I don’t need to carry them either.

I like having cash on me. It doesn’t have to be much, but it’s a little security blanket. In that regard, the Apple MagSafe wallet wasn’t cutting it.

Originally I was looking for a MagSafe compatible wallet from another vendor than Apple. That led me down several unproductive rabbit holes. Ridge makes a few MagSafe compatible wallets but none of the available colors struck my fancy.

Eventually, I thought maybe MagSafe wasn’t that big an issue. I use wireless charging so I’d have to take the wallet off to use wireless charging or MagSafe mounting. 

The more I thought about it, the more I concluded that a straight up wallet was probably better. I can grab the phone, wallet, and keys, on my way out the door. 

The pen is great. It’s simple, well balanced, a bit thicker than some of my other pens and is comfortable to write with. It uses a standard Parker refill so when I need to replace the cartridge it’s not going to be a hassle. 

Parker cartridges are easy to find in a variety colors, and fine, or medium line thicknesses. 

For comparison, pen is what Ridge calls “Burnt Titanium” it’s more of a matte finish. I was strongly considering the Wallet, and Key Case in this color.

The “Burnt Damascus” is a little more shiny and reflective than I thought it would be. But I like it.

So here’s some closing thoughts.

I feel like Ridge has designed these products to be customized. You can mix & match, add & remove features and attachments easily. 

It’s like they send you the basic model and invite you to make it your own. 

I’m still fiddling but I’m mostly comfortable with what I’ve gotten to now. 

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Yesterday was pretty good.

I’ve been bordering on being blue for the past few days. 

I don’t really know what’s causing the problem but I’ve been thinking a lot about Jerry, our life together, acknowledging that I was happy and feeling sad about missing him and the goofy life we made.

I was tossing a bunch of little things that were junk when Jerry put them into the junk drawer and they were still junk when I pulled them out of the junk drawer. That man couldn’t throw anything away!

Spring_flowers_2015_longwood_cr_Longwood Gardens L Albee.(I smiled as I typed that.)

Then a wave of sadness washed over me. The dog had been walked, but I felt like I needed to step outside. The sun was warm, the breeze pleasant, and as I looked over the back yard I noticed weeds had sprung up with a vengeance.

I went down stairs with the intent to just do poo patrol. Once I’d completed that chore, I thought, “Might as well do the weed whacking too.”

That felt good. I took all the weeds down to nubs, Then I did the patch of grass & weeds between my fence and the next door neighbor. During one of the winter storms, some limbs had broken off of one of his trees and were laying in the way. I moved them, then cut the weeds which had been growing under the limbs. The battery on the weed whacker died just as I finished the last pass against the fence.

“Great Timing,” I thought as I put the weed whacker away. Slipping the battery into the charger I noticed it was the bigger battery that came with my chainsaw.

This led to checking the oil in the chainsaw, and since I was holding the saw, I grabbed a charged battery pack, shrugged and headed out of the garage. Happily I went out to the side of the house where the limbs lay and started cutting them into small manageable pieces. 

From the winter damage I’ve seen on the tree that lost these limbs, I’m not sure it will survive. That’s sad because it’s a beautiful tree. Similarly, the butterfly bush in front of my house is looking pretty shabby too. I’m hoping it will recover but I’m not holding my breath.

The singing of my chainsaw blade made me happy. I’d noticed some of my neighbor’s Mountain Lilacs were overgrowing the power pole we share. So before he gets an abatement ticket or worse, Edison “Helps’ by butchering the plants, I started pruning.

Well, I had the chainsaw in my hand…  

I cleaned up all the trimmings, came inside covered in sawdust and debris from weed whacking, and asked Jerry if there was anything else I should do before I cleaned up.

Yeah…

My heart stopped for a second. In that breathless moment I figured out part of the blues I’d been feeling.

You see, I always did the outside work.

I can run the snow thrower and always could. In winters, Jerry wanted to help and contribute. But Jerry had shitty balance, doubly so on ice, so we agreed that he ran the snow thrower. I was pleased with this arrangement because while he was holding onto the machine, the odds of a fall were greatly reduced.

When It came to yard work, trimming, digging, planting, painting, and that kind of stuff. I did the work, Jerry supervised. He made sure that I was staying hydrated, and wasn’t out in the sun for too long.

Jerry told me enjoyed watching me working in the yard. He said I looked hot, and he liked my confident strut and my confidence while using the tools.

At the time, I’d never thought that I could be hot looking doing chores. For me, it was just chores. Other guys, looked hot doing construction, or farming, or whatever. I never thought about myself that way, but I was happy knowing I was good enough for him.

I suppose what I’d been secretly dreading was this “first” spring.

