Tag: Male

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This sounds terrible…

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I have the entire house to myself, and the weekend to myself too!

For two whole days I can turn the house into my man cave… 

I don’t have to be embarrassed that I’m watching a really bad “b” or “c” grade scifi movie. I can stay in my boxers if that’s what I want to do. And I can eat what I want… when I want and nobody can say shit about it.

I’m on antibiotics again so I really shouldn’t be drinking… but I think I can sneak a Jack Daniels without the world coming to an end.

I do have to do some things, but those chores are actually chores that I like doing. The plan is to wash and wax my car and do a little detailing without endless interruptions. Then start pre-packing for a trip so I know everything I need and want is in the luggage and ready to go.

I don’t have to fix anyones technology but my own. If I don’t feel like fixin stuff, the shit can stay broken and there’s no-one to whine at me about when it’s going to be fixed.

I can walk around nude, stoke my dick and most blissfully of all… I can sleep the sleep of the dead without earplugs. I won’t be awaked 3 times a night.

And in further news… I knew as I typed it that I wouldn’t be home alone… The Godson showed up!

OK so no naked debauchery and I won’t be watching porn on the big screen. 

I can’t complain… he’s good company and tends to spend his time with his friends on the rare days off he has. He’s going to be looking after the house while I’m on a couple of trips. 

I do find myself wondering why his schedule is so erratic. It’s like he has no defined workweek and That has to be really tough given that he is a very social animal. He comes in and has to often do at least one week if not two of laundry and fit in his banking or other personal business affairs into a very few business hours.

For example he got off work yesterday at 5:00, the week is shot since it’s Friday and him raising anyone to do business is pretty unlikely, he goes back to work Sunday morning.

Just when the fuck is he supposed to deal with banking, his bills, or any of the other stuff that modern life entails.

I personally think the management where he’s working hasn’t ever managed a crew of people. They’re completely oblivious to the realities of their employee needs.

But it’s not my business. I can say I’d do it differently, but then again… I’ve managed crews of 20+ folks and have a bit of a clue about how to schedule folks.

On the plus side, he’s making pretty decent bank for someone his age. 

So my plans change a little bit… but I love the kid and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Humm man cave time on Sunday? 

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Something that I’ve noticed lately

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Occasionally, I’ll wander through adult ads.

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What I’m looking for is people with a similar mindset to my own, for friendship.

There are a LOT of flaky fuckers out there! To most of you, that probably comes as no surprise.

One of the things that has recently struck me as weird is how many ads apologize for specifying a racial preference.

OK, ok…  some of the ads I peruse are FWB (friends with benefits) in nature. Hey some of the kinky stuff people are into is amazing! I wouldn’t mind someone that I could hang out with and have some more intimate fun with.

I’ve noticed this growing trend to say something like;

“I’m a white person looking for other white people. I’m not into black, asian, or hispanic, sorry that’s just my preference.“

I’m frankly confused by this apparent need to apologize for stating a preference.

I personally am not attracted to fat white people, or people with poor hygiene, or people with heavy tattoo work. I make no apologies for that. I’m also not attracted sexually to black people and it’s a very rare asian or hispanic person that I even entertain a vague sexual thought about.

SO What?

Just because we’re forced to live in a kumbaya “We have to love everyone, and everyone should feel good about themselves” mediocre country, doesn’t mean that I have to share my friendship… or my bed with everyone.

When I talk about being someones friend it’s not in the fair weather sense.

I’m not particularly needy I can be quite content on my own. That doesn’t negate the fact that I’m a social animal and would appreciate the companionship.

I want to build my circle of friends. I can be a very good friend, you know… the kind of person that you can call at 3 am to pick your drunken ass up at a coffee shop or some chicks house when things went badly.

I expect the same kind of reliability of those that I call my friend too. 

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When it comes to sex… I try my personal best to never be mediocre about it!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with stating your racial preferences right up front. It saves everyone time, prevents misunderstandings, and potentially hurt feelings.

This is not being a racist!

How the hell are you going to perform in bed with someone that you’re not the least bit attracted to?

I suppose if I were an Escort or prostitute I wouldn’t have any ground to stand on. Mainly because I’d be in love with the Green color of Money!

But in my personal sex life I can afford to be picky.

So lets all grow up and stop apologizing for shit that you can’t change and accept that all of us have likes and dislikes and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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That unhealthy glow

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I’m a dumbshit! I totally admit it. Laugh all you want, I can take it.

Yesterday the sun was warm and the sky was blue, there was a gentle breeze and I thought;

“It’s a perfect day to spend a little time on the deck.”

So I took my glass of water, my Kindle, and my fat ass outside, without a shirt, and settled in a lounge chair.

I was only outside a little while… OK 40 minutes and my chest and belly are sunburned to beat the band.

I know better!

I never do shit like that without sunscreen on. 

So guys… learn from my stupidity, watch yourselves and your kids in the sun.

With the upcoming 4th of July celebrations we’re all going to be outside a bit more. 

Be a good example to your family, apply sunscreen with them  not just to them.

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Butt Toys

Yeah You read it, Yeah I said it.

