Tag: Humor

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Sigh… Writing and blogging misfires!

It’s been one of those time in my life where I’ll start to write something and then it all just goes to hell.

I’ll write a paragraph, get to the end and think, “Where was I going with this?”

Oh I’ll push on hoping that everything resolves itself in the end, but it doesn’t.

Things just get worse. Then I’ll go back an re-read what I’ve written and think, “This is really not worthy of me.”

The blessed [DELETE] key is pressed and my computer dutifully asks me if I’m sure.

“Of Course I’m sure! Have you read this drivel?” I say outloud to the computer.

The computer responds, “Not my Table!”

The offending document is hurled into the bit-bucket and I try again.

I suppose all writers have times like these.

I’m just tired of feeling like somehow I’ve dropped 50 points on the IQ scale.

On the plus side, if my IQ is dropping maybe soon it will drop to a point where I don’t know how stupid I am?

I don’t know if ignorance is bliss, but the way things are going I may soon find out.

I moved on from being unable to write. To reading something from a gentleman whose writing I always find informative and educational.

The piece is called:

My Gratitude For the Apologies and Sincere Expressions of Regret

As most of you know, I love a good bit of sarcasm

The author is Thomas Harrington. Here is his short Bio

Thomas Harrington, Senior Scholar at the Brownstone Institute, is an essayist and Professor Emeritus of Hispanic Studies at Trinity College in Hartford (USA) where he taught for 24 years. He specializes in Iberian movements of national identity Contemporary Catalan culture. His writings are at Thomassharrington.com.

Professor Harrington’s piece might not make sense to you if you are unaware of the CDC’s recent reversal of position on COVID.

For your convenience, here is another piece from Brownstone Institute. Within the piece is a link to the actual CDC report. The article itself does a good job distilling the salient points.

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Young dogs…

This dog is more of a clown than any dog I’ve ever had. That’s saying something.

All of my dogs have had personalities, for better or worse they’ve been individuals and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This guy seems to have gone through the personality line twice when he was being built.

In this picture he was trying to hide from me. (Leash notwithstanding.) He was playing, “I’m going to hide and then jump out of the bushes and throw snow all over you.”

He’d gone behind the bush in the foreground and crouched, just as I got the camera ready he saw something across the wash so the picture caught him standing instead of in his goofy, “I’m hiding and you can’t see me crouch.“

At least he picked the right color bush to hide behind.

This dog loves the snow and cold more so than any other dog I’ve had. It can’t be too cold and the snow can’t be too high for him to be happy.

When he’s finally tired from the day’s goofiness then you get the other side of him.

The next photo is him realizing that I’ve just come from the kitchen. In his world this means that I must’ve made something for him. “Uh, no pup, I was stirring the soup but it’s not ready yet.”

This is the “I’m too cool for school look.“

A.K.A. Where is the food man?

He’s also taken to talking to me. He does these weird vocals that crack me up. There’s one in particular that means. “Dad. You’ve been looking at the computer too long, it’s time for us to go out and play.“

There is a lot of play and a lot of walks too.

Then at the end of the day, after the dinner plates have been cleared and the sun is setting there’s this. It’s not dignified but he seems comfortable. Although it does limit the use of the couch.

Other dogs were not allowed on the furniture, (unless my back was turned). With this guy, I realized I was fighting a losing battle and now I vacuum the floors and the furniture as part of the daily cleaning ritual.

This picture was taken after we’d been on a walk on a rainy day. Thank goodness he was dry by the time he’d moved to this nap position.

He’s been with me just over a year. He’s becoming a nice dog to have around. On our daily walks he’s alert and curious. More than once over the year he’s stopped on a trail, sniffed the air, then turned 180 and took us back the way we came.

I can only assume that he smelled something that he didn’t want any part of.

The next day, we’ll go through the same area and he doesn’t twitch at all.

He still hasn’t figured out the size difference between himself and deer. If we encounter a deer, hold on to your socks! It’s going to be a wild run/drag through the undergrowth and trees until the deer loses us.

Then he looks at me like it’s my fault the deer is gone. (He’s not wrong.) He is fast enough he could probably catch a deer if he wasn’t dragging my fat butt behind him. I have no idea what he’d do then, I seriously doubt he has a clue either.

The funniest thing he’s done, is stopping in front of a neighbor’s house whose Christmas decorations include a realistic looking plastic deer and fawn. He went on point and then was confused that the deer didn’t run. Then he started barking his fool head off at the plastic deer.

I was laughing so hard I was crying. The owner of the house came out to see what the ruckus was. He took the situation in, and busts up laughing. His wife came out to see what was going on and she busted up too.

Eventually the owner waved us up onto the lawn so my dog could sniff the deer and understand they weren’t real. All three of us were wiping tears of laughter from our faces watching the dog cautiously approach then jump away.

Finally he sniffs the plastic then looks at us with a WTF? look.

It was a nice way to meet the neighbors.

I also found that the guy has a wicked sense of humor.

He’s moving the deer around his yard and watching my dog stop to analyze the situation.

You can almost see the wheels turning in his head, “They’re not real, they smell like plastic, why do they keep moving?“

In the end, we come home and the dog sleeps on the matter.

It’s the simple things in life that bring the most joy…

I hope your Christmas season has a lot of joyous little moments and that you have the time to appreciate them.

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I read a new term today that cracked me up.

The term was Covidians

As in religious practitioners.

