Well, my Number is 2 out of 5

2 out of 5 Times for something to work is apparently enough to keep me trying.

There’s a Shell filling station nearby in Phelan.

3 out of 5 times their pay at the pumps systems aren’t working. It’s always the same shit. “We have to reset the pump” Well if you have to reset the pump then why don’t you do it once an hour since apparently this is an ongoing issue.

Nobody knows how hard I work to keep from being an angry bitter old man just like one of my grandfathers, or one neighbor who is literally pissed off more than he is not.

It’s an effort to not go down that road.

I’m a cynic, easily annoyed, easily cranky, and generally don’t like people en mass.

Put all of those things together and it’s a recipe for a supervillain.

Except in my case I don’t have super powers so I’d just be a frustrated un-supervillain. Probably more like Dr. Evil.

I’m really tired of thing after thing, system after system, & service after service failing because people aren’t doing their jobs. What’s even worse about it is that most of these so called “Jobs” don’t require a lot of brain power, they just require that the person does as instructed.

Today, this gas station thing pissed me off perhaps a bit more than usual because they’re sitting there explaining, “We just need to reset the pump. It’ll only take a few minutes. “

I could see their display was flashing red on several pumps. Obviously all of those pumps needed attention.

So why were these idiots saying “Bro” and joking around then chatting with the customers and each other instead of doing their job. OR how about taking the pumps completely offline so they’re non responsive?

That’s what frustrated the hell out of me, The damn thing looked and acted like it was working but then told me that it couldn’t read the card. After 3 tries where I entered the rewards information only to have the transaction declined and waiting a good 20 seconds for the pump to be ready to work again I was really annoyed. It was 100° & I had groceries in the car.

What these idiots were talking about resetting is the pump’s payment processing system. So that annoyed me too. The pump was literally half assed online and was just teasing me. This is the absolute worst kind of malfunction for me. Half working shit that appears to be fully operational.

It’s not just the gas pumps. It’s literally services at every point of my contact with the world today.

I’m astounded just how much has changed in such a short period of time. Just since 2019 everything seems to have gone nuts and nothing is as it was, or stable for that matter.

I wonder if the craziness is a response to the sudden changes. Everyone is struggling to adapt and as a result folks are short tempered and easily provoked.

I hope that things settle soon.

Ya know… Sometimes I can’t catch a break!

Doing laundry, you’d think would be a straightforward and simple task.

Laundry bottle.jpg.HA!  You’d be WRONG!

In a Rube Goldberg series of events. I found myself reaching down into the abyss behind the washing machine. Why? To retrieve my laundry detergent of course!

How did my laundry detergent end up behind the washing machine? Oh let me tell you a story but you’re not going to believe it. I was standing right there, watched the whole thing, and I couldn’t believe it. Although what I saw lends credence to one of two theories I’ve had for quite some time.

The Theories are: 1, God hates me. 2, we are living in a simulation and there are times when the simulation glitches.

I’d just moved wet clothes to the dryer, put some dirty clothes into the washer, and reached for the laundry soap. It’s a mid sized bottle of liquid and is mostly full so it’s got some weight to it.

Somehow my hand connected with the handle of the bottle, slipped off, knocked the bottle sideways, where it bounced, skidded directly to the back of the washing machine, then righted itself, & slipped like bugs bunny into the impossibly narrow gap between the wall and the washing machine. 

The only thing it didn’t do was make the silly “Zip” noise as it disappeared into the abyss. It did however make a good “Thump” as it hit the floor behind the washer.

I understand kinetics and weird physics. I also understand that all energy degrades toward a zero state. Somehow, the bottle of detergent instead of bleeding energy towards stillness, looked like it was pulling energy from space time in some bizarre way.

I wonder if unbeknownst to me, the odd sock wormhole was open behind the washer or dryer at the time?

For a moment I honestly considered leaving the bottle right where it ended up, and going to the grocery store for a new bottle.

It wasn’t so much laziness as wondering if the bottle was somehow cursed. I decided ironically “Cursed be damned” and set about retrieving the bottle.