Last year, I was just going through the motions still “numb” from his passing.

This year, I’m getting back to something like “normal” and those normal things remind me what’s missing.

One “missing” ritual is this. In the first days of Spring, We’d have discussions about planting spring flowers, or changes in the yard, and trimming of various shrubs and trees. Sometimes there wasn’t much discussion, Jerry would come home with flats of flowers and ask me to plant them. I’d do it because I enjoyed the work and because the flowers made him smile.

It’s that time of year and probably why there was a bit of a sting yesterday. This is a part of the healing process. It’s just going to take time.

The good news is that being outside and doing the usual, normal work felt really good. There’s more to do, but I wanted to see what my arms and shoulders felt like before using the pole saw on some Cottonwood trees that are spindly and overhanging my fence line.

The other good news is that I’m not blue today, it seems a little yard work was all it took to make the blues disappear.

Maybe I’ll go look at some flowers up at the hardware store.

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Obviously MEN are better at everything!

Men are better at Sports. We’re better at women’s and men’s sports hands down.

Men are winning Women of the year awards and all we have to do is what we already do best. Dress like a woman and apply makeup better than women do. I’ll admit the tuck and duct tape might be a bit uncomfortable but hey we’re better at dealing with pain too.

Men are stronger, better cooks, painters, drivers, clothing designers, and shoes designers too, (Think Jimmy Cho)!

Men are better at war, science, healing, diplomacy, computer science, and really anything you can name. Obviously, men should be paid more than women!

Most of us can write our initials (some of us our whole names,) in piss, on walls and in sand or snow. How many women can do that? Women don’t think that’s cool, but lots of proud CIS men think it’s cool.

Once artificial wombs are working we’ll be better at reproduction too. Why? Because we have X and Y chromosomes. In the event that women ever become necessary again we have the ability to make them.

Why bother? Women are bad at everything.

Remember that God originally built only Adam. Adam was lonely so God built Eve from Adams rib. If God had built Steve instead of Eve, then perhaps the whole mess with the tree of knowledge and the serpent could have been avoided.

Wake UP PEOPLE!

This is the kind of stupid crap that we were supposed to have eradicated 30 years ago. Yet here we are again. What’s next? Will we force women back into the kitchen to be barefoot and pregnant?

Come on! Stop acting like men dressing like women and taking awards away from Ladies who worked their asses off for them is okay.

This shit isn’t right and we all know it. Stop being afraid to call it out.

If something isn’t right and it’s obviously hurting a select group, aren’t we supposed to speak up and fix the problem? The problem here is asshole men who want 5 minutes in the spotlight because they couldn’t rank against other men, so they beat the shit out of Women in sports and other awards.

Oh, Ladies, the men who stand up against this dumb assed shit, will really need your help and guidance… You know sometimes we’re like bulls in china shops. We need a soft hand on the shoulder with a soft kind voice, letting us know when it’s time to stop.

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Just because I’m a nice guy…

Doesn’t mean that I want to be drawn into your bullshit.

Especially if you don’t have the balls to directly ask me what you want.

I think I’m going to have a T-Shirt made!

I’m basically a nice guy. I can be an asshole, but to be honest that’s a defensive screen because so many people want to take advantage of any nice people they meet.

Being nice is perceived by some, sadly too many, as inherently weak and easily manipulated. So a lot of nice people cloak themselves in the mantle of being an asshole. If we didn’t, we’d be manipulated into doing shit that we don’t want to do, or indeed didn’t have the time to do for other people all our lives.

I can tell you this from bitter experience, once someone gets their hooks into you and figures out that they can manipulate you they will never stop. They’ll be a fucking parasite until you’ve got nothing left to give them or you actively burn them out of your life.

I have a lot of respect for people who can say “No” without guilt, fear, or remorse.

I have a hard time saying “No” because growing up I was conditioned to please EVERYONE! Instead of breaking that conditioning which was built from the damn cradle onward, I created the asshole cloak. My problem is that sometimes I leave the house without it.

An interesting case in point was Saturday.

I had a very disturbing call with my Mother. The call was beyond disturbing it was very upsetting. (No one can push your buttons like your Mother!) Normally, when I get this kind of upset, I do something physical to dissipate the hurt and anger before it turns in on me and causes further damage.

This is how we came to have a drip irrigation system at our house prior to the place burning. It’s a serious challenge to dig any kind of hole where I live. One day, The Other Half and I had a throw down of an argument. I grabbed my handy trenching tool and proceeded to dig all the trenches necessary to bury the drip lines. When he stepped out onto the deck with a tall glass of ice tea and told me to come and drink something I took it as him apologizing. He wasn’t… He was just worried that I’d work myself to heat stroke. Later he told me he kept thinking, “That dumbass will come in soon, he’s been out there working in that heat for six solid hours with no food and no water.” He only fixed me a glass of iced tea when he realized I was fixated on what I was doing.

