Tag: Male

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Why the hell is the gender of your sex partner so damn important?

It’s one of those things that I’ve been pondering lately.

It’s pretty much universal that all humans want to get off. We’re wired to seek out the neurological overload and subsequent endorphin release of an orgasm.

Most of us at some point in our early adolescence figure out;

a) That feels nice

b) That feels really nice!

c) OH MY GOD I’m dying… I’ve broken something… are these convulsions going to kill me? What will my mother say when she finds me like this?

d) Hmmm, I wonder if I can do that again!

Embracing

Then we’re all off and running. We’re trying to see what happens when we combine parts. When we do finally manage to combine our parts we find a whole new world of endorphin rush, and hopefully though not guaranteed, the comfort of loving human touch.

Some of us have funny memories about our first sexual encounter. Sadly some of us have memories of that first time being violent and wrong.

Most of us are clumsy, & awkward, the first few times, and yet somehow even in the “loss of innocence” there is a wonderful innocence in discovery.

Several times in my life I’ve been honored to have been asked questions by virgins of both genders. I’ve always said to these people;

“Make a good and happy memory. It’s a memory that you will carry with you for the rest of your life and it’s worth taking the time to make it a good one.”

I’m also a believer in something Xavier Hollander said many years ago. “If you have to be high, or drunk to have sex… you’re not ready to have sex.”

Thing is… In our humanness we all have common ground. Gender is secondary to humanness or so I’ve always believed.

I’ve personally had loads of sexual fun with both genders. I’ve been privileged to show more than one curious straight man what sex between men is like.

To me the willingness of the person and my emotional attachment to them is top priority, we’ll figure out how to make our parts fit and get off in the bedroom behind closed doors.

When we’re done we’ll both have smiles on our faces and hopefully be better friends…

Sometimes the intimacy is a simple touch, or listening. At the other end of the spectrum it’s the deep intimacy of sex. However giving pleasure and comfort in whatever form is really nothing more than an expression of how much you care about someone.

Isn’t that really what it’s supposed to be about?

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Sometimes you can’t just “Walk it off”

For the past couple of months I’ve been having problems with my sinuses. I was annoyed and thought that I’d had 3 minor colds over the past four months.

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Like most guys I ignored it. I’d apparently get over the cold and be good for a few weeks then have a new minor cold again. These bouts were irritating and I was thinking “Wow, getting old is a stone bitch.” I’d begun to wonder if a cold a month was what I had to look forward to for the rest of my life.

Then about 2 weeks ago I developed yet another cold. This one however was different. I was coughing and hacking, my throat was swollen, I was sleeping sitting up and my sinuses were completely shut. If you’d held a hand over my mouth I’d have suffocated.

I was thinking, “OK, the previous colds have just run me down, now this one and all the pollen in the air has just combined to form a perfect storm”. Well After a week of getting a little better during the day then not sleeping at night… then a particularly rough night of coughing and hacking (I could get maybe one or two breaths between coughing bouts) I finally called my Doctor.

I described the symptoms including nose bleeds and colors of sinus discharges (who knew greenish yellow was bad?). The receptionist relayed the information to the Doc and he phoned in RXs to my local pharmacy.

After two and a half days on the meds I’m feeling pretty darn good. Most of all I’m sleeping… a lot! Tuesday & Wednesday escaped me. I happily napped and slept deeply both days and nights.

I really ought to pay more attention… My first clue that I was really sick should have been that I hadn’t been interested in sex for over a week. That’s sex of any kind… alone, with someone, naughty videos, nothing. I think the new rule is going to be if I’m not interested in sex… Call the Doctor stat!

I’m actually happy that the pollen and everything else brought this to a head. I’m planning some Summer trips and feeling crappy while you’re supposed to be enjoying yourself is never fun.

One friend described me as the Black Knight from Monty Pythons Holy Grail “It’s just a flesh wound“.

I’m antsy now. There are so many things that need to be done in the yard. The grass / weeds combination is out of control. I’m itching to get the weed whacker and go to town. There are a lot of little projects that I wanted to be done with already.

I suspect that’s how I’ve had a low grade infection for months on end… I’d start to feel better and then overdo it. So I’m going to relax… rest, watch TV maybe even a naughty film or two and wait for my body to finish the repairs.

There’s time enough to do the projects and those that don’t get done… well maybe they just didn’t need doing.

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Off to the OC this morning

Getting ready to head to the OC. 

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Going to help a friend out with some stuff at his place.