Alas, like the T-Rex my arms were too short to just reach the bottle and hoist it up. I was however able to barely get my fingertips around the very top of the bottle, but could not get a good enough grip on the slick plastic to lift the weight. In other words, just enough to tease me.

Reaching into my Primate Heritage I started swearing and looking around for a tool. My Marine & Navy buddies would be proud of my creative use of language to describe anatomical impossibilities.

I’d probably lose some points for swearing like that at an inanimate object. Although, had the bottle winked out of existence I’d have been fine with that too.

After several minutes with a hanger, and a pair of pliers I crawled back on top of the washer. I wedged myself back between the washer and the cabinets above it, only to have to un-wedge myself seconds later because somehow I’d managed to start the wash cycle. 

2nd attempt I discovered that the hanger would have to be folded twice to give me the strength needed for it to life the bottle without bending the hook I’d made to a straight rod.

3rd attempt becoming a contortionist I was able to hook the bottle and lift it about 6 inches, then I discovered that impossibly, the bottle was too thick to be raised any further. There is no way that the darn thing should have been able to fall all the way to the floor in the first place.

Hmmm, “God Hates me, and we live in a glitchy simulation?”

After more creative casting of curses I came upon a plan. The hanger lifting the bottle 6 inches meant that I could get my hand on the handle of the bottle and perhaps snatch that bad boy out of the abyss and back into reality.

But only if I found a way to try the hanger around something. A cabinet handle worked, the scratches on the wood can be repaired. I was successful! My laundry soap is now in this reality again, as is my missing microfiber car washing mitt.

You might have found yourself wondering why I didn’t just pull the washer away from the wall.

Valid point!

Here’s why. To do so, I’d have to remove the doors to the laundry closet, then slide the washer through a narrow opening and possibly I’d have to pull the dryer out too. In other words… 

That would have been at least a 1 hour project, since all 6 hinges on the doors would have to be removed. All I wanted to do was pour the detergent into the washer and press “Start”.

I think I’ve been going about this all wrong… Story of my life!

What, you might ask?

Well, my answer would be pretty much everything!

It seems that I’ve been giving away my knowledge when I should have been charging for every single bit of useful information that I know.

I’ve confirmed this only recently, but have suspected it for a while now. I chose however to live in denial, comforting myself by believing that what I knew, or had to say was of little to no value.

How did I come to this epiphany? 

That’s a slightly interesting tale. I was looking at starting a podcast. In the course of that investigation I was led to the more important question of how do I monetize a podcast. After all, I’d like to earn some cash…

The easiest ways are to charge a subscription fee, or come up with some advertisers. Okay, that makes sense, but as always the devil is in the details. To monetize, you’ve apparently got to use some payment processor like Stripe, Venmo, or Square. Each of these folks take a % and often they add a flat fee too.

Some transaction processors will charge 2.9%+0.30 per credit card transaction. Wow! I should start a processing center!

If my math is correct that works out to about 0.33 per dollar. Meaning that if you charged a dollar for a subscription you’re only getting  0.67. By the way, that doesn’t account for normal taxation Federal and State which works out to about 30%. So in the end you, the person actually doing the work, end up with about 0.47 of every dollar you make.

But wait! There’s more! A podcast requires specialized hosting services, Figure around $20 a month, So before you’ve gotten your first subscription you’re already in the hole $240 just for a year of podcasting hosting services. It’s better to purchase a year than to pay month to month because that’s about 3% higher.

Some of the podcasting directories which typically are not hosting services may add even more fees. Apple for example might charge 30% if someone subscribes to your podcast via their podcast application. So that immense wealth of 0.47 you’ve made may get whittled down again to 0.17 of every dollar.

That depends on how Apple takes their 30%. I’m assuming they’re going to take it right off the top at 30% per dollar, because… They’re Apple! Then the payment processors may also take their fee on the original transaction amount and so on. I could see a scenario where the person doing to podcasting ends up losing money on subscriptions.

Amazing!

So all these podcasters absolutely have to come up with additional sources of income besides subscriptions and at the same time have to produce content that is entertaining enough that the listener count is pretty high for the podcast to be worth an advertisers time.

Don’t get me wrong, pennies add up, but as the pennies add up, so too do the taxes and fees.