From then on, he’d keep an eye on me. He realized that day that I was very stubborn and if I was completely engaged in doing something, I would literally forget basic stuff. This was especially true if I was working off anger, frustration, or sadness. He wasn’t so worried about me in the Winter time but Summer always made him nervous.

Anyhow, I’d had this phone call with my Mother. I pulled on my boots, grabbed my yard tool, and got to cutting and trimming. Trouble was, I ran out of plants to mangle before I ran out of anger. I switched from the chainsaw to the weed whacker and discovered there wasn’t anything tall enough in my yard to trim down.

Then I remembered that my next door neighbor had been out in Palm Springs looking after a sick friend. I marched over to his yard. Surely, there must be something that needs cutting! No Joy! Nothing had grown since the last time I trimmed his place. (I took care of his yard before the weed abatement people could ticket him.)

Now I’m getting frustrated about not being able to vent my frustration!

Hmmm. The new guy… he’s going through a divorce. He’s been spending time with his kids and doesn’t have any of his stuff with him. He’s only living there for 6 months… And he’s gone for the afternoon with his Son.

His rental yard is ripe for the trimming…

So I get to work. My anger and frustration flowing out of me as I focus on trimming the weeds. I’m happy in my own world mowing down thicket after thicket. I’ve moved to the area where he parks and have just about completed it when I hear my name.

FUCK!

It’s the neighbor that lives next to Crazy Pants. The guy who NEVER says what he means. Who never just asks for what he wants, instead it’s always a long drawn out convoluted miasma of words and randomized ideas. I sometimes find dealing with him excruciating. And in my current state… I’m in no fucking mood!

But then, he hits me with a question that makes me concerned that he’s losing his mind just like my Mother. He asks if I’m the property owner of the rental air B&B. He knows that I’m not. When I tell him, “No,” he asks me if I have a key to the place. Uh, “No!”

Suddenly I flash forward to where this conversation is going because this conversation is like 10 other “conversations” before.

He’s going to bitch about the exterior lights being left on and since he sleeps in his living room how these lights bother him and disrupt his sleep. YAWN! NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM!

But he wants to make it my problem. He wants me to talk to whoever and make them turn out the lights. He seems to expect me to be interested or concerned or frankly give a damn.

In the back of my mind I’m thinking, “Get off your ass, put down the fucking bong, and deal with your own shit.” He’s still droning on and on about how tough it is for him sleep and how put upon these lights are making him feel, no-one understands how difficult… blah, blah, blah.

I’m at the end of the conversation while he’s still droning on. And I’m getting really angry about it. I put my brain in neutral. Why does this guy think I, or anyone else for that matter care? Can he not see that I’m hot and sweaty and his puerile issue with the lights is of zero concern to me, I just want to get back to burning off angry energy which he’s actively refueling.

I cut off the remaining 45 minutes of his bitching and complaining, “You know man, both of the lights shine into my house too. We’ve discussed this before. The folks are renters and probably haven’t figured out what switches do what yet. When it was an Air B&B those renters always left the lights on. Having a permanent renter is better than an Air B&B here.”

He blinked, “Both Lights????”

I pretty much growled, “Uh yeah, the porch light and the deck light both shine into my house. I use this new thing they call a shade.”

The whine of the weed whacker motor drowned out whatever reply he might have made. Then I realized part of what had made me so angry. For all his whingeing and blathering on about his interrupted sleep, not once did he ask me directly to speak to someone on his behalf, he just assumed that because I’m a nice guy he can delegate his shit to me.

Now I’m really pissed off. How about this motherfucker asking himself, or me what’s up? Not once in 30+ years of living here have I gone unbidden into someone else yard to clear weeds. Clearly I’m exhibiting odd behavior.

I popped open the gate to the rest of the rental’s yard.

The weeds in that yard now know the meaning of Vengeful! The weeds on an odd small patch of land at the end of my street also learned the term.

The battery died just as I finished the little patch.

My anger and rage had abated significantly, but embers still remain.

I’m going to be really screwed the next time my Mother calls.

OH LOOK! There she is now.

Maybe I really need that belt sander I’ve been looking at. There’s some painting to be done around here. Perhaps that nice compound mitre saw too.

Sigh, “Hello Mom. No, we spoke yesterday. Yes we did, I’m sorry you don’t remember. No, I’m not lying to you…”

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Bidenomics Is working!