He’s getting ready to enter remodel hell and I’ve already changed the sheets on the guest bed in preparation for him saying “fuck this shit”  and bailing to my place for the duration.

After going through the building of this house where we were starting from scratch, I can only imagine the hell my friend is in for.

Contractors not showing up when they say they’re going to.

Problems at other jobs holding up the completion of his remodel

Mistakes being made that the contractor is reluctant to correct even though the mistake was theirs.

Workmen tromping through the house in the early morning when you’ve had a rough night

and the dust, smells, and people yelling for this or that.

Then there’s the fact that at his place there is limited parking, and his home cascades down a hillside. The remodel is taking place on the entry level of the home so there’s not going to be any way for him to avoid the work areas.

And lets not forget… you really don’t want to be running the A/C with all the drywall dust in the air.

My friend is smart though, he’s heading out of the country for a month, leaving his other half to deal with all the chaos. I think he’s hoping that most of this will be complete by the time he returns.

Uhhh dude hate to burst your bubble. They’re contractors, they’ll make a big mess then not show up for 2 weeks then other delays  will push your completion date out at least 6 weeks. Oh and don’t expect to have much of that front garden left when you come home.

Just sayin…

Now that I’ve been a ray of sunshine… I’m heading for the shower.

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Always Been a fan of the movie Dogma

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If you haven’t seen the movie it’s well worth your time.

There are a lot of pious religious folks that really hated the movie because they didn’t like it’s portrayal of the church, angels, and it’s generally irreverent take on God.

Personally, I suspect that God was sitting in the audience laughing right along with the rest of us.

I bring this whole thing up because I’ve been really ill with a cold / sinus / allergy? thing for going on 7 days. God created the world in 7 days… I’m done with feeling lousy!

As I was sitting in my favorite chair last night flipping aimlessly through TV channels all I could think was “When is this going to end?”

Which led me to Alan Rickmans line “It never ends” as he’s wiping the blood off his jacket with the hem of Gods clothes.

Strange what you think about at 3 am when you realize that your body is putting up a good fight. In the process the bug that you’ve caught is finding all new ways to inflict pain. Then you realize that  the bug in question hasn’t any clue whatsoever that it’s making you want to stick you head in a microwave.

Who knew that your teeth could hurt in such exquisite ways. Not a toothache per-se but a whole palate of pain that would make what Dustin Hoffman endured in the movie “Marathon Man” seem like Sunday at the park with Ice cream.

Much later last night, I noticed that every time there was a breeze through the house or indeed if I moved the comforter on the bed I’d start coughing violently. This led me to ask why?

I’d noticed a lot more pollen than usual in the air over the past few days. I started wondering if part of the problem was that there was so much pollen my body was simply trying to expel yet more foreign bodies.

When I say pollen… I mean that everything that can bloom is blooming. There are clouds of the stuff so thick at times it looks like dust storm. Everything in the house is covered with a pale yellow dust.

You want to talk sick??? Think of the pollen this way it’s cum!

Yeah you read that right it’s plant spooge, and you’re breathing it, eating it, and you can’t get away from it. Makes what you do in the bedroom seem pretty tame don’t if?

Don’t even try to tell me you don’t swallow!

LCARS

At this point I was actually thinking about sleeping in the back seat of my car.  I could even program it to fire up the fans and suck filtered air into the cabin  ever 4 hours.

It’s been in the garage for the past week. Sealed like a space capsule, all the cabin filters in place. A beautiful leather clad oasis of clean air oh my!

Sleeping in the car was looking better and better. The space craft metaphor is strangely true in the case of that car.. There are times when I expect to hear Majel Barrett Roddenberrys’ voice saying something like “Warning you’ve entered a personal hazard zone.” As I drive through Southern California.

Ok yeah it’s weird.

Tell me you’ll do better after the 6th consecutive night of getting 2 hours of sleep and coughing so hard your’e tasting blood then wondering if your lungs are coming up next. I double dog dare you!

As the morning light dispelled the insanity of the witching hours a simple plan began to gather like the light in the East.

It dawned on me that an experiment to find out if it’s the pollen or if I have a cold would be to close the house, (limiting the introduction of more pollen) and turn on the A/C.

The recycled air is filtered albeit not well, but limiting the introduction of additional pollen might go a long way toward removing the irritants. Much as I hate to have the A/C on this early in the year I figure I can run the experiment for 48 hours and see what happens.