I’m going to keep looking for a combination of systems that net the largest potential amount of $$ in my pocket. Now I know why some of the popular podcasts have commercials for something every 6 minutes.

This made me think, “How long have I been writing my blog?” All that time with no subscriptions, 13 -14 years? I should have been selling advertising space, and figuring a way to create more engagement. I thought it was a labor of love and that people would enjoy it on its own merit. Some have and to those loyal followers you have my profound thanks. 

I realize that Blogging, Podcasting, & Social Media engagement are all potential income streams. Now I begin to understand the difference between me & folks that have been doing these things for a while. They know or believe in their value. For them, engaging in these things are actually a business and they charge for their time one way or another.

I’ve never had that kind of faith in myself, or that what I brought to the table was worth a damn. To some degree, I think that is a function of a career in corporate America. After 20 or 30 years of shitty bosses, policies, and being ground under someone’s heel it’s tough to believe you have any value, especially when you’re thrown away on a whim in layoffs, or when you or your department are pawns between to executives settling old scores.

Corporate America’s mistreatment is not the only reason I never had faith in myself, but they sure helped cement my lack of faith in myself.

This year because of that lack of faith in myself,  I almost terminated my blog and my web hosting entirely. Part of my reasoning  was because instead of charging a reasonable fee for 3 years as they had done in years past the hosting service wanted almost $1000.00.

I’m not going to do that. I renewed for one year and am in the process of comparison shopping for a new web hosting service. The current company I’ve been using for years, maybe 13, has relocated their help services to the Philippines. They’ve made changes to the web control panels and their billing panels which have made the service far more difficult to use, and to top it all off, They’ve decided that I don’t need to see invoices or have the ability to look at past invoices.

So, the cost of my narcissism in terms of cash and annoyance to maintain has exceeded my ego’s ability to justify. That being said, I’ve got an organization that I’ve been providing hosting for, and moving my stuff and theirs would have been a Royal pain in the ass. So I’ll wait until they find a new host and someone to do their web site. I’ve got a year to plan and handle the move.

All of this kind of underscores the fundamental truth.

I have not been valuing myself. I’ve been giving away too much of myself in various forms, for free, for years.

Jerry had it all over me in that regard. He knew what to charge. He was often not charging the full price he could get, but at least he was charging more or less fairly for his services. To be fair, he’d charge more for weddings and he almost never discounted them.

He knew he was going to have to deal with a monster bride or worse, the bride’s mother! He really could take or leave a wedding. He once said that playing funerals was more satisfying because he wasn’t going to hear the deceased bitching & complaining, trying the wheedle a discount after services had been rendered, when it came time to write the check.

I saw him on multiple occasions tell a bride he was refunding the deposit because the whole wedding had become such a pain in his ass the price he was charging was insufficient. He hated outdoor weddings, especially those in the Palm Springs area. Oh, they paid pretty well, but often the bride would expect the musicians to be sitting with their instruments in the blazing sun and gusting wind blowing sheet music all over the place.

Hint to any soon to be brides… Put the musicians under an awning. Acoustic instruments don’t like sitting in scorching sun for hours. They tend to fall out of tune when heated. The musicians are also none too pleased to be sitting in formal attire usually black out in the desert sun. Jerry would say I know that it’s the Bride’s special day, but she doesn’t have to make it literally hell on earth for everyone else.

Jerry was on the verge of putting a clause in wedding contracts that charged for broken harp strings incurred at an outdoor wedding. One of the last Palm Springs weddings he played, due to the heat, humidity, and lack of awning or any shade he broke 9 strings on the big harp.

In addition to him having to remap the music in his head avoiding the notes that he couldn’t play with broken strings, while he was playing, the cost of replacement strings almost wiped out the fee he charged for the wedding.

I wish I’d had more confidence in myself. I could have learned a lot more about putting myself “out there” from Jerry. I tried to handle all the technical stuff and let him be a Musician. Now that he’s gone, I’ve got a lot of technology laying around and I’m wondering if I should sell it, or do I have enough of value to say, that putting the tech to work could turn into a profitable enterprise?

I put together a prototype podcast episode just to see if I could. I liked the result, and the one person I’ve shared it with liked the effort as a first step.