[I’ve decided to write mini-reviews of items that catch my attention. Personally, I hate jumping in blind and spending $50 to $200 on a toy only to find out that it’s cheaply made, or simply don’t live up to expectations. So take my review in the spirit in which it’s meant. These are my experiences your mileage will probably vary.]

The male butt can be an amazing source of pleasure. I discovered this as an adolescent, but shame and social taboos kept me from really enjoying all that my butt could offer until well into middle age.

Many men, straight and otherwise have been introduced to the pleasures of anal stimulation by their significant others. I’ve known many women that loved “turning the tables” on their men.

Done right, someone stimulating your prostate can add a whole new dimension to sex and orgasm. You want a mind blowing orgasm? Have someone or something massaging your prostate when you cum. I guarantee that you’ll come back for more.

Whether you have a partner or not,  I can suggest a couple of fine toys.

My current favorites are the Aneros Progasm Ice and the Lelo “Billy”

The Progasm Ice is a great toy.

Having used the Aneros MGX for a while, I wanted something a little more interesting. I can heartily recommend the Ice.

One of the things I didn’t care for with the MGX was the perineum tab tended to be a little too sharp. Not like it cut or anything but it just dug into the perineum a little too aggressively for my tastes.

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The Progasm Ice is a different animal altogether

As you can see in the photo the front tab has a nice round ball and provides pressure and stimulation without digging in.

The Aneros toys are deceptive.

They look like nothing at all… yet, used properly these devices can take you to a hands free orgasm.

They’re powered by your own body. As your anal muscles contract, the Aneros presses on your prostate when causes another contraction and so on until you’re blissed out and cumming.

There are conflicting reports about health benefits of having your prostate massaged. Some people swear that prostate massage is essential for good prostate and sexual health. The medical profession seems less convinced.

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I can tell you from my own experience, that prostate stimulation and massage just feels damn good.

Since I’m all about feeling good, as long as my prostate isn’t damaged by whatever is being done to it, I’m a happy man.

My other favorite toy for prostate massage is the  Lelo “Billy”

The “Billy” is pretty darn close to perfect if you’re into powered pleasure.

(I’d never seen a Lelo vibrator until I was shopping with someone very close to me who purchased one for his wife. I was impressed with the design and wondered if they made something for men… Short answer is Yes. )

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The curve is perfect and angles right at the prostate.

The diameter of the “Billy” is just right for beginners to butt play as well as the more… uh experienced user.

The controls are easy to use and the 5 programmed pulse modes combined with the variable speed of the unit make for a wide variety of pleasurable adventures.

This unit is well built, rechargeable, and a whole lot of fun. The “Billy” is a little pricy but looks like it’s going to hold up well.

I personally like the pulse mode. I have no doubt that everyone can find something to make their butt happy.

I’m thinking about giving one of these as a gift to my brother… Well Actually I think I’d have to give it to his wife… I’ll probably have to include 20 or 30 feet of rope so she could tie him down and force pleasure on him!

Combine either or both of these toys with a big healthy dose of Spunk Lube and you’re good to go for playtime either alone, or with your mate.

Spunk Lube has become my go to lube for general play. Whatever you’re sliding into your partner Spunk gives you a silky smooth ride. I’ve had no trouble with condoms or toys and as advertised Spunk cleans up easily.

The problem I suspect most folks have with toys, is the expense.

It’s not like you can walk into a store and try a toy to decide if you like it.

So you look at the item carefully and then you make the call. If you’re lucky the item in question works the way you hope.

I got lucky with these toys,

I hope my review helps you get lucky too.

 

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The annual exams of this old carcass are almost done.

vitruvianOnly one more MD appointment and then I’m hopefully done for the year.

Dealing with the medical stuff as we get older is a royal pain in the ass. I’m not in poor health, but even now I find myself longing for the days when I needed Zero help from any physician.

My eyes aren’t what they once were. My sinuses are a mess, and the doctors are always hounding me about my diet, exercise and a litany of other age related concerns.

None of the things the Docs are mentioning are “In the RED” they’re just little things that seem to happen as we age. Of course the medical profession says “we have a medication for that”. I’ll be far more impressed when the medical profession says we can fix that problem for another 30 years!

Yeah, give me a drug or procedure that reverses the issue for 20 or 30 years and I’ll submit to it. I’m not one of those people that is going to willingly take a fist full of drugs 3 times a day. Besides the expense, the side effects are usually murder.

I can tell you this… I eat meat! I’m not going to stop eating meat and if that means that I don’t live quite as long so be it.

What’s the point of living a long life if it’s a life devoid of the little pleasures? I’d much rather be happy than ancient and sad.

Like most men, my preferred death would be to pass on during the most mind blowing orgasm of my life. I’d like to arrive at the gates of heaven roaring in pleasure,  semi hard, and dripping.

I like that image for no other reason than it would be fun freak out all the pious religious people who missed out on so much because they lived in terror of an afterlife of punishment.

I’ve got this twisted view that God shakes his finger at you for not enjoying the gift of life and the joys our bodies were built to have. What a waste if you didn’t enjoy everything the world had to offer.

I know that’s not the mainstream view but then again… I’m not and never have been mainstream.

I hope everyone has a great Fathers Day. Now go find some time to do what made you Fathers in the first place.