Which leads me back to “Dogma”

There’s a scene where one of the demons says “No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air. “

So here I sit having a cup of coffee house darkened by drawn shades the sexual sinning hum of the A/C compressor occasionally heard from outside. And You know what? I’m not coughing as much. The real test will be tonight when I try to get some sleep.

Meanwhile the Dogs are more than happy with the A/C being on. They’re snoring loudly on their beds.

Now you’ve been through part of the rabbit hole that is my brain.

I hope you’ve incurred no permanent damage.

 

Here’s a bonus question… The control panel shown above, what fictional species does it belong to?

—– Update —–

Running the A/C & keeping the house closed seem to have helped. I also got a whole 6 hours of sleep. It was restless sleep but sleep nonetheless.

2012 BMW i8 Concept SpyderI haven’t braved the big bad world outside yet today. According to the weather reports it’s supposed to get windy in the valleys starting today so I’m guessing we may see the wind pick up a little bit here. More blowing pollen oh joy…

Part of the restless sleep was that I kept dreaming about driving through Germany after having picked one of these babies up in Leipzig . If you’re going to have restless dreams you should at least make them worthwhile.

This is the BMW i8. I know I’ll never be able to afford one even if it makes it out of the concept stage. I can dream though can’t I?

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Maybe I’m just out of sorts…

Or maybe I’ve just been pushed over a  threshold.

There was an article in the Daily Mail talking about actor Jim Parsons. The article seems to have been trying to whip up some shock value about Mr. Parsons being gay, in a 10 year relationship and never having brought his other half to any events or award shows.

The author  LINDA MASSARELLA appears very interested in the fact that Mr. Parsons hasn’t revealed his lovers name.

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SAY WHAT????

Ms. Massarella I have to ask… What the hell business  is it of yours?

There may be some very good reasons for not doing a Hollyweird REVEAL.

Mr. Parsons other half could be working in any one of a 1000 businesses where the knowledge that he is gay could limit his advancement or terminate his career.

I’ve seen American Business up close and personal. I’ve watched what happens when a fundamentalist boss decides an employee is gay.

No more promotions

No more raises (or fractional percentages)

Business needs trumping the suspected gay employees vacation at the last moment. Or vacation requests not being approved at all because of business needs.

The gay employee is sent on every business trip (hey they’re gay… they can go to a bus stop and have sex.) This phenomena is especially evident around holidays. The US Office of Personnel Management lists 10 days as federally recognized holidays in 2012.

Most American companies don’t recognize four of those holidays. That means that if a business trip is likely to take an employee away during a holiday, the employee that is ordered on the trip will be single and probably gay.

Contrary to popular belief… being gay in American business often demands living in the closet. It’s not about being ashamed of being gay… it’s about making sure that promotions, raises, and career advancement isn’t artificially limited.

Even if an employee has a good boss when they come out there’s no guarantee that the next boss won’t be a fundamentalist or even a mostly moderate Christian hell bent on punishing the evil gay sinner.

For those people reading this who are thinking “Well you can sue for discriminatory practices“. Yep you’re right, you can… If you can prove it and the burden of proof is on the employee being discriminated against. Even in California! 

If you consider the rather volatile nature of a performers income, it’s possible that Mr. Parsons other half was the primary breadwinner in the relationship. They built a life together based on faith, trust and the overwhelming desire to help each other achieve their dreams.

Mr Parsons desire could have been funded by his other half working in business providing financial stability while Mr Parsons went to auditions, taking any parts offered. They probably never counted on Mr Parsons landing a recurring part in a hit TV series. Mr Parsons probably took care of a lot of the day to day household things so that his man could focus on moving up in his career, come home in the evening, have a drink and relax.

They likely built their lives around their combined income and lived modestly. I personally wouldn’t be surprised if they were still living a mostly modest life where the rules haven’t changed much. As anyone in long term relationships knows the roles each party chooses don’t really change much over time.

Ms. Massarella cites an Out Magazine article written by Michael Musto as support for her thesis that somehow Jim Parsons is less than honorable because he hasn’t outed his other half. The Musto article says absolutely nothing about performers outing their other half. It says that the group in the glass closet is shrinking. And that it’s finally become honorable and sensible for performers to bust out of the glass closet.

Between the time the Musto article was published and Ms. Massarellas piece in the Daily Mail… Mustos point has been proven. Jim Parson is now standing in the rubble of his shattered closet.

So Ms. Massarella… before you imply someone is dishonorable you really should think about what you’re saying.