That same person has floated the question of having fun in a podcast in the flavor of the old Mystery Science Theater TV show. That show hearkened back to earlier SciFi shows on Friday Nights or Saturday Afternoons. One of the most famous was “Elvira Mistress of the Dark”

Depending on subject matter, that could be fun to do and perhaps entertaining to listen to.

I’ve got a leg up because I already own the audio tech, so if I push forward into podcasting, the investment would be pretty close to zero. Although the technology for producing voice tracks has become dirt simple and cheap. A lot of the audio gear I have laying around may be overkill now.

There are USB mics that have a shit ton of intelligence built in. If you add some decent audio processing software, it’s as simple as just having a computer, one of these mics and you’re going to produce high quality results by default.

Some of the podcasting hosts have the recording software on the server side of the equation. That means that your computer doesn’t have to be terribly powerful, all it has to be able to do is get the audio stream to the hosting server. Then all the processing is done there. Thinking about that, I suppose you could do a podcast from a dang phone with zero investment in equipment at all.

Jerry and I had been looking into “Smart” Mics. During COVID Jerry was doing a ton of Zoom sessions. He was using a borrowed USB mic to capture the harp music. Eventually, he started using the USB mic all the time because it did a fine job and could be powered by his iPad and / or his computer.

There’s one of those kinds of mics that I’ve considered. I was thinking more toward working from home and knowing that I’d have to deal with conference calls. This particular mic also works on video game consoles. Those were my original use cases. But if I were to find a suitable podcast host, subject matter, and start podcasting too. It might be a win all around.

You realize they’re stealing from you don’t you?

I’m not just talking about the government. They’re ALWAYS stealing from you.

I’m talking about the criminals running rampant throughout society. The hooligans running around smashing and grabbing. The thieves waving guns in folks faces and in barely intelligible speech saying “Rolex, Rolex, Rolex” then scampering off on foot or scooter.

I’m talking about the squatters, and entitled illegals, the muslims who refuse to eat food graciously given to them by people who can barely feed themselves.

Attachment Doug Ibendahl Facebook.jpg.

I’m speaking of the animals knocking people onto subway tracks, and the assholes punching women & children on the street because they know there will be no punishment.

I’m talking about the people with no common sense, civility, or decorum who will suddenly start brawling in a restaurant.

Carjacked robbed.Even if you haven’t been directly affected, beaten, robbed, or disturbed, I submit that you’ve been stolen from.

They’ve stolen from you, every time you’ve chosen to take your beater car to the store, instead of your nice car because you’re worried about being carjacked.  

Every time you’ve left your nice jewelry or Rolex in the safe instead of wearing it out on the town for a night, you’ve been stolen from.

NJ sneaker store robbery img.

Every time you’ve triple checked your door locks and security system before you left your home for a few days, or you’ve cut your vacation short because you didn’t want to have your home vacant, you’ve lost some of your freedom.

In short, any and every change you’ve made in your life to accommodate the possibility, or in some cases the probability that you’ll come to harm, has been theft.

Your peace of mind and security have been stolen from you.

While yes, the criminals are at fault for the crime. There is an overarching fault, or source of this theft.

Look to your left, look to your right, now look in the mirror.

Black lives matter protest nyc.

In at least one of those directions you’ll see someone who said defund the police and voted for such.

You’ll see someone who said smash and grab crime is “Victimless” because the insurance companies will pay for the loss.

You’ll see someone who consistently supported lax criminal prosecution because there were too many of this or that kind of person in prison. You’ll see someone who took it on faith that the border would sort itself out.

You’ll see a person who disarmed you because they were afraid to protect themselves and imposed their fear and their will upon you unbidden.

You’ll see a person who believed that their cruelty was kindness, who knew they were “right” and that their “rightness” should apply to all. Any and all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding.

That person or persons, exercised their will by voting (usually), or by protesting for some cause that they were only obliquely aware of.

Not out of belief or commitment, but to brag about to their colleagues on Monday morning at work. They wanted to be able to answer their coworker’s question, “What did you do this weekend?” With something supremely virtuous.