Immediately I visualized scores of people in robes singing praises to the grand protectors.

Blessed be the Mask.
Blessed be the Harmony of Social Distancing.
Blessed be the co-mingling of the vaccine with our blood.
Blessed be the lack of heretics for what is once done is forever done. All hail the jab!

All of this being done under stained glass widow showing an angelic Dr. Fauci haloed and masked. Perhaps with crossed syringes behind him. On the right, would be the holy first shot and on the left the holy booster.

Of course, no religion would be complete without curses.

Cursed be the unvaxxed, for they shall inherit death.
Cursed be the deniers, for they are minions of the evil one, he of orange hue and wicked tongue.
Cursed be purveyors of treatments, for they seek to undo the will of the almighty COVID, without the blessings of the holy jab.
Cursed be those who will not mask, for they shall breathe naught but the unclean air and pestilence.
Cursed be the pagan ones who dance in the sunlight and bathe in the sea for they wallow in filth.

As I was picturing this insanity I realized that I was pulling some of the imagery from the movie Ultraviolet.

As movies go, it was a bit weak on the plot. The visuals were impressive and in the end, the badguy did get his just deserts. So there was a certain satisfaction in that.

Ironically, the bad guy in the movie bears a slight resemblance to St. Fauci of the Mask, only a few years younger.

I was flashing on all of this and completely forgot what the article was about.

But… It started my day with a weird bit of silliness and a smile.

I hope you have some silliness that makes you smile in the weekend ahead.

I’m thinking I’ll fire up the DVD player and see if I can dig out my copy of the movie just for the hell of it.

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In honor of Thanksgiving…

I’m watching Addam’s Family Values.

It’s a fun romp.

I may revert to the annual tradition of the Alien Movies, or perhaps the 1950 and 1960 movies about invasions or space travel.

The movie selection is confusing I know…

The tradition of watching Alien on Thanksgiving dates back many years to happy Turkey Meals, good drinks, and Black Friday shopping with one of my oldest and dearest friends. (Let me tell you… HE’S OLD!)

It wasn’t intentional, it just so happened that we’d put on a movie from the Alien franchise drink, eat chips and dip and wait for the Turkey to be ready. As the Alien Franchise expanded we simply started with Alien earlier in the day. And so a tradition was born.

This year I need a little humor.

Addams Family Values has a great scene depicting a play about the First Thanksgiving. In the scene, a pretty rich girl is pitted against Wednesday Addams. Hilarity ensues from there.

I think that we all could use a large dose irreverent humor these days.

I know I’m already looking forward to having a drink, and watching all the familiar tropes of Summer Camp, Political Correctness, rich versus poor, and inclusion being put through a blender.

What comes out is just good fun.

Especially when you consider that the Addams Family wealth eclipses all of the nouveau rich depicted in the film. Then consider that Wednesday, comes down on the side of the outcasts and leads them to a “win” in a signature Addams Family way.

I personally find the camp scene more satisfying than The scene in Logans Run where Farrah Fawcet has her face blown off by the automated surgery robot.

Don’t get me wrong, I had nothing against Farrah, she was beautiful.

But there’s just something about her getting what’s coming to her after betraying Logan that is viscerally satisfying. I suppose that satisfaction is due in part to the fact that all too often those who really deserve a bit of Karma don’t get it.

I hope you all have a great Turkey Day and take some time to just take a breath, relax and enjoy something completely escapist.

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Well I tried…

Last night there was a lunar eclipse. This one was a super long one, only happening once in 1000 years.

In honor of the duration and rarity of the event I stayed up past my bedtime and walked out onto the deck to do what we often don’t do enough of.

I looked up.

The first time I went out, the sky was clear, with just a bit of haze and I could see the beginning of the eclipse.

Unfortunately my phone couldn’t. But this is what the beginning of the eclipse looked like and I thought I was going to be golden for the whole event.

I’d already heard from some friends “Down Below” (Yeah I live on a mountain and am elitist about it, So what!) that they were experiencing fog and cloudy conditions so they couldn’t see anything.

I smugly went back inside to warm up, secure in the knowledge that I’d be able to see the whole show. (Ahem! Mother Nature why do you hate me?)

I went back out about 30 minutes later to this.

What we have here is clear proof that A) Mother Nature hates me, and B) She has a cruel sense of humor.

If you’ll notice, this is a band of clouds, a single strip, the skies are relatively clear on either side.

The rest of the eclipse was more of the same from my vantage point. A strip of clouds that was moving in just the right direction to look like a curtain pulled across this celestial event.

Like I said Mother Nature hates my sorry ass.

There was a thinning of the clouds, and I could see the shadow covering part of the moon, the camera was even able to catch it, but much of the rest of the event was hidden.

From this picture, you can see that Mother Nature is also a bit of a tease.

That being said, I tried my best. I’m sure that Mother Nature is having a good laugh with friends this morning.

“Oh, Poseidon you should have seen the look on this one guys face when I painted over the moon with clouds! I haven’t seen a look that sad in millennia. Not since that poor tourist spent his life savings to visit Atlantis only to arrive just as it sunk. Hahahahahaha!“

Yes indeed the gods are capricious.

I hope you have a good day and pleasant weekend. I’m going to take a mid-day siesta and hope that there’s not an earthquake! (Poseidon, Hephaestus, I’m looking at you guys! No angry earth movements or accidents at the forge today please.)