Tag: Humor

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Whew! We dodged that bullet!

Kamala Harris has been appointed the Biden Administration’s Gun CZAR. She’ll be leading President Dunderhead’s  new federal office of gun violence prevention.

Cacklingkamala

Of course President dumbass would create some new office of blah blah blah. Of course his administration would take aim at the 2nd amendment. After all his administration has already tried to trash the First and Fourth amendments.

His administration is also engaging in destroying the justice system so the American Citizen won’t have any legal recourse to recover their rights…

Fortunately for those of us who believe in the 2nd Amendment, President Dullard, appointed perhaps the only person more incompetent than himself. Kamala Harris!

With her at the head of this anti-gun push, we’ll all be able to own .50 Cal Machine guns by Christmas. If we’re really lucky we’ll be able to have patriot missile batteries on our front lawns by New Years! That assessment is based on her stellar performance as the border CZAR. 

The gun control lobby must be apoplectic. They know they’re screwed but they can’t say anything about it because to criticize the Biden/Harris administration is heresy of the highest order!

That part makes me laugh! It’s nice to see them get a little of what average law abiding citizens have been putting up with since President Doofus, “bump & goed,” his way into the Oval Office, and honestly a long time before that in California.

(I never noticed how many denigrating terms started with “D” before.)

There was a reason that no one in California voted for Harris for President. It wasn’t that she was a woman, or a woman of color, or that she couldn’t keep her legs together. It was that she was a SHITTY Attorney General for the state, and a shittier Senator.

Putting her in the Senate meant that she wasn’t in California to keep screwing up the state. Beware all you lockstep Democrats… The people of California might send Gavin Newsom to Washington as President so we have time to undo his colossal fuck ups here in California. Yeah, think about that for a minute! Maybe the dumbasses we send to the House and Senate, we send not because they’re good but so that we can limit the damage they do to the state.

In Kamala’s case no one ever imagined that she’d be considered for Vice President. Then along comes President dipshit!

(There really are a lot of “D” words…)

I heard that President Dummy said, “If you need an 80 round magazine, you shouldn’t own a gun.”

I thought that was funny too. An 80 round magazine just means you can bag your hunting limit without reloading!

On the other hand, if high capacity magazines are measures of how good a shot you are, or should be, then perhaps we should limit the capital police to single shot weapons in time for the next insurrection.

It would be interesting to see the capital police and maybe the D.C. police defending why they felt it necessary to have 15 round magazines in their Glocks, in contradiction to President Dweebs assertions.

Fellow patriots, we can all rest easy! Cackling Kamala will be as effective in the Gun Control sphere, as she has been in every position the Biden administration has put her in. 

It does make me wonder if she’s any good in the one venue that has supposedly  propelled her to the top of the political arena. Is she well versed in the bedroom, or is it just easy to get her legs open?

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I remember when…

My parents were very concerned that I was listening to Alice Cooper and had a poster of him in my room. The poster, I’d purchased from Spencers Gifts. My parents hated that I went into that store way too often to spend my allowance.

I even got grounded for sneaking into the living room one Saturday night to watch “Saturday Night Live” because Alice Cooper was performing.

Totally Worth it!

So imagine my surprise and joy to find that Alice Cooper is still raising hell.

I was astounded that Alice has rattled cages at a cosmetics company because he said there are only two genders.

In an interview with Stereogum Cooper said, “I’m understanding that there are cases of transgender, but I’m afraid that it’s also a fad, and I’m afraid there’s a lot of people claiming to be this just because they want to be that,” he said. “I find it wrong when you’ve got a six-year-old kid who has no idea. He just wants to play, and you’re confusing him telling him, ‘Yeah, you’re a boy, but you could be a girl if you want to be.’”

Later in the article he said, “If you have these genitals, you’re a boy. If you have those genitals, you’re a girl.”

Apparently this was enough to cause cosmetics company Vampyre to end a Brand Relationship (whatever the hell that is) with Cooper.

I guess “Brand Relationships” are what we used to call spokesmen or endorsements.

Vampyre Cosmetics caters to the Goth community. Who Knew?