Only very rarely did one of these people actually investigate, analyze, evaluate the end point, or unintended consequences, of what they were supporting by protesting.

They needed the social credit with their coworkers, and instagram likes.

So they stole from the rest of us. Maybe they didn’t realize that’s what they were doing at the time. But they did it nonetheless, using authoritarian intimidation tactics and “consensus”. 

Bear in mind these people are often the “Karens” in our society. These people were the people saying the unvaccinated should be put in camps. These are the people who demand mask wearing for their protection not yours, and tried to implement vaccine IDs to enter venues.

They’re the ones who supported mandatory vaccinations, while at the same time screaming about abortion rights and how important a woman’s bodily autonomy is.

These are the people who will gasp and cry at female genital mutilation, saying it’s abhorrent. But will strap their infant son to a board to be circumcised.

These people are profoundly confused when they’re mugged, their homes are burglarized, or their neighborhood vandalized.

They somehow think their “Virtue” should make them immune from such things and that their virtue should be obviously visible to would be criminals.

They’re outraged that the police didn’t show up until several hours after their 911 call. Yet instead of admitting that the police are necessary and require more funding, they’ll suggest less police funding. Then they’ll demand a social services person address non violent issues.

They’ll quietly hire private security for their perfectly planned HOA community. Doing so allows them to continue virtue signaling, and blame the private security firm for mishandling a situation if someone gets hurt.

Any logical thinking person, regardless of political affiliation or even closely held beliefs, can see objectively that we’re swirling around the maelstrom.

There’s still time to escape, time to right the ship and choose a better course.

Florida Sheriff Tells Residents To Shoot Home Intruders And save Taxpayers Money 60555 1.The trouble is, the deeper into this particular maelstrom we go, the more brutal the corrective action must be.

We’re past the point of simply hiring more police. We may be at the point now where the police must become everything the liberal progressives feared they would become.

It’s quite possible that police will have to shoot first and hope the criminal survives to be tried in court.

That too will make us all less safe, and once again we as a society have something stolen from us. That intangible thing, is our safety out in public.

High speed chases are supposedly limited in California because of the excessive collateral damage these chases inevitably cause. What happens when police by necessity are quick on the draw, exchanging gunfire with criminals? What does that collateral damage look like?

Soft enforcement of the law, does not make things better. It creates more lawlessness.

The trouble with enforcing the law, is that often the lower classes in society bear the brunt of enforcement. To truly make things better, to pull us back from the brink, law enforcement must be equal and perhaps draconian for a time across all levels of society.

Meaning that from The President, to his family, to members of Congress and their families, not one single person is above the law, ever. Our Society must insure that no-one can buy their way out of prosecution or punishment regardless of who they are, how much money they have, or to some extent even their mental capacity. 

Equal justice under the law is a precept of this nation. It’s time to get back to making examples of people that break the law by punishing those people. Corruption in high office or amongst those charged with enforcing the law is, in my mind, a high crime. Corrupt prosecutors, judges, lawyers, politicians, or police should be the most harshly punished.

In cases where a corrupt prosecutor obtained a false conviction, they should have to serve time for their corruption and the sentence from the false conviction(s). For example, the George Floyd case. Floyd died from an overdose, not from Derek Chauvin pinning him to the ground.

False accusations of crime should be harshly punished as well. This is especially true in cases where the false accusation resulted in imprisonment or excessive fines & compensatory damages. For example, the E Jean Carrol case, and the Trump real estate case in New York.

I also ask why Jon Stewart has not been indicted for falsely estimating the worth of his New York property.

There is the appearance that Leticia James and Alvin Bragg have used the law to obtain their desired results, NOT justice. I would very much like to see their allegations and evidence of guilt against Trump & have them explain their lack of concern about Stewart. I want their entire process exposed to full public inquiry.

I say this is not in defense of Trump. It’s in defense of one of the foundational concepts of our nation.

I’ve written this because the lawlessness has pissed me off. I see no end to it, only escalation. I refuse to live in fear but at the same time, unconsciously have been making decisions which result in self limitation while exercising my freedoms because I’m adapting to avoid the problems.

In that I’m as guilty of capitulating to the criminals as the stores which unlock their doors only when you ask to be allowed in.

