Tag: General

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Today is gonna be hard

It’s taken me a while to get the harp consignment lined up. I thought it was never going to come together but now that it’s here, I’m uncertain.

I know that I need to get the harps into the right hands so that they can go to new homes. The harps should be played, loved, used, and bring joy to others.

That being said, they were a big part of his life they were also part of my life to a lesser extent.

The harps defined him. To be without them, feels like letting go of him.

I know this is the right thing to do, but it’s going to be hard.

Wish me luck.

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One of those days

I can’t get focused. I’ve been trying, but thoughts appear and vanish before they’ve fully formed.

I’ve been dreaming a lot. I have no memory what those dreams were, I only remember waking up in the dark to a concerned puppy face sniffing me. He insists on sniffing both of my ears before allowing us to go back to sleep.

I don’t know what that is about but it’s become ritual.

After the sniffs, he’ll lay down with his head on my chest or a paw on me. It’s almost as if he’s saying, “You’re not alone”

I’m fairly certain that the dreams are bad ones. I base that on the expression the dog has. It’s his “What is your problem,” expression. So I may be talking or shouting in my sleep.

On the plus side I’m only waking the dog. On the down side when I get ready to sleep with someone, or have someone else in the house I’ll have to warn them to wear ear plugs.

There’s a lot I should be doing but it’s warm, and the sun is shining, I may put off some of those things I should be doing for another day.

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O’Dark :30 Blues

We’ve all had them.

Either we can’t sleep or a child, dog, or spouse is unwell and we find ourselves shuffling around thinking we should be in bed dreaming peaceful vacation-like dreams.

Instead we’ve grabbed some clothing against the early morning chill and are debating the reasonability of just turning on the coffee machine, while cleaning up after our sick loved one and getting on with the day.

On the bright side, dawn can be very pretty and the birds are very vocal this morning.

My particular morning started with the distinctive sound of a puppy working on vomiting. I hadn’t slept very well myself. I suppose I was awake / asleep / whatever? I call it skip sleeping. That’s what it’s like from my perspective, I’m kind of asleep but mostly awake, aware, and not getting even the benefit of a good nap. But at the same time the clock will advance 5 or 10 minutes in an instant.

This morning, I was in this state and noticed that the dog was making unusual sounds. It sounded just like the sloshy sounds I make with my stomach is upset. He was, I think, asleep, then suddenly jumped up and made for the door.

He made it to the deck outside, hurled, then looked at me guiltily. I saw this by the purplish golden glow of sunrise beginning.

The dog skulked off into the yard and I could hear from the deep shadows the sound of him hurling again. As the purple gave way to golden light I rinsed the deck and told him he’d been a good boy.

He seemed content to lie out on the dry end of the deck so I left the back door open, then went back to bed.

I couldn’t get comfortable much less sleep. I’d resolved to lay there and close my eyes in hope of a few more minutes of sleep. Then I heard the poor pup hurling again in the back yard.

Nope! I’m not going to be sleeping, I got up turned on the coffee pot, comforted the pup and watched the rest of the dawn.

I just noticed, those birds who were so loud announcing the coming of the sun while it was still dark have completely shut up. Those guys need a snooze button!

It’s going to be a warm day and perhaps I’ll get a nap in.

The dog usually naps through the heat of the day. I think I’ll join him this afternoon. Hopefully after making some progress with cleaning more stuff from a closet and perhaps laundry.

Enjoy your sleepy Saturday morning. I’m getting another cup of coffee.