Tag: Male

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Cultural Context

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I am in the throes of my annual sinus infection. I thought I’d managed to avoid this year’s thrilling science experiment. I’m not that freakin lucky!

This one is worse than previous years and I’m on an antibiotic. Thus far pretty standard stuff.

Except that as I’ve gotten older I appear to be developing a sensitivity to some antibiotics.

I took the drug as prescribed on Friday.  After not sleeping and being in really serious pain.  (achey joints, cramping, all the long muscles hurting and a blinding headache.) Saturday morning, I called the pharmacy.

These symptoms were not present on Thursday, and only began to show up as Friday evening wore on. 

Things went down hill from there.

The pharmacist spoke English mostly. His accent is so heavy I could barely understand him.

He wasn’t listening to what I was saying. Then without thinking I used an American colloquialism “I feel like I’ve been in an auto accident”

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The pharmacist told me ”drink more water and eat something when you take the pill” which is exactly what he told me on Thursday, and exactly what is printed on the instructions for use.

It was only after I hung up that I realized he probably didn’t understand the americanism.

Depending on what shit hole 3rd world country he came from, it was likely that he didn’t have a car until he got here, and therefore wouldn’t have the common experience of being in an auto accident during the 60s, 70s, or 80s.

Come on… if you’re over a certain age, didn’t all your friends have at least one small accident? Didn’t their parents?

But if you were in a 3rd world country you probably didn’t have a car, and if you did you likely were never driving more than 40MPH because the roads were bad.

Given that, there was no common ground for him to compare to.

But there’s another issue that sometimes happens with 3rd world individuals in professional situations. They really don’t listen very well except to each other.

I suspect this is a vestige of the old caste systems and if someone came to America to break free of that system, they tend to be a little dismissive. It makes sense in a weird sort of way. You see similar effects with the “new rich” regardless of where someone comes from.

In technology development situations this can be a problem but it’s easily monitored and corrected. 

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In a medical situation…

Theoretically it could be fatal.

For example, the symptoms I was complaining of are now reducing instead of increasing. The pain had become debilitating by last night. So this morning, I decided to forego the scheduled dose.

It’s been greater than 12 hours since I took the last antibiotic. I’m still weak, and achy, but I’m feeling much better than I did.

I still don’t trust my reaction times to be fast enough to handle driving, so I’m canceling my plans for the evening.  I’m waiting to have a chat with my doctor and from there we’ll decide how to proceed.

I’ve also started a journal that describes the issues I’ve had with various drugs. 

From here on out, I’m checking the list before I leave the Docs office.

Apparently, I can no longer rely on my local pharmacy for advice.

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The problem with 3 ways, someone is almost ALWAYS selfish!

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By now you’ve all figured out that I’m a contradiction.

On the one hand I’m somewhat conservative, on the other hand, in some areas I’m uhh… adventurous. “Yeah that’s a good word I’ll stick to it.” There is rarely a clear cut predictor about where I’m going to come down on any particular subject.

Love it or hate it my reactions are almost always “Interesting”.

Recently, I met someone who is interesting and adventurous and we ended up in a 3 way with my partner of many years. This isn’t the first time and likely won’t be the last.  This time however, I was in a position where I was a little more disconnected than usual.

A good time was had by all (I hope) but one of the things I noticed was that in a 3 way there is no room for selfishness.

The absolute best 3 way I’ve ever been in was a situation where everyone was all about giving and enjoying the pleasure of giving. This was in my very early years and I naively thought, “sex would always be like this.”  In that situation, not only should the “Needy” not apply… They weren’t allowed to apply.

This more recent situation was a bit different, and once again I was the one forced into trying to keep all the balls in the air. Ahem so to speak.

The point is, a 3 way can be really awesome for one, two, or all three of the parties involved. But one should always be mindful that sharing is important. You shouldn’t allow a situation where only one of the parties is catering to the wants and needs of two of the parties exclusively.

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Ok so you want something inserted… Great! How about remembering to give a comforting touch, or a kiss to whatever part of another person you can reach?

How about remembering that the person driving the two massive latex instruments of insertion now, no longer has a hand free.

How about appreciating that the “driver” here might be using both hands, and a thigh and a knee to bring pleasure to two of you but that the “driver” might be completely off balance and while they’re enjoying watching you squirm, they might also like a little help with balance, particularly if you’re thrashing all over the place.