We’re told this behavior is based in safety for the employees and the customers. In reality it’s based in fear. Fear that self defense isn’t permitted. Fear that a customer will be injured in a crime and subsequently sue for damages, Fear that the criminal may be injured and also be able to sue even though they were injured in the commission of a crime.

Even my choice to drive the beater vehicle is based in fear. Fear that my nice vehicle will be carjacked, fear that the insurance company will never pay me enough to replace the nice vehicle.

I’ve experienced that already. An illegal totaled my paid for, well maintained vehicle. The insurance company paid off less than the cost of a comparable used vehicle & I ended up with another car loan that I didn’t want. That illegal with no drivers license, or insurance, took something from me and I got to pick up the difference. She stole from me personally, and from everyone else paying for car insurance in Southern California.

Had the immigration laws been enforced, she wouldn’t have been in the country. So once again lack of enforcement of the law resulted in tangible harm being visited upon an innocent victim.

These are the hidden costs of not enforcing the law. 

Closed mall.I find that I feel no pity for neighborhoods where fast food restaurants, grocery stores, pharmacies, and other necessary stores, are closing due to crime.

I know that the shopping centers closest to me are probably looking at closing. If not the entire shopping center, then stores within the center. I’m expecting to loose the nearby Taco Bell, Burger King, McDonald’s, and probably a number of smaller independent restaurants, due to the new minimum wage in California, the criminal element, and too few customers in a day. 

Lincoln mall 1 min.I suspect that the shopping centers will follow suit. I’ve seen it before. There was a shopping mall in San Bernardino years ago.

I worked right across the street from it. I shopped there on my lunch hour, and did my Christmas shopping after work. That mall wasn’t where you’d find top of the line things, but for a sweater, or a shirt, or a pair of socks it was perfect and convenient.  

I remember at some point walking through the place with my other half and commenting that the clientele was getting kind of low class. Then on another occasion we witnessed petty shoplifting and reported it to the employees of the store.

They shrugged and said there wasn’t anything they could do. By the time the police would show up, the criminals would be gone.

Within a few years all the major stores had vacated. What was left, was a strange collection of stores mostly involved in the wig, weave, and cheap cosmetics industries.

None of that was of any interest to us so we stopped going to that mall entirely. A few years after that, the mall was closed.

The last few times I’ve been to the local malls, and even the newest outdoor shopping plaza, I’ve noticed the same pattern and signs. Boarded up stores, “For Lease” signs, a more shady element in the clientele, the feeling that too many eyes were looking for opportunity, and once again I’ve seen petty theft brazenly happening. 

I thought a year or two ago, these were residual effects from the COVID lockdowns. Indeed that may have been the start, but the damage is taking a long time to correct.

I’m thinking now that the years of lawlessness, “mostly peacful” protests followed by looting and general destruction have contributed to the damage.

Uncertainty about what will be done to enforce the law, & loss of clientele due to their concerns for safety, may well end the era of some shopping centers in my local area.

Ironically, the thieves end up stealing from themselves. They’re just not smart enough to see it. 

Few people think about what happens when the cost to open a business’s doors go up. 

There’s a finite cost just to open a store every day. Power, employees, insurance, merchandise, just to name a few things. If these cost more, then the cost of merchandise to the consumer will go up. This reduces the consumer’s buying power and as I understand it, is called inflation. If the consumer’s salary doesn’t keep up, then they’ll buy less, forego purchases altogether,  or find cheaper alternatives. 

Eventually there’s a point where the business cannot remain in business because the cost to open is greater than the profit to be had from selling merchandise. If the business is also dealing with shoplifting, that point is reached faster. A smart business owner will sell off everything, then find greener pastures.

California is a perfect petrie dish demonstrating these concepts.

Since it’s essentially legal to steal $900 a day from a store. Plus in some areas there are multiple thieves or gangs of thieves the losses rapidly add up.

Cost of mitigation to slow the theft down may exceed the profitability of the store in a particular location, so logic dictates the store must close to protect the shareholders. 