In the ancient days of my youth, we’d find cheap garish makeup and go to town. It never occurred to us that we needed a brand that catered to us. We shopped the bargain bins. Blood red lipstick, grey / black eyeshadow (I preferred it to look like dark ash,) and almost any whoreish black gunky eyeliner would do. (After reading about Egyptian culture and their makeup, I made my own eyeshadow out of charcoal from the fireplace. Hit & miss but Goth to it’s core.)

All of our supplies were usually available for 50% off. If you were in a super religious area, Goth makeup was easy to get and even cheaper because “Decent” people wouldn’t wear makeup that made them look like the whore of Babylon.

The only place you could get some pieces was Spencer’s Gifts and that was a pricy proposition. Your leather or heavy antique coat was either from an old trunk in the basement (and smelled like it), or from Goodwill. Sometimes suitable leather coats could be found on the Wilsons discount rack.

Then along came Hot Topic…

Half the fun of being a Goth was finding all the Goth accouterments as hand-me-downs, throwaways, and goodwill items. Your style was defined by you and what was available, which meant all good Goths were unique individuals and their attire spoke to that uniqueness.

Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne were out patron saints. We modeled ourselves on their performance art. Our parents hated those two with a passion.

My Goth clothing phase lasted less than a year. It was tiresome to get into costume ever day. I also found that I preferred to be invisible in a crowd. Dressing Goth meant I couldn’t blend in with the general population, I had to remain in “GothLand”. I don’t like limits. It was fun, it was a phase, and in short order I was done.

Maybe one of these days I’ll dust off the old Goth me, and dress up for Halloween. It might be fun.

For me, Alice Cooper going against the grain of the alphabet culture, is at once ironic and comforting. It says that apparently I haven’t drifted too far from my roots.

Mr. Cooper always said what he thought, and carried the mantle of counter culture proudly.

I find that I agree with him once again. He makes sense and he’s willing to speak his mind in this cancel culture, consequences be damned.

Vampyr Cosmetics said in their statement,
“In light of recent statements by Alice Cooper we will no Longer be doing a makeup collaboration. We stand with all members of the LGBTQIA+ community and believe everyone should have access to healthcare. All pre-order sales will be refunded.”

There was a tweet… Should I call it an X now? Oh never mind. Anyway this tweet directed at Vampyr Cosmetics absolutely nailed it.

I’d like to shake @OldGuyGamer2’s hand for being so succinct.

This goes back to the LGB part of the gay community wanting a divorce from the TQIA+ bunch. The divorce will be very ugly and god only knows who’s going to get custody of the kids but it’s time. The TQIA+ bunch has moved to almost diametric opposition to the LGB group and the rest of “Decent” culture at large.

I’ll be curious to see which side the Goth community comes down on, or will they split into opposing groups?

What does that look like? Cooper Goths and PlannedParenthood Goths?

The vision in my head of “Cooper Goths” marching with Church groups is amusing. There’s something just funny about pink taffeta and white heels juxtaposed with Goths more somber hues carrying anti-grooming, anti-puberty blocking, and perhaps even anti-abortion signs.

That last one might go just a tad too far but that would be priceless to see.

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A Snarky PSA

After the various news appearances by this guy…

Representative Dan Goldman of New York

It’s become obvious that I missed another memo regarding changes to language.

Apparently, the following symbols and terms…

Have become synonymous with…

Here is the poster child for the word, LIAR. His image should be shown as a representative example.

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Bidenomics Is working!

I was in the barbershop and somehow I’d missed that The President had actually used the term. The solemn newscaster was trying very hard to talk Bidenomics up but was having a hard time reading his script. I’d bet that newscaster will be working for one of the conservative outlets soon or he’ll blow his brains out. Cognitive Dissonance is a real bitch for any honest person to maintain, eventually they’ll snap one way or another.

Up to this point I’d thought the term was pure sarcasm from Conservatives. When I found out it wasn’t satire or sarcasm I about fell out of the barbers chair.

My Barber grumbled about how tough his finances had become.

His rates are a bit higher than the chain haircut places. I’ll pay the price to be in a male space where I can have a straight razor shave and not smell the stench of hair chemicals. I have him line up my beard with a straight razor and I get a good hair cut and beard trim / shaping.

Yes, it’s more expensive than the chains, but it’s a monthly ritual where I get value for the dollar, and it makes me feel good about myself.