I was in the barbershop and somehow I’d missed that The President had actually used the term. The solemn newscaster was trying very hard to talk Bidenomics up but was having a hard time reading his script. I’d bet that newscaster will be working for one of the conservative outlets soon or he’ll blow his brains out. Cognitive Dissonance is a real bitch for any honest person to maintain, eventually they’ll snap one way or another.

Up to this point I’d thought the term was pure sarcasm from Conservatives. When I found out it wasn’t satire or sarcasm I about fell out of the barbers chair.

My Barber grumbled about how tough his finances had become.

His rates are a bit higher than the chain haircut places. I’ll pay the price to be in a male space where I can have a straight razor shave and not smell the stench of hair chemicals. I have him line up my beard with a straight razor and I get a good hair cut and beard trim / shaping.

Yes, it’s more expensive than the chains, but it’s a monthly ritual where I get value for the dollar, and it makes me feel good about myself.

All that being said, not everyone understands the value or has the cash to partake of it. (Technically I don’t have the cash but I’ll eat ramen and hotdogs a couple nights a week for a month to be able to afford doing something nice for myself, egg salad sandwiches are inexpensive to make despite the cost of eggs these days. I’m not wealthy enough to contemplate a luxury item like tuna or cat food.)

If I had a family to feed or a shit paying job that I had to commute to, then I might make a different choice. Apparently, a lot of my barber’s clients have been forced to make a different choice.

Whether the families are going to the chains or Mom is cutting everyone’s hair is unknown, but business is down.

I’ve seen other evidence of business being down too. The last couple of Costco’s I’ve been in were crowded, but not as crowded as pre-covid & Biden. Even my Home Depot isn’t as busy as it was in 2019 and 2020. Either everyone got their projects done or don’t have the time (due to a second job,) and/or money to do those projects anymore. I’ve noticed in both stores that there are still empty shelves. The pet store is very often out of the large size treats for my dog. I’ve taken to looking for the big sizes in every store I shop in.

The Barber grumbled, “If this is his idea of working, we’re screwed!”

I replied, “But it is working, and it’s beautiful.”

Point of interest… It can be scary making a provocative comment to a Barber while he is holding a razor to your throat. Think Sweeney Todd!

I continued, “Every single thing the Biden administration has done since seizing power has been to degrade, destroy, reverse, or otherwise undo any of the prosperity of the Trump years. Literally the Biden Administration has reversed even those policies that were working effectively, and in so doing has created chaos. They haven’t cared that killing working policies has damaged their administration, or that the President’s approval rating is the lowest of any President in decades. The administration has consistently gone about erasing or expunging all traces of Trump, and they’ve done so with a single minded fervor that rivals Chairman Mao’s purges. I don’t personally want Trump as president again. But I can’t have any respect for an administration that cancels working policies simply because of whose name is on those policies. When I think about it The Biden Administration seems to have elements of a proto-dictatorship. They’re not quite there, but give them another 4 years and they’ll probably find a way to move closer to dictatorship. Remember some countries suspend elections during declared national emergencies, be it military, natural disaster, or financial difficulties…”

My Barber went back to straightening the beard line at my throat, “Okay, I’m following you there but how is Bidenomics working?”

I smiled and waited for him to stand up with the blade away from my throat, “That’s simple, Bidenomics is demonstrably working. Your proof is many people in the country, maybe half, specifically those who are traditionally conservative and work for a living in flyover states are suffering. This is clearly punishment from the Democratic Party for America’s rebellious voting in 2016, when everyone was supposed to vote for Hillary. Bidenomics is working exactly as designed. It was supposed to destroy the economy, increase financial stress across the board, create a greater divide between the ‘Haves and Have Nots’, screw up retirement for boomers, and keep people angry and polarized. All of this potential strife must be in place before the 2024 election. That way, if by some chance, a Republican who is not under full control of the political machine in Washington is elected, rioting can commence instantly. The administration having Joe Biden claim Bidenomics is working is quite possibly the only true thing said in the White House during this administration.”

“I don’t know if I believe your assessment. I do think you’re one of the scariest people I know. Your ability to think in such a diabolical and evil way is terrifying. Here, have a beer,” my Barber said opening a brew.

“Thank you, I’m an amateur. The truly terrifying people are those who live this shit 24/7 in Washington DC. They’re called the United States Government.”

At which point we both had a good laugh.

My Barber went back to his work on my beard, and the conversation turned toward wondering if our sexual escapades of the past would come to haunt us in the future.

The question, “Have you ever wondered if your aggressive sex from years ago might be considered sexual abuse or even rape by todays standards,” led to another fun conversation that could only be had in a safe male space.

Have a good weekend!