How about remembering that this act of gymnastic legerdemain might be very uncomfortable and should be rewarded with a comforting hand or mouth, and that it’s in your best interest to keep the practitioner of these gymnastics engaged and intensely pleasured so that they are able to more easily forget about the cramping and joint pain they’re experiencing.

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You’d think that all these things would be self evident.

Even if they’re not, you’d assume that when one of the people who happens to be tied up, comments on the gymnastics with surprise and lust shining brightly in their eyes. That the other participant might decide to discontinue being selfish.

Alas, your assumption would be wrong, such was not the case.

In retrospect it’s obvious I tied the wrong person up. Live and learn!

What I learned was that I need additional rope, a ball gag and a sturdy chair in the next room!

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The next 3 way is going to involve tying up the selfish party in another room and then having wild monkey sex with the person who appreciates my tender mercies.

Just once in these situations… I’d really like to be the one who lays back and fucking enjoys being serviced!

Just once!!!

I should say however, I wouldn’t trade the experiences I’ve had for anything.

I love busting a nut as much as the next guy, but having complete control of two people in the throes of sexual anticipation, joy, depravity, ecstasy is a total rush!

And yes… I’ve probably crossed the TMI line with this post.

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I have definitive proof that you will not go blind…

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… No matter how much you masturbate!

This is really good news for me because I’m not planning to quit masturbating anytime in the near future!

I just finished a follow-up appointment with the Ophthalmologist.

I’m in the “Should be monitored” class of people for Glaucoma but as of today I don’t need drugs to control it.

This has made me very happy.

About all I can say is don’t neglect getting your eyes checked. It’s simple, generally painless, and this is a pretty planet. It would really be ashamed to miss it over something that is fairly easy to take care of.

In any case, I’m celebrating with a nice cup of coffee, just had the car washed, and I’m trying to figure out what I’d like for lunch.

The rest of the day is mine perhaps I’ll do some writing.

Been dreaming of a character which means that his story is pretty close to being ready for prime time.

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Another Day another Starbucks

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This time however, I’m grounded.

I have to say as an aside, I hate panicky medical providers.

I went for a routine (Yearly) eye exam, and the optometrist that did the exam, freaked out over the pressure reading in my eyes.

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I explained that I was aware of the condition and the underlying causes for the readings his little handheld puffy machine was reporting. (essentially his little puffy machine isn’t calibrated for people like me. And they’re NOT that accurate to begin with.) He would have none of it!  This guy is not the guy I saw last year and he’s lost me as a patient for the firm for a number of reasons.

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Top of the list, is that he was badgering me and not listening to what I had to say about this issue.

Further down the list is that in general he wasn’t listening to anything I had to say and was spending way too much time playing with his damn computer trying to find my records.

But then there was the whole insanity of him wanting to make sure I knew how to handle my contact lenses… Uhhh I walked into your office wearing them and you didn’t see a problem.  30 years on; believe me I know how to wear contacts. At this point in my life I think the only contact lens I haven’t worn is the full scleral lenses usually seen in monster movies.

In all that time I’ve never had an eye infection of any kind. I have on occasion had abraded corneas. Usually due to an accidental situation like getting caught in a sandstorm while hiking in the desert. The corrective action is, don’t wear the contacts. Let the eyes heal, while watching for any signs of further injury. At the first sign of the problem getting worse… you get your happy ass to a qualified medical practitioner. Next! Its pretty common sense when you think about it.

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In any case, this guy was just annoying in his panic and as he ratcheted up his rhetoric about how bad this was, how dangerous, and that I was going to go blind imminently. I found myself thinking perhaps I should have it checked out… This guy is really excited about the readings. 

Blindness is not cool, especially if it can be prevented with minimal effort and corrective action.

So I went home and scheduled an appointment with an Ophthalmologist.

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These folks are full MD’s who specialized in the eye. And as a side benefit… they can do surgery, give you drugs, and deal with glasses and contacts. In other words they’re a one stop shopping experience. Guess what kind of eye doctor I’ll be going to in the future… Good I knew you were bright enough to figure that one out. Sadly, the optometrist isn’t, ahh well…

I just finished with the first round of tests and scans with the Ophthalmologist.  I’m grounded because my eyes are dilated and my vision is really screwed up. I walked to this Starbucks! I’d be an accident waiting to happen if I tried to drive right now. There is no way in hell I could process all the visual / spatial data required to drive on California Freeways at 80 – 90 MPH.

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So I’m having a moca, doing a little business, writing, and relaxing.