All that being said, not everyone understands the value or has the cash to partake of it. (Technically I don’t have the cash but I’ll eat ramen and hotdogs a couple nights a week for a month to be able to afford doing something nice for myself, egg salad sandwiches are inexpensive to make despite the cost of eggs these days. I’m not wealthy enough to contemplate a luxury item like tuna or cat food.)

If I had a family to feed or a shit paying job that I had to commute to, then I might make a different choice. Apparently, a lot of my barber’s clients have been forced to make a different choice.

Whether the families are going to the chains or Mom is cutting everyone’s hair is unknown, but business is down.

I’ve seen other evidence of business being down too. The last couple of Costco’s I’ve been in were crowded, but not as crowded as pre-covid & Biden. Even my Home Depot isn’t as busy as it was in 2019 and 2020. Either everyone got their projects done or don’t have the time (due to a second job,) and/or money to do those projects anymore. I’ve noticed in both stores that there are still empty shelves. The pet store is very often out of the large size treats for my dog. I’ve taken to looking for the big sizes in every store I shop in.

The Barber grumbled, “If this is his idea of working, we’re screwed!”

I replied, “But it is working, and it’s beautiful.”

Point of interest… It can be scary making a provocative comment to a Barber while he is holding a razor to your throat. Think Sweeney Todd!

I continued, “Every single thing the Biden administration has done since seizing power has been to degrade, destroy, reverse, or otherwise undo any of the prosperity of the Trump years. Literally the Biden Administration has reversed even those policies that were working effectively, and in so doing has created chaos. They haven’t cared that killing working policies has damaged their administration, or that the President’s approval rating is the lowest of any President in decades. The administration has consistently gone about erasing or expunging all traces of Trump, and they’ve done so with a single minded fervor that rivals Chairman Mao’s purges. I don’t personally want Trump as president again. But I can’t have any respect for an administration that cancels working policies simply because of whose name is on those policies. When I think about it The Biden Administration seems to have elements of a proto-dictatorship. They’re not quite there, but give them another 4 years and they’ll probably find a way to move closer to dictatorship. Remember some countries suspend elections during declared national emergencies, be it military, natural disaster, or financial difficulties…”

My Barber went back to straightening the beard line at my throat, “Okay, I’m following you there but how is Bidenomics working?”

I smiled and waited for him to stand up with the blade away from my throat, “That’s simple, Bidenomics is demonstrably working. Your proof is many people in the country, maybe half, specifically those who are traditionally conservative and work for a living in flyover states are suffering. This is clearly punishment from the Democratic Party for America’s rebellious voting in 2016, when everyone was supposed to vote for Hillary. Bidenomics is working exactly as designed. It was supposed to destroy the economy, increase financial stress across the board, create a greater divide between the ‘Haves and Have Nots’, screw up retirement for boomers, and keep people angry and polarized. All of this potential strife must be in place before the 2024 election. That way, if by some chance, a Republican who is not under full control of the political machine in Washington is elected, rioting can commence instantly. The administration having Joe Biden claim Bidenomics is working is quite possibly the only true thing said in the White House during this administration.”

“I don’t know if I believe your assessment. I do think you’re one of the scariest people I know. Your ability to think in such a diabolical and evil way is terrifying. Here, have a beer,” my Barber said opening a brew.

“Thank you, I’m an amateur. The truly terrifying people are those who live this shit 24/7 in Washington DC. They’re called the United States Government.”

At which point we both had a good laugh.

My Barber went back to his work on my beard, and the conversation turned toward wondering if our sexual escapades of the past would come to haunt us in the future.

The question, “Have you ever wondered if your aggressive sex from years ago might be considered sexual abuse or even rape by todays standards,” led to another fun conversation that could only be had in a safe male space.

Have a good weekend!

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I know it seems like I pick on the Democratic Party a lot…

But DAMN! They’re such easy targets!

Most people only step on a rake in the yard once!

The Democrats have a habit of dancing around like old cartoon characters did.

There are some of you who will not get that reference because many of those old cartoons have been deemed politically incorrect, or too violent, or racist, or, or, or, or, or….

Just ask Whoopie Goldberg as she appears before the actual cartoons on my Looney Tunes DVD boxed set.