We’ve seen this in San Francisco, & Oakland. Fast food restaurants are closing because of increasing violence toward their employees and robberies. (A.K.A. Increased liability.) Retail stores have or are closing because the theft has exceeded the profitability of the store and the cost of insurance + limitations on coverage make the policy no longer affordable.

Lawlessness, & failure to enforce laws are directly responsible for the resulting “Food Deserts” and lack of neighborhood stores and services.

It doesn’t take long.

Aside from the loss of jobs, the loss of services, loss of pharmacies, loss of grocery stores, and the loss of places to eat… What happens to the people left in these “No go zones?” One could conclude that Ghettos are a result of lawlessness.

Perhaps the conclusion could be reached that said, Black Lives Matter and the Defund the police movement have done far worse things to African Americans and other minorities than the police or racism ever could.

Once again, a whole group of people has been stolen from. This time by people claiming to help. In this case these folks may have had their futures stolen too.

This is shit that goes through my mind often. I think to myself I can’t be the only one who sees it.

I’ve written this long assed post because this rattling around my brain is like a splinter. I really needed to dig it out of my head and put it in yours!

You’re Welcome!

Is it just me? Or do other people argue with Siri?

I wasn’t even trying to argue with Siri. I didn’t ask Siri for anything!

Suddenly Siri answered a question that I hadn’t asked.

I was talking to the dog Jesse and apparently Siri thought “Jesse “ sounded enough like Siri that it needed to respond.

I told Siri to shut the fuck up. Then Siri got mouthy with me saying “I wont respond to that.”

Excuse me??? Dumb shit, you DID just respond to that! Gee Siri you’re not too bright for a computer are you?

Siri: “I found some results on that, I can display them for you if you ask from your iPhone.”

Okay, Now I’m curious. I pick up my iPhone I ask Siri to display the results

The little Siri indicator on my iPhone was moving like it does when it’s listening so obviously Siri knew I was using the iPhone.

BUT and this is a serious BUG as far as I’m concerned. The HomePod also heard what I said and told me again it could display the result if I asked using my iPhone.

WTF????

I pressed the side button on my iPhone which manually activates Siri and asked again. Again the HomePod responds and tells me to ask from my iPhone.

Do you notice the endless loop here?

I try again, this time whispering to my iPhone like Creepy Joe Biden trying to sound threatening. Again the HomePod responds.

I leave the living room and go into the bathroom once again pressing the button on the iPhone and whispering my request.

The HomePod minis in the bedroom hear me and tell me to ask from my iPhone

FUCK!!!!!

Now I’m pissed and call Siri a piece of shit. I ask what happened to Siri automatically showing results on my nearest devices with displays, like the iPad and iPhone? It used to do that without question.

Siri: “Oh you’ve lost your iPad let me make it make a sound.”
Me: No! Stop! Don’t make a sound on my iPad!

Siri completely ignores me and OH, just to be EXTRA helpful Siri plays the sound on the iPad and keeps playing it. I pressed the power button and both the volume buttons. The iPad even with physical confirmation that the unit was in the hands of a human KEEPS making an annoyingly loud sound.

I force restarted the damn machine!

Is this what we have to look forward to? Is this our future? Will I be subjected to Siri misbehaving and refusing to comply with command directives?

I know Siri is just a clever approximation of AI. I don’t really like “Intelligent” assistants, on my phone or when I’m “ON the Phone” talking to a corporation to get assistance with their product or service.

I’d love to know why I, an adult male, who speaks English natively can’t get these systems to respond in any helpful way. It begs the question for me; am I the only person who has trouble with these bits of software? Is it that I speak English with little to no accent? If I spoke with a heavy accent would I get better response?

If I’m not the only person having problems with these systems, the why are they ubiquitous?

Siri does often work for me. But when Siri screws the pooch it’s major. The most recent iteration of Siri also has a defect in its responses.

If you’re using the Siri American voice 1, and you say “Siri stop playing music in 2 hours,” Siri responds “Stopping in two hours.” But unlike in the past, it now finishes the word “Hours” as though it’s asking a question. It used to sound proper, but the latest HomePod update has done something bad to the Voice responses.

Not to bash on Apple, but I do expect that testing would be done to make sure that the software works when that software interfaces with an actual Human.