Oh, as it turns out…

According to preliminary results, I do have a thicker than usual cornea, My internal pressures are on the high side of normal, & my optic nerve is in good shape. Pending the final round of testing I’ll probably fall into the category of people who should be monitored and there is no immediate danger of my going blind.

In other words, what I was telling the Optometrist was correct, and his panic was completely disproportionate to the situation. Thank god he wasn’t in control of an AED or I’d be dead because he’d have pushed the shock button at the first sign of an irregular heartbeat of high blood pressure.

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Coupled with all the other issues he demonstrated in dealing with me I’m going to take delivery of a set of working contacts and then I’m going to fire him.

If I have to be monitored for glaucoma from here on out… I might as well be monitored by a professional who can actually take corrective action and who has the proper tools to deal with my eyes.

It’s good that I reconfirmed what I thought I knew. But really, I’m trying to live drama free and I prefer medical people who think like Vulcans

 

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OK I’ve got something to say about “American Sniper”

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I’ve read the book, I’ve seen the movie, and Michael Moore needs to shut the fuck up.

When he waddles his Jabba the Hut ass out into a battle field humping 90LBS of equipment and takes on a bunch of fuckers trying to KILL HIM, then maybe I’ll take what he has to say about war, guns, and soldiers a little more seriously.

Until then will someone please tell him to shut his pie hole? I think he’s said quite enough.

Here’s my take for what its worth on Chris Kyle and American Sniper.

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It’s a story of a man struggling to choose between something he does very well, his duty to his fellow soldiers, regardless of the branch of the military they were in, his country, and the love of his life & family.

You can’t read the book without noticing that past a little bit of swagger, and a smidgeon of embellishment, this guy was a real human being.

As to the embellishment… who hasn’t heard “War Stories” from a favorite uncle or grandparent? Chris Kyle didn’t get the opportunity to be that uncle, or grandparent, his life was cut tragically short in part because of his career after the Seal Team.

He was killed trying to reach out & help other vets truly come home.

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As a man, he was stressed about the same things that all of us were stressed about. Am I doing the right thing? Did I make a difference? I could have done that better.

Chris Kyle, from his own words was someone that I’d probably have liked. I don’t know that we’d have been friends. I can say he sure was someone that I’d have respected and might have enjoyed joking and teasing with. I’d have gone to any shooting range with him and no doubt learned a lot.

Chris Kyle was not a racist xenophobe. He called people that were trying to kill him and his team-mates, “Savages” with good cause. “Savages” put explosives in the hands of their children and are surprised when their children are killed. Civilized people get their children out of harms way.

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As far as Chris Kyle was concerned the “Savages” he was killing were evil of the most despicable kind. I suspect that, in part was why he was able to do four tours of duty without being killed. That belief that the evil was around him probably kept him sharp.

But the story is about so much more.

Again Mr. Kyle puts it best. “One day I’m in a war, then next I’m home.”

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How the hell do you deal with that transition? I mean flying from the West coast to the Southeast can strip my gears, One minute I’m in a super liberal Kumbaya place and the next I’m home in a land of Sunday go to meeting “Rednecks”.

I can’t imagine having bullets flying at me one day and my child on my lap the next.

In the book Mr. Kyle talks about his relationship with his wife. Its beyond obvious that he loved her very deeply and loved his children as much or more. She was the love of his life. The book also gives you Taya Kyle’s perspective, which is sometimes a little different than his.

The story ultimately is about him, his loves, and foibles played out against the harsh reality of war. In the end, he makes his family his primary duty and it’s not a simple decision or easy for him to do. The Seals were his family just as much as his wife and children.

How do you choose between one half of your family and the other?

The nuances don’t come through as clearly in the movie as they do in the book. This is not the fault of the movie script so much as it is a matter of the time the movie had to tell the story.

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The bottom line is this, the progressive leftists want to see only the harshness. They want to view this man only as a wind up soldier forgetting that he was fighting for them too.

They don’t want to be reminded that he was a human being and that he had depth and character and a moral compass that pointed north.

Acknowledging those facts means that they would have to abandon their preconceived notions and might actually like the movie, the book or God forbid, BOTH.

Read the book, see the movie then make up your own mind.

See past the battles for buildings and ground. See instead this man’s journey, I think you’ll appreciate this guy as a hero, but more importantly you’ll appreciate him as a man.

You should also know, I cried at the end of the book and again at the end of the movie.

My best friend looked the other way while I wiped away tears at the end of the movie.

I guess that’s why we’re still friends after a lot more years than either of us admit to.