Someone in Hollywood thought it necessary to explain that animated line drawings, some of which were produced as war propaganda were violent, and depicted other people or races in a negative light. Believe me, the last thing I want or need is a social justice lesson when all I want to watch is unrealistic mayhem to put a smile on my face.

Hell! I learned basic physics from Wile E Coyote.

You youngsters never had a chance to see cause and effect and consequences presented to you in the phosphorescent glow of a massive CRT over your bowl of Fruit Loops, on a Saturday morning.

As an aside, if you sat in daddy’s chair with a photographic plate behind you, you could also get free chest X-rays. 

Take that Obamacare!

This is part of the reason that people of a certain age, a.k.a. old as dirt look at the Democrat party follies with a mixture of outright amusement and almost blinding horror.

I honestly don’t remember any political party, or any Presidential administration in my lifetime that was capable of as many self inflicted wounds as Wile E. Coyote.

Maybe Nixon? Clinton?

Clinton just couldn’t keep it in his pants. Although I still chuckle thinking about Yasser Arafat roasting his ass during a humid hot east coast summer day in the Rose garden while Clinton was diddling an intern in the Oval Office. That shit cracks me up!

Clinton did teach the American People the art of lying by redefining a word or group of words in plain view, on national television. That was fucking magical to watch.

I’m still unclear about what sex is. Flash forward to now, and I’m also unclear about what a woman is, so I suppose the question of sex is moot.

By comparison to Biden, Nixon and Clinton were Choir Boys.

The Democratic Party, at this point would make Wile cringe, and Bugs Bunny would show compassion and mercy, by just walking away.

Bugs would say, “Well Folks, there’s nothing I could do that tops what they do to themselves. Enjoy the show.”

Don’t get me wrong, I left the Republican Party too. They were missing the point and continue to do so. I’m sure that in due time, they’ll be the objects of my ire and ridicule. Simply because they’re no different than the Democrats. The like to tout that they have the moral and fiscal high ground but they’re just as likely to fund Billion Dollar boondoggles as the Democrats, if those billions go into the pockets of RNC donors.

As much as I hate the Biden Administration, I do almost feel sorry for Joe. I strongly believe that Obama is the power behind the throne. The way things are going, Obama will get to dance away with his Reputation intact and it will be Joe who’s left holding the bag. He’ll be labeled the worst President ever and all the ills of the Democratic Party will be left at his door.

I fully expect for the Democratic Party to abandon Joe. Then they’ll hold him up as a poster child depicting everything that is wrong with “The Patriarchy,” and “White People in power,” Which will usher in a Black Female candidate and they’ll sell that as the way forward to Democratic voters. It won’t be Kamala, she is so thoroughly unlikeable that most folks don’t even see her unless she cackles. 

No it will be someone slick. I could see it being Michelle Obama and that would result in Barry having a significant hand in five Presidential terms. 

The sad thing is that the Republican Party will never see it coming. After 20 some odd years of Obama’s idea of hope and change, the corruption and gamesmanship between the parties will be firmly and permanently entrenched. There will be no coming back from that, I rather suspect we’ll have some weird combination of Idiocracy, Escape from New York, and Escape from LA, with maybe just a touch of Mad Max beyond Thunderdome.

That’s so long as China doesn’t keep playing with biological weapons, yeah I totally believe that COVID was a bioweapon that escaped before it was actually as deadly or infectious as it was supposed to be. I think Fauci believed he was funding legitimate albeit banned in America predictive disease research. The CCP saw it as an opportunity to advance their research into potential bioweapons.

Let’s face it, a disease that kills your enemy that you are also immune to makes conquest a lot easier and preserves the existing infrastructure. We can extrapolate the effectiveness of such conquest by looking at history. Blankets laden with smallpox given to the Native Americans or Hawaiians for example… Granted, the settlers didn’t know what they were doing at the time but the result was the same.

 If China is allowed to keep playing with chimeric viruses then I think the whole situation will look more like Resident Evil and Idiocracy.

Yeah, maybe me having dreams I remember isn’t such a good thing. I woke up with this weird post in my head this morning.

I suppose on the up side, my brain is doing garbage collection… On the down side my brain is doing garbage collection and purging a bunch of disjointed bit & pieces of wrecked trains of thought, and you’re going to get to read them.

My God have mercy on your soul!